Disengaged

Please keep in mind this is written after being affected by covid for close to a week, your mileage may vary.  Getting sick on the end of a month that contained so many highlights from the trips to New York and Roatan has done some weird things to me mentally.  I shot a brief video for members of my YouTube channel explaining what is going on and how I have been feeling.  During that four minutes I described how when I looked around I felt behind, behind in so many ways.  I like to be ahead of most curves, not so far behind that I can hardly see the curve anymore. The feeling has been deflating my mood.

I also have this weird feeling of being disengaged which is a bit hard to quantify/describe.  I don’t feel connected to what I normally am.  I am lacking excitement about my future.  I just am not feeling positive, which is something I have put a lot of effort into working on the last several months.  I know your thoughts steer your mood and I am hoping this is just a side effect of feeling like shit for a prolonged period of time. Still, I am feeling much more robotic right now and far less human.

I was thinking I would be back at the office instead of working remotely once again today however I pulled another positive covid test last night.  The strong symptoms have faded.  I have no fever, no significant GI distress and coughing fits are rare.  What I do have is an overall sense of weakness and fatigue that does not seem to be lifting or changing.  It’s not to a debilitating level but it’s significant.  My sister’s family just got over Covid, Torrin said it took 12 days until she got a negative covid test result.

There have been so many variants of covid since this mess began.  Some have been stupidly mild but I have heard time and time again that people getting whatever thisrecent strain is have been smacked hard, and it hangs with you.  Awesome.