Success, Failure, Stan’s

I started off my weekend working late Friday night replacing the network switches in our office.  Originally I had visions of it running into a two day thing where I would have to come in Saturday morning to finish it up.  Amazingly, things went incredibly smooth.  We had very few issues and I was out the door, on the way home by 8:30 Friday night.  I was quite pleased with myself.

On Saturday Ali had to run errands for a good portion of the day so I played some WoW and worked on stuff around the house.  Luckily we got some rain during the week so watering the landscape was crossed off the list.  One of my jobs was the removal of our nearly month and a half old Christmas tree.  It had started dropping needles pretty badly during the previous week or so, although there was a section of the tree that still looked quite green and healthy.  Originally I was planning on waiting for Ali to help pull the tree out but I decided to go it alone.  Well once I started the removal process I got a true picture of just how dead most of the tree was. 

I put a trashbag on the floor right next to the stand and lifted the tree out and plopped it on the plastic.  Then with one hand on the plastic, the other on the trunk of the tree, I drug it towards the front door.  There wasn’t major needle droppage up to the door, but once I hit the door and had to squeeze the tree through the door jamb, a needle blizzard occurred.  Needles flew off the tree, burying the tile, the front step and my sneakers with dead pine needles.  It was amazing, I actually took a picture of the front door after I pulled the tree through.  I will post it later.  I drug the tree to my normal tree burial point and chucked it in with some remorse.  It was one of the best trees we ever had, it was sad to see it go.  Right up to the point where I pulled it out, Buttons the cat was lying underneath it.  I know the cats miss it.

One of the other things I did on Saturday was replace the battery and the positive battery terminal on the Tacoma, hoping to eliminate the starting problem once and for all.  So I carefully performed the minor procedure, put the new terminal on, connected it to the brand new battery, made sure it was nice and tight and turned the key with great anticipation of the engine roaring to life when I turned the key.  I get behind the wheel, turn the key, CLICK!  DAMN IT.  Well this definitely turned the cause squarely onto a failing starter or more specifically a starter solenoid.  I resigned myself to taking it to the garage.

Well later in the day, shortly after Ali got back, I got some inspiration.  Hey I am sort of mechanically inclined and have tackled various automotive repairs over the years, I can do a starter, it’s only two bolts.  So I do some quick internet research about replacing the starter on the Tacoma.  They advised pulling the passenger front tire and accessing it through the wheel well.  Ok no problem.  So I lug my jack, my creeper, wrenches and sparse socket set down the driveway, ready to do battle.  I was not really dressed for this ordeal, I had on jean shorts. 

Well let’s just say that attempting to replace the starter on a 99 Tacoma has made the “things I never want to do again” list, along with laying ceramic tile, getting hernia exams and buying 88 Corvettes with salvage titles.  What a f’in joke.  So the first steps in removal were to remove the negative lead from the battery and then remove the main cable on the starter itself.  Check, I was able to do that without much issue.  Next step, remove the other lead to the starter, hmmm I saw one connection to it, but it doesn’t look like a thick enough wire.  Ok well I guess I can disconnect that later.  Trying to access the starter was extremely frustrating.  The starter is obviously already installed on the engine when it is dropped into the frame.  They made access to it require either a necessity to have tiny little hands that bent all sorts of unnatural ways or to possess some sort of exotic tool set that was able to get around all the immovable lines, tubes and other metal in close proximity to the starter.

Well anyway, what I read was there were two bolts to remove.  The only two bolts I saw that were obviously removable were two real long ones that held one piece onto the base.  The only thing I had to fit the bolt was a wrench.  Getting the wrench in there was a small miracle, turning the bolt with it required extreme patience as I only got a throw of a few inches each time before the end of the wrench hit something.  But eventually I got them both off.  The thing it was holding on, pulled off but was being held on by some mystery cable in the back, presumably the other lead to for the electrical hookup.   I felt, tugged, and adjusted for a good 15 minutes trying to get the thing out, I just couldn’t do it.  In the process I was getting absolutely covered in dirt and grime, jamming my appendages into the wheel well awkwardly. 

 Well I was very frustrated at this point.  It was the feeling of desperation that you know you are far enough into a project that either direction you go, to completion or back to the where you started is going to be a pain in the ass.  I went back inside and looked for more complete info on the net with maybe some pictures.  I found some pictures and the pictures showed me that what I removed the bolts to was just part of the starter, not the whole thing.  I saw pics of the two bolts I was SUPPOSED to remove.  Ok great, well let’s go see how this goes.

My tool set is not great, and my socket set specifically is very sparse, I have almost no metric sockets and Toyotas of course use all metric bolts so I was trying to use a socket that was as close to 14mm as a 9/16 socket will get you.  Bolt number one was all I even bothered attempting.  I spent another 10-15 minutes trying to find a way to turn the thing.  It was tucked up behind some metal transmission lines and exhaust pipes.  The 9/16 socket sort of fit but my standard, crappy socket driver just could not fit into the space and angles I had available.  It was so frustrating.  I had a 14mm wrench but there was no way to get it into the tiny little space.  Well I had it, I admitted defeat and decided my only course of action was to retreat, to button it all back up and hope it still works at least as well as it did.  I was running low on daylight so I had to hurry up.  It was equally difficult getting what I had apart back together but just as it was getting too dark to see much I got it buttoned back up.  I slapped the key in and turned it, eh a click again, I guess that is good enough.  I told Ali of my defeat and resignation that it has to go to the shop.  I felt like a failure for a good portion of the weekend afterward.  It came down to tools, if I had a socket set with every sort of extension, size and angle available I may have been able to get it.  However it didn’t make me feel any better.  After my ordeal I pulled out my extended warranty papers.  I bought the warranty when I bought the truck.  The clock in my head told me it had been more than 5 years but I wanted to be sure.  Yep, it expired in October 2006.  It figures, I never had to use the warranty.  It looks like things broke right on que.

 Later in the night I had another taste of failure when for the life of me I could not get my Tivo to read video files off my pc like it was supposed to.  I f’d and f’d with it.  I had told Ali we could watch a movie I downloaded on the Tivo.  She got into position, I fired it up and could not get it to work.  Madly I scrambled for a few minutes while Ali waited for me to get it working to no avail.  This, piled onto the Tacoma failure really made my mood rather miserable. I also did some reconfiguration on the network cards on my server which gave me fits for a good hour or so.

On Sunday we were invited to go to a place named Stan’s in Goodland.  Goodland is a tiny, old Florida style town, similar to Everglades City.  I had never heard of Stan’s but evidently it is a well known hangout that is often frequented by bikers and other laid back people looking for good music, fun and a scene that borders on crazy.

  Goodland is a good haul from town and as you approach it you drive down roads that looked like they were cut into the middle of nowhere.  However we immediately noticed there were lots of cars and motorcycles all going the same way, presumably to Stan’s.  There is one way into and out of Goodland.  We turned the corner and saw a mass of people and cars parked wherever they could find a spot.  Stan’s was impossible to miss.

Luckily our one friend was able to find a table in the very crowded eating area.  They had a large outdoor table area as well as some under cover, and indoors.  It reminded me a bit of a large scale Snook Inn.  The crowd of people there was very diverse.  Bikers, young, old, Florida natives and snowbirds filled the place. Lot’s of people didn’t sit and just stood and drank.   Our waitress Maureen, an older woman probably in her 60’s, found us and brought us some alcohol to start off.  How she managed to keep stuff straight is beyond me.  The environment there was just a few steps away from chaos.  After we were on our second round of drinks, the owner, Stan took the stage.  Stan is an old guy, probably in his 70’s at least, but his persona was just brimming with energy, fun, humor and friendliness.  Our friend that came with us and whom had been to Stan’s many times was explaining to us some of traditions, one of which was the singing of the star spangled banner.  After a few jokes and well wishes, Stan had everyone stand for the singing of the song, which was a recording.  All of the several hundred people stood at attention as the song played.  This was not the star spangled banner most of us know.  The song was sung in a very drawn out manner and had additional verses that I had never heard before.  It was the longest song I ever stood for, probably closer to ten minutes than five, it was crazy.  A lot of the people in front of the stage were singing along while holding their hand over their hearts.  There was one older, bald guy I watched repeatedly through the song.  The entire time the song was going he was tapping his hand over his heart.  The song wrapped up and the entertanment began.  The music was loud and had a country flair.  I didn’t mind it but the volume made it necessary to pretty much yell if you wanted to talk to someone across the table.

There were all sorts of interesting people there both as patrons and Stan’s employees.  One was Mullet Mary. Mary is an older than dirt, chubby woman who was wearing a cowgirl outfit with lots of cleavage showing and a skirt that flew up way too often.  She gyrated around the stage in a stripper-eque fashion, embarrassing lots of people along the way, she was very funny.  There was also was Island Woman, a lady who evidently designed her own clothes.  She walked around the seating area the entire time modeling and pitching her clothing.  Each time you saw her go by she had on a different set of clothes and a matching pair of wacky looking sunglasses.

Eventually we got around to ordering food.  There were no real vegetarian meals on the menu besides french fries but Ali asked the waitress if they could just make her a grilled cheese.  The food came out faster than I expected but there was no grilled cheese.  Maureen the waitress apologized and said they wouldn’t make the grilled cheese.  We protested and asked why not.  She said she thought it was dumb and she was going to go back in there and give them hell.  I guess she did because a few minutes later a grilled cheese on a hamburger bun came rolling out, it was funny.

The rest of the time there we just enjoyed ourselves.  I put away four beers or so.  I was trying to drink myself into a better mood which was admittedly still sour form the prior days events.  Hell I was less than thrilled with the idea of going to Stan’s but I am certainly glad I did.  Ali drug me over to the Stan’s gift shop where we looked at the wacky souvenirs.  I tried on a couple silly hats that Ali took pictures of me with them on.  The biggest problem I had while I was there was that I was cold.  I had on shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt.  The temp was only right around 70 with a very persistent cool wind.  I was quite cold when the sun went behind the clouds.  The trips to the bathroom were interesting.  The toilet stall had no door, thankfully noone was doing a number two when I used the urinal.  The bathroom had a smell that was high on the nasty scale.  I would expect no less. 

We took it all in, enjoying the various people making spectacles of themselves.  It really was an environment that you couldn’t help but to have fun at.  As the afternoon went on it got fuller and fuller to the point where the area around the stage was jammed with standing patrons all with smiles on their faces and drinks in their hands.  Eventually we got ready to head out.  We thanked our friends for recommending Stan’s to us.  It definitely jumped up high on the “must take visitors to” list.  It is one of a kind. 

Sunday evening I finally figured out how to watch a downloaded movie on the Tivo.  However I messed up the formatting a bit so the movie we watched “My Super Ex-Girlfriend”, which was in 16:9 format, got compressed to 4:3 format, making most things look skinnier and taller than intended.  Eh it didn’t matter, the movie was lame no matter what format it was in.  Weak plot, no real laughs, just a bad movie.  The only good part was it was 90 minutes long.  C-, maybe even a D+

This morning the first order of business was to get the truck repair addressed.  I called AAA to arrange for a tow.  I tell them it is at my house and I needed it towed to the garage I usually go to.  She takes the info and says, oh I’m sorry, you only have the basic membership, it only covers a tow of up to 5 miles…  the garage is 19 miles from your house and they charge you an extra 4 dollars a mile beyond 5 miles.  Well that is lame.  She said she could find a closer garage but I told her I wanted to take it to the garage I am comfortable with, I’ll eat the 50 bucks or so it would cost me.  In my mind I was trying to figure out how valuable this AAA membership is I have been paying for religiously for the last two decades.  The woman said the towing company should be there within an hour, maybe sooner. Woah!  I told her I was at work and would need at least 40 minutes to get home to meet the tow truck.  She said ok, she would make a note on the call that I would not be home for at least 40 minutes.  Ok great. I hang up.

As soon as I hung up my next call was to the garage, before I could even get an answer from them, my cell phone rings, it’s AAA.  A different woman said she was just calling to tell me that the tow truck would be there in 15 minutes.  What the hell?  I annoyingly told her that I JUST hung up with someone else from AAA and told her I needed at least 40 minutes to get home.  “Oh, it doesn’t say anything about that”  Well that is what I just told her.  The rep tells me that she would just cancel the call and I should call back when I got home.  I am extremely annoyed but had no options, “Fine”.  I hung up, gather my stuff and jump into the party van to head home.

The van has been acting up again.  The random, strong vibration issue has returned.  It is very strange.  It will be motoring along fine when all of a sudden I will feel a mild vibration quickly grow into a very strong vibration.  You would think I was rolling on tires made of wood when it is at it’s worse.  I will come to a stop, take off again and it won’t happen, the next time it may or may not.  Obviously something is f’d up. Trying to explain it to a garage and having them track it down is another frustrating situation that I will have to deal with on the horizon, but not today, I just dealt with my jaw rattling for portions of the drive home.

So I get home, no tow truck there , I guess that is good.  Even though I tried starting the truck at least 20 times on Saturday, I got in once again and threw the key in.  Click, again, click, again click….  once in awhile instead of a click I would get a tiny bit of motor turn and then click.  I went into a starting frenzy, I turned the key back and forth rapidly, non-stop, hoping for a miracle where the starter would align just right to get the motor started.  I bet I clicked that damn thing 50 times.  Then a miracle happened, the stars aligned and it started! Wow, I could hardly believe it.  I left it running and quickly ran in to call AAA to tell them to cancel any calls they had in for me for a tow.  I drove the car down to the garage and dropped it off.  They were very busy but were willing to let me leave it there.  They would try to get to it today.  I just got the call that it is done already.  After they relieve me of 300 bucks I will be back in business.