DWTS

So I sat down to watch Dancing with the Stars with Alison.  They are already overdoing it, splitting the men and women apart in two different shows, plus a result show.  I’m not watching 3 shows a week. The cast has a bunch of no names on it.  So anyway I sat through the entire women’s show.  Here are my observations.

Again they have allowed people in that should not be allowed in.  The Chubby Cheetah Girl and the Spice Girl both have done plenty of dancing, just not ballroom.  When they allow people like this in the show it invalidates the competition in my mind.

Marie Osmond is a mess.  You can tell she is uncomfortable with her physical appearance and she tries to cover it up with constant joking.  Man I used to think she was mega-hot back in the Donnie and Marie days. 

Jane Seymour is ten years older than Marie but is holding up much better in my opinion.

Josie Moran is an uncoordinated weakling.

Jenny Garth is holding up incredibly well considering she pumped out three kids.  Have to admire that.

The mens show was on last night.  I told Ali she could watch that one, I didn’t care enough to watch it.  I saw two of the men perform at the end, Mark Cuban and Wayne Newton.  Cuban was ok, better than I expected, throw in the fact that he had a hip replaced 7 weeks ago and it was quite the achievement.  Wayne was horrible, embarrassingly bad.  What was more embarrassing were the judges kissing his ass, acting like it wasn’t bad.  It looked like an old guy getting danced around the dining room at a nursing home by the activities coordinator.

I will watch the show a bit but I really don’t care about it.  Ali finds it compelling and extremely entertaining.  I can understand why she enjoys it so much because of her interest in dance.

Last night Ali said I was being grumpy because I indicated something she said made no sense to me.  Ali was saying how she wouldn’t be able to get to one of the aerobic classes at the gym because it fell right in the middle of Nicki’s poop schedule.  She said that Nicki liked to poop around 8am and 10:45 am.  Ali was afraid that if she wasn’t home at those exact times, Nicki would crap on the rug.  I told Alison it was silly to not go to the gym because of the dog.  If she is that worried that Nicki can’t hold it then into the kitchen she goes. It isn’t that hard to handle.  Of course anytime I suggest that a thought process Ali has is flawed, I am the asshole.

While I am on the subject of the dog.  I was thinking last night as I was preparing her supper how it is funny that much more work goes into the dog’s supper preparation than ours.  This is what I/we do every night to prepare Nicki’s meal.

Into a big stainless steel bowl we dump a cup of dry food. Then we carry the dry food and a basket in the pantry that contains all of the add-ins.  Then I retrieve a can of wet cat food and a can of Nicki’s wet dog food.  This isn’t just any dog food, this is Merrick dog food.  This dog food is better than what many humans eat.  Ali pays two dollars a can for it (although she could get it cheaper elsewhere) and Nicki never has the same thing on consecutive nights.  There are literally over a dozen varieties.  So the wet dog food is dumped into the bowl.  Then we hit the basket.  I cut a Benadryl in half and throw it in, that is to help alleviate some of her itchiness problems. Then whole flaxseeds are added.  These are to help with emptying anal sacs, yes anal sacs.  Then I put in a couple spoonfuls of some stuff that is supposed to be good for the joints and finally I add a couple dollop’s of plain yogurt to help settle her digestive system.  This concoction is then mixed up with a fork and then I get out a spatula to push it on to her dinner plate (not a bowl).  The spatula is used to make sure all of the flaxseeds get scraped out of the bowl.  Once the plate is presented to Nicki on her raised dining table that I made, I take over the wet cat food and mash a couple forkfuls into her food.  She views it as a condiment.

If you would have told me before we adopted a dog that I would be willingly going through all this bullshit to feed it I would have told you that you were insane.  Look who is the insane one now.