Well I have been trying

Well I have been trying to hold out on blogging this, hoping that I would be able to reverse it quickly so I could act like it didn’t happen. Doesn’t lok like it is going to be quick so I might as well lay it out. My wife works in a nursing home where the humane society brings animals through every week for the residents to interact with. A nice idea. However, yesterday I get a call from my wife saying that there was an adorable puppy that she loved and wanted to adopt. I said that is nice dear, you know we don’t need any other animals. We already have 2 cats and 2 birds that get along relatively well. After some protesting from her that was it. I got 2 more calls that morning with more begging about the dog. She wanted me to at least come over to look at it. I knew doing so would be subjecting myself to hoardes of women fawning over the puppy saying how adorable it is and how we simply must adopt it. Against my better judgement, I went over and saw the puppy. It is a cute puppy like most puppies are. However, seeing it did not suddenly make me change my mind and want to adopt it. My wife and I had a prolonged discussion about it in the parking lot. I told her I just didn’t think it was a good idea. She was very upset. The humane society lady said she would hold the dog until 2pm and if we were interested we could call. Well after more talking I left it that we were not going to get the dog. Ali was disappointed and probably a little ticked at me considering all the stuff she lets me do but still, I held my ground.

Well, as soon as I got back to the office it was still on my mind. I really hate disappointing Ali on things. Would a puppy be so bad? I did some quick research on the internet. Yea seems like a reasonable dog. So I make the fatal mistake and call her back at work, 15 minutes before the deadline. I hem and haw but tell her it is up to her and if she wants the dog it is ok. She is estatic, overwhelmed with excitement. She makes all the arrangements and the dog is back in her office by 4pm. The fun is about to begin.

Of course our gym plans for after work had to be cancelled because we had to go get “supplies” The puppy was very good natured in the car. We got to the pet store and loaded up with 100 bucks worth of food, treats, beds, crate training dvd and toys. Even though we now had the puppy in our possession, my feelings about the whole thing did not change. It just felt wrong. We get home.

Next, over to the neighbor’s to pick up their unused dog crate. They have 2 puppies of their own and are thrilled with the idea of us now having one. Ali proudly shows off our new canine. I nervously pace. It still feels all wrong. I lug the crate back home and set it up. Ali decks it out with all the accessories. The cats come around the corner to greet us and stop, paralyzed by what they see. They don’t leave the front rooms for the rest of the night. That is a problem since their litterbox and food are located close to where the dog crate is. The night is spent taking the dog out and then trying to loosely follow our normal routine. We quickly find out that our normal routine is no longer going to work. One of us needs to be watching at all times to make sure that she is not going to relieve herself on the carpet or to stop her from chewing the leather furniture and anything else she deems fair game for her teeth. We can’t both just sit back and enjoy ourselves. My allergies started to kick up as well, something I am very unaccustomed to anymore. If I had a bad feeling before, I had a very bad feeling now.

It’s bedtime. Now only one of us can be back in the bedroom at a time because we don’t want the puppy in there but someone needs to be watching it. So we rotate shower duty. Then when it is time to put her in the cage I suggest that Ali take her out one final time just in case she needs to go to the bathroom. She says she thinks she will be ok. Earlier, Ali mentioned that she had not even heard the puppy bark yet. The puppy proved she was quite the noise maker once we put her in her crate, closed the door and left the room. You would think someone broke into the house and was stabbing the dog to death. It was horrible. 1,2,3 5 times Ali goes out and tries different things to comfort the dog. None of them work. As soon as she leaves, the unignorable howling continues. By now I am pinching myself hoping this is a nightmare that I can easily wake up from. On Ali’s last trip out she was out for awhile, so I went out to see what was going on. My first step out the bedroom door goes right into a big puddle of puppy pee on the carpet. Evidently while Ali was dragging a mattress out of the spare bedroom to put on the kitchen floor, the puppy left a little love puddle. Told ya we shoulda took her out again. I told Ali that it was ridiculous to have to sleep on the kitchen floor with the dog. She insisted. I trudged back into the bedroom feeling worse than ever. I had a hell of a time falling asleep. My mind was filled with nothing but puppy problems and how this impulse decision is going to affect everything we want to do for 15 years. I eventually fell asleep somehow but then awoke 3 hours later and tossed and turned for 2 more trying to get puppy thoughts out of my head. It was the worst night of sleep I have had in years.

The alarm clock sounds off. I feel like a zombie. Double check, nope Ali is not in bed with me, I guess it isn’t a nightmare. I go out and there is Ali, awake with the puppy. The puppy slept well, Ali did not. She got to do a 4am trip outside. I can tell Ali is frazzled. She starts crying and feels dumb for doing such a thing as adopting an 8 week old puppy on a whim. I console her. She indicates that it may be best to return the puppy and just chalk it up to a mistake. Of course inside I am very happy to hear her speak these words but can’t be too excited about it. She said we could drive separately and she would take the puppy back to the shelter. That was fine with me. After we took our alternating showers (one watching puppy) and were getting ready to leave, she asked if I could come with her to return her because she was so upset. Sure thing, no problem. It soon progressed to hmmm maybe I should take her to work with me and talk to people about it, call the Humane Society and get some advice. I knew I was in trouble. I talked to her once in the morning and got the indication that the peer pressure and guilt was making her rethink her decision to return the puppy. I tried to sway her back my way with reminders of how life altering this whole endeavor is. She said she would think about it more. I talked to her a few hours later and her decision is we need to give it a fair shot and keep the puppy over the weekend to see how it goes. Again I protest and give all indications that I was not at all happy with the decision. But she said that was the only way she could feel right about it. So, we have a full weekend of puppy madness at hand. I can only hope sleep depravation, pet stain scrubbing and a few chewed up household items will be enough to bring my wife back to the side of sanity.

Whew…. I’m so tired…

Girls beat the guys again in Survivor last night. What an embarrassment. Chumps.