In Not Out

I have talked a number of times in here about the efforts I have been making to steer my direction more towards brighter and happier destinations.  One of my biggest struggles with being single is I have spent the overwhelming majority of my life not being that way.  I was always part of a partnership, for better or for worse.  So now that I have been single for a year I have been giving more thought to what a relationship is and what I should be focusing on.

I heard someone speaking about the error in focusing primarily on what you want your potential partner to be.  Having a mental, physical, fiscal, or emotional list of attributes you want in someone else should not be your primary focus.  The focus should be on yourself, what you can do to be a potential better partner for someone else.  This idea might sound or feel weird at first but it really makes a lot of sense.  Think about the attributes you want in a partner but then look in the mirror and see if you are what you desire elsewhere.  If the answer is no, you have some work to do. If the answer is closer to yes then trust that others will see the same in you, sooner or later.