Judge, Jailor, Liberator

After work I went outside to give the 4 chickens a thorough visual inspection.  The info I found online indicated that by the age of 3 months you can normally tell if a chicken is a pullet (hen) or cockerel (rooster) by the shape of the feathers on it’s “saddle”.  If you imagine where the sides of a saddle would fall if you mounted it on a chicken, that was what I was interested in.  With roosters the feathers in this area are long and pointed.  With hens the feathers are shorter and rounded.

I looked at all four birds and as far as I could tell all the feathers seemed more or less rounded in the saddle area.  When Cindy got home she inspected them as well as taking a number of pictures that we can hopefully put in front of some expert eyes to help us sex the birds.  We both agreed the feathers appeared rounded to us but then a minute or two later two of the chickens again squared off rooster style so I don’t know what the hell to think.

I did call the woman we got the chickens from and let her know that we may have some roosters in the group.  She said we should wait a bit as she has seen hens square off in a similar fashion but if they turn out to be roosters she is fine to take them back in.

While I was out there I also re-baited the live trap.  This time I decided to make the bait tougher to loot by punching a hole in the middle of the chicken jerky (ironic I know) and then tying it to the back of the trap with fishing line.  My hope was the line would require the raccoon to have to fully enter the trap and step on the trip plate.  The chicken coop was moved up close to the house and I placed the trap right around the corner in front of it.

So during the night I am woken out of my sleep by a noise.  In my groggy stupor it sounded like the chickens squawking loudly.  I shot out of bed, and into the 50 degree air in my boxer shorts.  There he was, the raccoon, unhappily stuck in the live trap which was on it’s side.

As I approached around the coop the raccoon was quietly sitting there, not doing much, almost looking cute.  However as I got within a few feet it sprung to life, hissing and growling like a VERY angry cat.  As I rolled the cage to it’s proper orientation he was trying desperately to get a hold of me through the small squares in the cage.

Cindy had followed me out and was freaking out.  She was glad that we caught it but not agreeing with my intentions of relocating him myself.  She had read the information about the dangers of raccoons and how they are not something to be taken lightly.  Despite their relatively small size they will act aggressively towards pretty much anything threatening, regardless of size.  I told her I would be able to handle it. She was still concerned, overly concerned from my stand point.

I went inside and dressed in clothing more appropriate for raccoon removal, including jeans, a sweat shirt, my rubber boots and leather gloves.  When the cage rolled the handle for the cage fell out.  I certainly wasn’t going to put my hands underneath and carry the angry animal like a sack of potatoes.  Instead I grabbed the cage by the trap door side where I was out of reach and drug it around the front of the house to the driveway with the raccoon carrying on the entire time.

Cindy was still pleading with me to not release the raccoon myself.  I again assured her I was going to be cautious and that I was confident in my ability to set the animal free far away without collateral damage.  I told her I was just going to throw the trap in the van, drive the coon to the swamp sanctuary 8-9 miles away and release it.  Cindy was still worried that somehow the raccoon could escape while it was in the van and eviscerate me.  She asked if she could at least follow in the Prius to make sure I am ok, I told her it was fine.

I grabbed a couple other tools for the release, an old comforter, an extension pole for a paint roller and a shovel.  The comforter and pole were for if things go smoothly, the shovel was for just in case it didn’t.  As I drug the cage down the driveway one leg of the raccoon was hanging outside. I gently set the cage down and told him to pull his foot in.  As I did my left foot was within a few inches of the trap.  The coon shot his arm out and wildly scratched at my boot.  I said to him “you better knock it off buddy.  If you attack me, I attack you…” I threw the comforter over the cage after I plopped it on the back floor of the van to keep the raccoon somewhat calm.

The drive to the sanctuary parking lot was uneventful, I heard the occasional hiss from the back seats.  I wondered if the raccoon had any idea that he actually hit the lottery as there aren’t many people that would let him live after what happened.  My nearly universal love of all animals and my partial responsibility for allowing it to happen with shoddy coop security is what granted him this pardon.

I parked the van and pulled the cage out in front of the headlights and about 10 feet from the tree line. Cindy watched cautiously from a good 30 feet away.  I covered all sides of the cage except the door side with the comforter.  I then carefully got the spring loaded door cracked maybe an inch or so and placed the pole under it, giving me the ability to fully open the door with my hands safely on either side of the pole instead of near the door.

Once I had it open the raccoon did not immediately shoot out, perhaps thinking it was a trick.  I said “Go on, get going…”  He shot out of the cage and straight into the woods.  I told him to enjoy his new life as I returned to the van.  Cindy was quite relieved that the raccoon had been relocated and it went down without me contracting rabies.

Just because the killer raccoon has been captured and removed I don’t plan to let my guard down.  The live trap will be set up every night nearby the coop.  I will keep trapping and relocating for as long as it takes.

Of course I had no shot of falling back asleep once we got back home so I just stayed up, played some WoW and had to deal with another round of malware infections which I think I finally have eradicated once and for all.