Loss of control, dog fun
This weekend was not very relaxing for me. I felt overwhelmed all weekend. I had a list of stuff to get done and didn’t do it all. I spent way too much time making an impossibly long list of things that I would like to address and then being frustrated by the inability to do it all. I don’t think the upkeep on the house is anything greater than when we first moved into it but it sure feels that way. When I feel overwhelmed and that I don’t have things firmly in control, I get real down. I can’t mask it, can’t push it away, I just clam up and think about how it sucks.
When I lived at home I aspired to live on my own. When I lived in the townhouse in Wernersville, I aspired to live in a single family home, detached from immediate neighbors. Now that I have been in a single family home for going on 3 years, I am thinking a house with minimal or zero maintenance is ideal. What I want seems to be a moving target and even when you hit that target it only seems to give temporary satisfaction. At this point I am trying to find some angle that I can get my moods elevated and devise a way to satisfy the home maintenance issues without driving myself insane.
On an up note, Sunday we took Nicki back to the dog beach. Unlike the first time when she was extremely timid and afraid to go in the water, this time she was much more open and was in the water with us constantly. It was really funny to see her walk and eventually swim for the first time in the gulf. She was running back and forth in the water after a little while and seemed to have a great time. The rest of the day she was passed out cold from being so tired. By the time we left, the dry area on the beach was next to nothing, it must have been high tide. We came back from a trip in the water to soaked blanket and a beach bag that was “marked” by an over zealous canine. We will take her back on a regular basis. It is a good, fun, free entertainment, something we can use right now.
therapygnome
I may be small but you are a menatl and emotional midget. Your short attention span or inability to be content with anything in life is steeped in your not-so-deeply-buried homosexuality. Accept it and move on. Or here’s an idea, approach life like an adult gnome does. When it comes to “where you live”. Think about what you want with regard to living accommodations, do your best to understand all of the pros and cons. Discuss these with your wife or possibly by then your “partner”. Accept that there will be cons with every situation. Decide which negatives you believe will be easiest to live with and move on. If in time you find the cons were more than you bargained for, repeat the process all the while enjoying the positives. Last point – stop crying to your 3000 HITS. We don’t want to hear it and I believe I hold a majority vote since I estimate that I’ve accounted for apporximately 880 of those hits over the last 14 months.