Derailed, 50

Last night I arrived home with the intention of going outside and weed whacking the property.  When I pulled in the driveway there were threatening clouds all around the area with the sound of thunder rumbling off in the distance.  I had not totally written off the task as there have been many, many times I have done yard work with storms surrounding me. Hell I have done it in the middle of storms if I am in one of those moods where nothing short of a direct lightning strike will stop me. However last night I got sidetracked onto another task and by the time I got back to thinking about yard work it was too late.  I don’t like when I don’t follow through on commitments I make, even if it is just a mental one, only made to myself.  My plan is to get out there tonight and get busy.

The reason I am trying to get the major yard work out of the way is it looks like a tropical system may be rolling through our area Saturday morning which would make mowing/weed whacking problematic. Plus it is much more pleasant doing this stuff in the evening when the heat and humidity is far less oppressive.  Hell I may even catch a glimpse of a beautiful post sunset sky, like I did last night.

One of the exercises I have been working on as part of my self help/improvement stuff is writing down 50 words/things I like about myself.  These are words that describe aspects of who you are and should be positive in nature.  When I first started on the list it seemed like a herculean task.  I got to word 14 or 15 and paused, wondering how in the world I could get to 50.

I dug deeper , thinking about different aspects of who I am, what holds importance in my life, and what about me would be seen as positive.  It took awhile but eventually I had 50 words/phrases.  I was surprised I actually got there.  The point of an exercise like this is to reprogram your brain, thinking about good things in your blueprint and expand on them instead of spinning around whatever negativity that has taken hold for various reasons.  It’s hard work and there is not a magic button you press where you can say “I’m cured”.  Small steps day by day add up to real progress as time marches on.