Ample awkwardness, Missing money

So when I had my physical the other week there was something that they wanted checked out.  Checking IT out meant a follow up appointment yesterday to have an ultrasound done, on my family jewels.  If receiving a DRE wasn’t humiliating enough, I now had to have someone hold a wand on an area that does not welcome visitors.

So I go to the imaging office and get subjected first to the financial shake down that is common in today’s medical profession.  It really pisses me off.  Before the appointment they called me to get my insurance information.  They then look up my account and try to determine ahead of time how far I am into my deductible for the year.  The purpose of this is stupid.

They want to know exactly what your potential out of pocket costs will be and collect it up front instead of submitting the claim to my insurance company and THEN seeing what my responsibility will be.  I think it is total bullshit.  I am there getting a medical test, not buying a BMW.  I hate the way health care is handled in our country.

So anyway, after paying my calculated $102 fiscal responsibility up front the door to the exam area opens and an attractive 40 something year old woman pops her head out and calls my name.  Great, the awkwardness dial now will be cranked up another few notches…

So we get back to the ultrasound room and she describes what she needs me to do.  I can feel the blood rushing to my face as she describes it.  I needed to strip from the waist down.  She then points to a rolled up small towel on the table.  She says I need to lay my junk on top of that.  She then points to another towel and says I should use that to cover and hold my other part up and out of the way. Geezus cripes…  I literally said to her, “Wow, this isn’t awkward at all, is it?”  She laughed and said she would be back in a couple minutes.

So I did my best to follow direction and covered myself with a sheet.  The woman knocked and came in.  She sat by the machine, pulled back the sheet to check my homework and got busy.  First she applied some warm conductive gel and then brought out the wand.

Luckily for me, the woman was cool.  I tried to talk about stuff, anything to distract myself from what was actually going on.  I discovered the woman actually just started running, completing the 10K race I timed a couple weeks back.  This spun off into a good conversation which eased my anxiety.

The scan took longer than I thought it would.  I bet I was lying there exposed for close to 15 minutes.  After it was finished I was given some more towels to “clean up”.  I was quite happy to have the test behind me although it wasn’t painful at all and the woman was very nice.  I just HATE being examined beyond someone putting a hand to my forehead and saying “You feel warm”.

So both Ali and I have been waiting for the tax refund to hit my bank account.  I had already long ago spent a good chunk of my portion on the pool deck work.  I have been counting on the money to help refill my coffers a bit.  Ali has been asking me regularly about it as well.  The refund was taking a very long time compared to years past.  So long in fact that I emailed my accountant yesterday and asked him how long I should wait before I start getting concerned?

My accountant looked into it and told me two disturbing things. According to the IRS, the refund was processed on April 10th and should be sitting safely in my account.  However now 7 days later, it still has not shown up.  Second, the refund is $1200 less than what my accountant calculated it to be.  Supposedly there is some notice that will be mailed to me explaining the negative adjustment.

My accountant was baffled by both revelations which didn’t make me feel any better.  So now I have to find out where the f the money went and why 10% was knocked off the top.  I can hardly wait to try to navigate this mess.  Up until this point I have been lucky enough to not have to try to get anything fixed with the IRS. There is a suck storm coming…