How to break a cake, bland b-day

I’m not going to add my two cents regarding the awful shootings on Friday.  It’s a horrible, unthinkable act that unfortunately seems to be happening more and more frequently.  I prefer to keep Monday light.

On Friday night I thought I would swing into Costco to grab a few things. Woah, it was mobbed.  Luckily the store is so big that it can accommodate a large chunk of humanity.  I found myself back at the Green Machine aisle.

I noticed that the riding toy was actually rated all the way up to 180 pounds which I found encouraging since I tip the scales under that number.  Still, I didn’t pull the trigger.  I did feel a bit of concern that the number of Green Machines they had left were significantly smaller than just a week ago.

Friday I also received a box in the mail.  The Office Depot return address indicated it probably came from Randall.

I had to laugh when I saw the joke box,  which indicated I was the proud owner of an iArm.  However inside was a cool “Body by Duff” t-shirt.  It is a reference to the Simpsons and Duff beer but it serves a cool second meaning in my case. 🙂  He also included a Duff beer zip up bottle case.  Both gifts put a smile on my face.

On Saturday I wanted to do the best I could to clear my plate for Sunday so my birthday could be devoid of chores.  After knocking them out and giving the SSR a much needed bath I was ready to begin my first attempt ever at baking my favorite chocolate cake.

I thought the cake was so good that putting the process on video tape was a worthwhile effort so I could share the goodness with others in the cyber kingdom.   The early stages of the cake creation process were pretty straight forward.  I threw all the ingredients in the rarely used Kitchen Aid mixer and flipped it on.

When I went to pour the mix into the cake pan I realized why Ali always used a simple hand mixer instead.  The bottom of the bowl had a bunch of goopy solids.  That is the one issue with the Kitchen Aid, the beaters do not reach the bottom of the bowl.

So I wound up pouring the mixture clumsily from the stoneware pan back into the bowl and then hit it for a minute or two with the hand mixer.  I poured it back into the pan, hoping it was good enough.

So while the cake was in the oven I started on making the icing.  The icing is the star of the show with this cake and it requires some odd prep.  The first thing I had to do was blend milk and flour in a double boiler.

Now I don’t have an actual double boiler but I do have a set of nested pots.  I dumped some water in a larger pot and then placed a smaller pot inside it.  It just floated there.  From what I heard, using a double boiler is a way to prevent from burning something, it delivers an even heat.

So I flipped the front burner to the highest setting and waited a minute or two before I started stirring.  Well before long the water in the pot was at a full boil.   I assume I added too much water because as I stirred, scalding hot water started to erupt from the sides, covering the stove top in water and burning my fingers several times.  Less water and a lower temperature setting on the burner probably would have been advised.

Despite the mess, I wound up with what I think was proper icing base.  It had to cool before I could move forward with it’s prep.

So at this point I was just waiting for the cake to finish baking.  My mom had warned me that it typically takes longer than the 25-30 minute listed baking time.  She was right.  I pulled it out a couple times and it was still wet in the middle.

So I pulled the cake out a third time, by now it had probably been in the oven for at least 35 minutes.   The middle of it finally looked pretty solid.  I reached for a fork to test the middle and this happened.

I was startled and shocked.  Why in the world would the Pampered Chef stoneware cake pan all of a sudden crack in half??  My first theory was because the pan was warm and sitting on a burner that it wasn’t supported that well and broke.  Maybe stoneware is weaker when hot?

As my broken cake sat there I smelled and saw small wisps of smoke coming up.  Then it hit me.  I glanced at the front burner control and saw it was still turned on at setting 5, cool enough that the burner was not red but hot enough to crack a piece of stoneware.  I felt like an idiot. I could only laugh out loud at myself.

I quickly squeezed the pan together and sat it on the pizza stone.  At first I thought I would have to transfer the cake to something else.  Later I decided a simple duct tape job would suffice for now.  Obviously I wasn’t going to glue the pan back together.

Alison was not thrilled to hear I broke one of her prized Pampered Chef products.  Later that night I hopped on Ebay and bought her a replacement.

So ss the busted cake cooled I turned my attention back to the icing.  The goop had a cup of sugar and two full sticks of real butter added to it and blended together.  NOW you see why it tastes so good.  After mixing I did a quick taste test.  The icing was as I remembered which was exciting.

Finally when the cake cooled I applied the icing and this was the final product.  If you ignore the duct tape, it looks pretty legit.  Unfortunately I was not going to do a taste test of the final product until my actual birthday, anything else would be sacrilegious.

If you want to see the entire cake creation process, go here.

So Sunday arrived, bringing with it my 45th birthday.  I would be lying if I said it didn’t feel weird with my new living circumstances.

Ali needed me to watch the dogs on Sunday so we worked out an arrangement.  She agreed to bring them out to the house early and serve as my tractor driver for the death crawl.  I will cover the attempt more on Dufisthenics but briefly, it is a physical challenge I came up with where I would tow the tractor to the back fence line and back while in a bear (death) crawl.  I did this challenge once before with no load and it was tough enough.

The attempt had one glitch when the tractor popped out of neutral as I approached the fence.  I had to break form for a minute to put it back in.  However I did manage to pull the 500+ total pounds of weight the entire distance.  It got really uncomfortable towards the end.

If you would like to see the video of the attempt, which featured a unique two camera view, go here.

Later in the day I decided I had not beat myself enough and put in 100 pull up reps, trying to do it in the least amount of time possible.

Other than those two physical challenges, my birthday was pretty tame/boring.  Although I did receive a couple birthday presents in the mail, it was the first time in my life that I didn’t open a present on my birthday.  Yes it was weird thing to wrap my head around.

When Ali picked the dogs up we had some of the chocolate cake.  I was a bit apprehensive what I was going to be putting into my mouth after the cake breaking incident.  I was surprised that it was quite good.  It was probably a little dry because of the supplemental super heating that took place but when mixed with the icing and a cold glass of milk the taste experience was definitely positive.  Ali agreed that I did a good job.

Ali told me she started giving Nicki the the thyroid medicine again.  I could tell before she even told me.  As soon as I touched Nicki I felt her fur again had dried out.  She also did four or five number 2’s while she was at the house and was hitting the water bowl a ton.  It’s pretty incredible how quickly and drastically half of a little blue pill can take effect.

Ali knows I don’t approve but she is worried that not having the pill is hurting Nicki’s energy level.  After being on the pill for something like 5 or 6 weeks we can have Nicki’s numbers tested to see where she is at with her thyroid levels.  I have a feeling that number will come in sky high but we will just have to wait and see.