Archives February 2022

We had some light rain yesterday on my way into work.  The Tesla was already dirty, the light rain kicked up another layer of filth on the car.  When I got home I did a speed wash of the car.  I have a certain dirt tolerance level.  Once it is exceeded action must be taken. I was able to get the grime cleaned up in less than 20 minutes, time well spent in my book.

So I had a HP laptop getting delivered yesterday.  I bought it on Amazon.  I had the Fedex tracking info.  I saw the Ring notification that the truck was there late in the afternoon so I assumed I would be coming home to the laptop sitting at my front door.  Instead I came home to a FedEx sticker on my door stating that someone has to be present for the delivery.  I was fcking annoyed.  Nowhere in the tracking or the order confirmation did it state this requirement.  If I knew this I would have put a sign in the door directing the driver to get the signature at the neighbor next door. I was frustrated.

I was walking back from the chicken coop area when I see a guy by the fence.  It was the Fedex driver, with a box in his hand.  He said he had stopped earlier but no one was there.  He did his other deliveries off our street and when he came back my way he saw the car in the driveway so he stopped again, awesome.  I was very surprised by his out of box effort to get me my package.  I appreciated it big time and thanked him sincerely for coming back.  It’s so rare nowadays for people to go the extra mile, it really stands out when it happens.

After it got dark Shugs showed up with Sadie.  Ali and he are going away for the weekend so I am dog sitting.  I immediately noticed how much Sadie was struggling to simply walk.  I also noticed she looked like she put on a few pounds, something I didn’t notice when I was up at their place to see the house construction.  I had gotten some positive feedback from Ali about Sadie’s response to physical therapy but man, she is struggling.  Perhaps it is because I see Sadie far less often now because of two things, Ali and Shugs moving up to Fort Myers and Cindy and I splitting up which means no one is home with her during the day.

When someone is home during the day Sadie would always be up and down, following you around the house/outside.  With no human around I think a lot of laying around/sleeping goes on with little else.  This fact is also the reason I am making efforts to get out with Elsa and take her on formal walks more often.  I think she too is spending most of the day just doing nothing instead of interacting with someone.

The other major issue Sadie has is her mouth.  She has multiple teeth issues, the end result is an absolutely abhorrent smell coming from her mouth at times.  She is actually going in for oral surgery on Monday to have any teeth that are really bad extracted.  When I was in bed last night the entire room pretty much smelled of her breath.  Despite her issues she seems happy to just be part of the scene.  Of course I feel sad seeing the dog that used to run laps around Nicki become more or less geriatric herself.  Time is a cruel, cruel taskmaster.

I spent some time multitasking between watching tv and setting up the new laptop.  It comes preloaded with Windows 11, Microsoft’s latest OS.  I had not had any prior experience with it although I heard about some of the changes, most of which seemed pretty cosmetic.  The centered start button/menu feels foreign and my immediate reaction is I am not a fan however that could just be because of it’s orientation being different from every Windows OS since the 90’s.  I was able to play some Hearthstone on it while laying in bed with the olympics on, a good time.

For most of my life I have not been the type that likes to engage in long drawn out conversations, especially when emotions are involved.  The amount of people where I feel comfortable doing this with is very, very small.  It’s not a trait I am proud of, it’s just the way I am. I also am not the type of person that likes to ask for help, in any regard whether it be financial, medical, physical, or emotional.  I have always been of the shut up and deal with it mindset, again not the best way to be in the big picture. Yesterday I tried to step outside those natural boundaries I have made for myself.

One of the many benefits of my job is they include free wellness counseling, on top of conventional medical insurance.  It allows you no strings access to a team of counselors to talk to about countless issues/subjects.  Despite it being over 6 months since the end of our relationship I still have not felt “well” overall.  I thought it could possibly be helpful to talk to a professional about the situation and my feelings.  I had some anxiety about the session because of the things I outlined in the first paragraph.

I came out of the other side with some more clarity.  Some of the things talked about or suggested I already knew but it was helpful to hear them come from somewhere else than my inner thoughts.  I told him I am a lifelong “fixer” and people pleaser which I have talked about before.  These traits have up and down sides. Depending on who you are interacting with, fixers can be interpreted as negative or controlling. People pleasers routinely get taken advantage of, and come back asking for more.  A lot of the talk was about being able to let things be, to not assist unless asked, to not keep looking backwards.  He also stressed there is no defined time period until negative feelings subside, it takes however long it takes.  Everyone is ultimately responsible for how they react to situations so I need to make as much of an effort as I can to change my personal narrative, regardless of external influences.

I felt I got some of the clarity I was looking for out of the session and did not schedule a follow up. It’s good to know if I feel the need, I have that support available to me.

Last night I talked to (Sir)Randall on the phone for close to an hour which is probably a recent record in phone call length for me.  I filled him in on the latest and greatest in my life as well as made plans for him to come hang this weekend for the Superbowl.  Randall has not been to my place in a loooong time.  If my research is correct the last visit could span all the way back to December of 2017.  There is some backstory connected that I won’t delve into here but needless to say, that is far too long.

It should be a fun weekend.  I just bought a set of pickle ball racquets that we could put to use at the brand new courts at the park next door.  I assume he will bring his bike for us to get some miles in as well.  I can also see some Nintendo Switch competitions and substantial beer drinking going down in addition.  The Super Bowl will just be the icing on the cake.

One thing I have done a piss poor job of since moving to Florida is building a large network of real friends. The closest friends I have in Florida live on the other side of the state. I have always been the type that focused most of my time and energy into my partner when I am in a relationship which left sparse resources for much else.  It’s one of my many poor decisions I have made in life.  I am working towards rectifying it.

Friday after work I felt good enough to get my 10 mile ride in.  The knee that I hurt running on Wednesday didn’t seem to mind the physics of cycling much.  My pace was on par with recent rides.  The rest of the weekend my knee still felt sketchy and the lower right quadrant back pain was a near constant shadow.

On Saturday mornings one of my tasks is washing the bedding.  Almost without fail Elsa likes to try to sabotage these plans by jumping onto the middle of the bed and staying there, despite my efforts to strip the bed.  It’s almost like a fun game for her at this point.  She looks so cute it’s hard to get angry with her for doing it.

When I went around and did the weeding on Saturday I also had my machete in hand.  It was used to assist in cutting out things that were killed from the extreme cold. The biggest thing that got cut down were the half dozen banana trees.  There are a lot of other things that took damage that I did not pull, giving them a chance to see if they recover. I also got more of the left over stuff that Cindy used cleaned up.  There are still a few things I need to redeploy, curb or throw out.

I did a Costco run on Saturday.  The place was absolutely packed.  Even so checkout was probably less than 10 minutes, they definitely do whatever they can to keep that river of humanity flowing as quickly as possible.

Over the weekend I started reading the first volume of the blog exports my dad has been giving me for years.  I have read them sparingly but never completely.  This book covers 2002 and 2003 which is incredibly 20 years ago at this point.  As I read some of the entries I found myself cringing at certain points.  Things I put out there then I would never do nowadays, my thought patterns have definitely matured since that point of time.  I guess that’s hard to avoid over the span of two decades. I think back then I thought it was somehow cool to be harsh and mean.  I don’t view it as cool anymore.  It is interesting to have that time of my life brought back into focus.  For example back then I was very into invading Iraq and criticized anyone that thought otherwise.  Of course it turned out the big lie fooled a lot of people, myself included.  We will see if I can make it all the way through volume 1 without being overwhelmed by embarrassment or shame.

On Sunday I took Elsa to the park again.  There were a couple soccer games going on so there were a decent amount of people present.  Elsa was driving me nuts, pulling like a bull, for no apparent reason.  We cut the walk shorter than I would have liked.  I just wish I could get her to calm down in these situations but there is nothing I do or say that seems to help.

I took my V12 out for a top speed run, something I have never done on this wheel.  Taking a one wheeled balancing device to speeds over 40MPH is nerve wracking for sure.  I did gear up fully for the ride but if I would go down at these speeds bad things will happen, regardless.  I did four runs, topping out at 41.3 MPH on the last one, the second fastest speed I have done on any wheel.  Despite the V12 being a smaller 16 inch wheel it still felt stable at these very high speeds. The speed limit on these side streets is 30MPH so I technically was speeding.

The rest of my Sunday was pretty chill, I watched some Olympics, some HBO Max, edited video and had Cindy stop by to pick up her mail and a few other items.  It was the first time I saw her in person in a long time.  It felt strange for it to feel strange, if you know what I mean.

Well my knee that felt pretty terrible 24 hours ago has improved quite a bit since then, allowing me to walk limp free.  I will see if it continues to rebound.  I am sure the pain I am getting is meniscus related.  Sometimes something is loose and gets pinched, causing pain and inflammation.  However that same thing can relocate, allowing the knee to again become more functional.  I will be monitoring how the joint feels closely.  It definitely feels good enough for me to get another road bike session in tonight.

The two days of intense cold, by Florida standards, has swept a sheet of death across the property, green has been replaced by brown as the dominant color.  There are a few areas where I need to cut out the now dead plants/trees.  The banana trees got completely smoked but they always do when this happens.  The good news is even if I cut them to the ground new trees will start emerging within a few weeks.  There have been a number of other casualties in the yard. Years ago this would have caused me concern or stress.  Nowadays I have a survival of the fittest mentality about it.  If something is in the yard that gets killed by 35 degrees, it doesn’t need to be in the yard.

Outside of that task, everything else should be pretty standard fare.  I keep waking up each day hoping to magically have a bright, hopeful, and cheery outlook on life.  It hasn’t happened yet.

I headed to the track last night for my 3rd consecutive week. 24 hours earlier I assumed I was going to have to skip this week as I had sharp shooting pain in my lower right back for some unknown reason.  However when I woke up yesterday the pain was gone so I decided to hit the track.  I also had decided that I was going to increase the laps from 4 to 5, my plan for slow progression that would hopefully lead to being able to run a 5K again in March.

The run itself went ok.  I had seemingly normal levels of discomfort the first couple laps which went numb later.  I felt a little knee pain but again wrote it off to par for the course until my body warmed up more.  Running 5 laps didn’t feel more challenging really than four, I am sure if I had to, I could go longer.  After I ran I did my normal stretching, nothing felt particularly bad. However when I got home that changed.

My first sign was when I was trying to kick my sneakers off in the garage.  Trying to get the left shoe off sent discomfort through my left “good” knee.  It was mild but I could feel something was different than how I felt the previous two runs.  As last night progressed I could feel more soreness creeping into the knee, it was the deep seated variety, a sensation I am very familiar with.  It was starting to feel like it did when I injured myself running the parking garage two years ago. God damn it.

When I woke up this morning it was full on hurting, somewhat swollen and I was depressed.  It seems pretty clear that whatever took me out of commission two years ago with this same knee has flared back up after only three short running sessions on flat ground.  I’ll see how things go but I have read this book many times before, I know how it normally ends.  I am not happy.  Rebooting the act of running is good for me mentally.  Having it hit a brick wall so quickly is another reminder of the futility and frustration I have been feeling in many ways.

Yesterday I got a new Fire TV Cube.  I had one of the 1st generation cubes.  It had become really slow when loading streaming apps and would inexplicably burp back to the main menu in the middle of a show pretty regularly.  I bought a current gen cube as supposedly it has better hardware which equals better performance.  Hooking it up was easy as I could use the cable/cords from the old unit.  The difference in performance was indeed massive.   I had become so accustomed to an app taking 30 seconds or more to come up, when they were loading almost instantly it was a shock.  Responsiveness was like night night and day.  I was very happy with the purchase. Amazon has a trade in program for their old devices.  I was able to get $15 for the old unit in the form of a gift card, a win/win for me. It’s nice when something actually lives up to and even exceeds your expectations.  It doesn’t happen often.

Last night I had another extended session in VR.  I spent the majority of the time in Big Screen, it seems to be the one social app I have found where you can find a good number of adults consistently.  This is like the polar opposite of VR Chat where it is apparently filled with ADD riddled kids running around like maniacs non-stop.

So with adults come adult issues.  I found myself in a room labeled atheist bible discussion.  There were a few people in the room that dominated the discussion, which for the most part was civil and intelligent.  I was basically an observer.  The room was hosted by an atheist who was reasonable and clear in his points as were some of the christians in the room as well.  However at certain points things got heated and you would have three or four people talking loudly at once.  I eventually had to tap out but it was an interesting room to be a part of.

I then jumped into another chat, this was held on an outdoor balcony of a high rise building.  This was less civil as it was discussion/arguments between conservatives and liberals.  Again I just observed.  I was only ably to tolerate this chat for a short period of time before I headed out.  I exited the room thinking it was sad but not surprising that virtual reality mimics actual reality in regards to human behavior. I tried making my own room for a bit.  I only had one person enter, we talked for a bit but then I closed it down.

This morning as I was getting ready to go out to do the chickens I started the classic good morning stretch. You know the one where you extend your arms out to the side crucifix style, usually accompanied with a big yawn.  Well as I was extending my arms I got a sharp pain in my left shoulder blade that made me immediately retract my arms and wince in pain.  As I went outside with Elsa I told her how ridiculous it was that even stretching can hurt nowadays.

Last night when I was walking back from the chicken area I heard rustling in the nearby palm tree.  I looked up and see a squirrel looking down at me as he is munching on the remains of the ear of corn he clearly stole.  You may recall last week I mentioned how the corn cobs I was putting out for the chickens every morning were gone when I got home at night.  I was unclear if it was a squirrel or a bird. The answer is now crystal clear.  I don’t mind that they grab it, I just hope the chickens get their crack at the corn before it is transported elsewhere during the day.

I have two conventional cartridges for my Nintendo switch, they are tiny.  I have had the boxes for the games on my dresser as a dumb way to make sure I don’t lose them.  Last night I completed a 3D print to address that.  It’s a little cube that looks like the famous ? boxes from Mario games.  Inside there are slots for both cartridges and the micro sd cards that can be used for additional storage. Even though I have been 3D printing for years now I still get satisfaction for making something cool and useful, out of thin air.

This morning was around 10 degrees warmer than the previous two mornings, still cold by Florida standards but at least not freeze your hose cold.  The warming trend will continue with the thermometer hitting 80 by Thursday.  If I could just find a place that was 55 in the morning and 75 in the afternoon year round it would truly be the ultimate paradise for me.

Yesterday the new office officially opened to the public.  There were a lot of little bugs as expected but no show stoppers.  The entire project has been several years in the making, to have it finally open is a good feeling.  The majority of my focus the last several months has been getting everything lined up for this to happen. It has been the biggest building project I have ever been involved in and hopefully the last time I have to be involved with something of this scale before I retire in 8 years.