I made a mental pseudo-commitment to head to our county wellness center sometime in October for two things. I want to schedule a cardiac follow up since it has been a few years since I last had one. With my mom dying from a widow maker heart attack at 67 and my younger brother having a more minor heart attack in the same artery last year I would be foolish not to be proactive about it.

Secondly I am going to see if I can get a referral to an orthopedist. My right hip, lower back and both knees are a mess and have been for quite awhile. I have had no imaging done on my joints in at least 10 years, possibly closer to 15. I am pretty positive it isn’t going to be a pretty picture. It would be nice however to have a better idea of exactly what is breaking down so I can decide what I want to do about it going forward. Both my dad and my younger brother have had a hip replacement done as well. I was hoping I could buck the genetic inclination towards these sorts of issues via my mostly healthy lifestyle choices but it isn’t working out that way. I am tired of the near constant pain when doing most anything that has me upright.

The days this week have sort of blended together. It’s only been a little more than two weeks since Elsa passed. It’s been an odd time. In some ways it feels like it happened longer ago but in others it seems like it just happened. I have tried to keep myself emotionally insulated most of the time but there are times when it just rushes in. One day earlier in the week I was doing my normal preparations at home before work when all of a sudden I just started crying, hard. I usually lament the passing of time and how rapidly it seems to occur at this point of life. This is one time where I wish time would pass faster to help dull the pain of her loss.

This weekend has no real major focal points in it. The time will be filled with a balance of productivity and enjoyable activities. That’s all I can hope for.

I got to actually watch instead of just listen to my first Eagles game of the year last night. Witnessing the 27-7 loss to the Bears was not the best time to do it. In the first half the Eagles had some good things going. Saquon actually looked like the version of himself from 2024, running hard and effectively. Jalen actually showed some emotion and fire, something Eagles fans have always felt he was lacking. The Eagles scored with a split second left in the first half to bring the game to 10-7. However that was the end of the positivity.

The second half was pretty pathetic. The Eagles defense got torn up by Case Keenum, the Bears third string QB. The offense suddenly had no clue. Barkley couldn’t run anymore and they had a ton of 3 and outs. The 27-7 loss was in a word, embarrassing.

That being said, the fact that the Eagles were 2-0 coming into this game was misleading. They were fortunate to get those two wins, they certainly did not play impressive or consistent ball during that time period. Despite the various changes in the offense this year, including yet another new coordinator, it feels/looks like the same old song and dance. The defense seems to have lost it’s way as well.

I finished up my quest to level all of my characters in “Retail” WoW to the max level of 90 last night. That meant bringing 13 different toons from 80 to 90, 130 levels in total, a pretty sizeable task that I have worked on for most of 2026 in the spare time I have found to play.

Normally once you reach max level you turn to doing end game content but I chose a different path. Blizzard recently announced WoW Forever, a version of WoW Classic that is designed to be evergreen. Instead of releasing expansion after expansion it will be one game with a max level of 60 that will not increase. It’s something a large part of the community has been asking for for a long time and now it’s here.

So I jumped into WoW Forever which is in Beta right now and made a level 1 warrior to check things out. I didn’t have much time because I had to watch the Eagles stink up the field but I am looking forward to exploring this new flavor of WoW and see if it speaks to me.

We got to enjoy some pretty nice weather down here in SW FL with lower humidity and slightly lower temps. Unfortunately it came courtesy of the Noreaster that smacked the Atlantic coast. The rotation of the storm shot cooler northern air across Florida. My girlfriend and I took advantage of the weather by going on AM bike rides both Saturday and Sunday, her on her e-bike, me on a wheel. Mia once again rode in the bike carrier strapped to the handle bars and loved it.

So all week I was trying to get my painful lower back to feel better to play in the pickleball tournament Saturday night. It was still painful Saturday but I loaded up on Advil and headed to the facility in Bonita. The place seemed nice enough with a long row of pickleball and sand volleyball courts down the one side.

My girlfriend showed up about an hour later with Mia to cheer me on. Unfortunately a couple minutes after she arrived someone from the facility said that dogs were not allowed there which got a WTF face from both me and my girlfriend. I asked why was that. The bullshit reason was that they spray a lot of pesticides to keeps the weeds down for the sand volleyball courts and they don’t want dogs exposed. Yea, sure buddy. I mean the guy was nice about it but still, it was very lame IMO since Mia would have been held the entire time. So after driving 35 minutes to get there she had to turn around and head back home. In retrospect it was sign how the evening was going to go.

This was the first time this facility had run this tournament and it showed. They had issues utilizing the app that is supposed to run things and instead resorted to using paper and pencil which caused more errors and delays. They also had an issue with the PA system where this annoying as fck interference sound would be broadcast through the speakers that they apparently didn’t know how to fix. Oh, and their wi-fi went down at some point as well.

We played in the 3.25 to 3.75 skill level division. The tournament only had two divisions with the second being 4.0 to 5.0. It became apparent that there was considerable sandbagging going on in our division. Even so, we should have done better than we did with an awful 2-4 record after starting 2-1. I struggled physically with my back hurting even with the Advil. When you have pain it affects how you move and do things, obviously. I did not play nearly as well as I can when I am my version of healthy. Brian struggled a lot too. If we would have cut down on all of the unforced errors I am pretty sure we could have flipped our record around, at least.

Brian and I also were clearly the oldest people in our division which surprised me. Our last game were against two young guys, one of which hit some of the hardest serves and drives of anyone that I have played against in my 5 years plus in the sport. This was made even more difficult to handle because of the bad lighting on the courts. The lights are only on one side of the courts so visibility was a real issue for both of us. The courts also did not have adequate space between the back line and the fence which caused issues returning deep shots multiple times. I was not a big fan of the facility when all was said and done. I would play another tournament there but only if it happened during daytime hours.

I was pretty bummed about the result of the tournament. Up until that point I have had good results playing in 3.5 tournaments, winning one and placing second in another. One of our losses Saturday night was a pickle, meaning we lost 11-0. After that happened I was mentally pretty much checked out. Even though I know I had multiple reasons the performance was not up to par, my competitive nature was very unhappy with the end result.

Last night I did my first live stream in two months, one of my longest times in between live streams in awhile. I knew it would be a tough one because I talked about the loss of Elsa. I managed to get through it without totally breaking down but there were some awkward pauses and difficulty speaking at times, as expected.

All week I have been dealing with a very sore and tender lower back. When combined with the normal issues I have with my right knee/hip it has been a very challenging week physically. I have been trying to be mindful of what I am doing. I have still been going to the gym but I have not played pickleball this week which can put your lower back in all sorts of compromising positions. Each day I make small incremental improvements but I am still far from good.

I have been trying to get healthy enough to play in a pickleball tournament on Saturday with Brian, my buddy that I played my first ever tournament with. This tournament is unique in two ways, it doesn’t start until 5:30PM and it is being held at some courts in Bonita Springs that I never played at before. My plan is to pop plenty of Advil and cross my fingers that my back holds up.

Incremental is the word I would also use to describe the slow process of getting past the loss of Elsa. One of the things I did this week was 3D print a number of picture frames which I used to put various endearing pictures of her around the house. It’s a Catch 22 sort of thing.

As much as I love seeing my sweet girl’s face in these pictures it also triggers the tragic sense of loss that she is no longer here. I know the only medicine for this is the passing of time along with trying to focus on all the good she brought into our lives instead of the dark emotions surrounded with losing her. It’s a daily battle.

The weather this weekend is supposed to be nice with lower temps and humidity than we have had in probably 5 months. I hope to take advantage of it.

Late last week I received back Elsa’s ashes. The place also included a paw print that I did not know I was receiving. Getting her remains back was emotionally impactful as you can imagine. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that she is gone, for real.

The days since Elsa’s passing have been a mixed bag. Most of the time I have kept my mind busy and occupied. I played pickleball last week, and on Sunday despite having some significant lower back pain just because I wanted the distraction, the appearance of normalcy.

There was one moment before Elsa was put to sleep where I felt like I knew that this was going to be the end for her. It was the Saturday evening before. She had a very rough day where the small amount of food she ate during the day was either thrown up or pooped out. She was exhausted.

I had her out on the lanai with me which faces west. I was sitting next to Elsa with my hand on her back. All of a sudden I look towards the sky and there is a small rainbow hanging there. It was there for a very long time. As I looked at it with tears running down my face I felt something that told me that this was going to be the last rainbow I share with Elsa. It’s a moment I’ll never forget.

So my goal this week is to get rolling into whatever this new normal is. I didn’t go to the gym last week and in general I didn’t give two F’s about much. Of course that isn’t viable for very long so I need to again resume moving forward, never losing appreciation and gratitude for the time Elsa brought light into my life.

I listened to the Eagles game where they scored with 10 seconds left to survive the game with the Titans. After two games it’s already clear the Eagles have some major flaws that will have to be ironed out but hey a win is a win. Jalen Hurts despite throwing two int’s, including a pick six had a strong game overall. It would be nice to see him throw the ball like that more consistently this year.

This weekend we discovered that Mia likes bike rides. We bought a carrier that is designed to be mounted on the handlebars. I attached it to my girlfriend’s bike yesterday. We took our first test ride with the new set up last night. Mia loves sticking her head out the window when driving so this was like a better version of that for her. We went for somewhere around a six to seven mile ride with Mia loving every minute of it. I was riding my V12S, using the seat I installed a few months ago to get some seated riding in as well. I am pretty sure that bike rides with Mia will be one of those things that becomes part of the new normal.

While we were out there was an amazingly clear and huge rainbow which immediately made me think of Elsa and our moment the Saturday night we were on the lanai. I have to keep reminding myself that life is a book filled with various chapters. Just because I have to close the 10 year chapter of Elsa’s time with me doesn’t mean there won’t be other great chapters to come.

As rough as this has been on me it may be even worse for my girlfriend as she has never had to deal with this scenario before. It’s been very hard for her daughters as well whom viewed Elsa as their dog too. It’s going to be a long and slow process of reconciling the grief. We can tell that Mia is confused/sad as well, wondering where her sister is.

I went on a very wet and short ride on a wheel on Wednesday where I talked about losing Elsa. It was a tough video to make. I made it because Elsa has been in so many of my videos that people that watch them have come to love her too. After I posted the video I was getting tons of comments from people expressing condolences and sadness about losing her from all around the world. I guess even through the lens of a camera her sweet, precious and innocent nature came through.

I got Elsa’s remains back yesterday which added another layer of heavy emotions to an already dark situation. I have been doing my best to keep up a good face for the rest of the world but if allow myself to actually feel the sense of loss, it’s crushing.

I don’t have the energy or desire to go into great details about this awful day however this morning we put Elsa to sleep. Her kidneys had basically failed and there were no other options left short of allowing her to starve to death since she stopped eating. Everywhere I look around the house now I see holes that she would occupy with her beautiful and innocent face, giving me true love without condition. The biggest hole of all is the one in my heart. Only the passing of time will dull the pain. Everyone she trusted loved her so, so much. Goodbye my sweet girl, I will love you always.

Ever since we returned from Orlando Elsa has been having an increasingly bad time with her health. Getting her to eat became a part time job which was mostly unsuccessful. Things she has been good with eating for awhile she started turning away from after one sniff. It’s been very frustrating.

This weekend things got even worse. The only way I could get the appetite stimulant into her was by covering it in peanut butter. The treats I used to hide the pills in were now on the not interested list for her. On Saturday I may have gotten around a small fistful of food into her but then Saturday night she threw most if not all of it up.

Sunday morning she looked awful. She was incredibly weak and tired. Just walking took a lot of effort and she was unsteady on her feet. Again we got a small amount of food in her and again she wound up throwing it up and having diarrhea, some times in the house, multiple times. Late in the day she drank a ton of water at once and within 15 minutes threw most of it back up. It really was feeling like the beginning of the end.

I had an appointment this week for her to go to the vet Wednesday and Friday. I reached out to the vet last night to see if there was any way they could see her today. If I can’t get food and especially water in her, she isn’t going to last long. At least the vet can give her IV fluids which she can’t throw up. Luckily they were able to get her in. I dropped her off at 9AM. (I took the day off)

They will run a bunch of labs on her to see what her numbers are which I expect to be very bad. I will be picking her up at the end of the day to talk to the vet and see where we are at. It could be we are getting to the point where I will have to make the decision every pet owner dreads. If her body is unable to process food due to kidney failure she will literally starve to death otherwise.

It’s a dark time.

Ever since June or so Elsa has had more and more issues with her health related to her kidney problems. She has lost weight and getting her to eat consistently has been like hitting a moving target. Something she likes one day she will walk away from the next. It’s frustrating but just another symptom of her not feeling good.

This also has correlated with periods of throwing up and/or diarrhea. At first this would happen every two weeks or so, then every 10 days, then maybe once a week. Now it seems like we can roll the dice as to see if Elsa is going to have a good or a bad day. I have to give her an appetite stimulant just to get her to eat. If I didn’t, I think she would not eat much at all.

I have become accustomed to getting poor sleep as often Elsa will get up in the middle of the night needing to be let outside. As soon as I hear the sound of her nails on the hard floor in the main living space it’s like a taser shocks me out of my sleep. Unfortunately quite often it’s tough for me to fall back asleep when I wake up that way.

This morning was not a fun one. As I was getting ready I see Elsa squatting in the poop position in the living room. I yell to her OUTSIDE, but it’s too late. Normally if she has to go she will let me know with a prolonged stare. I guess this came on too quickly to follow normal protocol. Shortly after that she started doing the thing with her mouth that means she is going to throw up, which she did, outside thankfully. She drinks a lot of water with her kidney problems, some times so much that it can prompt her to puke. I reached out to the vet this morning to schedule an appointment to have her six month follow up visit next week. I am not expecting positive news, at all.

I added a ninth camera to my Ring surveillance system, another indoor camera. That makes three indoor cameras whose sole purpose it to monitor dog activity through out the day.

I have emerged from a 10 day whirlwind, more or less intact. After returning from a work conference in Orlando Wednesday evening I had to turn around and quickly prepare for the fantasy football draft party that I have hosted for more than two decades.

My preparation was sort of thrown together and I had a new layout of furniture this year since I have a different sofa and the addition of a kitchen table. It turned out we had a couple less people than normal so almost everyone set up around the big dining room table. Only one guy was on the sofa and the kitchen table that I brought over was unused.

For whatever reason the draft went faster than normal with us finishing up well before 10PM which was nice. This year I had the first pick of the draft which is always nice but potentially annoying as sometimes there will be multiple players recommended as the first pick. Luckily this year it seemed there was no contention, everyone agreed Jahmyr Gibbs, a running back from the Lions would be number one, so I picked him. The other part of being in the number one draft position is subsequent rounds you wind up making two picks in a row since we do a “snake” style draft.

Because of the lack of prep I did even less studying of who to draft this year than normal. Somehow I came out of the draft with an A+ rating, the highest in the league. The rating is based primarily on making good value picks where you grab players later in the draft than they were projected to go. I never had an A+ rating of my draft in the 21 years I have been in the league. Hopefully it translates into a successful season.

We departed for our second trip to Disney in roughly 5 weeks on Friday afternoon. You may ask why in the world I would want to do this after I had more than my fill of the “Disney experience” the first time? Well when we went the first time we were offered significantly discounted two day passes. Instead of costing $220 each they were $40 each, yay. In retrospect it may have not been the best decision, although at least this time I had the trip from late July as a frame of reference. I knew what to expect, more or less.

I again went the AirBnB route for our lodging as opposed to a hotel and I again was very pleased with the choice. The townhouse we stayed at is a full time AirBnB rental and seemed to be almost brand new. It works out well as my girlfriends daughters have the entire second floor to themselves. It was in a similar location as the last place meaning anything I needed was close by.

So we were doing something different this time, visiting two parks on consecutive days. The last time we stayed an extra day and used that day as a buffer/recovery day in between park visits. We did not have that luxury this time. The girls decided they wanted to do Hollywood Studios the first day and Magic Kingdom, again, the second day. I was excited to do Hollywood Studios because of the Star Wars section of the park which is amazing.

Like the last trip my girlfriend and I just sort of followed the girls lead as to where we went. Her oldest daughter was locked into the app to direct us. The first day at Hollywood Studios my two favorite rides were the one Star Wars ride, the only one we did, and the Tower of Terror, an oldie but goodie. If it was me I would have spent a lot more time in the Star Wars part of the park but none of the girls are big Star Wars fan as I am. To me, both trips primary intent was to be fun for her daughters so I just went with the flow.

I was surprised the girls wanted to go back to Magic Kingdom as this was the park that inflicted the biggest misery toll for me the first time because of the pain in the ass logistics of getting in and out of the park which requires either a ferry or shuttle train to reach the main parking lot.

We did get to experience Tron, the new roller coaster that we did not get to do the first time. It’s ultra modern and cool to even stand in line for. The coaster is unique because you are in a position like you are riding a light cycle, on your stomach with feet behind you, a less than comfortable position for me because my right knee was feeling very stiff and painful from the day before. As I was standing in line I was actually doing some stretches to get a little more ROM in the joint. The ride was very cool, probably the coolest experience I had over the two days. We did have to stand in line for roughly an hour on that one.

All weekend it was uncomfortable to downright painful to sit in certain rides. The most painful of all of them ironically was Small World, a ride that opened with the park back in the 70’s. The seating on these boats definitely did not seem to be made with people taller than 6 feet in mind. The entire ride I was shifting around trying to find an angle for my right knee that was not painful. I never found it.

My girlfriend’s oldest daughter wanted to stay for the Magic Kingdom fireworks again. We stayed for them last time but had a terrible viewing spot where we were mostly obstructed. Evidently if you want to get a good viewing spot you have to plop your ass down early and that we did. The fireworks/light show does not go off until 9:30. We claimed our spot at 6:30, a full three hours early which is insane except we were far from alone. The best viewing spots already had people in them, even that early. Our spot was good enough though as we could sit on a ledge instead of standing packed shoulder to shoulder like most people in attendance.

The show is really, really cool with it’s amazing combination of projection, fireworks and laser lights. Being able to see it all clearly made a big difference, but, there is a price to be paid if you stay and watch the fireworks. That price is being immersed in a crazy river of humanity that is trying to leave the park afterward. We waited for over an hour to get on one of the ferries that take you over to the parking area. To stand in that mess after a very long day of standing in lines in oppressive heat and humidity is simply miserable. I will never feel the need to have to stay for the fireworks ever again.

All in all I tolerated the parks better than the last time but I couldn’t help feeling distaste for people with double wide strollers and electric mobility carts, especially those that are on them simply because they are morbidly obese. Nothing gives you a more clear picture of how fat Americans are on average than a trip to Disney. Doing Disney two times in 5 weeks is something I never have done before and will never do again. It’s too much. Ali and Shuggs watched Elsa and also Mia this time, the first time for that. Mia appeared to do very well and fit right in by all accounts. Elsa really enjoys her visits there as well.

We took the Tesla this time. It performed great, driving us there and back almost entirely in FSD mode. Despite having a lot of stuff we managed to get everything into the car without major complications. With this new Tesla driving to or back from Orlando on a single charge is not a big deal since it has a bigger battery and is more efficient than my 2024.

I am looking forward to getting back into my normal routine which has not been the case for a couple weeks. It helps keep me sane.