The current state of reality

So my waking hours have been pretty different since developing Bell’s Palsy over the weekend mysteriously.  The deadening affect on the right side of my face has me conscious of looking stroked out.  When I blink, even though it feels like my right eye is closing, it doesn’t.  A weird side effect is my left eye appears to be blinking slower than normal as well.  If I try to smile you can really see the affects, things just don’t move.  My sense of taste is affected, certain food and drink taste differently and not in a good way.  My lips can no longer be trusted to reliably drink without thought.  I need to be very careful and deliberate when drinking or I will end up wearing it.

The most irritating and problematic part of this condition so far is the eye.  Since it no longer closes when blinking, the eye needs constant attention with drops and me holding it closed for periods of time.  Even with doing so, by the end of the day last night I was miserable.  The right eye was super painful, red and the only real relief I got was when I closed both eyes. I have an eye patch but it doesn’t help all that much because it still does not make the right eye close, it’s still open just looking at the back of the patch.

I think my eye situation is made worse by the fact that I always have had some sort of cross wiring in my head that does not allow me to close the right eye independently of my left.  I can not wink with my right eye, only the left.  It’s always been that way.  That lack of existing function paired with the BP is an unfun duo.  My only choice is to just keep hitting that eye with good eye lube that Cindy bought for me and continue to just half grin and bear it.

The prednisone I am on has it’s own fun side effects.  It has a tendency to lock up your intestinal track and it seems like my sleep sort of sucks.  This morning I woke up at 4AM and stayed that way until the alarm went off at 6.  The ONLY positive I can come up with is it felt like the steroid, despite only being on it for a couple days gave me a bizarre strength boost at the gym.  I did my highest smith machine bench press ever at Planet Fitness and I probably would have gone for more if my buddy was there to spot me.

Each morning when I wake up I look in the mirror and try to smile to see if there is any change.  So far there hasn’t been but hopefully that morning is coming, soon.