A “fair” amount of excitement, it has begun

I started off my weekend after work Friday by stopping at Home Depot after work to buy some stuff for the sprinkler project.  I spent a good amount of time perusing the shelves, going through a mental checklist of what I would need to at least start the project.  I walked out of there with a couple 10 foot pieces of PVC pipe along with some elbows, caps, pvc primer, cement and a few other things.  I decided this weekend I was definitely going to break ground on this monumental project. 

I woke up Saturday, excited to get things started on this project I have been rolling around in my head for months.  So after my traditional Saturday morning session of playing WoW while Ali sleeps, I put on my baseball hat and work pants and headed outside.  I spent a lot of time initially just looking at the layout, weighing the pluses and minuses of different locations for the valve manifold.  My initial decision was to put it to the left of the main feed, there was an open area, however it was covered with stones.  So I pulled up the wood border and a few of the patio stones that were covering the area to give me room to work.

  I shoveled some of the stones away as well.  After doing this I reconsidered my initial plan.  Putting a 6 valve manifold there would give me very little room to work since the step into the lanai is right there.  So after some more prolonged thought and observation, I decided to run a long pipe to the right, behind the plumbing for the pool and position the manifold there.  It would afford me much more room to route the six outgoing water circuits.   My only concern was cutting off access to the pool heater, however if it needed to be replaced, it could be accessed easily by draining and moving the water barrel next to it.  So my plan was in place.

I dug out around the main water feed pipe.  Right next to the pipe was the electrical line that goes out to the well pump.  I was worried about it being right next to it when it comes to cutting the pipe.  I didn’t want to accidentally cut into the electric line as well for obvious reasons.  I was happy to see that once I removed the dirt, I was able to move the electrical line a good 6 inches away from the water pipe.  So the moment of truth was at hand, the moment when there was no turning back, the moment you CUT THE PIPE.  So after making sure the dishwasher and washing machine had finished their cycles, I notified Ali that we would be without water for at least a couple hours (the time the pvc cement requires to cure).  I wiped the pipe clean the best I could, marked where I wanted the T to fit in and started at it with a hacksaw.  The pipe wasn’t hard to cut through and within seconds the excess water in the line started to run out as I breached the outer wall.  It was somewhat awkward trying to use a hacksaw in such close quarters.  I cut through the pipe just fine but after I got all the way through, I quickly realized that my cut was far from straight, it had a nasty downward angle to it.  One of the things that is stressed when making pvc connections are the cuts need to be STRAIGHT, else you are risking  a troublesome, leaking connection.  For the second cut, I ditched the hacksaw and instead used my power reciprocating saw.  For some reason I feared using the power tool in this situation, however the second cut was done in seconds and was much straighter than my hand tool messy cut.  So I had my first issue, I had to straighten out that first cut.

I tried to simply take the reciprocating saw to the top cut and cut out the angled piece.  However the pipe vibrated like mad and I was unable to get it started.  So I called out Ali and with the assistance of her foot, I was able to cut out a piece to make the cut not perfect, but straight enough that I thought I would be ok.  I cleaned off the burrs and sanded down the edges of the cuts with sandpaper, as instructed, to make the connection as clean as possible.  I put the T in and connected the long pipe dry to make sure it ended where I wanted it to.  When I went to pull the T apart it wouldn’t budge.  I had to get a hammer out and knock it apart. 

So another big moment in the project was upon me, making the connection permanent by cementing to connections in place.  I wiped the pipes down, coated them with purple PVC primer then immediately applied a coating of cement to the outside of the pipes and a thin coating to the inside of the T joint, pressed them together, turned a bit to set the cement and made sure the opening for the new pipe was pointed in the right direction.  Then I cemented the extension pipe in, followed closely by cementing in a 90, a piece of pipe up, another 90, another piece of pipe and then the ball valve that would be used to cut off water to the sprinkler system.  Everything seemed to fit well and went together with no big issues.  However I had no idea how good of a job I did until water pressure was applied, and that couldn’t be done for at least two hours so I had to wait and see. 

Of course I would have preferred immediate gratification, I would have liked to have been able to turn the water on and get immediate feedback if I was successful, but it had to wait.  So I passed the time making a temporary testing pipe that had a sprinkler in the circuit.  I didn’t glue it together, I just pressed the pipe together hard, hoping that friction would keep it together.  I also cleaned up what I could, and ate lunch before it was time for me to test my plumbing skills.

 I called Ali out for the big moment.  Almost two hours to the minute had passed.  I made sure the ball valve was fully closed.  I plugged the well pump back in and held my breath.  Immediately the pump sprang to action, working to refill the main water tank and bringing the water pressure from 0 up to the 70 psi it normally sits at.  As water rushed in, you could see my extension pipe bounce up and down as water rushed into it.  It was a nervous few seconds as I anxiously scanned the joints to make sure they all looked solid.  After a minute or so, the water tank was filled, the pressure was up and my pipes were solid, no leaks!  I was very happy.  Now I wanted to go a little further and use my test pipe to fire up a sprinkler.

So I go over to the main valve and turn it a very tiny bit to let water past it.  I could hear the water running in but nothing else was happening.  So I open the valve a bit further.  The sprinkler comes to life, spitting the air out of the sprinkler head and then for a few brief moments it pops up and starts spraying water like a champ.  Then POP, one of the joints in my test pipe pops apart.  I scramble and quickly turn off the valve.  Well I got a taste of success so I had a better idea, I would hold the joint that popped apart and have Ali turn on the valve.  So I sit down and grab tightly to act as man made PVC cement.  Ali turns on the valve and again, the sprinkler springs to life.  My grip prevents the joint from pooping loose but then POP, the pipe pops apart at the elbow right past the ball valve, soaking Ali in the process.  She is unable to turn the valve off against the water pressure so I spring up and shut off the flow that was streaming out of the valve like a fire hose.  Ali had seen enough testing and went inside to change her clothes.  Despite the soaking, she was impressed that it basically worked.  She made some comments earlier in the day where she reminded me of some of my history of making poor decisions in projects that wound causing me additional headaches. Also we got into an argument when she was walking around helping me to mark where sprinkler heads were going to go with flags.  Ali kept wanting to expand the project to include this and that and I was getting annoyed with her.  Every suggestion she made equated to extra work for me.  I eventually snapped and said something dumb like “All these suggestions are all going to equate for more work for ME”  She took that as me saying that I meant she would not help, which of course she would.  I was just annoyed to hear all these comments when I was the one who has spent all the time planning this out and then she comes flying in and takes a dump on my grand scheme.  Well anyway, we worked it out. I was proud that at least so far, things are going well. So that wound up day one of the project.  I supported the valved end with a patio stone with intentions of continuing on Sunday.

Late Saturday afternoon Michelle and baby Parker showed up.  They were going to join us for our big trip to the fair.  We piled into her brand new Volvo suv to go since she was parked behind our car.  The line of cars going into the fair was substantial and the parking lot was very full.  We paid our 5 bucks to park and followed the directions of the disinterested parking lot flaggers to our designated parking spot.  As we got out of the car, I said jokingly to Michelle, “You have your keys, right?”  referring to the incident last week where she locked her keys in the car.  She laughed and and said she had them.

The fair seemed pretty much as I remembered from the last time I attended two years ago.  They had an incredibly detailed, huge sand sculpture that you passed shortly after entering.  It really is amazing how someone could have the patience to do such a thing.  I believe the info board in front of it said it took a total of 140 man hours.  Wow.  We passed various informational, recreational and food stands until we got out on the main drag.  We didn’t bring the baby stroller because of the idea of pushing it over bumpy, sandy grassy areas.  However we discovered that they paved a large section of the fair area, making stroller use much more doable.

One of the things they advertised was a 20 something thousand gallon aquarium.  We came upon it and were grossed out with what we saw.  It was basically an aquarium that would hook up to the back of a tractor trailer.  It was about the same length as a regular trailer except it had glass sides, an open top and a bunch of yellowish, green water with fish in it.  The water looked disgusting.  I pitied the fish in it.  Furthermore the top of the aquarium was wide open so any asshole could chuck money, food or some other type of garbage into it easily.  We shook our heads as we quickly moved from it, good idea, bad implementation.

We went into the animal and livestock area where we saw lots of exotic chickens, turkeys, rabbits, goats and many other barn yard animals.  I enjoyed it, baby Parker wasn’t thrilled with it, he was a bit grexy during our time in with the animals but he soon mellowed out.  We walked by the various food stands, surveying what unhealthy items we wanted to consume.  Then we came up to the giant slingshot ride I have seen from my house the last two years.  It looked even more imposing at ground zero, we saw someone get launched as we stood there.  As they did, you saw the supporting structures shake in a very unsettling manner.  They had some technical facts about the ride posted on a board.  The towers were 140 foot high, the rider reaches a height of approximately 220 feet.  The top speed the rider reaches is 100 mph and it said that the force exerted was around 6 g’s (which sounded high) Wow.  I expected the ride to be expensive, maybe 10 or 15 bucks, I was a bit shocked when I saw the 25 dollar admission price, cripes!  Initially the high price made me reconsider my desire to experience the ride but soon I decided I still wanted to do it, but I wanted to eat first, I was hungry.

Michelle and I got burgers and fries at one stand, Ali got a slice of pizza at another.  We found a grungy miniature picnic table near the bathrooms to sit down and eat at.  It was very close to the slingshot ride so I got a good view of various victims getting shot into the sky.  Despite the price, there was a pretty steady stream of people willing to shell out the 25 clams.  The burgers we got were on the tiny side, neither of us felt real full.  We decided that was a good thing, it meant we could eat more shit later.

I saw they also had the drop ride.  It’s the one where you get lifted up high, held there for a brief second and then dropped full speed.  I had done this one before but it is a good thrill.  It only cost 5 bucks to ride so next to the sling shot ride it seemed like a bargain.  I got right on and calmly ascended to the top.  As we went up, the extremely flat surrounding terrain meant that even going up 100 feet gave you a view that stretched on forever.  It was right around sunset and the view was very pretty.  However once we reached the top and you hear that clunk, your appreciation of the scenery vanishes and instead you are consumed with the anticipation/fear of what is about to come in mere moments.  All of a sudden the bottom drops out and you are weightless as you free fall for what is only a few seconds but feels longer.  The sudden deceleration to stop you from crashing into the earth is pretty intense as well.  It was a good rush and I felt adequately warmed up for the “big” ride.

We walk over, they had an option to pay with a credit card, which I considered doing, but then thought better of trusting carnival people with my cc number.  I hand over the cash and the girl gives me a big blue laminated ticket that I handed to the attendant.  I knew Ali would not consider riding with me so I didn’t bother asking.  However Michelle has a bit of daredevil in her and earlier she sort of hinted she might be up for it, but she decided against it as well so it was just me in the cage built for two.  I did have a partner though, it was a backpack filled with weight that they strapped into the seat next to me.  I guess a big imbalance in weight could be a bad thing in a ride such as this.  Right in front of you is a camera and a mic, so if you want to shell out an ADDITIONAL 15 bucks, you can have a video of your ride on dvd.

With the couple riders I saw go, there was a guy on a PA system that would sort of give a countdown to launch.  I was just sort of hanging out, the one guy told me to keep my head back on the head rest instead of angled up like I had it.  Good advice.  Then with no warning, I am launched.  It was a bizarre experience as you are facing upward, pressed back into your seat by the g-force, hurtling towards the sky with nothing visible to stop you.  Then after the huge rush of speed, sound and pressure, you reach the apex where you reach a dead stop for a moment where you can get your bearings for a second and see everything around you.  Then the cage tips forward and you are free falling back to earth head first.  It was crazy.  Once the elastic bands catch you, it shoots you back up.  The movement at the top and bottom resulted in the cage doing a lot of spinning back and forth which was really disorienting.  Maybe it was good that the world was spinning much of the time, if I had a clear view of how high I was and how far I fell it may have been worse.  My stomach felt a bit uneasy during the descent parts of the ride but nothing that I couldn’t control.

Finally the bouncing and twisting subsides and you are calmly lowered back to earth.  I was very aware of the camera in my face the entire time so I made an effort to not embarrass myself too much since the closed circuit feed is splashed all over tv’s for all to see during the ride.  When I got back to the bottom the attendant immediately asked me if I wanted to go again.  I almost said “Oh is it free the second time?” but I knew better, they were hoping the thrill of the ride would get you to double their already huge profit margin to 50 bucks.  “No thanks” I replied and as I got out of the cage I smiled and waved to Michelle and Ali, letting them know I survived intact.  As you go down the exit shoot, the guy by the video equipment stops and asks you if you want to watch the ride.  I said sure.  I did a decent job of not looking too silly during the crazy ride.  On launch, all my hair is pinned back on my head from the rush of wind, but after that there is just a lot of me laughing as my face gets red from the blood rushing to my head when I am upside down.  The guy asked if I wanted it on dvd for only 15 dollars more.  I asked Ali what she thought, I was half considering it for no other reason than it would make good blog a/v material.  She said nah, she said since you only see the person and not an external shot of the ride, you don’t get a real good sense of just how wild it is.  I agreed so I thanked the guy but said no thanks and we were on our way.  Michelle asked me if it was worth the 25 bucks.  Without hesitation I said , yes.  It was unlike any thrill ride I ever had been on.  It’s a feeling I never experienced before so that is worth 25 bucks.  This may be the most thrilling/terrifying few seconds I ever had, well at least until I get around to jumping out of a plane.

So after the big ride we walked around some more.  I picked up a latin corn patty with cheese concoction.  It was two patties made of corn with cheese melted between, no bun.  It sounded interesting.  It tasted pretty good the first few bites but I don’t know if it was a bit of a queesy stomach after the ride, I quickly lost my taste for it and threw about half of it away.  Ali got an apple dumpling that I finished the last third of.  Michele was looking for soft serve ice cream at a stand we remember passing, however when we went back to find it again we couldn’t.  Either our memories were both really bad or we were seeing things.  Michelle said she would grab something later.

Ali and I wanted to go into the petting zoo and Michelle wanted to sit down and feed parker so it worked out well.  She went over to another picnic table while we went into the little area, bought two bags of carrots and had fun feeding llamas, goats, cows and even a camel.  They were so cute.  We came back out to see Michelle still sitting there, digging through the backpack she brought along.  I thought nothing of it and sat there while Ali and her were talking.  However soon, almost all the contents of the bag were on the table.  I casually asked, “What ya lookin for?”  “The keys to the car!” Michelle answered back in an embarrassed, upset tone.    At first I thought she was joking, she was pulling my chain just because I made that comment as we got out of the car.  Nope, she couldn’t find them.  Ali assisted in the bag search, looking and feeling in every nook and cranny for the combo key/remote thing. (it’s one of those switchblade type keys) It is not there.

Ok, well I remained calm.  She had only gone into her backpack a couple times, once when we got out of the car.  I told her I would go out to the car and look around on the ground, she also asked if I could find the lost and found area to see if anything was turned in.  I told them to stay put while I searched.  On the way out I stopped at the stroller rental area and asked where lost and found is.  They directed me to a trailer a 100 feet down the walkway.  I poked my head in and asked if anyone turned the keys in to a Volvo, figuring not too many of the largely redneck/hispanic fairgoers drove Vovo’s.  The woman was very nice, she said she didn’t think so but she went over to the box.  Nope no keys but a whole lot of yellow sticky notes attached to the box.  “You see these?” she said, “those are all the people that have lost cell phones”  There had to be at least 25 post-it notes there, wow.  So I gave the woman my name and number and my sticky note was added to the box in case someone was kind enough to turn them in.

I walked out to the Volvo and looked around.  It was pitch dark now so the only light I had was what reached from the fair and the occasional vehicle driving by.  I didn’t see anything but just to make sure I drug my foot around the vehicle, hoping to feel something get kicked up, no dice.  So I walked back inside the fair and found the girls.  You could tell Michelle was hoping I would have the key in hand but she could tell by my expression that I had no such stroke of luck. 

So now we had to formulate a new plan of action.  I told the girls I would walk back to our house (about a mile away), bring our car to pick them up and then we could go get the extra key from Michelle’s place.  I told the girls, since none of us had cell phones on us that they should just hang near the Volvo in 15 minutes or so and that I would park and find them. Ok sounds like a plan.

So I walk towards the fence that is on the backside of the fair.  I knew at 10th street there was a gate to the fair that is normally locked but that I could climb and jump over.  I approached the gate and wasn’t very happy with what I saw.  Evidently in a friendly gesture, the fair attaches barbed wire and a higher gate to that entrance for the 10 days the event runs, great.  So I surveyed the situation.  There was no way to get over the gate without tearing myself to shreds on the barbed wire.  There was lower, barbed wire fencing on either side and propped against it was the gate that is normally in place.  So I carefully climbed up the gate while holding the fence post and then jumped over.  I later discovered I must have caught my shin a bit as I jumped when I saw the bloody gash.  The landing didn’t feel real good on my gimpy knees but I survived.

So now I just started walking, quickly.  I thought of the girls being stressed out and the baby getting cold in the dropping temperatures.  My walking pace steadily increased until I was probably going close to speed walker pace.  Then I figured if I was walking that fast I may as well jog.  Well that lasted all of a 1/4 mile until my knees told me to stop.  It seemed like a very long mile.  Finally I get home, pop inside to get the keys, wave HI to Nicki who is all confused by my arrival without the cermonial meet and greet session, and then I shoot right back out in the Camry.

There is now a long line to get into the fair parking lot.  As I sat in it, I was looking for a place to pull off and park.  I would be damned if I was going to pay another 5 bucks to pull in the lot only to leave 30 seconds later.  I spot an area on the other side of the road that looked wide enough for the car so I spun a quick U-turn, pulled off the road, put my flashers on and walked up into the lot looking for the girls.  Luckily they were already out in the area looking for me.  They told me they grabbed a deputy and had him looking for the key as well but still had no luck.  We all piled into the car and headed back to our house.  Michelle, Ali and Parker were in the back.  They were afraid of someone seeing them in the backseat with a baby (we had no car seat).  We were able to sneak by security and get back to our place.  Along the way we realized we had another problem.  Michelle can’t get into her house, the keys are locked in the car.  Luckily her in-laws had a spare key to the house and were home.  Michelle called them and arranged for her father-in-law to go grab the key and then we would drive to their house to pick it up, it would save some time.  Michelle was freaked out that someone would find the key to the Volvo and steal it.  I didn’t think that was a very strong possibility at all but I wanted to try to get this resolved as fast as we could to make her feel better.

So we took off for her in-laws.  As we passed the fair on the way out, the line to get in had spilled out onto the main road.  I thought to myself there was no way I was going to wait in that, I would just pull off to the side and walk up.  We get the key head back and I pull past the entrance, looking for a place to pull off.  Well with the widening project on the road, curbs have been installed that didn’t allow me to pull off.  So I wound up parking at the EMS building a 1/4 mile up the road.  However I had the flashlight with and figured we could just walk diagonally to the parking lot and be there quick enough.  As we walked I noticed Michelle only had her t-shirt on so I made her wear my sweatshirt, despite her protests that she was fine.  Our plan was going well, we approached the driveway leading up to the fair but then we hit another fence.  There was no opening in the fence.  So we had to walk all the way back to the main road and then back track to where we started, just on the other side of the fence.  What a pain in the ass.  So finally I spot the Volvo, Michelle’s fears are eased and we open it up.  We drive back to our place, she pick’s up Parker and heads home, grateful for all of our help and relieved that it didn’t turn out worse.  It wasn’t anything she wouldn’t have done for us, no big deal.  To top things off, Sunday we actually got a call from the fair office that they found her key, a storybook ending.

Sunday I had the next stage of my sprinkler project planned.  I went to Home Depot and bought the valves and associated stuff needed to build my manifold to distribute the water to the different zones.  I spend a lot of time when I go to Home Depot just looking at all the different sprinkler stuff, all the time thinking through different scenarios.  Finally I settled on six Rain Bird jar top valves, an Orbit 6 zone controller/timer and a bunch of pvc connectors.  I had to be doing careful math since I was using my gift cards for the purchase and forgot to bring my wallet to make up for any dollars I spent over the gift card amount.

I took the stuff home, ate lunch and then started on phase 2.  Phase 2 wasn’t very hard.  I had to put some adapters into each valve, cut a bunch of short sections of pipe and connect it all with T’s.  In all I might have spent two hours getting it all together.  I glued it up, cut a few pieces of pipe to act as supports and then spent the two hour curing time washing the car and the truck. (of course on que, it rained on Monday)  After the connections cured I wanted to do more testing.  I redid my test pipe, this time cementing all the connectors.  I attached it to one of the valves, held that connection together with my hands and turned on the valve.  It worked like a charm.  I demonstrated to Ali the three different sprinkler types I had.  It was cool.  I noticed a few little drips on some of the pipe to valve connections but they were real minor.  It was a very successful initial two days of the sprinkler project in my book.  The next steps in the project have been mentally laid out.  I think I am going to  try to mount the controller box, do the one circuit that follows the landscape around the house and pool area by hand and use the little water blasting attachment to see if I can burrow under the driveway for the front yard segment.  If I get all that stuff done I think I will be on a holding pattern till my dad comes down.  Then I will rent the power trencher and do some serious damage. Pictures of the project can be found here.

This entry actually started Monday and is being finished now due to me being out of the office yesterday afternoon at the dentist.  I got the Zoom bleaching procedure done.  Wow that was not much fun.  The woman that did it was very nice, what she did to me was not.  They stick a torture device in your mouth that you are supposed to keep biting down on.  It kept your teeth in proper position and kept your lips from touching your teeth.  I am sure I must have looked ridiculous. Then they jam some gauze under the lips to push them away further.  Next they coat your gums with some goop to protect them from the bleaching gel and the UV light.  Finally they apply the beaching stuff to your teeth and then posiition the Zoom! lamp right in front of your mouth.

The woman tells me there are three, 15 minute sessions.  She tells me to stay as still as possible.  She leaves the room and turns the lights off.  So I there I sit, mouth wide open, staring at the ceiling, trying to remember to bite down.  It didn’t take long for me to start drowning in my own spit.  So I had to master the technique of swallowing with my mouth open.  It was boring as hell.  I counted tiles in the ceiling, looked around at whatever I could see without moving my head and tried closing my eyes.  The Zoom! lamp has 4 little LED’s that light up as time progesses.  Each one lit up excruciatingly slow.  Finally my first 15 minutes session was up.

The woman comes back in.  For some reason I had it in my head that between the sessions the mouth torture device would come out, I would be able to swallow, wipe my mouth and reset.  Nope, the mouth stays open and she simply sucks the bleaching crap off, applies some more and then you are right back in the saddle.  She asked me if I was doing alright, I lied and said I was fine.  So session two begins.  Session two was the worst one for me.  During session two it seemed the spit production went up, I practically felt like I was drowning.  On top of that, my mouth was going numb.  My pulse actually was making my head bounce up and down slightly.  Then about halfway into the session I started to get very sharp, very painful sensations from my two front teeth.  With the door closed and my mouth pried open and filled with spit, I couldn’t really make much noise.  Thankfully the pain subsided but then without warning it would come back.  It came and went the entire second session.  My mouth was totally numb by the end, I couldn’t really feel anything.

When the woman came back in she asked how I was doing.  I said “i hurs” the best I could do with a full mouth.  She looked and said “Oh what a mess!”  I also made some noises and gestures to indicate I needed the suction thing.  Luckily she understood and sucked out what she could reach.  Evidentally while my mouth was numb, my bite relaxed and that allowed the gauze under the bottom lip to push out which in turn pushed the bleaching gel up, all over my front teeth, including the back of them.  She said that was what was probably hurting.  So she had to suck out the mess, repack the lip, reapply the protective stuff to my lower gums and then finally we were ready for the final 15 minutes.  Keep in mind, the mouth opening device is still in the entire time.  The last 15 minutes I just tried to bear down and get through it.  I had some more episodes of pain in those two teeth.  It came and went in waves.  The pain helped taked my mind off the boredom of sitting still for all that time. 

Finally I was done.  She sucked the gel off, pulled out the gauze and finally removed that damn mouth device and told me I could rinse.  I had a mouth of spit so I just said “Uh huh”  She said there were no cups, she would get some.  I said “I just ruf it..” and I hurried over to the sink and scooped up water in my hand to drink.  I wanted that shit out of my mouth.  After rinsing I took a quick look in the mirror by the sink, wow my teeth do look a lot whiter.  The woman said I went up 8 shades on the top and 6 on the bottom which is outstanding. After I got in the parking lot I took an extended look in the rear view mirror of the truck.  Yep, they look much better, I guess it was worth the pain.  For the rest of the day and night I had many painful reoccurences of that tooth pain.  I would just grimace and wait the few seconds until it passed.  So far today I haven’t had any more pain.  I have a bleaching kit to use for the next week to really finish the job.  The only downside is a restriction on what you intake for the next couple days.  Things like cola, coffee, mustard, ketchup, red sauces and anything else with staining potential is a no no. After the week of bleaching I will put an after shot up here.

Holy cripes this is long, sorry.