Yesterday was my buddy Brian’s birthday. Brian is the guy I play volleyball with and who has recently taken a big interest to pickleball as well. They invited me to play again last night but I passed to let me knees recover a bit more since I am supposed to play volleyball tonight. I did however join him and his wife afterward at the Tacos n Tequila up in North Naples after they got done playing.
It was Brian’s 57th birthday, making him a few months older than I am. As usual we had a good time hanging out while enjoying food and drink. I wound up not getting out of there until shortly before 10PM. When I got home I didn’t get to bed until close to midnight. On the bright side I was so tired that I went to sleep without a sleep aid for the second night in a row and managed to sleep relatively well, albeit for less time than optimal.
Last year I posted some esoteric shit about water, rocks and ripples. As was the case for pretty much all of 2023, most negative things that went down were connected to the same source material which is what this was in regards to.
Yesterday I pulled the trigger on buying tickets to fly to California in the middle of July. The main reason behind it was to attend Larry’s summer party. I have attended his Christmas party in the past so I figured why not? I’ll be out there for 5 days which should give me plenty of time to see, ride and hangout with my friends on the west coast. I haven’t decided where I am going to stay while there yet but I have a little time to figure that out.
This will be the third time I am going out there and the first time I will be doing so solo. The last two trips I went with my ex. Last years trip was an absolute cluster f where I basically had to hide the fact I was going from the world because of her issues. We broke it off around a week after returning. Looking back, it was pure insanity which is the way I would categorize much of my decision making when referring to her. I am approaching 6 months post madness and still am finding myself dwelling on aspects of that mess.
I did a rather brief live stream last night whose primary focus was to promote people joining Dawn’s YouTube channel as members. She had just turned that option on a day or two prior. I have had membership for a number of years and currently have 24 members. Being an attractive female, I am expecting Dawn to get many more members than I have pretty quickly which is a good thing.
Overall the live stream was a bit on the lame side. I didn’t have a ton of people in it since it was unannounced and a Tuesday night. My energy also was lacking due to my overall poor state of mind. I found myself just wanting to go to bed. I talked a bit about my funk during the stream, not that it will correct anything.
For the first time in a very long time I went to bed without any sort of sleep aid, no unisom, no edibles. I have been feeling plenty tired lately so I thought I would see how it would go. Surprisingly it went well. I slept pretty soundly through the night and was even able to go back to sleep rather easily after getting up to pee. I will see if I can continue to sleep normally without an assist. It would be my preference to do so.
Last year I was tacking patching the multitude of holes in the walls and trying to match up the paint afterward, with varying degrees of success and failure.
Between my pushing myself too far physically and the pattern of staying up late I have been feeling a bit run over recently. When I got home yesterday I was in the bedroom changing. It started to rain so I laid in my bed just to watch the much needed precipitation fall in the back yard for a couple minutes. Almost 90 minutes later I woke up. Luckily I didn’t have any firm commitments for last night or else I may have slept through them. To me the unexpected nap was a testament to just how beat up I am feeling in multiple ways, both physically and mentally.
There is no full moon in the sky to attribute any of this to, I’m just not in a good or positive state of mind recently. When this type of valley occurs my typical response is to just try to keep busy, occupying my mind until the positive energy switch once again is flipped on. Until then I can fake it until I make it.
I once again extended myself too far with pickleball. Last night as I tried to walk I wound up sliding my right foot under me instead of trying to take a normal stride, it hurt that much, but let me rewind the clock.
Friday night instead of doing a happy hour I was quite content to just stay at home, make a pizza and enjoy a Mexican Coke. I had to stay awake until almost midnight to initiate a process at work. I stayed awake by playing WoW and watching some 1980 Shogun. I fell asleep very quickly after the remote process was done. I have been going to bed late consistently in the last few weeks which has been leaving me in a sleepy state more often than I wish.
On Saturday morning I played pickleball. My knees already had a degree of soreness from the prior week of activity but I was out there for another three hours almost. I was feeling beat up, my knees had had enough. To add to the fun I accidentally kicked the leg of a table with my left foot, leaving my left pinky toe painful and a gross shade of purple.
During the day I worked on several things including taking apart my Master for the second time, hoping I would find an obvious reason why the tire was rolling crooked. I did not. The wheel will remain in it’s current form until the new tire I ordered shows up and I get a chance to install it.
So Saturday evening the other group of people that I have been playing pickleball with asked me to play, again. At first I declined, citing that I played earlier in the day and was already hurting. However they didn’t give up easily and I eventually agreed to go. I popped my second set of Advil for the day and headed to Veterans Park to play in North Naples, a place I had not played at in a long time.
Play was fun. Instead of filling up my water bottle with water I chose to use Cayman Jack instead to hydrate. The six of us had fun playing and then went to the Tacos and Tequilla up there for more drinks and dinner. By the time we got up from our high top table I could hardly walk. Each step with my right leg radiated pain, I knew I had pushed it too far. I also knew I was supposed to play Sunday morning once again as well as do a swamp ride Sunday afternoon with Garrett who was visiting from out of town. I was not quite sure how I was going to get through both of those obligations with how I was feeling. The answer was, with Advil.
I was up really late once again Saturday night and was not happy to hear the 6:30 alarm go off. I felt like shit. The first 10 minutes out of bed I shuffled around with my right leg and lower back feeling like hell. However I just kept moving, took more Advil and headed to the courts thinking how if I was a sane individual I would have just texted my friend Sue and told her I couldn’t make it. Nope, my sense of obligation over ruled my personal aches and pains.
I did not play particularly well which did not surprise me. I was just looking to survive the session, conserving whatever I had left to do the swamp ride later. Once the Advil wore off I was back to limping around but I didn’t have much time before I took round two as Garrett showed up around 2PM. He flew down from western PA but had his wheel shipped to my house ahead of time which worked out well. He is actually going to be spending most of this week in the Orlando area with his girlfriend but he came right from the airport to my place to start his trip off with a swamp ride.
Shortly before we were ready to drive to the swamp in the truck it started to rain hard at my place. I assured Garrett that just because it was raining here that does not mean it would be raining at the swamp. I told him I wasn’t worried about getting rained on anyway which he was glad to hear because he was really looking forward to the ride.
When we parked at the nearby park out there it was not raining although there were threatening skies very close by. We rolled into the swamp knowing it could be a wet experience. Ironically the swamp itself was quite dry. The water levels had dropped dramatically since I went in there with the ET Max somewhere around a month ago. We barely have had any rain during that time period.
The trail was in good shape with only a mild amount of gators spotted, somewhere close to 20. Instead of staying by the path as we approached all the gators instead decided to jump in the water as we got near. About half way into the ride it started to rain, light but steady. The rough terrain was hell on my lower body, even with suspension. Once we exited the 13 mile swamp loop and got back on hard surfaces the rain intensified. By the time we got back to the truck both Garrett and I were pretty soaked but neither of us really cared. He really enjoyed the ride.
On the way back we stopped at my original DD to grab some coffee before heading back to the house. When we did get back we had a bit of a show and tell session. I let Garrett try out my Mten Mini as well as the One Wheel. He put together his off road unicycle, yes the type you pedal, and showed me how he rides it. He started riding regular unicycles late last year and has been loving it.
After an hour or so he packed up his rental car to head out. I presented him with this gator ride sticker that I have been handing out to swamp riders. He again expressed his great appreciation for riding with him which was nice and mutually appreciated. It was yet another positive experience when I meet up with people that know me from my YouTube channel.
I spent the rest of the evening editing the video from the ride. By the time I got out of my office chair the advil had worn off and I could hardly walk, again.
This weekend made it clear that I simply have to be more reasonable when it comes to what I expect my body told hold up to. In addition to the sore knees and back my feet hurt as well from all of the play. Hell even my right elbow and forearm are feeling tender from all of the paddle swinging. It’s going to be hard to say no to playing but if I keep on the path I am currently I could wind up injuring myself in a way that a couple Advil will no longer mask.
The good news is between the various activities and limping around in pain this weekend it left less time for me to dwell on thoughts that don’t serve my greater good.
Last night I played volleyball despite having a lot of lower body soreness going in. I took three Advil prior to playing which kept me functional. When we started it was just brutally warm and humid. I was soaked and covered in sand after one game. Luckily some clouds rolled in later. Unluckily they were rain clouds that wound up cutting our session down a little bit, which was fine with me. My body didn’t need any more pounding than necessary.
While I was there I heard some more sad news about another volleyball player I knew and played against had passed away last week. He was 55, a year younger than I am. He left behind a one year old child as well which makes it even more tragic. This news came a few months after the passing of the beloved woman that used to organize our volleyball nights. This was one of those increasingly frequent reminders of just how uncertain life is and why you need to put the time you have to good use. You never know when the hour glass is going to drop that last grain of sand. Since I got done playing early due to rain I had a chance to go grab dinner at Bruninas afterward.
For the first time in a few weeks I have a normal two day weekend. It is looking to be a busy one. In addition to my normal pickleball sessions I have some wheel work to get done and another subscriber from my YouTube channel coming to town to ride with me on Sunday. I have met up with a lot of people that only found me via my channel and it universally has been a positive experience. I am hoping for yet another example.
After my huge one day lay off from pickleball I wound up playing twice yesterday, once at lunch and then again in the evening. The nighttime session went longer than I anticipated, right around three hours. I was on my way out when an attractive woman I played with earlier asked if I could stick around to play one more game. Despite two sore knees I agreed, of course.
A common mantra in pickleball is “one more game…” which refers to just how much people love playing the sport. No matter how long someone has been playing, they always can play just one more. Well as is often the case, one more game turned into four more games. I didn’t leave the courts until after 9:30 PM. I iced my right knee when I got home. I’m walking without a limp today which is good, since I am supposed to play volleyball tonight. It never ends.
I watched the new Shogun series on FX several weeks ago and enjoyed it. My buddy Larry suggested that I check out the original Shogun series that aired in 1980 that had Richard Chamberlain as the lead. He said it was good. After adjusting to the stark difference between 1980 production value and modern day I have been settling in and enjoying the different interpretation of the book the older series uses versus the FX version. No, I never read the book.
As I mentioned previously, I played a ridiculous amount of pickleball since last Wednesday and my knees in particular have taken a beating. I was asked to play again last night and I opted to take the night off. My brain would love to play all day every day but my body just is not able to fulfill that desire. I have to try to be a bit smarter about it. That being said, I am scheduled to play today at lunch, lol.
Instead of pounding my knees I had a nice night at home. I finished building a stand, played some WoW and once again tried to get the new tire I installed over the weekend to spin true on my Begode Master.
I have tried pretty much all the tricks I have at this point. I have deflated and massaged it, lubricated the bead, pounded it with a rubber mallet and even over inflated the tire, hoping it would seat itself correctly. None of it has worked. I have two theories as to what is going on.
One theory is because the tire has sat in a box for two years with the last year of that being in the scorching hot attic, it has warped somehow and will never roll true. The other theory I have is maybe the tube inside the tire is twisted or laying in an odd way which is causing the deformity. Unfortunately the solution for either problem is to take the wheel apart again and investigate further.
For a good portion of last year I was struggling to keep my weight up. It could have been from stress, poor meal prep, inadequate calorie intake or who knows what else. There were times when my nighttime weight was in the low 170s. This has been one of the many changes I have been making since the calendar flipped to 2024. My weight now is back up to the 185 range. I am hoping the weight gain has been more muscle than fat.
I eat more than I used to but it isn’t necessarily the best type of calories. I have increased my protein intake however. When I eat my lunch I have added yogurt that has 25 grams of protein and after the workout I drink a protein shake that has 30 grams more. I think this is a weight I would be ok with maintaining, it’s what I was hanging around for the majority of the last 10 years. My recent addition of the doorway pull up bar should only help with adding muscle. Despite some recent mental valleys, my desire to slow the progress of father time in whatever ways I can remains iron clad.
Today at the gym I saw my one buddy that plays pickleball with me. He was involved in the game with the idiot that I got into the loud argument with yesterday. He was talking about the incident and said how that was the first time he ever saw a look in my eyes like I was ready to explode. I told him it doesn’t happen very much but once that normally slow burning fuse is lit, it can get scary.
I have been told this over my lifetime by the few people that have witnessed me getting truly angry and how they can see a change in my eyes when this occurs. I’m never the type that would actively seek out conflict or violence but if you push me, I am going to swing back, literally if need be. Luckily it didn’t come to that yesterday but the door was definitely opened. Anyone that sees this side of me is always a bit shocked and I understand why.
If there was any doubt, I am officially addicted to pickleball. Over the 4 day weekend I played around 12 hours of pickleball. Despite heat indexes that crawled into triple digits I was out there smacking the ball around. I enjoyed it of course but I also went longer than I should have, my knees feel all kinds of sore here as Memorial Day weekend comes to a close.
I also have voiced concern on a live stream about how often I drink alcohol nowadays. I have gone out to eat and/or drank every day since Wednesday. Do I think I am an alcoholic? No. Do I drink much, much more than I used to? Absolutely. I know part of it is because I live so close to a variety of eating establishments that I go out to eat way more than I did previously which usually includes drinking. Part of it however I am sure is tied into other darker things that have gone down in the last year or so. Drinking helps me in my overall “f it” attitude when it comes to certain aspects of my life.
One of the projects I worked on over the weekend was installing a road tire on my new Begode Master. The swap went well where I used a new technique to get the new tire mounted utilizing zip ties. However the new tire seems to be a little bit wonky. Even after a bunch of massaging and reseating it has a wobble to it that I need to correct. Of course I did a video outlining the process.
Today while playing pickleball I had a loud and angry argument with some guy that kept screwing up the score. The first couple times I let it go but when he did it again I got tired of it and pointed out very clearly that he was wrong. This guy did not like my refusal to back down and the argument escalated to the point where we were face to face a couple feet apart. I was waiting for him to touch me. If he did things would have gotten real ugly, real fast. Evidently this guy has a history of being an asshole. Anyway the three other players in the game (including myself) told the guy we were done playing with him. He stormed off to the parking lot, still convinced he was right. Fck him.
Over the weekend I received my new doorway pull up bar. Since moving to my new house I have missed the luxury of having an easy way to do pull ups like i had at the old place that had the bar park I built myself. The doorway bar set up I bought seems decent and will allow me to drop in random pull up sets pretty much whenever I want which will be a big plus for my overall strength routine.
On Sunday night I met up with my vball buddy and his wife as well as other people I met from the salsa class. We went to a trivia night at a local bar and had a good time drinking, eating and being bad at trivia. However I also had moments of pause as I watched the other married couples acting like happy couples should.
It made me think about how at this age I thought I would have had everything figured out. Hell five years ago I thought I already did. I remember wondering why some people struggled to find a relationship they could be content within. I had been in long term relationships almost non-stop for 30+ years so I thought these people that were not in one had some sort of issue. Fast forward to present day where I have floundered about for coming up on three years, trying to find a person worthy of investing in, and failing, repeatedly.
I have soured on the process, so much so that I am not doing much to change my relationship status. My attitude is basically if it happens, it happens but I am not going to chase it. I know I am a good human being with desirable qualities. Hopefully something organically comes my way but I am not going to aggressively hunt for it as being alone also has it’s distinct advantages. So much so that it is going to take a special person to make me want to move away from it. Maybe it’s all futile, maybe it’s not. All I know is I can’t allow myself to fall into the same sort of traps I have in the past.
I finished watching the two seasons of Iron Fist on Disney plus. The main lead is annoying where he flip flops regularly between being a king fu master to a schlub routinely. There is too much whining and not enough Iron Fisting, if you know what I mean. I can see why it was killed after two seasons. I may go back and finish up the seasons of Daredevil I never saw.
It is clear that pickleball is a major focus in my life with it starting out as a once every week or two thing to multiple times per week to now, two times in the same day. Yesterday I played at lunch and then met up with the group I have now played a few Wednesday evenings with. We “only” played 90 minutes last night which felt short compared to some of my recent sessions that have approached four hours. After playing the five of us went to Tacos and Tequila to eat/drink. We didn’t get out of there until close to 10.
Our group was two married couples and myself. It’s a bit weird being the 5th wheel as the single person in the group but it’s a role I can play as long as is necessary. Being alone is better than being with the wrong person, a hard truth.
Tomorrow I begin my four day Memorial Day weekend. Let’s see what sort of trouble I can get into.
