Addicted, Wobbles, Fights, Pulling, Futile

If there was any doubt, I am officially addicted to pickleball. Over the 4 day weekend I played around 12 hours of pickleball. Despite heat indexes that crawled into triple digits I was out there smacking the ball around. I enjoyed it of course but I also went longer than I should have, my knees feel all kinds of sore here as Memorial Day weekend comes to a close.

I also have voiced concern on a live stream about how often I drink alcohol nowadays. I have gone out to eat and/or drank every day since Wednesday. Do I think I am an alcoholic? No. Do I drink much, much more than I used to? Absolutely. I know part of it is because I live so close to a variety of eating establishments that I go out to eat way more than I did previously which usually includes drinking. Part of it however I am sure is tied into other darker things that have gone down in the last year or so. Drinking helps me in my overall “f it” attitude when it comes to certain aspects of my life.

One of the projects I worked on over the weekend was installing a road tire on my new Begode Master. The swap went well where I used a new technique to get the new tire mounted utilizing zip ties. However the new tire seems to be a little bit wonky. Even after a bunch of massaging and reseating it has a wobble to it that I need to correct. Of course I did a video outlining the process.

Today while playing pickleball I had a loud and angry argument with some guy that kept screwing up the score. The first couple times I let it go but when he did it again I got tired of it and pointed out very clearly that he was wrong. This guy did not like my refusal to back down and the argument escalated to the point where we were face to face a couple feet apart. I was waiting for him to touch me. If he did things would have gotten real ugly, real fast. Evidently this guy has a history of being an asshole. Anyway the three other players in the game (including myself) told the guy we were done playing with him. He stormed off to the parking lot, still convinced he was right. Fck him.

Over the weekend I received my new doorway pull up bar. Since moving to my new house I have missed the luxury of having an easy way to do pull ups like i had at the old place that had the bar park I built myself. The doorway bar set up I bought seems decent and will allow me to drop in random pull up sets pretty much whenever I want which will be a big plus for my overall strength routine.

On Sunday night I met up with my vball buddy and his wife as well as other people I met from the salsa class. We went to a trivia night at a local bar and had a good time drinking, eating and being bad at trivia. However I also had moments of pause as I watched the other married couples acting like happy couples should.

It made me think about how at this age I thought I would have had everything figured out. Hell five years ago I thought I already did. I remember wondering why some people struggled to find a relationship they could be content within. I had been in long term relationships almost non-stop for 30+ years so I thought these people that were not in one had some sort of issue. Fast forward to present day where I have floundered about for coming up on three years, trying to find a person worthy of investing in, and failing, repeatedly.

I have soured on the process, so much so that I am not doing much to change my relationship status. My attitude is basically if it happens, it happens but I am not going to chase it. I know I am a good human being with desirable qualities. Hopefully something organically comes my way but I am not going to aggressively hunt for it as being alone also has it’s distinct advantages. So much so that it is going to take a special person to make me want to move away from it. Maybe it’s all futile, maybe it’s not. All I know is I can’t allow myself to fall into the same sort of traps I have in the past.

I finished watching the two seasons of Iron Fist on Disney plus. The main lead is annoying where he flip flops regularly between being a king fu master to a schlub routinely. There is too much whining and not enough Iron Fisting, if you know what I mean. I can see why it was killed after two seasons. I may go back and finish up the seasons of Daredevil I never saw.