Merry Christmas

Here is the 2008 collection of xmas/birthday cards.  Having two birthdays right around the holiday adds substantially to the total.  Here is my xmas present to you, another bizarre dream.

I was in some sort of church social function.  I was there with my dad, step mom, and brother, Todd.  There are people all out on a dance floor with a live band and microphone.  All of a sudden I find myself behind the mic, singing some song, badly.  I don’t know half of the words and what I did know didn’t sound good either.  As I sung the room at first slowly and then quickly started to clear out.  Obviously people could hardly stand the sound of my voice.  Then some bitchy looking woman comes up to me before I was done singing.  She starts yelling at me, saying I’m not singing with enough energy and enthusiasm.  I say “I’m Hank Williams, I don’t sing this type of music” (yes I was pretending to be Hank Williams evidently)

The woman snatches the mic from me and starts singing herself, trying to save the event.  I am furious that my dad even expected me to try to act like Hank Williams.  I am also embarrassed by what just transpired and start to march out of the building with my dad, step mom and Todd behind me.  As I was walking out the door I saw a few church board members.  I yell in their general direction, “As far as I’m concerned, the board members can all go f themselves!”

So we are outside walking through the church yard to the parking lot.  My dad is very angry at me for my embarrassing poor singing performance as well as my insults to the church board members.  He says something like “you realize there is going to be a huge argument about this…”  I spin around and start screaming at my dad, I am so mad I am shaking.  I yell ” for 10 years I have been coming to this f’ing church, acting like Hank Williams!  The only reason I did it was to try to please YOU!”  My dad is stunned into silence.

Then Todd speaks to me.  “You know, you have always been creepy..” “Creepy?!”, I say, “WTF do you mean “creepy”?”  He says, “ever since 7th grade I knew you were creepy when you said stuff about Lithuania invading Harrisburg..”  It was my turn to stand there dumbfounded. End of dream.

Happy Holidays.