Full days, Empty spaces

The first weekend of my staycation was pretty full as you can imagine based on my long track record of wanting to crush my to do lists before getting around to the more fun stuff.  On Saturday morning after cleaning the coop and weeding the place Elsa and I headed out on a long errand run that had more than a half dozen stops and took damn close to four hours.  As I was unloading the truck I noticed I was missing the mower blades I bought from Lowes, damn it.  When I retraced my steps I knew I paid for them but I was pretty sure I just left the blades in the bottom of the shopping cart in the parking lot.  I figured I was screwed and I certainly wasn’t going to drive back there without knowing they were there.  I called up the store and was quite surprised that they did actually have the blades in their hand.  I picked them up later on my way to dinner.

I hopped on the tractor and mowed the back of the property which has now started to grow once again with the return of rain and warmer weather. I also knocked out another list item, rotating the tires on the Model Y.  I recently crossed 10,000 miles on the car which seems hard to believe that I am at that milestone already.  The process went smoothly although I was a sweaty, dirty mess by the end of it.

I wanted to continue my new tradition of heading to a restaurant bar for dinner Saturday night.  I decided to mix it up this time and figured I would go to what was my long time favorite restaurant, Carrabbas. I have not been there in at least two years thanks to Covid and the various direction changes in my life.  I thought despite it being Saturday night I could find a single seat at the bar to squeeze into. Wow, was I in for a shock.

I pulled into the lot around 7:15 which normally would be prime time.  I was astonished how empty the parking lot was.  I was accustomed to having to circle the lot looking for that one elusive open space.  I could have parked an RV in the lot and no one would have cared.  When I went inside the shock continued. MAYBE a third of the table were used, maybe 25%.  It felt like I was in an alternate universe.  The reality I used to be in had Carrabbas always full.  Going on a Saturday night meant you should expect a 60-90 minute wait.  I sat down at the bar which was empty except for one other couple having dinner.

I spent most of my time there in disbelief that this was what Carrabbas now was.  I asked the bartender if this is the new normal.  He said it slows down a lot after season.  Well I have been there plenty of times outside of season and it was never like this, not even close.  I tried to come up with why this may be.  Perhaps it’s still covid related although as far as I have seen most restaurants have been not impacted by pandemic related fear for quite awhile.  Maybe it’s because there are so many dining options in our area now.  The amount of construction in the greater Naples area is staggering and the restaurant industry has been expanding with it.  Or maybe people are just tired of Carrabbas, who knows?  Regardless I enjoyed my two beers and bowl of spaghetti although I’m not sure when I will be back.

I knew this Easter was going to be weird.  For my entire life Easter meant celebrating together with either family, my significant other or a combination of both.  I am not exaggerating when I say that was the case for every one of the last 53 years.  I no longer have any local family or a significant other and that was impactful on my mood.  I tried instead to treat it like any other day.  I tried to fill my day with tasks to keep my mind busy.

I was glad to see DD was open a half day.  I threw a $5 tip to the drive thru staff in appreciation of them working on the holiday. After grabbing my coffee I stopped at the park with Elsa to get a lap in around the path.  I really need to try to get her out and walking more.  She spends weekdays just sleeping all day I’m sure so it isn’t good for her.  She acts so scared when I try to get her out of the truck at the park and almost instantly poops once we get there.  However I know it’s good for her and I need to make more effort to keep her moving.

My bill paying session took forever as it was CC reconciliation week which is a PIA.  I found a fraudulent charge on there which is going to result in me getting a new card and number.  That will set off a chain reaction of aggravation as I will need to change all of the services I bill to the card monthly.

I knocked out the mowing around the house and then headed inside where I cleaned the carpets and steam cleaned the hard surfaces.  I finished up back outside where I did maintenance on the tractor including new blades, oil and oil filter.  I just crossed 100 hours on it so I made a video of the work as well.

So despite the day packed with work I still found myself in a poor mental state by the end of it.  I thought back to moments in my childhood and drew some parallels to what I was feeling now. The sense of sadness when reality washes away any past disillusions.