The Brain Game, 75

The other day I talked about how I had received a mental lashing from my inner taskmaster, admonishing me for allowing my brain to go off on stupid tangents that do nothing but make me feel poorly.  It seems like such a stupidly simple concept, if you think negative thoughts, negative things are the result.  If you focus on happy, positive things your mind will reside there instead.  As simple as it sounds it’s consistent execution has not been easy for me, ever. This inability to keep my thoughts off the guard rails can affect multiple areas of my life, none of it with a good end result.  It can be borderline maddening at times.  I have been and continue to work on these issues.  Sometimes it feels like I run out of ideas of where to turn to for help.  Asking for help is something I am historically terrible at doing.  I think somehow I treat emotional or mental issues like most other hurdles in my life, something you just plow into, beating into submission with hard work, determination or brute force.  It’s not a good plan.

Today would have been my mom’s 75th birthday.  For all of my life it was always an interesting anomaly for me that my sisters birthday is October 16th, my mom’s was November 16th and mine is December 16th.  My grandmother just missed the pattern by a day as her birthday was September 17th.  Of course I think of Mom often but today will be more than the rest.  I miss her.