Archives 2022

Sunday night I joined a big panel of fellow EUC hobbyists to talk about wheels.  It was the largest collection of streamers I ever was a part of.  At one point there were 10 people on at once which was nuts.  Usually when I live stream it’s just me, blabbing non-stop for 3-4 hours.  In this scenario I did way more listening as there were plenty of other people in the line up that were happy to talk.  Having to talk less meant I could drink more.  I finished off an entire six pack of Miller Lite.  It was a fun experience that I talk about in the video I made later in the day Monday.

I expected to wake up with a hangover Monday morning but I felt pretty decent.  It was a good thing because I made arrangements to go play pickle ball with a co-worker of mine at 9AM at the new park.  When I arrived no one was there.  10 minutes later a line of cars pulled up.  All of a sudden there were 12 people on the courts, luckily it was all doubles matches.

My buddy from work recently started pickle ball as well and really likes it.  His enthusiasm was a big part of why I finally decided to try it.  He has a bit of a tennis background which is obvious, his swing is much better than mine.  He also covers a lot more court than I do.  I am not all that quick, especially now with my achy joints.  I often rely too heavily on my long arms to reach balls awkwardly instead of moving my feet.  The wind was quite a factor, the one side of the court always lost the game, except the last one where we switched back and forth.  I managed to barely squeak out a 3-2 win.  It was a lot of fun and we both agreed to keep playing more often.  It’s good timing for me to try to pick up a sport with more opportunities for social interaction.

I forgot to mention that I added a new robot to my army.  It is a hard floor cleaning variety, the Irobot Braava M6.  I have had several hard surface cleaning bots over the last 10+ years.  The last three have used a similar technique where they spray the cleaning solution and then use an attached mopping pad to do the cleaning.  The M6 adds intelligence where it maps the room and eventually knows all of the surfaces it can clean, it will back away from carpet.  So far it has done a good job.  There are a couple spots it has gotten stuck that I need to address but overall I am at least initially happy with it’s performance.

Around mid-day Monday I was sitting at my computer when I saw an email from my neighbor across the street. (evidently she lost my phone number)  She asked if I could come over immediately.  She said their dog was having some sort of medical issue and her husband couldn’t lift him in the truck himself.  I dropped everything and headed over, their dog, Jack was less than 5 years old, a white lab.

When I got up to the garage Steve told me he had just taken Jack to the vet earlier in the day.  While he was there he got a shot for bordetella (also known as kennel cough) On the way home from the visit he had some sort of reaction that included him doing number two in the back seat of Steve’s truck followed by him acting like he was in the middle of a stroke.  Jack was on his side panting wildly but unable to move, it was a visual I won’t forget.  Jack was really overweight, 120 pounds according to Steve.  There was a bed sheet underneath him that we used to get him to the truck.  Getting him into the back seat was really hard since Jack was unable to move.  I lifted the front part of his body while Steve hoisted from the rear.  I felt terrible seeing Jack in this state.  Steve sped off to the vet.

Later I got word that Jack died on his way to the vet.  The news hit me hard.  I can only assume there was some sort of tie into the shot, although my neighbor said he had received it before.  Perhaps the additional weight played a factor as well.  All I know is it was a horrible 15 minutes of my life with a very unhappy ending.  It feels like all I have been doing for a good portion of the last year is dealing with one type of loss or another, it beats me down.

I wanted to keep busy to not dwell on Jack’s sudden demise.  I fired up the weed whacker and spent 90 minutes cleaning up the outer fence line of the property.  Since much of the vegetation is still dead from the cold snap it was much easier to do now compared to normal growing seasons.  After doing that I took Elsa with me to go fill the gas cans, on the way back we stopped at the park so I could get her out for a quick walk.  When I try to put the leash on her she acts terrified but once we are out and moving she is ok. Later I went out for that ride on my Sherman which included grabbing coffee and my THIRD visit to the park for the day, a new record.

Last night I was in VR with Randall for a couple hours.  We played miniature golf, ping pong and bowling.  Outside of a few ping pong matches I lost everything we played.  Despite my results we both had fun and will surely do it again soon.

Even though I have one more day in my three day weekend I thought I would pop in here to recap the last 48 hours.  I got back on the road bike Friday night for the first time in two weeks Friday night.  It’s getting less annoying because my body is more accustomed to the activity and the amount of evening daylight is slowly extending, keeping me out of total darkness for the ride.  I had a good session with a time and overall average speed that is probably damn close to the best I ever pulled off.

On Saturday after weeding Elsa and I went into the office.  I was trying to virtualize our main file and print server, something I failed at once before already.  I used some different tactics this time but still initially had a fail.  The virtual server wouldn’t boot so I brought the physical server back online.  During the afternoon I did some research into my issue.  I discovered with the way the boot set up was on this server, which came online many years ago, I needed to boot the virtual server to the Windows Server 2019 media so I could run some tools from the command line to adjust the boot behavior.  After doing another back up of the drives to a VHDX I was able this time to successfully bring up the virtual server and shut down the physical server, from my home office.  It always feels good to be successful at something you failed at previously.

I made a stop at Lowe’s to grab a set of curtains for the guest room which has had a naked window since Cindy moved out.  I thought $30 for a set of curtains was a little high for my needs but I grabbed a set with a bit of a pattern that I though sort of matched the bed cover.  I am absolutely awful when it comes to style/design, if I haven’t mentioned that previously.

I get home and open up the package.  As I am unfolding the curtains I realize there is only one??  I look more closely to make sure they aren’t just pressed together.  Nope, an examination of the package clearly shows only ONE curtain was included, WTF.  This made zero sense, why wouldn’t they sell as a set??  Who needs just one curtain?  I thought $30 for a set of curtains was a bit much, I now realized I only spent half of what it is going to cost me, sigh…  It’s odd that I have only now just learned the realities of curtain shopping after 54 years on the planet.

Saturday night was a geekfest with me playing WoW for a couple hours.  I hadn’t done it in awhile so I didn’t feel too guilty about it although there was a part of me that thought it was a pretty lame way for me to spend the night made for fun, socializing, and whatever comes with it, which leads me to the next subject.

As I mentioned a week or two ago, I still have been struggling mentally to get my bearings in regards to what my new reality is or should be.  This was the reason that I spoke to the counselor.  During that session I got some affirmation which was helpful but still, I have not found that magic switch to get life feeling good again.  Because of this I have continued to be introspective and have been comparing this to how I felt when Ali and I split.

During that split I was still neck deep in running club responsibilities.  Despite me jumping into online dating very early and very unsuccessfully after that split Ali and I were still hanging out as friends which I think made things easier in some ways but also brought some additional issues as time went on.  In a nutshell I was still doing a lot of things involving other human beings and I was doing a lot more thinking about what was next.  Now I need to be honest, even then there was a LOT of negative things I experienced during the year of being mostly single.  I found the online dating scene to be a lot more frustrating than fun. During that year I think I went on something like 13 first dates with only a handful of second ones.

So fast forward a bunch of years and I again find myself single but under very different circumstances.  I spent a lot of my time streamlining my life with the biggest cast off being my days as a race timer which consumed tons of time, created a lot of stress, and demands of me in multiple regards.  As time passed I found myself very busy but it was also mostly on things that involved no one in my former social circles and much more just things related to the relationship.  Once my mom passed away I really latched onto Cindy’s family and viewed them as an extension of my own.  The birth of DJ set that bond and closeness to an entirely new level.

As I was riding my V11 around today I pictured myself spending all of this time, money, emotion and effort building what I thought was a sturdy structure that would be able to withstand whatever tests were thrown it’s way.  Instead I feel like am walking down a street on a movie set where everything looks great but as soon as you peek around the corner you realize it’s all just a fascia, a seemingly normal front with very little behind it.  That is how I feel right now.  I know only I have the ability to change that mindset.  For the first time since the split I set up in a couple online dating apps, despite knowing that ultimately they are unlikely to produce the results I am looking for.  I need to start somewhere. The single curtain…..

Last night I did a video about the Firesak, a fire resistant bag that is designed to house your EUC.  Over the last few years there have been a number of lithium battery fires with electric unicycles.  Some of them have had devastating consequences, including total dwelling destruction.  When lithium batteries catch fire it is incredibly dangerous.  They burn at extremely hot temperatures as well as emitting a ton of toxic fumes.  In a lithium battery pack it becomes a chain reaction where one bad cell can wind up exploding every other cell in the pack.

The Firesak is an attempt to mitigate that potential damage.  It has four layers of fireproofing material in a “bag” construction.  You put your wheel inside on a stand when not using it and then zip it closed.  If something bad happens the hope is the bag takes the brunt of the fire, not it’s surroundings.  With the way I have my wheels stored currently I can’t really use the Firesak conveniently.  However I do have some ideas of storing my wheels in the garage now that only one vehicles is in there.  I just need to get some stuff cleared out first.

Today is Elsa’s 7th birthday, sort of.  Her exact birth date is unknown since she was 8 months old when she was adopted but this is close enough.  She has been my constant point of light in this time that has had a lot of darkness.  Coming home to her excited face while she bounces around is impossible to frown through.  My relationship with her is the closest thing I will likely experience to having a child of my own.  If I didn’t have her in my life right now I can’t imagine how I would be coping otherwise.  I talk/sing to her more than any human being in my day to day existence.   I’ll figure out some way to celebrate her birthday tonight although she will be quite content to just lay on the sofa with her head on my lap.

Yesterday I had a package jammed into my mailbox.  When I pulled it out I was immediately angry, it was an order that I had supposedly shipped to France back on the 4th.  There were no return to sender markings or anything indicating there was some sort of problem, it was just back in my mailbox.

So I go inside and pull up the tracking on the package to see what the F is going on.  As I am reading it’s tracking points I get even more annoyed.  For some unknown reason this went all the way to Los Angeles before coming back across the country only to come back to me.  Here are all the tracked locations:

Randall didn’t arrive at the house until mid-day Saturday.  That worked out pretty perfectly for me as I got my normal to do’s knocked out.  He pulled up as I was just unloading groceries from the truck.  Elsa was timid as usual although she warmed up much quicker than the last time she saw Randall some four years ago.  Sadie was happy to see Randall.  Seeing Sadie and her physical condition was a a bit of a shock for him.  The last time he saw Sadie she was basically normal.  Seeing her struggle mightily to take each and every step was unexpected.

I gave Randall a tour of the property, a LOT has changed since he was last there, more than I even realized.  When you turn back the clock to four years ago there is a ton of things that have transformed.  After giving him the new lay of the land we agreed to go try out the pickleball courts at the new park.  I just got a new racquet set and some balls last week and was eager to try out the sport so many people have told me about.  It was bright, sunny and hot when we got to the park.  It was too hot to be honest, the thermometer in the truck read something like 85 degrees.

When we started smacking the ball around to warm up it felt pretty weird.  The ball is very dead compared to other racquet sports I have played but you can put a lot of spin on shots in a way that is a hybrid between tennis and ping pong.  After hitting around for maybe 10 minutes we started the game.  There were some rules that I had a hard time getting used to like the one bounce rule which means the ball has to bounce once on each side before being able to attack a ball in the air.  You also can’t smash a ball if you are standing in the “kitchen”, the area right by the net.  It makes for longer rallies.

Serving was a bit weird for me too, you have to make sure you serve underhand where the paddle is not higher than your waist.  At first I was serving more sidearm which Randall informed me of.  The first game Randall beat me pretty badly.  I was having a hard time returning his deep and low serves.  I had a lot of unforced errors as I was still getting a feel for the physics of the game, just how hard of a swing and what angles I needed to use. The second game was a side out war that took forever that I eventually squeaked out for a win. I also won the third game.  It was funny how the trash talking for both of us came right back like we never skipped a beat.  It felt good.

The heat was really beating us down so we sat in the shade for a bit before resuming the match. Randall won another close game to tie us up 2-2.  Neither of us wanted to end in a tie so we did a 5th and final game.  I won it pretty easily but Randall was running out of gas, he hadn’t eaten since mid-morning and was feeling pretty tired.  I really enjoyed playing although the sudden stopping, starting and lunging was not something my body reacted well to.  My back and lower body felt pretty tattered for the next 24 hours.

We decided to go to the Bonehook Brewery for dinner.  I guess Randall has been a fan of their beer.  I had never been there despite it being only around a dozen miles away.  With it being Saturday night I was worried it would be stupid busy but it wasn’t bad at all.  We downed a couple IPA’s as we talked about life and the virtues of being single versus being not single.  Randall has had a number of long term relationships since I have known him but he also has spent even more time on his own.  At this point in his life he seems pretty convinced that he is happier with the latter.

I shared some of my feelings, struggles and challenges thus far.  Of course Randall or anyone else for that matter doesn’t have a magic pill to set everything right in my world but I think the more human beings I get to just simply talk to the better off I will be.  I certainly appreciated his willingness to sit and listen.  By the time we left the place a little after 8:30 it was nearly empty.  The mostly older crowd that dominated the seating when we arrived had all cleared out.

Saturday night I unleashed Randall into the world of VR.  He had never experienced it before.  Like pretty much everyone else I have shown it to, he was blown away.  He played a bunch of games including Beat Saber, Vader Immortal, mini-golf and ping pong.  I was being his virtual guide by connecting to the headset with my phone so I could see what he was seeing.  It’s always entertaining for me watching others try out VR.  He had a good time and will likely be getting one himself.

We woke up Sunday to steady rain, something I did not know was coming.  I originally thought we would be doing a road bike ride but the rain sort of washed that idea from my head.  Instead we did a coffee run and then Randall got some more VR time in which was funny.  It’s a good thing I have the external battery back for mine or it would have ran dead for sure.  Around 4PM we piled in the truck to take Sadie home.  I wanted to get back before the Super Bowl started.  After a very slow march into the apartment I made her supper and then we headed out.  She is having major oral surgery today so I knew it was going to be a tough few weeks for the old girl.

When we got back Randall was in VR right up to kick off the Super Bowl.  We had bought a couple frozen pizzas along with a few other items for our tiny SB “party”, it was fine with me.  I was just glad to have someone there to watch the game with besides Elsa.  I thought the game was very entertaining.  I thought some of the commercials were really funny and I didn’t dislike the halftime show as much as I expected to.  I had a slight preference for the Bengals to win since they never had done so before.  The Rams however took care of business with a long dominating drive as the clock wound down followed by the defense making the Bengals turn the ball over on downs.

After the game Randall was again in VR to try to attend a Foo Fighters concert.  Yes Meta had been promoting that the Foo Fighters would be doing a concert in VR at 11PM.  Randall was at the virtual door waiting but never was able to get in.  My assumption is the site was overwhelmed.   He tried for over 45 minutes to get in the door but it just was a no go, bummer.

Even though I took today off I set my alarm at 6:30 to see Randall off.  He had to leave by 7 to make an appointment back on the east coast.  I thanked him again for coming and we agreed that it won’t be four years until he returns this time.

I am in the middle of trying to knock out a ton of little tasks that I have been most procrastinating about.  I should get out and ride a wheel but I don’t think it’s going to happen.

Last night after work as I was taking the trash out Elsa and Sadie were in the front yard enjoying the cool temps as daylight was starting to fade.  Sadie has always loved just being outside and watching her surroundings.  While she was doing exactly that last night I snapped a couple pictures of her.  She’s a good girl.

As I mentioned previously, Randall is coming over this weekend to hang out and watch the Super Bowl.  I gave myself a break by taking off the following Monday as well.  I am hoping to have a good few days where there is no focus on chores or tasks and just hanging out.

I have not had a house guest in YEARS, which seems sort of crazy.  Visitors used to be a pretty regular occurrence. In recent years the main guest room was sort of repurposed and the other bedroom became the hobby room, stuffed with 3D printers and PEVs.  The guest room now is incredibly spartan with just a blow up queen bed, a chest of drawers and a tv with little else.  I think it will accommodate Randall’s needs as is but I hope to add a couple more things in the future.

We had some light rain yesterday on my way into work.  The Tesla was already dirty, the light rain kicked up another layer of filth on the car.  When I got home I did a speed wash of the car.  I have a certain dirt tolerance level.  Once it is exceeded action must be taken. I was able to get the grime cleaned up in less than 20 minutes, time well spent in my book.

So I had a HP laptop getting delivered yesterday.  I bought it on Amazon.  I had the Fedex tracking info.  I saw the Ring notification that the truck was there late in the afternoon so I assumed I would be coming home to the laptop sitting at my front door.  Instead I came home to a FedEx sticker on my door stating that someone has to be present for the delivery.  I was fcking annoyed.  Nowhere in the tracking or the order confirmation did it state this requirement.  If I knew this I would have put a sign in the door directing the driver to get the signature at the neighbor next door. I was frustrated.

I was walking back from the chicken coop area when I see a guy by the fence.  It was the Fedex driver, with a box in his hand.  He said he had stopped earlier but no one was there.  He did his other deliveries off our street and when he came back my way he saw the car in the driveway so he stopped again, awesome.  I was very surprised by his out of box effort to get me my package.  I appreciated it big time and thanked him sincerely for coming back.  It’s so rare nowadays for people to go the extra mile, it really stands out when it happens.

After it got dark Shugs showed up with Sadie.  Ali and he are going away for the weekend so I am dog sitting.  I immediately noticed how much Sadie was struggling to simply walk.  I also noticed she looked like she put on a few pounds, something I didn’t notice when I was up at their place to see the house construction.  I had gotten some positive feedback from Ali about Sadie’s response to physical therapy but man, she is struggling.  Perhaps it is because I see Sadie far less often now because of two things, Ali and Shugs moving up to Fort Myers and Cindy and I splitting up which means no one is home with her during the day.

When someone is home during the day Sadie would always be up and down, following you around the house/outside.  With no human around I think a lot of laying around/sleeping goes on with little else.  This fact is also the reason I am making efforts to get out with Elsa and take her on formal walks more often.  I think she too is spending most of the day just doing nothing instead of interacting with someone.

The other major issue Sadie has is her mouth.  She has multiple teeth issues, the end result is an absolutely abhorrent smell coming from her mouth at times.  She is actually going in for oral surgery on Monday to have any teeth that are really bad extracted.  When I was in bed last night the entire room pretty much smelled of her breath.  Despite her issues she seems happy to just be part of the scene.  Of course I feel sad seeing the dog that used to run laps around Nicki become more or less geriatric herself.  Time is a cruel, cruel taskmaster.

I spent some time multitasking between watching tv and setting up the new laptop.  It comes preloaded with Windows 11, Microsoft’s latest OS.  I had not had any prior experience with it although I heard about some of the changes, most of which seemed pretty cosmetic.  The centered start button/menu feels foreign and my immediate reaction is I am not a fan however that could just be because of it’s orientation being different from every Windows OS since the 90’s.  I was able to play some Hearthstone on it while laying in bed with the olympics on, a good time.

For most of my life I have not been the type that likes to engage in long drawn out conversations, especially when emotions are involved.  The amount of people where I feel comfortable doing this with is very, very small.  It’s not a trait I am proud of, it’s just the way I am. I also am not the type of person that likes to ask for help, in any regard whether it be financial, medical, physical, or emotional.  I have always been of the shut up and deal with it mindset, again not the best way to be in the big picture. Yesterday I tried to step outside those natural boundaries I have made for myself.

One of the many benefits of my job is they include free wellness counseling, on top of conventional medical insurance.  It allows you no strings access to a team of counselors to talk to about countless issues/subjects.  Despite it being over 6 months since the end of our relationship I still have not felt “well” overall.  I thought it could possibly be helpful to talk to a professional about the situation and my feelings.  I had some anxiety about the session because of the things I outlined in the first paragraph.

I came out of the other side with some more clarity.  Some of the things talked about or suggested I already knew but it was helpful to hear them come from somewhere else than my inner thoughts.  I told him I am a lifelong “fixer” and people pleaser which I have talked about before.  These traits have up and down sides. Depending on who you are interacting with, fixers can be interpreted as negative or controlling. People pleasers routinely get taken advantage of, and come back asking for more.  A lot of the talk was about being able to let things be, to not assist unless asked, to not keep looking backwards.  He also stressed there is no defined time period until negative feelings subside, it takes however long it takes.  Everyone is ultimately responsible for how they react to situations so I need to make as much of an effort as I can to change my personal narrative, regardless of external influences.

I felt I got some of the clarity I was looking for out of the session and did not schedule a follow up. It’s good to know if I feel the need, I have that support available to me.

Last night I talked to (Sir)Randall on the phone for close to an hour which is probably a recent record in phone call length for me.  I filled him in on the latest and greatest in my life as well as made plans for him to come hang this weekend for the Superbowl.  Randall has not been to my place in a loooong time.  If my research is correct the last visit could span all the way back to December of 2017.  There is some backstory connected that I won’t delve into here but needless to say, that is far too long.

It should be a fun weekend.  I just bought a set of pickle ball racquets that we could put to use at the brand new courts at the park next door.  I assume he will bring his bike for us to get some miles in as well.  I can also see some Nintendo Switch competitions and substantial beer drinking going down in addition.  The Super Bowl will just be the icing on the cake.

One thing I have done a piss poor job of since moving to Florida is building a large network of real friends. The closest friends I have in Florida live on the other side of the state. I have always been the type that focused most of my time and energy into my partner when I am in a relationship which left sparse resources for much else.  It’s one of my many poor decisions I have made in life.  I am working towards rectifying it.

Friday after work I felt good enough to get my 10 mile ride in.  The knee that I hurt running on Wednesday didn’t seem to mind the physics of cycling much.  My pace was on par with recent rides.  The rest of the weekend my knee still felt sketchy and the lower right quadrant back pain was a near constant shadow.

On Saturday mornings one of my tasks is washing the bedding.  Almost without fail Elsa likes to try to sabotage these plans by jumping onto the middle of the bed and staying there, despite my efforts to strip the bed.  It’s almost like a fun game for her at this point.  She looks so cute it’s hard to get angry with her for doing it.

When I went around and did the weeding on Saturday I also had my machete in hand.  It was used to assist in cutting out things that were killed from the extreme cold. The biggest thing that got cut down were the half dozen banana trees.  There are a lot of other things that took damage that I did not pull, giving them a chance to see if they recover. I also got more of the left over stuff that Cindy used cleaned up.  There are still a few things I need to redeploy, curb or throw out.

I did a Costco run on Saturday.  The place was absolutely packed.  Even so checkout was probably less than 10 minutes, they definitely do whatever they can to keep that river of humanity flowing as quickly as possible.

Over the weekend I started reading the first volume of the blog exports my dad has been giving me for years.  I have read them sparingly but never completely.  This book covers 2002 and 2003 which is incredibly 20 years ago at this point.  As I read some of the entries I found myself cringing at certain points.  Things I put out there then I would never do nowadays, my thought patterns have definitely matured since that point of time.  I guess that’s hard to avoid over the span of two decades. I think back then I thought it was somehow cool to be harsh and mean.  I don’t view it as cool anymore.  It is interesting to have that time of my life brought back into focus.  For example back then I was very into invading Iraq and criticized anyone that thought otherwise.  Of course it turned out the big lie fooled a lot of people, myself included.  We will see if I can make it all the way through volume 1 without being overwhelmed by embarrassment or shame.

On Sunday I took Elsa to the park again.  There were a couple soccer games going on so there were a decent amount of people present.  Elsa was driving me nuts, pulling like a bull, for no apparent reason.  We cut the walk shorter than I would have liked.  I just wish I could get her to calm down in these situations but there is nothing I do or say that seems to help.

I took my V12 out for a top speed run, something I have never done on this wheel.  Taking a one wheeled balancing device to speeds over 40MPH is nerve wracking for sure.  I did gear up fully for the ride but if I would go down at these speeds bad things will happen, regardless.  I did four runs, topping out at 41.3 MPH on the last one, the second fastest speed I have done on any wheel.  Despite the V12 being a smaller 16 inch wheel it still felt stable at these very high speeds. The speed limit on these side streets is 30MPH so I technically was speeding.

The rest of my Sunday was pretty chill, I watched some Olympics, some HBO Max, edited video and had Cindy stop by to pick up her mail and a few other items.  It was the first time I saw her in person in a long time.  It felt strange for it to feel strange, if you know what I mean.