Down

I have been feeling in one of those downward sections of the roller coaster also known as life. I described last week my self perceived happiness level as being a solid 5 out of 10, not a great number. I think there are various components to this.

First off the issues with lower body pain, most noticeably with my knees is lingering on. Today despite being on three Advil I basically limped my way to the pickleball court and had poor mobility once I was on it. It’s frustrating. A couple months ago my body felt like it was holding up much better than it is currently. Right now it seems like I am being held together by rubber bands and bubble gum.

I have talked forever about the mental and/or emotional struggles that have rolled through my life for quite awhile. I think the most frustrating part is a lot of it can be boiled down to a lack of discipline on my part, something that I normally try to adhere to in most areas of my life. In very simple terms I think there is too much of me doing too much, without the reciprocity required to maintain any semblance of balance. The fault however for this is squarely on my shoulders, it begins and ends with me with what I am willing to do and/or accept.

Does writing these feelings/thoughts out fix anything? No, only actions tied to these words matter. Bottom line is I have not been feeling all that great and nobody is coming to save me except me, myself and I.