One more, One reason

Last night on the way home I stopped at Sport Clips to get my hair cut once again.  I had yet a different stylist this time named Kathy.  It’s interesting comparing how each person goes about doing a skin fade style differently.  She was on the quiet side compared to the other two stylists I have had there but I felt she did a good job.  Paying someone to cut my hair makes me realize just how quickly my hair grows.

When I got home last night I looked at the half ripped apart hobby room and felt compelled to get back in there, despite not really wanting to.  Now that this genie is out of the bottle with dates and expectations I have to keep pushing.  Once again I wound up lugging out large things solo, this time being the desk that was in the room.  I pulled it out into the garage and will set it by the street tonight or tomorrow.  Last night the garbage can was put out and I stuffed it with more things from the room, the supply is endless. There is still a long, long way to go.

Tomorrow Frank is supposed to come to the house to pressure wash the exterior in preparation for painting it the following weekend.  He also wants to patch the high point of the ceiling in the main living space to prep for the interior painting which is tentatively scheduled for the 21st.  He will be there early which will get me up and running as well which is a good thing.

So when I became single during late summer 2021 I started a journey, clumsily at times of self analysis with a goal of pushing against long time boundaries that in many cases were entirely self imposed.  Some of these boundaries felt cemented into the ground at times but with consistent effort and pressure, even those started to move.  I had to work hard to get my mind moving in a forward direction instead of treading water or looking over my shoulder at what was in the past.  The more effort I put into positive thinking, more positive things started to come my way.  With a change in mental direction, new opportunities came with it.  Many of these carried a degree of discomfort with the latest and greatest example being my decision to actively try to sell my home, which is one of the biggest boundaries I have.

So you may ask, why do I feel the need to do these things?  You seem to have had a pretty good situation going, why not just be comfortable in what you already have, know, and expect? Why mess with an established good thing?  Because I want to keep moving.  To me happiness is not a static destination that you magically attain.  It’s a constant journey and it’s that journey where the satisfaction is to be harvested from, not a particular destination. My relationship with Kerri has been a catalyst to embrace change even further, not fear it.

I have spent too long being a mental prisoner to my past.  I’m going to keep moving forward, who knows where that momentum will take me.