Still winning, Still circling

Last night I played volleyball, the first time since the woman who organized the games passed away tragically this past weekend. We had a smaller than normal group of only 8 players, some of them had not heard about what happened. It definitely put a sad overtone over the group before we started playing.

With only 8 people we played 4’s on a side. My team was two men and two women, the other team had four men. Despite the gender inequity once again my team was victorious, losing only one game the entire night. The one woman on my team has the same name as my ex so it was a bit awkward calling her name all night. She is a great player though. I played consistently even without getting a lot of big hits. I am consistent on serving, passing and defense which in the big picture means more. Ever since I have joined this higher skilled group my play has elevated, because it had to.

On Sunday afternoon they are going to be doing a memorial/life remembrance/volleyball session which I think will be cool. I only knew Jaime from playing volleyball with her but many of the group were good friends with her outside of just playing. I think Sunday is going to be an emotional but memorable day for all involved. It’s hard when good people leave us unexpectedly.

After playing last night I headed to Bruninas to grab a couple beers and dinner with the bartender that is trying to get me to meet that woman. I will probably run into her at one point or another. If I am feeling motivated maybe I will shoot over for happy hour tonight when this woman typically frequents the place, maybe not.

On top of the Sunday volleyball I am scheduled to play pickleball both Saturday and Sunday mornings. If you told the version of me three years ago that I would be playing pickleball 3-4 times a week as well as weekly higher level sand volleyball I would have laughed in your face. I attest the change to a certain degree of luck as well as just my stubborn nature where I refuse to go quietly into the night of old age.

When I read last years post I talked about a change where my driving got more aggressive which I suspected was tied into anger and or frustration about the same thing that has caused me anger and frustration for most of 2023. Every time I read a post from last year that ties into that, it makes the series of events that I allowed to occur afterward seem more and more ridiculous. As of today I feel like I am continuing on a circling pattern, trying to figure out where a safe place is to land.

Short format, Text to image, Boxed, Air, First time

Last night I messed around with an editing suite that is targeted at short format content like Instagram and TikTok. It has an app where you can edit directly on your phone as well as web site that allows you to work on your computer. It’s called CapCut. I like the flexibility it gives me. In this ADD driven world we live in keeping somebody’s attention for more than 15 seconds can be a big ask. I redid a couple of my existing short videos in the editor and re-released them. I liked the results.

The program also has a cool AI text driven image feature. You type out a description of what you would like the image to be and AI will crank out four versions of what it thinks is a good match. You can continue to add to the text to further refine what you want.

With the image you see here I simply indicated I wanted a picture of a man looking out over a peaceful lake in the mountains. But I could have continued to add detail to the description to further refine what is produced. I have heard of and seen AI generated imagery but this was the first time I dipped my toe in it. It’s sort of amazing, and scary.

Last night I finally got two custom stand orders boxed up and ready to ship. Delays in filament shipping and a couple print issues made the stands take a few days longer than I expected. Luckily both of the customers were understanding when I reached out to them.

Last night I finished up watching Air, the Amazon movie about Nike signing Michael Jordan to a shoe deal. I did not realize that prior to this that Nike was bottom of the barrel when it came to basketball shoe sales. The signing of Jordan single handedly propelled them to the pinnacle. It was an interesting movie, solid B.

Tonight will be my first volleyball session since the woman that used to organize everything passed away. It’s going to be awkward and emotional I’m sure. They are doing an afternoon memorial volleyball and hang out session Sunday afternoon that I want to try to participate in. She was only 45 years old. Every time I think about her sudden passing it impacts me.

It’s HUGE, Review, A hard stop, Too close for comfort

Yesterday I had my post ultrasound consult with my vein doctor. As expected he said those veins in my right leg were really bad. To be more accurate he said one of them was huge. So we laid out the treatment plan which will be a total of 5 visits. They burn the big one in the upper leg and then later treat the lower leg using an injection. The procedure doesn’t sound like a great time but should be no worse than me getting cut on for skin cancer surgery which I have had a dozen times or more already. The first procedure will kick off mid-March. I look forward to getting on the other side of it.

One of my customers that just bought three stands from me did a short positive review of them on his YouTube channel which I appreciated. The more visibility I get the better it is for business.

I was burning through season two episodes of Halo last night (officially love the show) when I hit a hard stop after episode three. Evidently I had now caught up and can no longer binge watch, instead forced to watch the new episode weekly like a mere mortal, bummer.

Elsa rarely sleeps in the bed with me anymore. Most of the time she will opt to sleep in one of the two dog beds in the room. Last night after taking a shower she was in the spot you see pictured. I appreciated she wanted to sleep with me and since I prefer to sleep on the right side (as you are laying on it), I carefully injected myself into the roughly 18 inches of bed that was clear. If I try to forceably move her she takes that as a sign to get down so I took care to work around her position. I figured once I was in bed she would move over a little bit. I was wrong.

She was next to me the entire night. I got spotty sleep due to my lack of space and her randomly pressing against me. At one point her rear legs were up in my arm pit. Several times she would push against it to stretch. It was cute as well as annoying at the same time. I woke up with her still pressed against my side. I’m not sure what made her want to be so close last night. I’m fine with it but will have to map out more realistic bed real estate for myself if it continues.

Last year I had yet another skin cancer surgery procedure on the schedule as well as my trying to work out some of the logistics regarding how I exactly was going to move my existence from one spot to another.

Good end

Despite the somewhat rainy start to yesterday which canceled my morning pickleball plans I still was able to play in the afternoon. I extended my play session to around 3 hours to make up for the morning.

I got back late afternoon but had it in my head that I wanted to get a ride in, this time on my S22 which sees little use nowadays. I did a loop that included part of the Greenway, the Cabana bar and the beach. I cut the ride a little short because it was chilly and getting dark by the time I headed back. As before I got a number of EUC questions and conversations while at the Cabana. People are pretty curious about how the whole deal works.

When I got home I wasted little time before making myself a pasta dinner. It’s fresh pasta I got at Publix that only requires around 5 minutes in boiling water. I strain it, dump a jar of spaghetti sauce on it and presto, I now have meals for 2-3 nights, perfect. I finished off the three day weekend watching more Halo episodes and was quite content doing so.

Over the weekend I pulled open a drawer that was still empty from the reallocation of space I did when my ex was living with me. When I did a lone sock of hers appeared, apparently missed when everything was collected close to two months ago. Seeing the sock was a bit of a visual trigger for me and stopped me in my tracks for a few moments. The wide array of emotions that flooded in quickly took me by surprise. After that brief pause I grabbed the sock and tossed it in the trash, where anything else I have discovered of hers has gone since the first initial week. My brain quickly corrected itself back to thinking more about things that are relevant now instead of water under the bridge that will never flow my direction again.

Last year I was going through a weird time period where I knew chores I was doing around the old house were finite and quickly coming to an end. I also referenced mental struggles that I was even going through back then that are tied into the same subject referenced in the above paragraph, although cryptically so. I am so lucky to be free and clear of that groundhog day pattern of futile bullshit.

Getting dirty, Finally saw it, Getting Wet, More sound, Halo, More shock

Friday after work I met up with my buddy Derek, who has been my lifting partner at the gym for at least 20 years, at a nearby Publix to grab a beer, yes, grab a beer. Publix is the dominant grocery chain in this area but there is one close to my house that has a small bar area. A had a cup of some IPA they had on tap. After finishing our beer both of us hit the store to get our respective grocery shopping completed.

Saturday morning I had another pickleball session because of a wet Sunday forecast. I played for close to two hours before calling it good. I really enjoy playing with the weekend group, there are a number of good people among them.

Saturday afternoon I did something I had never done since moving to the new house, an oil change on the Tacoma. When it last needed an oil change I took the lazy way out and took it to a quick oil change place. I was not pleased with the wait and the price of that service so I mentally committed to doing it myself after the next 5000 miles pass.

I needed to go out and buy a new oil catch can, the old one got thrown out with the great purge that took place at my old house. When I got under the truck it became apparent that the oil change place used an impact wrench on every fastener involved in the process, I could not budge them with my socket set. Luckily my Dewalt impact gun was able to pop it all loose. As is typically the case I wound up wearing some of the oil but things went well otherwise. I am good to go for another 5000 miles. It felt good to get dirty.

Saturday evening Derek invited me to come hang at his place as his wife was out of town. He lives on Isle of Capri, an area I never have checked out despite living here for close to 25 years. It is only 12 miles away from me. Derek is very handy. For as long as I have known him I have heard of the endless projects and improvements he has made on his house but I had never been there in person. It was very cool to see it first hand.

He lives right on a canal, Hurricane Ian did a number on his home, flooding it with a couple feet of water. They had to gut it and redo a ton, much of it done by Derek. He is still finishing up a few small details but for the most part the house is back together. We spent a lot of time just hanging on his pool deck facing the canal and shooting the shit while drinking. I brought a six pack of Cayman Jacks to contribute to the party. Later he also made dinner, Derek is a good chef to boot. It was a great hang out. I told him he needs to hang at my place next, which has never seen either.

I even did a live stream Saturday night after returning home. I utilized my new soundboard that allows me to inject ridiculous voice filters and sound effects into the stream. It was pretty fun.

As predicted Sunday was a complete washout with rain falling all day long. After a slow morning I headed over to the county fitness center to get a workout in. I combined chest and lower body, something I never do. I did it to make sure I hit all of my desired body parts this week despite having Monday off.

I did some cleaning up around the house during the day, spending most of the effort in the hobby room which was getting a little out of hand. The end result was the room looking loosely organized, at least. I also spent a decent chunk of time watching Halo, the series based on the video game I played on the Xbox for quite awhile. I have heard a number of people say they like the series and I see why. I have now almost completed season one and still have season two to plow through. If you like sci-fi action then you will love it, regardless of if you played the game or not.

I made a Sunday visit to Carrabas last night for dinner, a rarity. There were a bunch of vehicles in the carry out parking area so I thought I may have arrived too early to miss the dinner rush, it was a little before 8PM. I was wrong. I walked in to a basically empty bar along with a nearly empty dining room. I enjoyed a quick dinner before returning home to watch more Halo.

I was supposed to play pickleball this morning but it was still lightly raining. The good news is I have a second play session already booked for this afternoon. Like I said previously, I can’t get enough. I just need to make sure I don’t cross the line where playing too much could lead to injury.

So I got another shocking text this weekend. The woman that organizes our weekly volleyball sessions had a heart attack and died. I don’t know her age but I think she may have been younger than me. This marks the second time in a month that two people I would have never expected to pass, did. The news threw me in a weird state of mind, making me wonder just how long I have until I check out. If it can happen to them, it can happen to myself at any point. It was a very tragic text to receive. I have no idea how things will be this Thursday when I get together with the gang to play. She was universally liked and always had a smile for the world to see. I am struggling with the reality that she is gone.

Another 5-1, Three to play

Last night I had another good session of volleyball, once again playing on a team of three, with my other two teammates being different from last week. Despite the change the outcome was again very similar with my team winning all of our games but one. I didn’t hit very well but a lot of that was because one of the guys set very high. I have never been good at hitting real high sets, I mistime them all the time. I prefer lower sets that I can keep in front of my field of vision. But outside of hitting the rest of my game was solid, I served, passed and played defense well. Playing with this group is much more physically demanding as the rallies go longer. Even so I woke up today not limping and ready to play some pickleball at lunch.

Speaking of pickleball, I have a three day weekend coming up and pickleball will be a consistent part of it. There is a possibility that I could be playing all three days although the Sunday forecast is looking a little wet right now. My love of pickleball is approaching the level I had for volleyball for over a decade. I just can’t get enough of it.

I am going to be fighting the urge to go get that sofa set at Costco this weekend. We will see how successful I am. I have typical chores to do but I also want to get a bunch of riding in if time and the weather cooperates.

I am hoping my mind cooperates with me as well as the weekend marches on. The dark thinking keeps reigniting here and there like those birthday candles you can never blow out. I need the mental equivalent of a glass of water to dump on top of them.

Last year I was feeling stressed about the home inspection that was done on my old house prior to it’s sale. I also had just dug into my Chinese zodiac sign as well as taken a couple different personality tests. Both of these avenues described a lot of my traits and tendencies accurately. It also showed other types that were and were not compatible with mine. My last ex was one of those I was supposed to clearly avoid. On the flip side, Christine and I actually were the same Chinese zodiac sign which is normally a good thing, and it was. As I have said before and will surely say again, a lot of my relationship decisions simply don’t make much sense.

To the groin and back, Another solo, Fresh furniture

Yesterday I had the ultrasound done which is prerequisite to having the vein procedure done. I had to take off my pants, and pull up these ridiculous oversized shorts. I then sat there for close to 45 minutes as she moved the slippery ultrasound wand from my groin to my ankle. She did both legs despite the issue only being in my right one, I guess they are required to do both. Next week I meet with the doc again to hopefully get some concrete plans and dates on the table.

My 4th less than stellar Valentine’s Day in a row went down last night. I went over to the italian restaurant I frequent often. I sat down and the bartender looked at me with a funny face as she told me that I just missed the woman she wanted me to meet, by minutes. Oh well, I told her I will surely meet up with her at some point.

When I returned I fired up another random live stream, again on my phone. I rambled for over an hour and a half about pretty much whatever popped into my mind.

When I was at Costco the other night I saw this sofa set that interested me. The sofa and love seat that I have are well worn and were originally picked out by Cindy around a decade ago so I have no issue getting rid of them. I think I am going to put the purchase on the will do list once I find out what my tax situation is going to be this year. If it works out that I don’t get smashed with taxes I’ll pull the trigger.

Last year at this time I ironically was also talking about the potential tax ramifications of my home sale as well as the daily scramble to keep the sale and purchase process going simultaneously.

Easier, Fast Lane, 15 year old ball, Vday

I had my appointment with the vein doctor yesterday to talk about what to do about the nasty varicose vein in my right leg. I told him how I had the same vein in my left leg stripped 25 years ago. He told me that technology has changed drastically since them. He said they get rid of the vein through ablation which is a fancy word for heat. Unlike vein stripping which was a surgical procedure performed in a hospital, the new way can be done in a regular office. He said the process is fast and recovery is a fraction of what vein stripping required. Sign me up!

So today I go in to get an ultrasound done which is required before the procedure. There is a good chance the procedure will be covered by insurance as well which is a win/win. I’m hoping within a month or two the nasty veins that have been around for a couple decades are history.

Late in the afternoon I went to a nearby Staples to complete the TSA Precheck process. I had to present them with my passport and then have a full set of fingerprints taken followed by a picture. After paying the $78 my application was complete. I should get my official precheck status within a few weeks.

After I finished I popped into Lowe’s to grab some stuff for the garden. I picked up two kinds of lettuce as well as kale. I’d like to get more salads into my dietary rotation. They used to be an everyday thing.

Yesterday I had a number of packages arrive. One of them was a new volleyball. The volleyball I had was somewhere around 15 years old, it was definitely time for a new one. I personalized the ball with the three letters I put on most things I want connected to myself. I hope to get to play with it a bit tomorrow night.

I also got a shirt with body armor inside of it. It has protection for my shoulders, elbows and back. I figure it will be a good addition to my riding safety gear which you can never have too much of.

Today is Valentine’s Day. This will be the third year in a row where I am without a person I could designate as my valentine. Oh well, there could be worse things I suppose although I can’t say I am walking around with much pep in my step lately.

Last year I again referenced the Valentines Day situation, did more house sale prep and talked about Alison receiving Sadie’s ashes.

Turned her around, Fuckdiculous, Sales

After work yesterday I went to Sport Clips to get my hair cut. I had a stylist I never had before, Brittany. Brittany seemed like she was in a grumpy mood. When I tried to start up conversation with her early on I was getting one or two word replies. I let her work in silence for awhile but then tried again, talking some football with her which actually got her engaged. By the time the MVP haircut was over she was friendly as can be. I felt a small sense of accomplishment turning her frown upside down.

Last year at some point I wound up registering the domain name fuckdiculous.com. The origin of that decision ties into my relationship with my ex which is no longer relevant. However after I registered it I did nothing put park the domain.

Yesterday I decided to connect a simple web page to the name, explaining what the word means. Maybe some time in the future someone will want to buy the domain from me for thousands of dollars or maybe I will just own it forever, knowing exactly why it is significant, to me.

My 3D store which was more or less on life support for most of the last 18 months due to the upheaval of residence has started generating sales once again. I owe it mostly to videos and social media posts where I have my Veteran suspension wheels on the stands. People see it and ask where to get one. Last night I finished up building a stand I no longer typically make, the Stubby. Somebody specifically asked for it so I fulfilled his request.

Today I have my appointment with the vein doctor to see what my options are with the nasty looking varicose veins that populate my right leg. I am curious what the advised course of action will be as well as the cost, of course. This afternoon I have an appointment to apply for my TSA Precheck clearance. It costs like $75 and makes air travel security checkpoints less annoying. I am hoping to get up in the air more often in the future so it will be time and money well spent IMO.

Last year I had accepted an offer on my old house after a whirlwind week of showings. I also talked about how much my mindset towards a number of things had changed in the prior months as part of this process. It was the process of caring less about things, a process that has only continued since. Finally I verified that I did NOT watch the Super Bowl alone last year, Ali and Shuggs came over.

Plane, For science, Twice pickled, Vince, Marvels Sucks, Blah Bowl

On Friday our area became a traffic nightmare when a small private jet crashed on I-75. The two pilots died but somehow one crew member and two passengers got out. It shut down the interstate in both directions for nearly a day. Luckily with where I live I did not need to get into that mess.

After work I went over to the restaurant where the bartender said there was a woman normally there for happy hour that she told about me. Well apparently she wasn’t there. There were two older women there who relocated right next to me at the bar. One of them definitely had her face worked over, a look that I don’t find appealing. So I just wound up drinking a few beers there and grabbing dinner.

While I was finishing up I got a text from my buddy Rich who did have to deal with plane crash traffic. He asked if I wanted to go hang at a bar as he was going to wait until the traffic situation lessened. Despite currently sitting at a bar I told him I would meet him at Foxboro’s on the other side of the parking lot. I had another beer with a side order of fried pickles. They tasted good at first but I stopped about halfway through, my gluttony meter had pegged out.

When I went home I decided to do a science experiment. I wanted to live stream again from my phone to see if it again generated higher than average stream traffic. The big difference is I did this from my office so I could monitor the stream with my computer which would allow me to take care of spammers more efficiently. Once again I got way more views than normal. I did have a few people in chat that I had to hammer. I also enlisted a couple long term subscribers on my channel to become moderators which allows them to delete messages as well. Despite drinking while I was out earlier I put down another three or four Cayman Jacks on stream.

I set an alarm Saturday morning to get up to play pickleball with the group I normally play Sundays with. A new couple was there this time whom were both good, raising the challenge difficulty which is good for me. I played pretty well. My pickleball game has definitely gotten significantly better since I moved here last March.

Saturday afternoon after grabbing groceries I shot a quick video of installing some new accessories on my Veteran Patton, a set of new pads. The pads looks better and provide me with some more comfort while riding, a win/win.

Late afternoon I hopped on my Sherman S and went rolling. I rode from my house to the Greenway, the beach and then finally stopping at DD on the way back for some evening coffee since I knew I wasn’t having dinner until later. On the ride home I also buzzed through the pickleball courts, curious how many would be there around 6PM on a Saturday night. The answer was, not many. I guess some people do have lives outside of pickleball.

I went to Carrabas Saturday night. I normally wait to go until after 8PM, otherwise the place is a madhouse. Waiting this long meant I could easily grab a seat at the bar as there were only a handful of other people there.

I asked Helen the bartender if she knew how to make a Rusty Nail. My buddy Larry out in LA had mentioned this drink to me and I told him I would give it a shot. I am not a hard liquor drinker normally. I have had a number of bad experiences with it over the years, many of which wound up with my head in a toilet bowl. The Rusty Nail was ok but one of them was enough. It definitely will not supplant Cayman Jack as my alcoholic beverage of choice.

I was up early again on Sunday to play another round of pickleball with much of the same people. I had to lean pretty heavily on Advil to get me through the session as I had a very physically active prior week and was feeling it.

Sunday afternoon I finished up watching the Marvels, a movie I heard absolutely awful reviews for but since I could watch it for free on Disney I decided to see it for myself. I wish I hadn’t. It was easily the worst and stupidest Marvel movie I had ever seen. I was literally shaking my head as I forced myself to finish the film. Don’t bother seeing it, unless you are self masochist. I would give it a D, if not an F.

Mid-afternoon I decided to go out on yet another ride. Mentally I haven’t been feeling great so I thought a shot of wheel inspired clarity would be a good thing. I followed much the same route as the day before except this time I stopped at the Cabana, a local popular hangout that I have been to a number of times, including with both of my ex’s from last year.

As I pulled up on the wheel with my various body armor I got a lot of comments/questions about the wheel which I am accustomed to. Once I got settled in I grabbed a Miller Lite and sat at the outside chair rail. To my right was an older man that I decided to engage in conversation. I later found out his name was Vince.

Vince and I talked for at least 45 minutes with most of it being him sharing some of his interesting life experiences. At 84 years old he has a bunch of them. The funniest one to me was him describing when he was 76 years old he got involved with a 38 year old woman. As you can imagine the relationship had a strong financial component to it. When he described some of the situations that came up both he and I started laughing out loud, a lot. I listened to three Miller Lite’s worth of stories from Vince. He had more he could share but I told him I will hear more of them the next time I see him. Despite being 84 Vince is still working, he said he was too bored otherwise.

I cruised down to the beach once again and just sat on the bench chilling out before reversing back for home. I once again stopped at DD and had a phone conversation with Gladys as I finished my coffee. This weekend I found myself more appreciative of being able to get out on a wheel than normal. The 20 mile ride yesterday was filled with all sorts of diverse moments.

So I had very little interest in the Super Bowl. When the Chiefs first got there I was really happy for Andy Reid but now that they have been there four out of the last five years my happiness for him has dwindled. Over the weekend I tried to see if any of my friends were interested in coming over to watch the game with me. They either had other plans or just preferred to watch at home. Over my time when I was married to Alison and most of the years I was with Cindy we would host small Super Bowl parties at the house. Even when there was not a party I don’t recall ever watching the game alone over the last 25 years. This year was that year.

Sure I could have gone to a bar I guess to insert myself around other people but I found little motivation to do so. So I laid there and watched the game with Elsa, who of course slept through most of it.

The game, while close did not hold my interest. My preference would have been for the 49ers to win but the fact that the Chiefs pulled it out again in overtime didn’t really matter to me either. I found myself almost annoyed the game went into overtime, pushing the arrival of my head to my pillow later than I would have liked.

Speaking of pillows, my sleep has been less than ideal lately. Thankfully I’m not in one of those modes where I wake up and my brain keeps me awake for hours on time. Instead I just find myself waking up often. Sometimes it is to pee but most of the time it’s for unclear reasons. The end result is my feeling like I am not getting deep, restful sleep. With my state of mind not being what I would prefer, scatter gun sleep does not help things.