Archives January 2023

Saturday Frank showed up as promised at 7AM to start prepping.  His goal was to patch the area of the ceiling that had a small but long crack and pressure wash the house in anticipation of painting the exterior next weekend.  As I walked outside with him he asked about removing stuff that would be in the way for washing/painting.  I have been so focused on working on the inside I paid little attention to the outside.  All of a sudden I went into fire drill mode armed with some hand tools and one of my cordless drills, removing a couple dozen things.  The biggest subtraction was the water barrel which was still functional but the wooden stand I made 15 years ago or more was falling apart so I just ripped it all down and put the barrel out front for the curb shoppers.

During the morning I continued cleaning up the interior, dropped off paint and chemicals at the recycling center, dropped another box at Goodwill and then mowed the grass when I got home.  Frank had entertained the idea of starting to paint the front of the house but decided against it.  He headed out after finishing up the pressure cleaning around 1 or 1:30.  Once he left I kept going.  I made more progress on the hobby room.  The spare desk that was in the office went to the curb as well. It was a productive day.

On Sunday morning I had a bit of a slower start.  After grabbing coffee Elsa and I did a lap around the park, something I have really been slacking on lately.  Once I got home late morning the clean up resumed.  The white shelf that was by the front door was taken out to the curb, it was picked up in less than 30 minutes.  I delivered a bunch of things to the curb during the day, I would say 2/3 of it was picked up already which is great as it does not require me to transport or lug it elsewhere. I also took a number of filled boxes out to the old chicken coop where I had one of my hobby benches set up to hold them.  It made the main living space look a little less chaotic. The hobby room now has nothing left on the walls and a few things in the closet.  Getting that space handled is a big relief.

Later in the afternoon I hopped on my EX20S for a ride to Dunkin Donuts.  Riding a wheel is very therapeutic for me, turning whatever is front and center in my mind into background noise.  The suspension on this wheel is so soft that it feels like I am riding on a cushion.  The video covers whatever random thoughts popped into my head at the time.

I got to watch the Eagles/Giants game which had a favorable outcome.  The win secured the Eagles with the best record in the NFC giving them a bye week for the first round of playoffs which can be a huge advantage.  It gives them an extra week to get as healthy as possible for a serious playoff push.

I talked recently in my video from last weekend about how my life had reached a point where I was straying from a very established path by deciding to try to sell my house.  Through various periods of upheaval in my life during the last 21 years the place I lay my head at night has always been the same.  The idea that I someday would need to walk away from the place was always in the back of my mind.  The amount of work it requires to maintain, especially since I have been single this time around has been overbearing at times. It’s time to change.

I have never been a huge fan of change and quite often will resist it far longer than it makes sense, at times to my detriment.  The change that is ahead of me is massive, imposing, and filled with question marks. Yet, it is also necessary.  My path is clearly diverging from the main trail I have wandered confidently on for decades.  The new direction is not clearly defined and leads to an unknown destination with unknown consequences.  My life has had a lot of calculated and predictable situations.  I generally like to know what I am getting into as it gives me the best opportunity to have successful outcomes.  I don’t know what is around this blind corner.

Last night on the way home I stopped at Sport Clips to get my hair cut once again.  I had yet a different stylist this time named Kathy.  It’s interesting comparing how each person goes about doing a skin fade style differently.  She was on the quiet side compared to the other two stylists I have had there but I felt she did a good job.  Paying someone to cut my hair makes me realize just how quickly my hair grows.

When I got home last night I looked at the half ripped apart hobby room and felt compelled to get back in there, despite not really wanting to.  Now that this genie is out of the bottle with dates and expectations I have to keep pushing.  Once again I wound up lugging out large things solo, this time being the desk that was in the room.  I pulled it out into the garage and will set it by the street tonight or tomorrow.  Last night the garbage can was put out and I stuffed it with more things from the room, the supply is endless. There is still a long, long way to go.

Tomorrow Frank is supposed to come to the house to pressure wash the exterior in preparation for painting it the following weekend.  He also wants to patch the high point of the ceiling in the main living space to prep for the interior painting which is tentatively scheduled for the 21st.  He will be there early which will get me up and running as well which is a good thing.

So when I became single during late summer 2021 I started a journey, clumsily at times of self analysis with a goal of pushing against long time boundaries that in many cases were entirely self imposed.  Some of these boundaries felt cemented into the ground at times but with consistent effort and pressure, even those started to move.  I had to work hard to get my mind moving in a forward direction instead of treading water or looking over my shoulder at what was in the past.  The more effort I put into positive thinking, more positive things started to come my way.  With a change in mental direction, new opportunities came with it.  Many of these carried a degree of discomfort with the latest and greatest example being my decision to actively try to sell my home, which is one of the biggest boundaries I have.

So you may ask, why do I feel the need to do these things?  You seem to have had a pretty good situation going, why not just be comfortable in what you already have, know, and expect? Why mess with an established good thing?  Because I want to keep moving.  To me happiness is not a static destination that you magically attain.  It’s a constant journey and it’s that journey where the satisfaction is to be harvested from, not a particular destination. My relationship with Kerri has been a catalyst to embrace change even further, not fear it.

I have spent too long being a mental prisoner to my past.  I’m going to keep moving forward, who knows where that momentum will take me.

Yesterday I kept my streak of torrid selling intact as I sold my Inmotion V12, a wheel I really like but just didn’t make sense in my future plans.  Outside of two older wheels I am keeping for fun/training, all of my EUCs are the suspension variety and will be going forward.  They just make more sense for me.  I actually had a tentative agreement with someone else to buy the V12 but he backed out yesterday.  I wound up selling it to the number two buyer for a couple hundred more so it was a win/win.  Yesterday I also received a new motor for my T4, a free replacement for the factory motor that has some known safety issues.  I need to find the time to do that swap in the next couple weeks. One of the complications with doing that work is my continued push in getting the hobby room stripped and organized.  I usually do my EUC service in that space.  I have been doing the clean up knowing this motor was coming so I made efforts to make sure any tools I would need are available instead of being stuffed in a box.

I spent another couple hours in the hobby room last night busting ass.  I managed to clear/remove the second heavy bench in the room as well as pull down two more sets of shelving.  The desk that is in that room will be attacked next with it likely being sold or curbed as I don’t see it having future use.  I have an identical desk in my office which will likely meet the same fate.  I don’t see my current main desk in my office being reused either.  I imagine getting one of those modern gaming desks which have the ability to be used sitting or standing.

I shut down the work a little after 9, trying to adhere to my manageable chunks strategy.  Both of the benches were lugged out to the old chicken coop.  They are heavy and awkward to carry, a possible reason my lower back was absolutely killing me this morning for the first 15 minutes out of bed.

I also boxed up all of my 3D printers but two, as planned.  The question is where I want to store certain things until the time comes where they will be actually moved.  Some stuff will survive just fine in one of the outdoor storage buildings, some things, like 3D printers would be questionable.  It’s all part of the many questions I will be finding answers for in the weeks to come.

I let my set of neighbors across the street know that they will likely see a for sale sign on my property in the weeks to come.  They were not happy to hear the news but understood my motivation for doing so.  They are the only neighbors I have that were there before I was.

Yesterday I also cancelled my deposit I have had for over a year on the Prusa XL, a new high speed, large format, multi-filament 3D printer that Prusa announced yet has not brought to market.  Back when the deposit was made I still was doing sizeable sales in my online store and justified the large price tag of this printer pretty easily.  However that justification has since vaporized and with my new direction where less is more, would make zero sense in my new reality.  My Paypal balance is getting pretty inflated the last few days.

Last night was productive.  I managed to sell four of my 3D printers in one evening.  I listed two of them on the local FB Marketplace and my Prusa on the Facebook Prusa group as it is a more high end printer.  The Prusa was spoken for quickly.  I boxed it up and shipped it off to San Diego this morning.  The other printers were bought by two guys.  When you do the math you will come up with three printers for sale right?  Well the guy that bought my CR10S Pro mentioned how he was looking at Prusa Mini’s, which I had three of.  I asked him if he would want to buy one of mine as well, he did after I offered it at an attractive price.  So just like that I had trimmed my at home print farm from 9 printers to 5.

Getting those machines out of there gave me a burst of additional motivation to keep working.  I was able to disassemble/remove one of the big work benches from the room.  My plan is to put it and some other items in the old chicken coop for safekeeping.  These benches are great and hopefully can be utilized in whatever my new living arrangement winds up being.  I also cleared and took down one of the four wire shelves in the room.  It was a nice start to tackling what will surely be the most challenging space in the house to clear.  My current mental game plan is to only have one bench in the room with two printers on it with no shelving to get me by with any printing needs until the next step in this journey goes down. I am also now actively trying to sell my V12, an EUC that I love but don’t really need at this point in time.

One thing this purge has made clear is that I have had a number of situations where I bought things for some sort of project or upgrade that I never executed for one reason or another.  Repeatedly I have found stuff that I bought, never used and as a result will either find it’s way to a donate, recycle, or trash pile in the near future.

I still had some gas in the tank so I went out to the garage and cleared the rest of the wire shelves in there.  I now have a massive pile of things to get dropped off at the recycling center and my big trash bin that was just picked up yesterday is three quarters full already.  I have a pretty solid mental blueprint of how I want to navigate through this sizeable challenge.  I just need to try to keep executing it in manageable chunks without letting it consume me. There are some furniture items I can foresee hitting FB Marketplace in my near future.

Speaking of Marketplace, which can be a great free tool for selling items locally, it also can be a cesspool of scammers.  The items I listed flooded me with a ton of these fake buyers that you can discern from a number of things like their profile information or if their profile is “locked” so you can see no details at all.  Often they will try to get you to take the communication off of Facebook to hide their tracks.  I normally try to vet potential buyers by asking a few specific questions about them or their location.  If I get non-specific or no answer at all I move on, always.

When I finally hit bed I was pretty beat.  It felt good to take a few more solid swings with the axe as I work on felling this massive tree of tasks.

This morning on my way to work I saw a rarity, someone else on an EUC.  I couldn’t quite make out what model he was riding but it was a powerful wheel based on the speed he was going.  He was wearing flip flops and a backwards baseball hat.  The only protective gear I think I saw was wrist guards, maybe.

I found it ironic that I happened to catch him falling off the wheel as he crossed the intersection onto the sidewalk and evidently misjudged or did not see someone approaching from the other direction on a bike, consuming most of the space.  The last thing I saw was him trying to grab the wheel as it was wobbling towards the road.  Hopefully he did not get too injured as a result. This is normally the way it goes for some people, they don’t place importance on wearing safety gear until they are directly impacted by not doing so.

My Monday followed a pattern that has been established recently, compress, remove, discard, and sort.  I spent time in the office and the hobby room primarily trying to make some headway.  As mentioned before the hobby room will be the biggest bear of all.  In that regard I listed three of my printers in there for sale and one of my electric unicycles.  The money and space will come in handy.  At this point the hobby room is really the only space that has significant things on the wall courtesy of the wire shelving I installed years ago to house all of the parts/tools associated with my 3D printing and EUC hobbies.  It all has to come down.

It is a bit strange the way my mind has flipped.  Things that I once thought I was attached to or needed are now getting summarily thrown out or given away with little more than a split second deliberation.  My trash bin was filled to the brim last night with another large pile of things down by the roadside for the scavengers to have their way with.  Kerri and I also were in the garage last night pulling down tons of partial paint cans and other supplies.  I had left over paint from pretty much every room in the house.  Since everything both inside and outside is due to be painted it has all become instantly obsolete. I will have a large drop off at the local recycling center coming up this week.

During the day I met up with Kerri at Home Depot to grab a different set of colors for the exterior of the house.  I think this time we hit on a good combo, the test area looked good on the exterior wall.  Despite the huge pain in the ass it is to prep the house for painting I am excited to see what the transformation will look like afterward.

It’s odd for me to feel so robotic about the process.  Sure there are a few things that I absolutely need/want to hold on to but for the most part I am in a scorched earth mindset.  Now that the ball is rolling I will be pushing hard to get on the other side of this, it’s just how I am.

Last night Kerri and I took a break to do something fun, build a Peanuts themed ginger bread house.  She bought this weeks ago but we never found the time to build it before the holidays.  I was convinced that when I came out in the morning that the house would have slid apart but it was still standing strong, a testament to our superior house building skill.  It was a fun little project, for both of us.

I spent almost all of New Years Eve with Kerri with a big portion of that dedicated to continuing work on getting the house ready for painting and eventual sale.  She was impressed by how much I got done myself the day before.  With us working as a team on Saturday we got even more done.

I installed the new LED overhead light in the kitchen.  I was surprised just how much brighter it was.  After doing this Kerri looked at the old shitty original light that was hanging over the baking area and suggested we look into replacing it. We did, although I broke a bottom cap piece on the new light along the way.  The lighting swap brightened up the main living space considerably.

When we bought the new hanging light we also got some small paint samples.  Kerri had different swatches on the wall and was looking at them in different light conditions to see what looks best.  For the most part I am deferring to her when it comes to color selections.  Sure I can tell you if I like something or not but she has an ability to see subtle differences that are nearly undetectable by my eyes.  When it comes to color selection I trust her judgement better than mine. Picking a main color for the inside and outside of a home to have the most appeal to buyers is sort of a big deal.

We did a lot more work on pulling, sorting, boxing and tossing.  Having Kerri there with me during the process was helpful in keeping me on point and distracted from some of the difficult emotions associated with such an undertaking. We got a lot done.

Our New Years Eve was enjoyable.  Kerri grabbed some seafood paella which was very good.  We enjoyed our food with wine and just chilled.  We chilled so much that we both fell asleep before midnight.  I woke back up around 12:45.  It was the first time I had not seen the ball drop in years and years but it didn’t change my enjoyment of the evening whatsoever.

Yesterday morning we did some more work around the house including brushing small squares of the paint samples on the wall.  We think we have nailed down the interior color but are going to have to take another stab at the exterior color combo.  I never was thrilled with the exterior color of our house after we had it painted and liked it even less after the new metal roof was installed.  We are hoping to go with some sort of grayish combo outside for the repaint.

Kerri headed out to hang with her girlfriends for a good portion of the day.  My mindset was to continue plowing along, which I did, with a few speed bumps along the way.  Like I said having Kerri work the decluttering with me was a good way to keep my mind off of negative thoughts.  There were a couple times yesterday where I sat and stared at the space around me, feeling the weight of the tasks ahead.  We got a call from the painter asking if he could move up the interior painting by a week which we tentatively agreed to, giving me three weeks to be ready.

After doing some cleaning up I packed up a couple more donation boxes for Goodwill and filled a big container with finished 3D prints that were adorning one of the dining room cabinets.  They needed to be rehomed.  I decided that new home would be my office.  I loaded up Elsa and headed into town.  As always she sprinted around the halls at work, she just loves it there for some reason.  Before putting anything else in my office I had to clean it as well.

I first put away the Christmas decorations and then dusted the space on top of my cabinet.  I did a round of throwing shit out there as well, nearly filling my trash can with things I have held onto for long periods of time for no great reason.  I was able to get all of the 3D prints in there without much hassle thanks to the subtraction I had done.  Much like my house, my office has many years of me in it. When I was done I had to coax Elsa to leave work, she wanted to stay and hang.

On the way home I stopped at Home Depot to grab some boxes that will be used to house things I will keep or donate. Once returning home I used them to get a few piles that were scattered around the house at least contained. If possible I would like to keep the visual chaos to a minimum.

Late yesterday afternoon I decided to grab my S22 for a short ride.  Riding is always a good way for me to mentally reset and I felt like I could definitely use one at that point.  During the ride I talked about the changes I have set in motion recently and how I am hoping the end result will be an overall positive impact on my quality of life in the future.

Last night Kerri and I watched 13 Lives on Amazon, a movie about a kids soccer team that was stranded in a cave back in 2018.  I had wanted to see this movie for awhile as I heard it was very good.  The movie was amazing.  The heroism, determination, resources, and effort that was put into rescuing these kids after 18 days was unbelievable.  If you have not seen it, you should.  It’s a solid A movie for me.

I’m off today so back to packing….