Giving it a go, tragic irony

So yesterday I was still highly symptomatic with plenty of death rattle coughing, nose blowing and sneezing.  The only positive I had going on was overall my energy level felt like it stabilized from the constant decline I was on for the last several days.  I did a few small piddly things around the house to try to feel some degree of usefulness and normalcy.

When I first get up in the morning it is like all of the symptoms come in at once, like they are just waiting to annihilate me while I slept.  I woke up this morning looking and sounding awful.  I had already decided that I was going to work regardless, if for nothing else to visit the employee health clinic to let someone look at me.  I have a race coming up this weekend, I can’t be feeling like this still.  I generally try to avoid antibiotics as a rule as they are over-prescribed which limits their effectiveness over time.

I have a busy stint coming up with Ali leaving town again, meaning I am picking up the dogs tonight.  The running club Christmas party is Thursday and then I have a race to time on Saturday.  Sir Randall is supposed to be gracing us with a visit as well this weekend so I really no longer have the time to be sick.

Since I changed my mom’s address to be my address after she passed away I still regularly get her mail.  I am still tying up loose ends, notifying companies that she only dealt with sparingly about her death.  Yesterday I opened a piece of mail that left me sitting in my chair with a blank stare for a few moments.  It was a letter from the hospice company that was involved with my grandmother before she passed away.

The letter was a notification to my mom that the complimentary 13 months of grief counseling services, which of course mom never utilized, were now expired.  Reading it made me think about my grandmother passing away, my mom’s reaction to it and the bitter irony of it all.

Grief counseling services of course were offered to my family as well after mom’s death and of course utilizing them did not enter my mind for even a millisecond.  I am sure in many situations, depending on the individual, grief counseling can without a doubt be a good thing.  I just know that in my individual sphere of consciousness it isn’t a service that would help me anymore than the self analysis I always do.