A holiday unlike others

Yesterday I left work early to get stuff done. First off was getting a haircut for the holiday travel. I shot over to Sport Clips and got that taken care of quickly. I then stopped at Home Depot to grab some tree ornaments and two strings of icicle lights for outside. When I got home I wanted to get the new Christmas tree I have had in a box for a couple months set up. To make room for the tree I moved the dining room table to the open space I have in the kitchen. This was a very tight fit. I had to actually turn the table on it’s side to be able to barely navigate the somewhat narrow entrance to the kitchen.

This is a Mr Christmas tree that has Alexa integration. Setting the tree up was easy enough. I had the tree upright in 10 minutes or less. Getting the tree connected to Alexa was a little more challenging but I got it figured out and was soon able to change the color and patterns via voice control which I really like.

From the start of the tree process I was not in good spirits. I realized that this potentially will be my first truly solo Christmas in a very, very long time. Cindy and I split in September of 2021 but that Christmas I still celebrated with her daughter and DJ. Last year I was in a relationship over the holidays and at the time thought it was the launching point for something good. This year there is nothing really on the horizon and it pulled me down.

I tried to kickstart a festive and happy holiday mood by playing Christmas music but I shut it off after a few minutes. I had the trashcan nearby as I tossed out ornaments that were tied to past relationships which of course is not going to evoke happy feelings either. I wound up taking a task based approach where I just wanted to get it done instead of enjoying what historically is a fun thing. It sucked.

I went and grabbed dinner at the bar at Bruninas. Hanging and talking with some other people helped lighten the mental load a bit.

Today I will get the outside lights up, play pickleball, drop off Elsa at Ali’s and then figure out what I need to pack for Texas. The weather there appears to be on the chilly side for most of my visit. My flight takes off bright and early tomorrow at 7AM. The good news it gets me to Dallas before 10AM local time so I will be able to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with Torrin’s family.

I am hoping the trip serves as a good mental shot in the arm. I didn’t really think much about how the holidays could hit me this year, until they hit me. I need to keep busy, engaged and drunk.