Highly anticipated

I’m sure people have been anxiously awaiting my review of this season’s cast of Dancing with the Stars.  Well wait no further!

As always they brought in a couple ringers which I never have understood.  I mean come on, Kristy Yamaguchi???  Yea she doesn’t do ball room dancing, she basically dances on ice!  It’s week two and she looks like she should be one of the pro dancers, what a joke.  The other ringer is the Chris Rock look-a-like named Mario.  Never heard of him but again, he as tons of dance experience, just not ballroom dance experience.  I wish they wouldn’t sign people like this up.

Ok let’s go to the opposite end of the spectrum, the shitty dancers, namely Monica Seles (already booted), Penn of Penn & Teller (gone) and Adam Carolla.  This is what the show should be, people that look like they have two left feet struggling to get through every performance.  Monica looked ok as long as she stayed in contact with her partner, as soon as she was on her own it looked like she was a drunken marionette. 

Penn danced ok for what limited physical ability he has and he did a good job covering up his poor dancing with lots of grandstanding.  I think he got the boot because people couldn’t stand him during the interview portions of the show.  He was loud and obnoxious and never would shut up.

I love Adam on the show.  He is the only “funny guy” on the cast.  He has dropped a lot of good one liners.  He knows he sucks and he is just going with the flow. I think he may stick around longer than he wants to because everyone loves his partner, Julianne.

Ok the rest.  The chubby girl from Hairspray needs to do lines of valium.  She is just too hyper.  Her “I’m crazy happy” smile is cute at first but gets old real fast.  She isn’t a great dancer but has over the top energy.  You wonder how a girl that energetic could be a porker.  Ali says I don’t like her cause she is overweight.  I’d be lying if I said that didn’t influence me.  She has a cute face and big hair though, always a plus.

The Colombian guy is another one I never heard of.  He’s good looking and has basic dance ability, I figure he will make it to the top third.

Marlee Matlin is pretty amazing.  I think what she is doing is far more impressive than what peg leg, money grubbing, evil Heather Mills did a couple seasons ago.

I like Jason Taylor a lot.  His athleticism will serve him well on the show.  Football players have done quite well so far.

Steve Guttenberg disturbs me.  I used to think the guy was cool.  He almost acts like he either got castrated or smokes a few joints before each show.  Everything is wonderful and he is so ecstatic to be there, a little too ecstatic if you ask me.

Shannon Elizabeth has a kicking body and is probably the best looking female contestant.  That being said she has an annoying personality.  She does have decent dance skills though.  I don’t think she will make it much past the halfway mark, people will get sick of her.

And finally the bad plastic surgery poster child, Prisicilla Presley.  The judges have given her undue praise in my opinion.  I don’t think she has been nearly as impressive as they seem to think she is.  Maybe I just can’t get past looking at her bizarre, frozen, Bride of Chucky looking face.  She used to be such a good looking woman.  Now it’s borderline frightening to look at her.  She dances just ok to me but I think she will be around for awhile.  People will enjoy the freak show plus all the Elvis maniacs will be burning up the phone lines for her I’m sure. The woman is 63.

How about the story of Cheryl Burke getting it on with Nick Lachey, her partner from a few years back?  Nick is married and has a kid.  Cheryl the little homewrecker, who woulda thunk it?  I read that someone walked in on the middle of some oral sex between, them. Doh!