Archives December 2021

Last night I arranged with Katie to come over to their place for a visit.  Elsa was confused why I was corralling her into the truck after dark but once we arrived at the house the confusion was replaced with excitement.  When the door opened it was a dog tidal wave as Bowser and Tank came charging out as the same time as Elsa was trying to charge in.  DJ was also at the door looking very excited, I knelt down and gave him a hug, it was great.

We had a very action packed visit of close to three hours.  Most of it was spent playing with various toys or being led around the house but there were also some very sweet and still moments when DJ brought over his blanket laid on me like a human recliner, covering both of us up while we watched some cartoon.  I also got to see baby Emmy who seems to like spending most of her time sleeping on Katie’s shoulder.  Elsa had 100x more stimulation than she is used to between the dogs and DJ, you could tell she was having fun.

When I headed out DJ wasn’t happy but he didn’t cry which was good.  I told him I would see him again soon, whether that is at my house or theirs doesn’t really matter to me.  It was great to hang with my little buddy and I look forward to doing it more regularly in 2022. I just never get tired of hearing “love you Pop Pop…”

I stumbled across my old Google Photos albums the other day.  In there was the album from the epic Grand Canyon road trip I took with Cindy back in 2013, it was possibly the most memorable of the many adventures we had.  My mind drifted to a comparison of the hike we did to the bottom of the canyon and back up in 9 hours and my current state of being.  Specifically how I felt at the bottom of the canyon, exhausted from the hike thus far, lying on top of a picnic table, looking at the top rim of the canyon, miles above me.

I recall the feeling of knowing that I had to get back to the top, despite feeling like my gas tank was already 3/4 empty.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it.  I rested a bit, and then we climbed, slow and steady. At times it was literally focusing on just placing one foot in front of the other for another step.  The end result was accomplishing my goal, doing the hard thing, knowing the power would come, somehow. At the end of 2021 I am at the bottom of that canyon, I have gone through a lot but still looking up at a long climb.  By this time next year I hope to be looking down on where I came from.

Happy New Year to you.  If you have nothing better to do with your life tonight, come watch me get drunk on a live stream.

Last night I decided to make my first Hello Fresh meal.  I took my instruction card, bag of ingredients and got busy.  It did not take long for me to realize this was way more time consuming than I was prepared for.  I got to do food prep work that I never have done before like peeling and dicing onions, chopping parsley, making homemade croutons and more.  The skills required were not monumental but I don’t think I was very good at them.

I kept double and triple checking the instructions which made me very inefficient in the prep process.  I also was making a large mess along the way which I guess should be expected.  The meal was listed as taking something like 25 minutes.  I think it took me more like 45 minutes.  The end result I guess looked ok and it didn’t taste that bad so that is what matters.  However there was zero thought that this is how I want my meal prep to be in the future.  Cooking from scratch is really enjoyable for some people, it is not for me.  Once these three meals are made I will be back to my mostly microwaved cuisine.

I decided I am going to spend the majority of my New Year’s Eve like I did Christmas Eve, live streaming. It’s cheap, I can drink without driving, I can be social without covid concerns, and I get to hang with Elsa.  Sounds like a win to me.

So I had ANOTHER box of food delivered yesterday.  This was from Hello Fresh.  My sister recently signed up for the service and sent me a promo code which allowed me to get 3 meals for just the cost of shipping.  After placing the order I immediately cancelled the service.  They send all of the ingredients and simple instructions to make the food, the issue for me is I don’t want to spend 25-45 minutes on food prep most evenings so it won’t be a good fit for me.  I will make what I have of course and enjoy it I’m sure.

Last night I had another mostly screw off night.  After eating dinner I was in WoW and then messed around more with my Nintendo Switch in bed.  I played my buddy in Smash Brothers, a game I am awful at because I have no idea how to play.  My buddy toyed with me, beating me soundly in all 7 or 8 matches.  I will need to do some homework if I want to be anything other than a noob in the game.  I also played Diablo on the Switch, a very dark game but very fun as well.  I need to dig out my glasses though as I can’t see some of the menus when I am laying in bed playing it.

On Christmas Eve Tesla gave owners a present, releasing OS 11.0 which is a complete UI revamp.  I have to figure out where certain things are again.  They also added some new tricks.  This is my favorite.

I was sad to hear John Madden died yesterday.  I thought the timing was bizarre as a big documentary about him was released on Christmas Day, which I heard was great. (didn’t see it) To have him pass a couple days after it aired seemed like very sadly ironic timing.  John was a staple of my football experience for twenty years or more.  Hell he was a staple of my video game life as well.  Madden football was something I played endless hours of for many, many years.  He made it to 85 so he had a long run, thanks for the memories John.

Early in the day Monday I got a Fedex tracking notice that a package from Omaha Steaks was coming. Say what?  I had no idea what it could be other than, steak?  Was someone pranking me?  Well as promised a big insulated chest showed up late in the afternoon, however I saw the packing list was all non-meat items along with several deserts.  The card revealed this was from my dad and Teresa, a unique and useful gift. I had just loaded up on Trader Joe’s frozen meals on Friday so I had to do some very creative rearranging in my freezer to make room but I got it all in there.  I made the butternut squash risotto last night.  It was quite good.

As predicted my Monday was low key.  I played WoW, getting another character to max level and starting leveling another.  I watched some tv and also played with my Switch, which I have set up in the bedroom.  It was nothing productive but it felt kind of nice to not be that way, at least for a short while. Oh wait, I forgot I did sand and repaint the AC intake grate in the bedroom.  It looked like at some point something corrosive was sprayed on it which made it start to rust.  It looks much better now.

So I figured I would get the end of year wrap up knocked out, sure there are a few days left in 2021 but I think the story has already been written.  It goes without saying that the script on the year was officially flipped, with future plans being crumpled up and tossed away.  Let’s see what I HOPED would happen in 2021.

I had hopes to do a road trip in 2021.  I did actually wind up driving out to Texas and back on Thanksgiving to visit my sister’s family, so I guess I can mark that as complete.

My physical goals were to not get hurt, more.  My lower back continued to be my biggest pain point in 2021.  I gave up running for road biking and it seems to be a smart move.  I have actually dropped 6-7lbs since Cindy moved out which I have wanted to do for awhile anyway.

None of the potential major projects I listed happened like window replacement, pool repairs, fence post replacement, or house paint. I suck.

I hoped the 3D store would continue to grow as well as content creation. I also wanted to emphasize paying down debt.  Unfortunately the opposite has happened.  Additional competition with 3D printed EUC parts providers has dramatically cut down on my store sales, I have not run numbers but I would not be surprised if I make half of what I made last year on the store.  My YouTube numbers have continued to edge upwards but not the type of growth I would like.  I have been knocking down debt at a decent clip which I wall talk more about later.

I hoped that Joe Biden era would wash away the toxic Trumpism.  Unfortunately it has not and the cult mentality is still strong in America.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not thrilled with what Joe has done and some of it I flat out disagree with (ie. vax mandates).  The bottom line is I will take it over the Trump era any day.

I wrapped up my hopes with gratitude for having “a partner in life that loves and supports me the best she can”.  Well there is a lot I could dig into there but let’s just say that didn’t work out, either. It’s been the biggest change in my life direction in the last almost 9 years.

Ok so let me examine the past year some more.

Let’s talk about my automotive roller coaster in 2021.  There has been a bunch of changes in my four wheeled universe.  I did some more work on the Prius that I gave to Katie a couple years prior, fixing the headlights for like the fourth time.  Unfortunately the car had other problems that made her not want to drive it much.  She wound up selling it for cheap.  The thing had something like 235,000 miles on it when it was let go, the most miles of any vehicle I ever owned.

My 2021 Tesla ownership saga was pretty freaking crazy with me buying not one but TWO Model Y’s.  The first one was a base model where I lucked into a three day 2K discount, allowing me to buy one for less than I paid for my Model 3, because I opted for no FSD.  It was a great car, but I sold it after only four months. Why? Because I was able go sell the car outright to Vroom for 10K more than the base price because of the insane used car price escalation. The Vroom selling process was frustrating at times, especially when it came to confirming the loan on the Model 3 was paid off but in the end it worked out.  I used the net profit on the sale to fund a NEW Model Y, the long range model with dual motors.  It was a once in a lifetime series of good luck for me that I doubt will ever repeat in the future.  I love my Tesla(s).

I had my second colonoscopy in the spring. There was some advantage to doing it a second time, I was able to get through the awful prep a little easier and the results of the probing was better, giving me 5 a year respite this time instead of 3 years.

My PEV collection morphed in 2021. I sold my One Wheel Pint, Kingsong S18 and Kingsong 16X.  I added an Inmotion V12 and a used Ninebot Z10.  Most weeks I still struggle to find time to ride more than once a week.  I still love riding and love making videos about riding, I just don’t get to participate as often as I would like.

Although there weren’t any major home improvements there were a number of minor ones, mostly initiated by Cindy, she created or redid several landscape features, filling them mostly with succulents.  We also bought/planted a guava tree in the front yard.  The new areas look nice but in the end I have hard time focusing on their pleasant visual and instead being annoyed it is something additional for me to weed/maintain. She also redid the garden area with my help.  It was cut in size by almost a half but had three large raised beds installed. I also laid something like 7 pallets of bahia sod myself in the front/side yard.  It was one of the more miserable tasks I have taken on recently.

I remember thinking at the end of 2020 that at least covid would fade away in 2021.  When I got my moderna vaccinations in April I looked forward to a return to somewhat normalcy.  To a degree that happened, especially in Florida but the covid fear train never got derailed.  The promise the vaccination meant your risk of developing covid was near zero was a falsehood that when wrapped with other falsehoods really has shifted my viewpoint on the entire ordeal.  I have not gotten a booster and don’t plan to unless there is some other objective I have that would need it.  I wonder how many more variants we have to look forward to in 2022.  Omicron appears to be spreading like mad, the good news it it appears to be less severe in consequences.

I had one major household repair, the AC air handler.  The main coil sprung a leak and I opted to replace it than try to patch it.  I am not sure how long the leak was going on but I am guessing for awhile, causing the unit to be inefficient in cooling, resulting in longer run times.  The reason I say this is once it was repaired I noticed a pretty significant decrease in house power consumption.

While we are talking power, the whole house solar system came much closer to delivering what I hoped for when it was installed, providing fully for the houses electrical needs.  In 2020 I was unhappy that I paid for something like 5500 kilowatt hours of AC.  So far in 2021 it looks like I have only paid for 700 kilowatt hours.  The difference I think is less usage.  Between getting the AC fixed, less 3D printing, and only having one person in the household since September, my numbers are approaching break even.  I anticipate getting there in 2022.

In addition to the road trip to Texas, I forgot Cindy and I also took the Tesla to Cape Canaveral in June for a long weekend to see the space center and surrounding area.  At the time I thought it was a precursor to getting back to the full 10-14 day road trips we used to take.  It was an enjoyable experience for me as I continue to be fascinated by everything and anything space related, even to this day.

I sold one of my two investment properties in Lehigh Acres which has sat like an albatross around my neck since 2003.  It’s funny how “only” losing around 40% of what I paid seems like a win nowadays.  I applied the money to the home equity loan I used to pay for it nearly two decades ago, the only remaining debt I owe on the house.

I am down to four remaining chicks in my flock.  In 2021 I had the emotionally brutal task of deciding to have Cupcake put down.  She had developed some sort of awful infection in her belly.  The vet thought perhaps she had an egg break inside of her.  The end result was her gut being swollen beyond belief.  I spent several hundred dollars to determine that spending a couple thousand dollars more for exploratory surgery that likely would not change the end result would be a waste of resources.  Telling the vet to put her down was awful for me.  Up until that point Cupcake was one of the few chickens that never had a serious health issue at all.  She was always happy and by my side, looking for whatever treats I could give her.  Of the four remaining birds, only Fiona appears to be 100% healthy.  Kathy and Popcorn seem to have eternal diarrhea, despite  my repeated attempts to treat them for worms.  Cutie has bad legs that make it hard for her to walk.  I pick her up and transport her whenever I can.  Once these hens pass on my days as a chicken farmer will officially be at their end.

Sadie has been declining as well.  Her weight gain over the covid lockdown period appeared to have a direct correlation with her joint issues.  Recently Ali started taking her to physical therapy which seems to be helping some.  Ali sold her place and moved into a one bedroom apartment temporarily so there is next to no inside exercise for Sadie, it all has to be gotten outdoors for the most part.  Since the place Ali moved to is further away I have not had Sadie over to the house nearly as much which I feel badly about.

While talking about loss, I attended the memorial from one of the guys in the running club.  He died from cancer.  He was one of those guys that was all about good energy, he had a smile for everyone.  Even though I only saw him once or twice since I left the running club I felt I needed to go to honor his memory.  It was sad but an appropriately upbeat tribute to a man that had such a positive impact on so many people’s lives.

Katie giving birth to her second child Emily in November was a 2021 big life event that I was mostly on the outside of because of what is talked about next.

Ok so although I could talk more in detail about other events of the past year, obviously the mutual decision Cindy and I made to end our relationship overshadows anything else in the last 365 days.  This decision was difficult as you can imagine and we made it saying we both wanted to remain friends and hope for happiness for the other down the road.  That is the understanding I have been working under since the split.

I am very much a person that is most comfortable in a relationship.  I love the feeling of having a partner you can count on to have your back, to be your support when needed, to share experiences with.  Because of that trait, I have been in one long term relationship or another almost non-stop my entire adult life.  This desire also can be to my detriment clearly, if you look back at some stuff that has gone down.  Even though we weren’t officially married, Cindy and I lived as a married couple for 8 years and I see the end of the relationship congruent with a third failed marriage.  Because of that, I think it has been important for me to really think about why this is and what can be done to avoid the scenario in the future.

Adjusting to living alone has been challenging in so many ways.  The sudden waves of sadness and other emotions that roll in and out routinely are tough to manage.  I am working on building emotional “breakers” to hopefully make this less impactful as time moves on.  Managing the household has become more oppressive but that will always be the case when the workforce gets cut in half.  It’s gotten to the point where for the first time in my life I am considering scenarios involving selling the house I had built and lived in for 21 years.  I have always been most comfortable working inside of routines and known guidelines.  A situation like this removes a lot of what I used to count on as a constant.  The adjustment has been challenging this year and will continue to be so into the future.

So yea I thought 2020 sucked, turns out 2021 sucked more, something I did not think was possible.  So I’ll try to come up with 2022 guidance.

Do I have any home improvements in mind?  The same ones I listed last year are still on the table although I don’t feel pressed to do any of them. It would be great if I can continue to pay down debt as I try to align with retirement that is now close to 8 years away.  Selling that other property would be a nice bonus.

Fitness goals are really just about trying to slow the decline which is inevitable.  Road biking is a nice way to try to push my cardio without the pounding of running.  I would actually like to see if I can get my body weight a few lbs lower yet while maintaining whatever strength levels I still have.

Travel plans are always a possibility.  I would love to finally get out to California to hang with some of my virtual EUC friends that I have communicated with for years.  Another conventional road trip may happen to see either the PA or Texas branch of my family.

There looks to be a change in my job responsibilities coming in my department in 2022 which would see me taking over due to retirement of my longtime buddy who happens to be in charge.  It shouldn’t be a drastic change from what I do now but it will definitely be a little different.

My relationship status in 2022 will be an absolute wildcard.  My experience doing mostly online dating the last time I was single makes me very hesitant to go that route again.  I think I would much rather have something happen organically, if it happens at all.  Maybe I will be single this time next year as well.  If I am, at least I hopefully am better adjusted to that reality.

Sorry for the mostly negative report card for the year.  Being fake with my feelings isn’t something I am very adept at.  My hope is next year at this time I can clearly identify that this was the bottom and the path ahead once again has bright skies, trusted friends, and opportunities taken.

After work on Thursday I found myself unmotivated to prepare supper.  The idea entered my head to try out Uber Eats.  You may recall I tried it during my road trip to Texas but my order was not completed due to it being Thanksgiving.  I looked at my options and settled on shrimp tacos from Chili’s.  It said it would take roughly an hour to get to me which was ok.  The final price is high of course as you are paying for convenience.  I also submitted a 25% tip for the Uber guy since it was the holidays.  My food needed to be reheated in the microwave but it tasted good otherwise.  I will definitely lean on Uber Eats once in awhile in the future.

Christmas Eve I went out with Elsa to three different stores to get groceries, Trader Joe’s, Sam’s Club, and Publix.  Ironically the amount of frustration scaled with each stop.  Publix was a madhouse with no carts available so I just stuffed what I needed in one of the hand baskets.  It was loaded to the point of spilling over.  I did actually decide to mask up in all three establishments.  I figure big crowds indoors with Omicron going nuts, masking was a small sacrifice to make.

My afternoon was spent doing something that most of the country would find bizarre, mowing grass.  It is an odd thing to do the day before Christmas in most places, but not here.  I mowed the back yard as well as the areas right around the outside of the fence perimeter.  Doing it now means I am likely good to go for the next month or two.

I spent my Christmas Eve again doing something unique, live streaming.  Never have I streamed on a holiday but I had nothing else going on so I figured why not.  I announced the stream only a few hours prior to going on.  A decent amount of people showed up, I guess others have similar lack of things to do on Christmas Eve.  I streamed incredibly long, over four hours.  I technically streamed on Christmas as well since I didn’t run off the camera until close to 12:30 AM.  The stream had more non-PEV talk in it than PEV, a rarity.  The five White Claw’s I drank during the broadcast kept my lips moving.

So I have been sort of dreading Christmas, the first time in my life I recall ever feeling this way.  During the live stream I described how this was the first time in my life I ever felt truly alone at Christmas.  I have been in non-stop long term relationships as an adult and the Christmas I was single I still had my mom over so it wasn’t that bad.  This year I had no family local and I had uncertainty over Katie, Daniel, DJ, or Cindy coming over.  Nothing was rock solid and that made me sad.

I made no effort to get up early.  When Elsa and I did get up I headed out to do normal Saturday chicken coop cleaning, trying to give the hens a few extra treats for the holiday.  Once I came back inside it was sort of like any other day.  I had presents sent to me by my family as well as the couple things I bought myself but I felt no real desire to open them.  Around mid-morning I got a message from Katie that her, Daniel and DJ were coming over, Cindy opted to stay and watch baby Emily, which was fine but still made me feel a bit sad.

As we were getting close to them showing up I had weird emotions going through my head.  A couple times I found myself with tears in my eyes for no clearly defined reason. I guess I was thinking back to the Christmas’s when my parents were freshly split/divorcing and finding parallels that made me sad.  I decided to take a walk in the backyard and do some busy work to try to get my head cleared.  The last thing I wanted to do was seem sad when DJ arrived.

When they pulled up I couldn’t help but laugh when DJ walked up to the front door still in his pajamas, it was very cute. He gave me a hug and said “love you pop pop”, something he said many times during the visit.  It was the first time I had seen Daniel in a long time, I appreciated him being there.  Of course I gave Katie a big hug as well.  Before opening presents we just hung and talked for a bit.  I sort of felt bad I didn’t have any refreshments to offer them other than the Publix sugar cookies I had on the counter.  At one point I was going to make coffee but realized I don’t have the raw materials to do so.

So I had a large pile of presents, probably 75% of them were for DJ.  DJ is funny, when you tell him to open presents, he is very delicate while doing so and often prefers if an adult just does it for him.  He gets excited though as whatever is underneath is revealed.  I got him a lot of toy car/truck items which he wanted to immediately unbox and play with.  I did a lot of Etsy shopping this year, buying customized gifts for Katie, Daniel and baby Emmy.  The one gift I got Katie made her cry, which almost made me cry, something I really was trying to avoid.

DJ’s final present was a big riding pedal car.  He wanted to open that as well but since it had to be assembled we convinced him it should stay in the box.  DJ liked opening presents so much I decided it was a good time for me to open my presents.  He seemed to still be excited even though they were pop pop gifts.  It was fun.

After opening all the stuff the three of them hung around for awhile.  We walked the back yard while DJ had an armful of monster trucks in hand.  It was just a simple moment of togetherness that I haven’t had much of in the last four months.  It was really nice. Eventually they had to load up the truck as they had other stops to make yet during the day.  I recalled those days in PA when Christmas meant going to three or four different locations throughout the day.  I handed the kids the few gifts I had gotten for Cindy as well, a very weird moment in more ways than one.

DJ gave me a hug and told me he loved me a few more times before they pulled out.  I thanked Daniel and Katie for coming, it pulled what was sort of a nosedive Christmas back into something that at least had some smiles and warm memories associated with it.  We all agreed to play it by ear from this point forward but I think it’s clear we all would like to stay connected as time marches forward.

Cleaning up from the Christmas visit was easy compared to years past.  I had things back to normal in less than 30 minutes.  During the afternoon I decided I would make up for the Friday ride I forgot to take on my road bike.  I did the 10 miles in the surprisingly warm temps, in the low 80’s.  I thought the forecast I saw for Christmas day was a lot cooler a few days prior.

Christmas night I settled in to watch the new Matrix movie on HBO Max.  I am a long time Matrix fan but was already sad to hear that others that saw the movie had the same general report, it sort of sucks.  Regardless I had to see it myself.  I was sleepy going in from the late night of streaming.  It caused me to doze off a few times but I really don’t think it would have mattered if I slammed 4 cups of coffee instead.  The movie was weird and confusing, much like I remembered Matrix 3 being.  I liked seeing everyone back together but not being able to have sound understanding of the plot was really a negative.  I have to give it a B-.  I am glad it was included in my HBO Max subscription.  If I paid movie theater prices to see it I may be slightly more bitter.

My Sunday was very low key for me.  After completing my chores I did a lot of whatever I wanted to do whether that be play some WoW, set up my new Nintendo Switch, go for a ride to Dunkin Donuts or watch a movie, I did all four.

The movie I watched was Don’t Look Up, a new release on Netflix. In a nutshell the plot is the world is going to end due to an incoming comet.  The movie was satirical but also a painfully true account of just how fcked up we are as a society. It made me laugh and cringe at the same time as I realized that much of the ridiculous behavior portrayed is actually on point with American society in 2021.  To me it came off as a modern day Idiocracy.  You really should check it out, I’d give it an A.

I am enjoying my last day off today, Monday.  I already ran some errands and filmed a short video about the week long print I was attempting, that failed, but in the end was actually a success.  It sounds confusing but the video explains.

The rest of my day is likely to follow a similar path as yesterday.  I am not looking to fill the hours with chores. I will do whatever I feel like, and try to not feel guilty about it.

Last night when I got home I was evaluating if I wanted to go ride around Victoria Park or wait until Thursday night.  Trying to do it Christmas Eve would have been suicidal, or so I thought.  The temp last night was chilly, about 60 but was only forecast to be colder on subsequent days so I concluded I needed to do it last night, if I was going to do it all.  I threw my camera gear, Z10 and helmet in the truck and headed there around 6:45 or so.  I had heard from others that went to VP on a weeknight last week it was crowded as hell.  I hoped I could avoid the same situation.

I parked at the same spot as I always do by a nearby shopping center, somewhere around a mile away from the development.   As I approached the first of two entrances there was a solid line of cars that started to spill out onto the main roadway, I knew what I was in for.

The hundreds of cars made navigation on the Z10 treacherous.  I kept my head on a swivel as I alternated between road, sidewalk and grass as Victoria Park has a number of narrow streets with no sidewalk.  With it being that busy it wasn’t easy for me to take in everything as fully as I would have liked as maintaining my safety was the primary concern.  As is normally the case I got a lot of comments on what I was riding.  I also had a bunch of cute kids hanging out windows wishing me Merry Christmas, which warmed my heart, despite the chilly air.  There were also a ton of residents out in the yard hanging out around fire pits.  I think living there would be sort of awesome, it seems like such a special community.

I get lost circling in there and I doubt I saw everything.  In total I spent maybe an hour taking everything in.  It is sort of visual overload, almost every single house has an impressive display. They all sort of blur together after awhile.  When I finally left, the line of cars waiting to get into VP had swelled tremendously, easily stretching a half mile or more onto Airport Road.  I had been there before when it was busy, but I don’t recall THIS level, maybe my memory just is not clear.  As I pulled back into the driveway I was at least glad I made the effort to go see the Xmas lights, even if it was my first time ever doing it solo.

I know I have talked about this before, multiple times.  Whenever Christmas rolls around my mind always drifts back to my favorite memories, especially Christmas Eve.  I am guesstimating I was somewhere around 10 or 11.  On Christmas Eve my mom would make a big meal for the family, it was all family on my Mom’s side.  It would include my grandfather, grandmother, great grandmother, great aunt, and my Uncle Randy as the core group.  I seem to remember there was a couple years where my cousins, Steve and Jen, uncle Butch and aunt Stephanie were part of it as well, I may be wrong about that.

Anyway despite my general avoidance of formal sit down meal situations as an adult, I hold onto the feelings and memories of sitting around that large octagon shaped table with my family.  We also would normally score a few simple presents that night that felt like a warm up for the big day.  As I grew older and moved into adulthood there have been tons of memorable Christmas holidays. Although of course the scenarios were much different I still appreciated them all, but none as much as those days, four and a half decades ago when life was simple, clean, and full of wonder. Unfortunately I am not expecting much magic out of my 2021 version of Christmas but hopefully it gives me something to move upward from in years to come.  If you are reading this, I appreciate you, and I hope you have a great holiday. I will see you on the other side, peace.

I have had a packed couple days as I have been juggling multiple aspects of getting our new huge office building ready for business.  Yesterday morning I had a line of people at my door as I was on the phone as well.  I am fortunate that these sort of situations only occur sporadically instead of being an everyday thing.  There were a number of things that got handled on the fly but in the end the systems are up and running as they need to be although there will be many more challenges to address and logistics to manage before the building opens sometime next month.

This print I started on Sunday is taking forever.  This model was already on the memory card from before.  I must have tried printing the massive village before and it failed. Well I didn’t look at the parameters for the print before this attempt. It looks like I have a much higher infill amount than I should for something this big.  The end result is now going on four days in I had not cracked the 40% mark in overall completion yet.  The print may consume two full rolls of filament, or more, if it completes.  Despite the marathon amount of time this is taking, if it actually completes 100% the model will take the crown for the longest 3D print I have ever completed.

I may go to Victoria Park tonight to roll around and check things out.  I will be bundling up if I do, a cold front blew through yesterday that has dropped the temp significantly in the last 24 hours.  I’m not complaining though, cold air and Christmas go together.

I entered the final weekend before Christmas with lots to do but I wanted to get my ass back on the road bike again. It had been somewhere around a month since I had been able to do my 10 mile darkness ride.  This was the first time I got to use my new handlebar mounted headlight.  It worked great, throwing a sizeable circle of light far enough ahead of me that I felt able to go at my normal 16-17 MPH pace without much trouble.  I could definitely tell my body was re acclimating itself to the activity but my numbers at the end were decent, despite the break.

On Saturday my main focus was to get the property cleaned up.  Even though the grass has grown very little in the last month it was looking pretty ratty.  I spent all afternoon out there, weed whacking followed by mowing.  The visual was much improved afterward and I felt good knowing I should be good to go until the new year rolls around at least.

I sat out a very late addition to my Christmas decorations, LED color pucks.  These were an impulse buy I did off a FB ad several weeks ago.  I was skeptical if they would even show up.  They are solar powered and have a cool looking ring of multicolor LEDS that you can change as you see fit.  For Xmas I made alternating red and green of course but once the holiday is over I can deploy these elsewhere using whatever color scheme I prefer.  I like them.

My Saturday evening was uneventful.  I had minimal appetite and no motivation to do conventional food prep.  My dinner consisted of a PB sandwich and not much else.  I still am getting nauseous doing my egg prep as well in the mornings.  It’s getting to the point that I might just stop eating them altogether.

I got to lose myself in WoW for awhile Saturday evening.  I have accomplished my first goal of getting all of my characters on my first account to max level.  I am now working getting the three additional characters on my second account to that same level as well.  This has been a dumb goal of mine I have accomplished in every WoW expansion that has come out since 2005.  For some reason I feel obligated to get these bits and bytes to their virtual pinnacle. Not doing so would feel like shirking of responsibility, something that I have a hard time doing in real or virtual situations.  I am hoping that within a month the task will be completed.

On Sunday morning I started a HUGE print on the Chiron that if successful will take over a week to complete.  This is basically a torture test to see just how effective the new wiring harness I bought is at solving the random lock up issue.  I have a camera on the print doing a time lapse which should look pretty cool if it completes.

I have fallen off of doing 3D printing for fun, for me.  The overwhelming majority of my printing has been stuff for the store for a long time.  Since the order flow on the store has really slowed I have printers just sitting there doing nothing.  I might as well make something fun for me.  This Chiron print is a Christmas village that I have printed before but never in this massive scale.

I bought a ticket for a 12:00 matinee to see the new Spiderman movie.  This is only the second movie I have seen in a theater since covid became a household word and the first time I have gone to a movie alone since I was last single as Cindy actually went with me to see The Eternals.  I decided to go back to our old stomping grounds, the Prado in Bonita.  There was a time when we were going to the movies almost every week.

The last time I was there, the building I was parked in front of was getting ready to open as another Beef o Brady’s restaurant.  I was surprised to see a For Lease sign in the window.  I was even more surprised to see the remnant stickers on the window indicate it was most recently some sort of other business.  So in the span of less than two years two businesses started and failed in that spot, wow.

I had not had lunch so I ordered a flat bread pizza that I ate in my seat in the top corner of the theater.  There may have been 20ish people there, not many at all for a new Spiderman but they were also showing the film every 30 minutes.  I am a huge Spiderman fan and had seen all of the movies, enjoying some more than others but I would never miss one.  Seeing all of the previous films made me appreciate this version even more, I loved it.  It hit all of the action quota you could want with the normal amounts of comedic relief as well as some real emotional moments that hit hard.  Despite enjoying the hell out of the movie I found myself instinctively looking to my side, what I would always do to see Cindy’s reaction at certain moments.  When I saw the empty seat it made me sad, repeatedly.  I won’t spoil anything for you but just trust me, if you saw the other Spidermans, you must see this one, A+ for me.  The better news is the new Matrix releases this week on HBO Max, another film I am really looking forward to.

When I got home I wasted little time before I threw on my gear and headed out for a short ride.  There were some big things announced in the EUC world this week and in general I just needed to clear my head.  Being out on a ride is a good way to realign perspective although I still have a lot of things I am trying to deal with right now, none of which have a quick or easy solution.

I have officially concluded my Christmas shopping for 2021.  It has been a very different sort of holiday season and I expect that trend to continue in spades in 2022.

I remember when my parents split up, I don’t recall if the divorce was final or if still in the works when this incident occurred.  It was Christmas and we had just finished up with our visit with my dad.  Back then I don’t think any of the kids looked forward to visits with dad, he was very up and down as a result of the split which was due to infidelity, according to my mom.  There were times when he was just so sad it was unbearable to be around him.  As a 12 or 13 year old it was tough to fully understand the depth of feeling/hurt involved when two people end a long relationship.

So anyway we had just gotten in my mom’s car.  My dad signaled for us to wait.  He suddenly grabbed some additional presents from his car and handed them to us through the window.  When asked, he said they were from the woman he was seeing, she evidently bought us presents.  Without a moment’s hesitation my mom grabbed the wrapped gifts and threw them in the street. As she sped away I recall looking back at my dad picking up the discarded presents from the ground.  That moment in time and the emotion surrounding it has been burned into my mind ever since, obviously.

As an adult I have had opportunities to deal with both sides of this scenario which have given me a greater understanding of the dynamics involved in failed relationships. Unfortunately that experience still does not dull the edge when you get cut upon repeatedly. Only the passing of time and transitioning to the next chapter in life can do that.

Yes today is my birthday but the only thing BIG about it is the number, 54.  It certainly has no correlation to my personal feelings about my birthday as I typically lament the passing of each and every year instead of celebrating it.  I know I probably say this every year in the blog but only because it is true.

It just seems so weird to be saying out loud that I am this age, an age I can very clearly remember my parents being and recalling that it did not seem all that long ago.   I remember thinking someone in their 50s was basically a senior citizen in my youth.  I remember 15 years ago a guy doing service at my house saying that once you turn 50, every year is a dog year.  I remember thinking that was a funny statement at that time.  I have now discovered that it is also a very truthful statement.

Obviously this has been a very different year for me, the most different in nearly a decade.  I am anticipating the next revolution around the sun to bring with it more change than I have experienced in quite awhile.