I had a priority mail box show up at my door today from good old Lenhartsville, where my dad and stepmom live. I was curious what it was. When I opened it up all I saw was a bunch of green tissue paper but as I unraveled it I saw the treasure inside, Christmas cookies.
I have always loved my step mom’s cookies and I found myself excited to have a number of bags of them to choose from. It was a belated Christmas gift that I appreciated more than she may realize, especially with the moods I have been having recently.
So tonight I played volleyball with the group that includes a lot of low skilled players. I did NOT have much fun as our team included a young girl that was built like a volleyball player but had a skill set that would get her kicked off a lot of backyard volleyball picnic games, it was that bad. I just got frustrated by it all even though I did my best to conceal it. I also got a bit of a wake up call.
One of the women that plays I have played pickleball with before, a few times. She had asked me about playing right after I resumed seeing my ex and I told her I couldn’t play. So tonight I told her that I was available to play again if she wanted. She asked if I had split up again, I told her I had. I did not expect what came next.
She said that she appreciates the offer but she doesn’t like being a friend only when I am not in a relationship. She took some real offense to it. I was caught off guard and almost felt like telling her additional background to my situation that made me isolate from other females.
I didn’t. As I let it mull around in my head I could understand why she could feel that way and she was certainly entitled to it. I however left about a half hour early. I wasn’t having fun and the interaction sort of impacted me. I isolated from all sorts of things because I was so focused on being successful in the relationship. It was a bit of a wake up call and further assurance that many of my decisions in 2023 left a lot to be desired.
I do not think I am going to be playing volleyball with this Tuesday night group any longer. There is a more skilled group that plays on Thursdays that I am going to try to slide into. I am finding myself getting more and more frustrated playing and that is the last thing I am looking for at this point and time.
I have been chomping at the bit to take down the Christmas decorations this year. Presumably it’s because of the negative feelings the 2023 version will forever hold. Saturday morning I ripped into it. There were things that found their way into the trash, things that only a week ago held emotional significance to me. My transformation over the last year into a person that is willing to depart with material objects much more than in the past assisted in disposing of these things, despite the pain it causes.
Once the decorations were down I continued circling the house putting things back to how they were. As I did so I stumbled across additional items that were hers that I have gathered in a small pile. On Friday after work I had already dropped off what I thought was the last of it. My plan for these few additional items is to just ship them in a box. By the end of the weekend my house was back in order with the chaos and clutter banished. I did a lot of the work with the great room slider pushed all the way open, letting in the cool outside air to help further refresh the space.
On Friday I also picked up a new wheel that was sent to me for evaluation, the Veteran Lynx. During the afternoon Saturday I decided to get the range test out of the way. It didn’t take long for me to question that decision. The temperatures were in the low to mid-60’s and overcast. I wore a hoodie but also chose to wear shorts. Riding at 30-35MPH created an artificial wind chill that quickly made me very cold. During the video I constantly commented on it. To make matters worse I wound up riding on a path that had a small section under water. Riding through it submerged my feet briefly, soaking them completely. It was a pretty miserable 55 miles.
On Saturday night after taking a very hot shower I treated myself to dinner at Carrabas. I always eat at the bar, a tradition I started with Christine. I have been there enough that the bartender knows my name, the beer I normally get and my most ordered dinner item. It was nice.
When I got home I decided to use my outdoor fire pit for the first time. I already had the firewood as originally the fire was supposed to be utilized for something else that was no longer valid. I took a bunch of paper I had left over from Christmas to use as kindling and after a little effort had a pretty respectable fire lighting up the patio. I sat there and ate a cup of ice cream as I thought about the symbolism of burning up all of the things from the last year that do not serve my greater good. There was a lot of things that fit that category.
My New Years Eve started bright and early with a pickleball session. The temps were in 50’s when we started but it quickly felt warmer once the sun got higher in the sky. The Sunday sessions were a couple activity up until this week so there was some explaining to do that was less than fun.
I got around to installing a few accessories I got for Christmas for the Tesla. It included a white console cover to match the white seats and the black out emblem covers that more closely matched the other blacked out parts of the car. Finally I attached a black rear spoiler that makes my Model Y look like the performance trim level of the car. It only took 15 minutes to do it all and I am pleased with the results.
I spent a good chunk of the day rewatching the Zak Snyder cut of Justice League, yea all 4 hours of it. Why you may ask? Why not. It’s one of few DC superhero movies I genuinely like.
I watched the Eagles lose to the Cardinals, at home. At this point it is clear that the team just is in disarray. The defense is porous and the offense is inconsistent. To lose to a 3-12 at home is simply inexcusable. At this point it wont surprise me if the Birds hit the playoffs and are immediately eliminated. It’s a shame , earlier in the season it seemed like they still had some of the magic that got them to the Super Bowl last year.
Any prior NYE plans I had obviously had evaporated earlier in the week. I instead decided to do a live stream, the first one since the last time I had a break up. In addition to the Cayman Jacks I normally drink I also had some champagne to celebrate the occasion. It was a VERY long stream covering close to three hours and 45 minutes. Both personal and PEV topics were discussed, I bounced between them regularly.
New Years Day started much like the day prior with a pickleball session at Talis Park. I played even longer than the day before and enjoyed myself despite there being an overarching weirdness of doing this solo instead of as part of a tandem.
I made arrangements to meet up with my riding buddy Jason early Monday afternoon. He wanted to see the demo Lynx. We met up at the Greenway, one of my favorite places to ride. The parking lot was PACKED, evidently a bunch of people decided to start their 2024 enjoying the beautiful weather while on the greenway. I had never seen it this full.
We had a good ride that had a number of close calls. I almost ran over a bank and into the water after coming down a set of steps awkwardly. I nearly fell into thick mud that was on the mulch trail. Finally, I challenged myself to ride down a flight of 14 steps, something I never attempted before. I had genuine fear at the top as I looked down, imagining what could happen if I lost control on the way down. Eventually I just YOLO’d it, all of the frustration and anger I have been dealing with for a good portion of 2023 helped propel me forward, down the steps. I had a small audience as I rocketed down. Luckily the suspension in the Lynx made the attempt less difficult than I imagined. I breathed a large sigh of relief as I rolled out on the sidewalk below, unscathed. Next time I may try to do the entire rise of 28 steps.
Jason had his own issues where he fell twice after coming off a curb. His suspension seemed a little tight and his technique needed a little work. I adjusted his suspension to a softer setting which seemed to help. We again rode down to the beach. Much like the Greenway, the beach was packed with people, ringing in New Years in a good way. By the time we got back it was about a two hour session. I thanked Jason for the ride as we made plans to do it again soon.
The rest of my New Years day was spent editing video, eating a Wawa dinner and spending more time contemplating where my life is going next. Ultimately peace, happiness, and being content are the goals that I am targeting. (who isn’t?) It’s just a matter of getting my mind in the right place to facilitate that outcome.
