Creaky, More Hosting, Absence and Presence

Last night I played volleyball. Luckily it was a better experience than last week. I played ok. I didn’t miss a single serve, I passed accurately more often than not and made some nice saves on defense. However I am still struggling with hitting. My knees have been especially creaky the last month or so and it is making it tough for me to jump with any sort of effectiveness. Hitting the ball with authority has always been the most satisfying part of volleyball for me. Not being able to do it consistently frustrates me. Of course the fact that I am out there still swinging away at 56 should be enough but I always am pushing to keep my expectations ahead/above of me. It can be a good and bad thing at the same time.

On Saturday I have two and possibly three of the guys I rode with on the east coast coming over to ride with me. We are going to do the swamp ride and then ride around Naples. I have a feeling it could be a long evening as I am thinking alcohol may be consumed as well.

Last night was my first one at home without Elsa. I definitely felt her absence. Sure I am used to not seeing her when I go away on a trip but to have it just be a normal Thursday night and not have her around impacted me more than I anticipated. The house felt very empty. You always hear that sometimes you don’t appreciate presence until it is absent. That was definitely how I was feeling.

Of course I have had scenarios where the absence of someone is more appreciated than their presence too. You know, those situations where you thank the powers that be for allowing you to finally rid yourself of a presence that caused you to be absent in more ways than one. I still beat myself up on a regular basis for not removing my presence from the scenarios I encountered last year, time and again.

Last year I was referring to a new profile picture I posted that was a photoshop of me ascending a treacherous rock formation and the symbolism it represented. I can affirm that I have moved less than I would like towards the summit and still have a difficult climb ahead of me, although I have shed a heavy imagined backpack to at least make my progress easier…