Archives January 2005

In traffic today I was behind a red 90 something Chevy full size pickup. It was the poster vehicle for rednecks everywhere. On the back there were several bumper stickers such as: “IF YOU LISTEN YOU CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF FORDS RUSTING IN THE DISTANCE” , “SPEED KILLS, DRIVE A FORD AND LIVE FOREVER” “KEEP IT FLYING (with pic of confederate flag)”, a GATOR Country 101.9 sticker along with a big Bass on the back window and a SOUTHERN COWBOYS windshield sticker. Oh and it also had a Chevy emblem tow hitch insert. It goes without saying that the driver had a cowboy hat on. Yeehaaaaaa.

The weekend was busy but fun. On Saturday we cleaned the inside of the house in the morning and then the afternoon was slated to be working on Nicki’s play area. We had the dirt dumped and then had another guy spread it with a front end loader. However a loader doesn’t do a good job of smoothing and leveling the dirt. The guy was supposed to come back with a tractor with a box blade, but after more than a month filled with various excuses, we gave up on him and decided to go it alone. The dirt had all sorts of high and low spots and ruts from the tires of the front end loader. The month of being out in the elements had hardened the surface so it wasn’t as simple as just taking a rake to it. My plan was a 2 phased attack. I was going to use the rototiller my neighbors gave to me to break the hard dirt up. Then use the tractor with the lawn aerator attached to drive back and forth over the area to smooth it. My plan worked, it just took forever. My tiller only was about 12 inches wide and I had an area that was about 25′ X 65′ to turn over. Running the tiller was a noisy, high vibration filled event. I had to hold on for dear life as when the machine would encounter a rock, it would hop up in the air like a rabbit. By the time I was done my hands were numb. Ali was on tractor duty as she did pass after bumpy pass on the freshly turned over dirt. I was pleased with the outcome, it was far from level but was about as good as you could expect with the tools we had available. I wanted to get a couple of the posts in so I tackled the 2 biggest ones, the ones that hold the gate. I had to go over 40 inches deep to bury it. Luckily in Florida sand, digging deep holes isn’t nearly the chore it would be in root infested, rocky, PA clay soil. We got the 2 in and called it a day.

Ali had asked if we could go to some waterside shopping center that evening. It isn’t something I would normally suggest but had no problem doing it since she lets me do most of what I want. When we pulled in we noticed it looked like the one store was closed, we wrote it off as maybe the store was out of business. We ate at a restaurant that was in the shopping area where we had some of the worst service ever since we lived in Florida. Evidently our waitress was on her first week of the job and it showed. She would disappear for extended periods of time and when we were done with our meal and ready for the check, she was nowhere to be found for 25 minutes. She sucked. Finally we flagged down another waiter and asked him to get our check. He apologized and brought the check. The same guy had stepped in various times throughout the meal and helped us when we couldn’t find our waitress so we gave him the tip. We think he gave it to the girl anyway but she certainly didn’t deserve it.

So ok, we were ready to go look at the shops. As we turned back into the shopping area we noticed not just that one store, but all of them are dark! WTF, it’s 7:45 at night and it’s all closed? Damn it. We found someone to ask and they said the stores close at 6pm. Argh the old people curse, a lot of the stores in the area have bank hours because they figure they make enough money on the rich old people that are in bed by 8. Oh well, it was better than eating a frozen meal at home and watching ER on Tivo, maybe.

Sunday was our big trip to Clewiston to pick up the trees that my Dad bought for me for xmas. When I punched in mapquest the location for directions, it had me going up 75 and then cutting across the state. When I looked at the map I could see that I could go inland first and then head up route 29 which was much shorter. The drive was much shorter than the 100 miles than I thought and the tree place was actually west of Clewiston. It was so close that we actually got to the road leading to it too early and we decided to go to Lake Okochobee first. It was probably and extra 15-20 miles till we actually got to Clewiston.

On the way in, we drove through a Burger King. Ali is trying to transform into a vegetarian so our meal decisions have gotten more complicated. Burger King has the BK Veggie burger so we figured it would be a good place to stop. I went to the drive thru and started my order, the veggie burger, chicken tenders, blah blah blah. The order taker comes over the speaker and says “BK what?” BK VEGGIE I say back in a louder voice. Silence. I wait for a few seconds. “Did you get that?” A few seconds pass, “What was that again, BK What??” This time I am even louder and making sure to enunciate clearly. “BK VEGGIE BURGER” Few seconds, “I can’t find it, I’m looking for it” comes out of the speaker. Ok, I am officially annoyed and I wait for another 10-15 seconds. Nothing is coming from the speaker so I have no idea what is going on. They have one of those video screens that is supposed to confirm your order, but there is nothing listed on it. So in an annoyed bordering on angry voice I say “DID YOU FIND IT YET????” Few seconds, “oh ok, anything else?” I was pissed and relayed the rest oy order in a loud, slow manner like I was talking to a 5 year old. Ali got pissed at me and said I was being rude. “She deserved it!” I snapped back “The girl is a moron” Ali said that probably Veggie burgers are rarely ordered so she was confused. I dismissed that as absurb and no excuse for being a dumb ass. As we pulled around I got to meet the order taker, a 300 pounder that looked as incompetent as she sounded. After seeing the visual, I shot Ali a look that said “See? I told you she was a moron” and Ali just gave me more contempt. If you can’t communicate, don’t work the drive thru register.

So after that mini-fiasco, we were on our way to Clewiston. We followed signs for the lake and wound up parking in a boat launch area. There was a big hill surrounding the lake so we couldn’t see the water. As Nicki pulled me up the hill I was a bit surprised at what we saw. I expected a huge area of open water but instead, just off the water line is a marshy area with trees and vegetation. Far off in the distance you can see open water. So we headed down to the water edge and checked stuff out. The entire edge of the lake is surrounded by a barrier of stones, kept in place by a wire mesh. When one of the hurricanes struck over the summer, there was talk of the lake overrunning it’s banks. Considering the water was at least 30 feet below the land level, the idea of this was pretty incredible. So we spent maybe a half hour there, walking back and forth with Nicki pulling me here and there while she tried to smell every blade of grass. We headed back and noticed on the way out the no dogs sign. Oh well.

All that was left was the grand finale, the picking up of the trees. The owner of this “business” told me that mapquest didn’t work for her location. I soon found out why. The road leading to her place was literally a sand road, filled with huge ruts and bumps. I felt like I was in a paint mixer. Plus the road was loooong. I bet we traveled this for over 2 miles. As we slowly traversed the road I stopped and looked at a trashed, gutted, rusted Yugo that was disposed at the side of the road like an old soda can. I had Ali take a pic of it. She resisted at first but then took it. She didn’t appreciate the oddity of it all. Finally we spotted this woman’s place. Wow sometimes I think I live far out but it is nothing compared to how remote this ladies place was. She owns 18 acres and she uses it as an animal rescue / tree farm. The area is huge with goats, dogs, cats, pigs and other farm animals. It was sort of a loosely organized mess. The woman was very nice and we picked out or trees. We got a Jakfruit, which produces the largest fruit in the world, a Noni tree, that has a medicinal fruit along with a fruiting tangerine tree. The woman even threw in 2 small dragon fruit trees as a bonus. If they take hold and grow, the trees should be an awesome addition to our landscape. However getting certain things to grow in our area can be a challenge. We tied down the trees and made the bumpy journey back out to the main road. Macadam never felt so good.

On the drive out and back we went through Immokalee which is a small town near our house that is populated by mostly Mexicans and Haitians. I was amazed at the activity on the streets. Tons of people walking around, riding their bikes or just simply sitting around watching the people go by and shooting the shit. They just seemed like very social people. As someone that has been labeled as anti-social more than once, I found the behavior interesting and admirable.

Our trip back in total might have taken an hour. It was pretty much the adventure we thought it may be. We got 5 trees, got to see the largest lake in the southeast and had some funny memories to boot. Thanks Dad.

Oh I’m almost up to lev 25 in WoW, just in case you are keeping track.

I’m glad Friday is here. I’m ready for a weekend. Mine will be pretty busy though. Tomorrow I plan on doing a bunch of work on Nicki’s play area. I need to level the dirt in the area and then start digging the holes for the fence posts. Her area should be nice when it is done with a dirt area for digging, a nice bermuda grass area and a small deck.

On Sunday we are going to pick up my Christmas gift from my dad. We’re driving 100 miles to Clewiston to pick up some trees. It should be a nice little roadtrip.

On the way in to work I saw a couple things. First I went by a place that still had their Christmas lights up and on. What is the over under date for when this transforms from “I want to extend the holiday spirit” to “I am too lazy to take them down”? For me the cutoff date is Jan 15th.

Then as I got to work I was behind a school bus. I quickly noticed that there was a rope dragging behind it with a doll tied to the other end around it’s neck. On closer observation I saw the rope was actually coming out an open window towards the back. Evidently some little devil thought it would be cool to covertly toss the tethered doll out the window and have it do some asphalt surfing for as long as the dopey bus driver didn’t notice. Funny stuff.

My personal best is 320.5, penguin homerun derby

I’m tired of people being offended. Everyone is offended about everything. Everything needs to fit inside the boundries of political correctness. The latest ridiculous case of offensive offensiveness came from our local paper. The leader of some local group proclaimed she found it offensive that Lee county was named after Robert E. Lee. She said there is history indicating that he owned slaves and that possibility translates into her idea the county name should be changed. It’s offensive. What the F? What shall we name the county? Lollipop county? Puppies county? I mean come on. People that go around looking for something to be offended about, offend me. Idiots.

I just set up a “honeypot” on my web site that is designed to suck in spam email harvesting bots. Then the info on these bots is relayed to another site that maintains the list and reports the offenders in an effort to catch these asshole spammers. If you want to see the stats on my honeypot it can be seen here.

The Sixers with a record of 19-21 are in first place in their division. Damn no wonder nobody cares about the NBA. If the playoffs started today they would be the number 3 seed in the entire conference. The NBA is lucky they have the NHL to keep them from being the most pathetic major sport.

I was sad and surprised to hear Johnny Carson died. I knew he had emphysema but didn’t know he was in grave health. Although most of the behind scene stories you hear about him are negative, I still really enjoyed him as an entertainer. It was comforting to know that if I found myself awake at 11:30 I could flip on Carson and get some good laughs. Hell it seems like he left the show only a few years ago but it’s been over a decade already. Damn. I heard there is no burial service, very odd for someone of his stature but I guess it is par for the course if you consider how he was in his private life. There has been way too many people dying recently.

24 years ago I remember the Eagles getting to the Super Bowl. At the time I thought it was neat. However I didn’t realize it would be such a rare occurance or else I would have appreciated it more. Well after 3 consecutive years of falling flat on their face at the doorstep to the Super Bowl, they kicked the door down and won the NFC championship game in convincing fashion. What a great game. I drank heavily during the game which resulted in some of the most ridiculous celebrations that have been witnessed by mankind. (just ask Ali) I was high stepping across the room, diving onto the sofa, kicking so high that I knocked myself over and finally celebrating the last seconds ticking off the clock by sprinting out to the lanai and jumping into the pool. I was insane with the joy of victory. As the game was in it’s late stages they showed a picture of a dejected Micahel Vick on the sidelines. I instantly jumped up and gave the fungo salute so hard that I reinjured my wrist. The entire afternoon was just crazy from the drinking and celebrating. I think I had 8 beers and a shot and a half of Goldschlager. I had every intent to watch the second game so I could scout out the Eagles opponent. However I passed out sometime in the second quarter and didn’t wake back up till 10 at night to see Tom Brady holding the AFC championship trophy. Ali filled in the blanks for me. I was really surprised to see the game was such a blowout. Surely the Eagles will be big underdogs but to be honest, I kind of like them being in that role. Nothing to lose, TO possibly coming back and a chance to shock a national audience. Go Birds!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The rest of the weekend was much more mundane. On Saturday we pulled out all of the fence posts that will be used for Nicki’s play area and treated them with preservative to keep them from rotting. This stuff turns the wood green and is a bit of a mess to slap on. My sneakers and arms had plenty of green on them as well.

We decided to take another shot at seeing Meet the Fockers. This time we went earlier in the day and bought tickets for the evening show. I’m glad we did. The theater was the most full I ever saw it, but we strolled right in past the disgruntled people saying “Ok, tell me what ISN’T sold out?” The movie was GREAT, funnier than the original. I can understand why it is doing so well. I highly recommend it.

I got in a bunch more WoW time. It is getting a bit crazy. On Friday night I was up till 1 am, Saturday night, midnight. I think I am getting a handle on why I am so sucked into the game. The game is all about getting stuff done. Doing quests to acquire stuff and experience to raise your level in the game. This feeds right into my project madness driven real life. Now I can carry on with that mindset virtually. Damn it’s a good game. I got an additional 512 meg of RAM for my puter to smooth out some performance issues I was having.

When I got the RAM at Best Buy I also stopped and looked at camcorders. Mine is on the blink and I was looking for a replacement. I wanted to get one that used the same tape format to be compatible with my old tapes. They had 4 or 5 on display, priced reasonably. I call over the clerk who happened to be in a wheelchair, and told him I wanted to get one of these camcorders. “We don’t have any” he says. No? Bummer, ok, well how about this one? “We don’t have that either” Ok, I asked him about the other 2 models that would fit my bill. “No, we don’t have any of them. We are getting rid of that type of camera. You could buy the display models but I wouldn’t recommend it. Maybe Circuit City would have some.” Haha, ok nice. Best Buy is a great place to shop if you don’t have to deal with anybody there.

Haven’t felt much like blogging. Last night the Apprentice started up again, it’s too soon. I mean I like the show but the last one wrapped up like a month ago. Come on Donald, we don’t need to see that much of you. Combine that with American Idol revving up will mean too much reality tv, especially considering my WoW involvement. Something will have to give.

Yea I am disgusted about the 40 million dollar price tag on W’s inauguration. It’s inappropriate no matter who paid for it. Spend the 40 million on tsunami relief or to pay to plate the humvee’s in Iraq with something other than plywood. Enjoy your caviar W, I’m sure the guys in Iraq are glad to protect your ability to eat it.

I’m really starting to become a road rage nut. I am constantly yelling even though no one hears me. “C’mon you f’wad move it! “Use your turn signal you idiot” “You dumb f’r, the passing lane is for passing!” It’s practically a reflex reaction at this point. It’s tough to control. So many morons on the road, so little patience.

Does anyone else feel dumb when they curse at a car, calling the driver an “asshole” only to find out the driver was a woman? I almost feel like I just called a long haired man a woman. Somehow most swear words have a male connotation to me even though I don’t think they really have to. There are only 2 swear words I would classify as feminine based, the b and the c word. All other curse words like shithead, m f’r, jackass etc , all only seem appropriate for male offenders. Weird.

A former volleyball teammate and opponent of mine from up north was killed in car crash over the weekend. He was a good kid. I remember one time I was playing against him indoors in a quads tournament. He was a very good player and hammered a hit that rocketed right off my face. I dropped like a rock but was not hurt, just stunned. Even though he was really good, he was very humble and never acted cocky. He asked me if I was ok and apologized and meant it, even though there was no reason to do so. He was real laid back, yet had endless energy.

It’s incredibly tragic to have someone so young, just starting out in life, be erased in a blink of an eye. I really feel sick about it. It’s times like this that make me really hope there is something after you take your last breath. I hope he is there. Wear your seatbelt.