Confidence, Closed

Last night was my first time at volleyball for a couple weeks. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect although I knew that physically I was feeling better than normal. It reflected in my play which I would describe as confident. I made only a few unforced errors and as usual was the most sand covered player on the court. Despite being pleased with my play overall our team lost every game but one.

My team once again included the woman I described several weeks ago. The one that ignored three progressively louder OUT calls only to play and shank a ball out of bounds. She seems like a nice woman but that doesn’t translate into my wanting to play with her. Her skill level is not very good and confident is the last word I would use to describe her play. I found myself getting very frustrated by the end of the night to the point where I was having a difficult time masking a physical reaction to some of her mistakes.

Yesterday I had a rather emotionally full day. Once again I found myself scratching my head trying to make sense of things that simply defy rational explanation. That process leads nowhere positive and at this point in life if I am not doing things to steer myself towards positivity and happiness I am doing myself a disservice. Hell I even had my ex once again trying to get some sort of virtual foothold in my life yesterday which once again defies logic, to me.

I hope to have a fun weekend which includes pickleball and a party with some of my volleyball friends Saturday night. It will be the first weekend in awhile where I can refocus, aligning my priorities and goals where I concentrate more on what I need instead of what I give.