2012 the most tumultous year yet?

When I look back at the title of last year’s end of year blog entry, “2011 the best year yet?” it seems quite ironic considering what has transpired since that time in my life.

Ok let’s handle the easy stuff first, scoring the goals I set for 2012.

Get the master bedroom and bathroom painted – CHECK, splitting up for some reason gave me the kick in the ass I needed to finally get those two rooms painted after a couple years of procrastinating.  It was a huge pain in the ass doing this solo.

Replace carpet – nope, that won’t be happening anytime soon.

Resurface the pool deck – no but it really needs to be done.  I hope to contact Rhinoshield sometime in 2013 to do it.

Run a sub two hour half marathon – BINGO, I killed the Hooter’s Half, running it in 1:55 (knocking 16 minutes off previous best) and change in pretty horrible conditions with minimal training leading up to it.  That was a testament to pure mental will power more than anything else.

Complete the BBR’s (Bar-barian Requirements) – Nope, not close.  I tried to really train hard for this early in 2012 and kept hurting myself from overuse injuries.  I just don’t know that a 45 year old body of my size and proportion can recover fast enough to get it done.  Regardless I am going to still try, hard.

Another Tough Mudder – yep but surprisingly not with Randall.  Instead Charlie and I took down the course which featured a colder ice bath and much more “shocking” finish line.

Volleyball – Um I think I played a tournament.  Oh yea, I played with Tabby and then did a King of the Beach thing with Tabby, Randall and Jeremy.  Vball is just an afterthought in my life anymore.

Travel more – umm well the separation derailed pretty much all travel plans for me, I think the most traveling I did was by tire to Miami a couple times and Titusville

SSR upgrades – yea I did a number of upgrades including the expensive in dollars and time radio upgrade.  I also had a Corvette clutch installed in the truck as well as two new cat convertors, muffler, exhaust tips and panhard bar.  I have put about 6,000 miles on the SSR in my first full year of ownership.

Cranking up my overall happiness – hmmm well the separation from Alison was an effort to do just that on both of our part. It’s too early to make a final call on how successful the move will be.  To say there have been a few ups and downs would be a large understatement.

Ok so let me recap the high and lowlights of 2012.

In 2012 I gave up most meat (beef,pork poultry, etc..) the only meat I consume at this point is seafood and not much of that.  Alison has been a vegetarian for years but I had continued on my carnivore ways.  Well for me the moment I decided to stop for good was at the county fair.  As we were walking around the farm animal displays which included pigs and cattle I looked at these animals and took pause.  Instead of the normal, “aren’t they cute” and move on response, I looked long and hard at the faces of these animals.  I asked myself why it is that I would want to have these innocent animals killed to become a frozen patty on a plate.  I decided at that moment I didn’t want that and have not looked back.

I  haven’t noticed any fall off in my physical well being since making the change.  If anything, 2012 had the most personal physical bests I ever jammed into a 12 month period.

I did a lot of auto maintenance work in 2012, most of which was taped and published on YouTube.  I did brake jobs, replaced starters, alternators, IAC valves and more.  There is something very satisfying about fixing your own vehicle.

Speaking of YouTube, in 2012 I developed a an advertising juggernaut utilizing primarily YouTube and the ads that can be run with your videos.  I had a meteoric rise in monthly ad dollars and before my AdSense account got cancelled I had made almost $100 in one month.  The cancellation of my AdSense account was the source of much frustration and anger.

At first the anger was directed towards Google and their no warning cancellation policy when it comes to AdSense terms.  But in the end the anger should have been at myself for not thinking through recommending people to click on my blog ads.  I did not realize I was inviting others to violate the Adsense TOS.

I was really bummed out about the cancellation but I eventually got the ad dollar wheels turning again, making my mom into a new AdSense user and totally recreating my YouTube channel which took endless HOURS of work.  The main reason you see as many YouTube videos out of me as you do is not actually just because I am a video whore, it’s also because I have all the ad dollars I make funneled right to my mom as a small financial shot in the arm.

In 2012 I fought FEMA and won, jumping through a ton of hoops (and a case of beer) to get a bogus flood insurance requirement dropped.  It was one of several cost disputing/cutting efforts of the year, many of which were necessitated to cut costs associated with the separation. I no longer have a number of services that I once did.  I have been able to shave my electric costs down remarkably, last month I had a bill of $106, insanely low when this same house used to generate bills as much as triple that number at times.

I haven’t had many visitors in the house this year, my dad, step mom, Patrick and his girlfriend visited back in February.  Randall and his girlfriend Tracy stayed for a long weekend and finally Charlie stayed for a very fun few days earlier this month.  Other than that it has been basically me, myself and I (and Tuki) most nights.

The news of course had many big things going down including several tragic shootings, the presidential election and the fact that the world did not end a few days ago.  But you already knew that.

So I guess I should talk more about the obviously biggest event of 2012 or the last decade and a half for that matter, the decision Ali and I made to separate.  We made the decision to do so in March and she moved to her own place in early April.  The decision was a mutual one that involved no shenanigans on either of our sides but instead a genuine effort for both of us to move ahead in our lives in a happier place than we both found ourselves. This decision shocked a lot of people as most viewed us as a solid couple that got along.  For the most part they were right.

The change for both of us has been filled with ruts and potholes as would be expected since both of us have basically been married for our entire adult lives. (two marriages for me)  The change that we both have had to deal with has been large and at times very, very uncomfortable.

I basically have been using it as an opportunity to force myself into new situations.  Whenever I found myself questioning if I should do something or not, I would ask myself “have I ever done this before?”  if the answer was no, then that pretty much meant I needed to do it. For example, jumping out of a plane from 18,000 feet in the air.

Of course part of this change involved setting my foot into the adult dating world.  It has not been easy or natural in the least. I have had enough awkward pauses to fill a sit com.  I may as well stepped foot into the middle of Siberia at times with how foreign the dating world feels.  Dating, for me, is hard.

Probably the hardest time of all has been this holiday season since it involved such painful items as separating Christmas ornaments and having our first Christmas morning where we woke up in different zip codes.

Many people are also very surprised with what Ali and my interaction has been like since the split.  In most cases when couples split there is a very clear division (like my first marriage), ours is not one of those cases.  Ali and I still are friends and support each other in different ways. We still interact and see each other on a regular basis.  It definitely has not followed the typical divorce 101 handbook.

I have had a lot of physical bests this year, despite turning 45 a couple weeks ago.  I did my first 110 pound weighted dip, first 90 pound weighted pull up, first one handed push up, first set of 10 dragon flags and many more.  One of my proudest accomplishments was pulling off a set of 30 pull ups a few weeks back, something that even surprised myself.  The sub 2 hour marathon and my second successful completion of the Tough Mudder were nice little feathers in the hat as well.

Of course at this age injuries are hard to avoid and I had my fair share of them, most recently the knee that was practically locked after the Mudder.  Who could forget the stupid injury to my bicep when I crashed trying to do weighted dips?  I also had a chronic problem with left wrist that lasted for damn close to 4 months.

The Eagles really sucked in 2012.  It was definitely the biggest waste of the NFL Sunday Ticket to date.

2012 has been a rough year for Nicki.  Her well being has taken a dramatic downturn since Ali and I split.  In what seems a blink of the eye she has gone from a healthy/active 9 year old dog, to an old girl that is showing every second of being 10.  The thyroid medicine she is on has made her hair long, dry and shaggy to the point where she looks dramatically different from just a year ago.  She is gimpy and slow, no longer able to run other than the occasional few step trot. She can’t be trusted to not dump in the house if left alone for more than a couple hours.  I can’t help but feel that is partly because of her reaction to the split and change in her living conditions.  It makes me feel guilty and sad.

You know I could really dig into the monthly entries and come up with more to blab about but if you are that interested about it use the BLOG ARCHIVES drop down menu and take a peek yourself.  There are some gems in there.

Ok so let’s talk about 2013 goals.

More than ever before, I go into this new year really, REALLY unsure about where my winding path will take me.  All that was familiar to me for so long is in the rear view mirror which can be both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Home improvement goals are not major.  Getting the pool deck resurfaced/painted would be welcome.  Getting the hobby room and garage painted would be nice but far from important.  I have some outdoor projects to complete but none major enough to require mention here.

My physical goals are always about do it again, faster, better, more.  I’d like to run a half marathon quicker than I did last year. I want to get a 35 pull up set.  I want to be able to complete the old BB requirements.  A front lever, back lever, planche, controlled handstand and human flag are all objects on my radar as well.

Wow I can’t believe I finally got jumping out of a plane off my goal list.  It resided there for at least 5 or 6 years if not longer.

I hope to be able to do some traveling this year.  I have a couple visions in my head, one is top down in the SSR driving north and west until I run into the Pacific Ocean.  The other is traveling overseas to meet some of my international bar enthusiast friends.  There are quite a few whose hands I would like to shake (or cheeks to kiss).

Of course the number one personal goal is always happiness, continued (most of the time) health and an ability to both offer and absorb kindness/laughter/knowledge both to and from the world around me.

Peace.

And of course, a HUGE shout out to Randall…