Back

Well I am back at work and feel better, although I still am weak.  No 300 until at least Friday.  I slept through the night last night although I had some problems falling asleep initially.  I stayed up till 11 watching part of Rocky V.

During my time home yesterday I spent some time feeling sorry for myself.  I was thinking about how it is unbelievable that I am going to be 40 YEARS OLD in a few months.  It just seems surreal to me.  I thought about my state of being.  I am financially secure, have a house in a desirable area to live, a pool, a dog, a wife, nice car, blah, blah, blah.  Minus the kids, all the stuff average Joe blow guy is supposed to strive for I guess.

 But I see other people my age and they seem so much more mature than I am.  It freaks me out sometimes.  Am I really just a slacker that doesn’t want to accept the weight of being a responsible adult that plans families, retirement strategies and aging gracefully?   

I think these thoughts all come from the fact that I have no major goals to push for right now to distract me from the descent into the 2nd half of life….