MIA, Breaking the Chains

I have had several inquiries from friends and family asking if everything is ok.  The reason for the question is for the better part of the last two decades I would be sharing pictures and comments about whatever my Christmas experience that year contained.  Today, December 27th, I posted Merry Christmas on my Facebook timeline, jokingly of course.  It was the first thing I posted since the 24th, which was actually only a repost of a memory from 6 years prior.  If you are pressed for time, the short answer to this mystery is, I’m busy.  If you would like further explanation, continue reading.

Since returning from California things have been just hectic.  Getting back a couple days before Christmas is less than ideal as any last minute holiday tasks needed to be tended to along with my normal desire to get things back to normal after being away.  I am still working on obtaining the normalcy part.  On Christmas Eve Kerri and I went to her parents place for a nice visit.  Kerri prepared a charcuterie board there.  I helped prep as I could while enjoying some of the wine that was on hand.  Kerri’s son was there as well.  I get along with her family and enjoyed spending Christmas Eve with them.  I got to watch the end of the Eagles/Cowboys game while I was there.  Unfortunately the Birds lost but it was a competitive game, especially considering  Jalen Hurts was out.

I had an equally memorable Christmas with Kerri.  She spoiled me with gifts and I also had a number of things my family had sent me as well. Kerri got me a bunch of badly needed clothing upgrades.  I had previously given her the green light to help me redo my wardrobe which is admittedly out of style, worn and in dire need of refreshing.  She seemed to like the gifts I picked out for her which I was happy to see.  Even though we have only been together a couple months I think we both have absorbed a good sense of one another.

I also have to tell on myself.  We had been so busy that I forgot to buy Elsa gifts.  When I realized this on Christmas Eve I felt horrible.  I wound up wrapping some of her existing toys.  When she opened the first one she seemed excited.  When she got to the next two she seemed less so.  I will make it up to her.

Late morning we went back to Kerri’s parents for a Christmas brunch, again with Cory.  Once again Kerri was the cook making scrambled eggs, sausage, french toast casserole and more.  I pitched in as needed.  I also had a few mimosas that her mom prepared, another drink that I have very rarely indulged in.   The family exchanged presents.  Her mom even bought me a DD gift card which was unnecessary but thoughtful.  Several times during the visit I took a moment to appreciate I was sharing the holiday in a family environment as I thought back to how my holiday was one year prior, which was anything but happy.  It felt good to be relaxed, at peace, and happy.

Originally there were some plans to go to a holiday party that one of Kerri’s friends was having but we wound up instead having a quiet and peaceful time back at the house.  We wound up bringing over Kerri’s dog, Zoe to stay with us.  She almost looks like Sadie did as a younger dog.  She is very sweet and I was confident her and Elsa would be fine, they were.  Elsa was her normal cautious self but Zoe fit right in and seems very happy both in the house and roaming around the property.

The one thing that has not been great about the days around Christmas was the weather.  It was really cold by Florida standards and PA gray for almost three straight days.  There were 2-3 days where the temps barely cleared the 40’s.  Even with those conditions Kerri and I still got out to play pickleball at the local park a couple times.  Yes it was cold but eventually you warmed up with play.  I love that Kerri is so active, she keeps me on my toes. The majority of our Christmas evening was spent under the soft pickleball blanket I bought Kerri for Christmas while we watched a movie. I appreciated every moment of it. I felt content and grateful how my 2022 Christmas turned out.

So I also had off Monday and Tuesday.  A big focus of those days was to help Kerri with whatever she needed in regards to her temporary move.  She seasonally rents her place and has to be out by the end of the week, so there was a lot to do.  In addition I had a woman I know from the running club who is a realtor coming out to the house to talk more about the possibilities of selling it.  Yes, I am that serious about it.  She also was the one that sold Alison’s place.

We walked the grounds so she could get a lay of the land both inside and out.  She recognized some of the unique things the place has like three outside storage buildings, full house solar, whole house reverse osmosis, a new roof, new impact windows and more.  When we went inside and sat down we went over the hardcover material her office prepared for my property.  I was glad that Kerri was there as she has done a number of real estate transactions and had some good feedback that I think was helpful.  The interaction was productive and I was given some tips in regards to how the house would be best prepared to show well to perspective buyers.  The only thing that I had to drag my feet on is timelines.  Originally something was said about having the house ready to list in mid-January.  That instantly hit a mental wall for me.  I don’t like to commit to things that I don’t think I can realistically do. This was not realistic.

The reason it is not realistic was because of the suggestions for prep.  Having the entire interior of the house repainted was a serious suggestion as well as having the east exterior wall painted after patching some spider cracks in the wall that follow the cinder block.  I am open to both of these things but it is far easier said than done as it would require massive effort on my part to make the house ready for paint.  On the plus side Kerri has an awesome source for painting, he is supposed to give us a quote on Thursday.  I would even go as far as having the garage painted.  The realtor said nothing makes a house look more inviting than fresh paint.  Both Kerri and her suggested a lighter paint that will maximize the look of space in the house.

The other big requirement is de-cluttering/de-personalizing the house.  That will be both a physical and mental effort on my part.  This house has 21 years of me in it.  Although I have always done my best to stay mostly organized over the years there is still a tremendous amount of things inside these walls, much of which has to be removed, stored, donated, thrown away or sold.  Of course Kerri would help me do this but I would be lying to myself if I said it will be easy, it most definitely will not.  I have seen this space evolve from a concrete slab to a home I have created so many memories in over the last two decades plus.  Taking it all apart is going to be one of the tougher things I have had to do.

I have to focus on the big picture.  For years and years I have been complaining about how my time is consumed by requirements of the house and the nearly three acres of land it sits on. I have always known there was going to be a time when it was going to finally be right to release myself from the self imposed chains that it puts on me.  This may be happening sooner rather than later but it needs to happen.  I have loved so many things about my life here but I think it’s time to start a new chapter where choices are less restricted and more paths are open. I did not sign the real estate contract yet.  I want to get some time frames for the work and numbers in place before signing anything.  I’m not in a rush to do this but have to be aware that once it goes on the market, I could be rushed.

After the realtor visit much of the last two days were focused on getting Kerri’s place ready to go.  We were working off a shared note to keep us on track as to what we did and have yet to do.  Kerri and I seem to make a pretty good team and knocked a lot of things out in a relatively short period of time.  I go back to work tomorrow for a lighting fast two day work week.  It feels like I have not been at work forever which is because I haven’t.  The last time I set foot in the office was 12 days ago.

That time off has been filled with so many memories starting with the awesome birthday surprise dinner, the California trip where I hung with formerly virtual friends as well as explored with Kerri, and then rolling straight into Christmas and all that it has contained.  As I stated at the beginning of this, my normal routines have been turned upside down recently.  You would think that as a person that usually functions best in defined situations I would find this unsettling.  It is, somewhat.  However to me it is a continuation of what I have been pushing forward with for all of 2022, doing the hard thing, because the power will come and the journey/reward is worth it.