Archives 2015

So I was on a live chat with Gazelle yesterday shortly after their 9AM start of day.  The person I got was apologetic for the smashed iPad that showed up at my door.  She generated a free shipping return label and said as soon as they received the unit they would credit my card.  She said I could simply order a replacement if I wanted to.  Since their inventory of used devices is constantly changing there is no guarantee they will have exactly what I ordered.  I thanked her for the help.

I went online and found they had another iPad Air with the exact same specs available so I ordered it.  Earlier, before support opened I had sent an email to Gazelle asking for direction on how to address my mangled iPad.  After my live chat occurred I got an email from another Gazelle rep named Matt.  He saw in the system that I already had my return taken care of.  He again apologized for the damaged product and offered some additional perks I was not expecting.

He said as soon as he saw the box was dropped off to FedEx he would process the credit instead of making me wait until they have the box in their hands.  He also said he would credit the shipping cost on the replacement iPad which was awesome if it happens.  The invoice I got didn’t appear to show any credit yet but if it happens, sweet.

Their efforts to remedy what was a very big disappointment turned my negative opinion into a positive one.  That is customer service 101.  I ordered the replacement with overnight shipping, hopefully it arrives intact today.

This morning Cindy and I awoke to torrential rain, a very rare thing this time of year.  When I walked out to the truck there was standing water everywhere.  It will all seep into the ground by the time I get home but I am sure we have gotten at least a couple inches of rain based on the lakes on the ground.

Both Cindy and I are looking forward to the upcoming “normal” weekend with no races or other calendar events to be concerned with.

On my way home last night I stopped at the Wellness Center to officially cancel my membership.  The commute to the facility was long outside of season and borderline maddening during the last several weeks.  The building is nice, the gym area is nice, the locker rooms and showers are very nice but none of it made up for me losing 15 minutes of my allocated workout time each day dealing with traffic and parking.

I never really felt at home at NCH.  Despite there being a lot more people at the facility there was a lot less interaction between people than I have been accustomed to.  I also never liked that despite all of the equipment in there they did not have a simple pull up bar, the closest thing I could use was awkwardly hanging off the Smith machine bar or the low quality power tower rig they have.  I actually think I will be happier and more productive at Planet Fitness, which seems blasphemous to say.

So late last week I purchased a used iPad Air from Gazelle.com.  You may have heard their ads, they buy your used electronics and resell them.  I bought it as a pseudo Valentine’s Day present for Cindy although I would certainly use it as well.  It would be great for the personal trainer certification course she is working on.  It had a healthy 64 gigs of ram as well as ATT LTE service, freeing it from the shackles of wi-fi.  I was excited to spring it on Cindy.

So I tracked the package with FedEx.  It was arriving yesterday. I saw the package had a signature required parameter so I proactively hung a sign on the front door asking the driver to get the signature from our next door neighbor, which he did.  When I got home Cindy had already retrieved the box for me because I asked her to although she still had no idea what it was.

My first impression of the box was not good.  It looked like something that would have been shipped to me from a seller on Ebay.  It was a generic looking box with a sloppy looking tape job.  Once I opened the box I continued being unimpressed.  The packing material was a piece of spare foam folded in half and jammed inside.  There was no paperwork, no invoice, only a small branded Gazelle card.  The shitty packaging quickly became a minor issue as I saw the side profile of the iPad, it was in a V shape. What in the fck….

I pull the device out and verify it is destroyed. It literally looked like it had been stomped on.  I didn’t even bother removing it from the bubble wrap.  I looked again at the box and saw a small rip in the middle near an edge, probably the end result of whatever/whomever crushed the box.  I was PISSED.

When I told Cindy this mess was supposed to be a gift for her she appreciated my intentions and shared my disappointment.  Yes obviously the package had some sort of violent impact inflicted upon it but the lackluster packaging certainly did nothing to protect it.  At the very least, if they are going to send out electronics in sub-standard packaging a few FRAGILE labels applied to the box would make sense.

My frustration was amplified when I discovered Gazelle only answers the phone from 9AM to 6PM, meaning I was going to have to wait until today to vent.  I am afraid this is going to be a long drawn out process if Gazelle is going to seek remediation from FedEx before replacing the unit.  Obviously I will be lobbying for that to be not the case.

It is currently 3:20AM.

Friday I left work a little early to head over to the early packet pick up Ali was running for her race.  She had given me reports during the day about how busy it was which is a good problem to have. We want as many as people as possible to pick up their race packet early to lessen lines on race day.  That being said it isn’t fun to deal with a non-stop line of humanity for 6 or more hours straight which is basically what Ali did.

She had a number of people sign up in person which was complemented by a ton of online sign ups as well, many of whom signed up online on Friday and marched right over to pick up their packet the same day.  These individuals create a challenge for me that I have not yet figured out a good way to address.  What winds up happening is I have to go back that evening and manually change the bib number for each person that falls into this category.  On Friday that list was several dozen people.

While I was there I helped the Humane Society staff get their van loaded up with tables, coolers, tents and other supplies they would be using on race day.  By the time I was done the van was pretty jam packed.  I grabbed everything I needed from Ali and headed out.  Before getting home to get to work I needed to also stop and pick up groceries.

By the time Randall showed up it was somewhere around 8 o’clock.  We had already eaten dinner and I was in the middle of race prep, leaving me only brief amounts of time to welcome Randall, I let Cindy pick up the slack as I continued to hammer away at my mental to do list.  Before going to bed all three of us loaded up the party van as it was the only vehicle suitable to carry all of the gear and the three of us as well.

The forecast for Saturday morning seemed decent with lows in the high 50’s, much warmer than many Paws races before which had temps as low as the 30’s on race day.  I thought I would be fine wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and one of my not so thick hoodies.  Well once we got on site I realized I made a poor choice.  The steady wind that we emerged into made me feel much, much colder.  I spent pretty much the first two hours feeling chilled to the bone.

The pre-race scene got congested pretty quickly as there were the most participants ever for the race.  Despite the large amounts of pre-registered runners  we had a huge day of race walk up crowd as well of 90 runners.  Thankfully I had Chris and Sean doing the data entry for me which allowed me to run around and attend to the various other tasks I had at hand.

So shortly before 7:45 Ali and I had to get down to the start line, over a half mile away.  This was the first race we had use of the club’s new electric golf cart.  We utilized it get to the start line in half the time it would have taken on foot which was nice.  What wasn’t so nice was the few minutes before the start of the race.

The race had paid for four police officers to close off traffic to the race course during the start of the event.  We were a couple minutes before the official start time of 8AM and we still had vehicles on the road.  Evidently whatever officer that was stationed at the far end of the course did not understand that closing the road to traffic actually meant closing the road to traffic.  In addition Ali discovered that the volunteer course marshals for some reason were not out on the course as they were supposed to be.  She was more or less freaking out as she yelled at me almost like I was the one responsible for these unfortunate problems.  I told her it would be ok, we waited for the vehicles to clear and started the race a little over 4 minutes late.  It wasn’t the end of the world.

After the last straggler came over the starting mats, and there were a LOT of stragglers, we again hopped in the cart for a high speed return to the finish line area.  I had done as much ahead of time at the finish as possible to save time since I knew we had such distance to and from the start line.

I was a bit nervous about the event timing to be honest.  Despite timing over 100 races the incident at the half marathon had shaken my confidence.  I set up a secondary timing box at the finish as a safety net, something I never had done for this race before.  I was relieved when results started flowing in as I am accustomed to seeing.  Overall the event timing went very well outside of two timing bibs that were dead as a doornail when they hit the finish line.

I was running around so much I really didn’t get to enjoy or interact with the nearly 200 dogs that participated in the race which was sort of a bummer.  This is normally the case though so I am accustomed to it.   During the awards ceremony which Ali presented, she made a breif speech about the history of the race and how it all emerged from our adoption of Nicki from the Humane Society almost 12 years ago.  It was pretty amazing to have that one event blossom into what it is today, a massive race that generates serious money for the shelter.  I am proud of both Ali and myself for the roles we served in making that happen.

Randall served most of the race as event photographer and did a nice job, snapping nearly 600 pictures once the sun came up. Prior and after the race he was put in more of a pack mule role.  Cindy was the glue that helped keep the registration area running before the race, directing and assisting the volunteers in their roles.  She did a great job as well.

We were cleaned up and pulled out around 10 AM.  We grabbed well deserved cups of coffee from Dunkin Donuts on the way home.  Once we got there I was straight into a large pile of work.  After getting results posted I started the process of getting the various media from the race online.  This included Randall’s 600 pictures and two GoPro videos, one from my finish line camera and another from Chris’s Phantom, which he shot some aerial video with.  I did not reach a stopping point until close to 2PM.

Cindy had decided to go run out to pick up some supplies she was going to need for Sunday’s Super Bowl Party we were hosting.  Randall and I thought it would be smart for us to try to take naps since Saturday evening we were going to my boss’ retirement dinner at Mercato.  We both laid down for roughly an hour but neither of us got any tangible sleep during those 60 minutes.

The dinner was scheduled to start very early at 4:45 PM.  The time was set in order for our group of nearly 30 people to be able to take advantage of an early dinner menu at McCormick & Schmicks.  The three of us were one of the last to arrive, despite getting there only a few minutes late.  There was assigned seating, we sat in the back corner with my buddy who is now the head of our department and Debbie, another former co-worker and friend of mine whom retired a couple years ago.  Debbie and Cindy immediately hit it off which I expected.

The meal and celebration was quite enjoyable.  I used a steady stream of Bud Lights during the meal and a 5 hour energy prior to it to keep myself awake and sociable, despite getting up at 4:15 AM that morning.  Various people spoke during the party, including brief speeches by my buddy and myself, thanking Shirley for all the kindness she has shown us over the years.  It is a rare thing to have a boss you really like and I have been quite lucky to enjoy that situation for the last nearly 15 years.

As the meal wound down the majority of people headed out.  Our group was willing to stick around to go have a drink somewhere with Shirley and a few others.  Shirley said something to Cindy about wanting to get a table at a nearby place called Burn.  When I realized why it is named that, for it’s cigar bar theme, I was not into it at all.  Don bailed as soon as it was mentioned.  Cindy, Randall, Debbie and I went in and sat at an outdoor table.  Even sitting outdoors the stench of cigar smoke was wafting around us.  I really did not want to hang there.

Eventually Shirley and the rest of the crew showed up and we moved to an even larger table that happened to be right next to the outdoor lounge area where the smoke was thickest.  Cindy was ready to just get up and leave.  Randall was not enjoying the smoke either, both of them got up and stood at the perimeter to try to escape some of the stench.  We stayed for one drink and then apologized to Shirley, using our early alarm clock as reason to head out, which was not entirely untrue, I was tired for sure.  The cigar smoke however certainly accelerated our departure.

On Sunday morning Randall and I went out for a Dunkin Donuts ride.  Once again the temps were in the 50’s, a bit chilly on a bike but we dressed for it.  I was surprised when Randall told me that he had not been on a bike for nearly two months.  His Crossfit gym membership and half marathon training evidently totally squeezed cycling out of his life for awhile.

I was in front as we headed west.  I spotted what looked to be a wallet out of the corner of my eye in the bike lane as we whisked by.  I turned back and told Randall I think we just passed a wallet.  He asked if we should go back.  I said yea, we should, if it was my wallet I would want someone to do the same for me. Randall retrieved the wallet and said it had no cash but seemed intact otherwise.  He threw it in his jersey pocket for us to look at once we got to DD.

The ride there went well.  I pulled the entire way and I did so using my new, faster pedaling cadence that I found served me so well on my return ride from Ave Maria several weeks ago.  Once we got onto the long stretch between Wilson Blvd and Collier Blvd I maintained 20-21 mph the entire way with the wind at our backs.

While we were drinking our small coffees we pulled out the wallet.  There was no drivers license but we found other cards that gave us the guys name and where he lived.  A quick internet search did not reveal a phone number however.  Later when we got home I found the 26 year old on Facebook and sent him a message, hoping he would see it and reply.

The ride back was not easy.  Since I pulled the entire way there Randall pulled as we left.  The headwind was mostly hitting us at an angle but it still was making pedaling significantly tougher.  Somewhere around 3 miles into the 10 mile return trip I could tell Randall was losing steam.  I asked him if he wanted me to pull, something I am not sure I have ever done.  I am used to Randall being the puller in tough conditions since he puts so many more miles in than I do normally.  Randall tapped his right side, meaning he was ready for a breather.  I got deep on my aero bars I pulled ahead.

Despite the wind I was able to keep the speed over 17 mph, even during the worst of it.  By the time we made the northern turn I was able to pop back up to 18, 19 and even 20 mph for the last part of the ride.  I think the combo of being able to get small on my aero bars and my increased pedal speed made all the difference.  I used to think that I was getting more bang for my buck by pedaling slower at a higher gear, getting more wheel rotation per pedal stroke.  I am now in the exact opposite camp. Keeping my legs spinning at a lower overall resistance level seems to allow me to actually go faster, longer than I could before.  To be able to pull into the wind that last 7 miles with as little cycling as I have been doing was a good thing.

Cindy again had to run out during the day Sunday for more party supplies.  I took some time to install some of the additional chicken coop defenses that I ordered. I attached more of the red LED predator lights and an 80 LED, super bright solar floodlight.  If anything approaches the coop on the side where the break in occurred it will be blinded and hopefully scared away instantly.  We now have a total of four predator lights on the coop/run as well.

Most of the afternoon was spent doing prep for our Super Bowl party.  Of course Cindy was by far the leader in work accomplished.  She had spent a lot of time and effort planning the party out.  We had a couple disagreements on some logistical issues like furniture layout but eventually she came around to my line of thinking.

We had a decent amount of people show up early to partake in the outdoor activities like slack lining, tire flipping, rope climbing and pull ups.  It was a lot of fun.  I was quite happy when I saw my buddy Sean pull up in the driveway.  His girlfriend had bowed out of the party earlier so I assumed he was not going to come either.  It was a pleasant surprise and since he was the strongest and most vocal Patriots supporter it was good to have his perspective.

The betting board was pretty heavily utilized and once again seemed to be one of the more popular parts of the party.  Even if you know nothing about football it is fun to gamble just a little bit.  Before the party I was getting worried that we had too many people showing up.  We arranged the house to maximize sitting space both on furniture and the floor. (Cindy bought two bean bag chairs)  It turned out a good handful of people we thought were coming could not make it so we had ample room for everyone.

During the night I downed a six pack of Bud Light Platinums solo so that pretty much took care of my drinking needs.  I loosely paid attention to the game but was too drunk to care all that much about it.  I was more sober towards the end so I could appreciate the dramatic finish which allowed the Patriots to snatch victory from what looked to be a crushing defeat. I remember laughing at some commercials and saying what the fck to others, you don’t need me to recap them for you.

A number of people left before the end of the game which is often the case.  At the very end it was just us, Sean and two of Cindy’s girlfriends from the running club.  I think everyone involved, regardless of their departure time enjoyed themselves which is all Cindy and hope for.  After the last person left Cindy dug into clean up as much as she could.  There was no way we were going to get everything back in place Sunday night but we made a hell of a dent at least.  We didn’t get to bed until after midnight.

Cindy was unlucky enough to have to work Monday.  Randall and I had taken Monday off as a recovery day and we were both glad we did.  When we went out for coffee we stopped and grabbed the dogs so they could get to spend some time with their favorite uncle.  After getting them I took Randall for his first trip to Rural King so he could see what all the fuss was about.  I am not sure how impressed he was but I think he definitely found aspects of the store interesting.  One of the things I bought there was a raccoon sized live trap.  I plan to try to catch the predator and release him far away.

Cindy would prefer if I would enact eye for an eye justice on the animal but that only would happen if I caught the raccoon mid-attack.  Otherwise I just don’t have it in me to end an animals life for doing what is is hard wired to do.  I could have prevented the attack, regardless of the raccoons intentions.

I also made a pit stop at Home Depot to grab one more clasp for the coop.  While I was there I also grabbed a bag of large white egg rock.  When I got home I used it to augment the border around the flowers Cindy planted where we buried the chickens, creating a touching little memorial for them.

I also installed the rest of my coop hardware. I installed brackets on the big front coop door and looped a massive caribiner through them, preventing what would be unlikely access by another animal.  I replaced another flimsy door loop as well as installing the second clasp lock on the other side door.  I now feel confident that I have done all I can to ensure the safety of future chickens in the coop.

For a good portion of Monday Randall and I just vegged out, watching a How It’s Made marathon on the Science Channel.  I find that show fascinating and addicting.  Randall liked it too.  Cindy finds it interesting too but only in much shorter bursts than I do.

During the day I tracked down the guy whose wallet we found.  One of the cards indicated where he worked so we called his employer and got his cell phone number.  The guy was so relieved his wallet was found.  When he showed up he told me he and his friends got into some fight Saturday night after the Country Jam that was held at the county fairgrounds.  Evidently after the scuffle his wallet wound up in the back of their pick up truck on the tailgate and subsequently on the road during the drive home.  He was very grateful for our efforts and offered me money for the good deed which I of course refused.  Doing the right thing should not come with a price tag.

Randall headed out a little before 5 after saying goodbye to the girls.  I thanked him for a good weekend and all of the help with Ali’s race.  It’s always nice to have him hang out for a couple days.

Once he left I dug into more chores including paying my bills and some other things.  As I was working on my bills I popped open a running club email that had some information in there that I found extremely irritating.  It was so irritating that it pretty much dominated the rest of the evening, causing me to be short and grumpy with Cindy and is probably one of the reasons I could not fall back asleep after waking up at 2:30 AM.

For quite awhile I have been teetering back and forth regarding what I am and not willing to deal with when it comes to my duties associated with the club.  I now have a pretty definitive line in the sand as a result of this latest episode of bad judgement.  There are exactly two options that I will be choosing between based on what happens next, either one is a vast improvement over what I have been dealing with for the last couple years.  These issues affect my quality of life and I am not willing to allow that to be the case going forward.

Another weekend is on the doorstep and I again have a full plate in front of me.  Ali’s Run for the Paws 5K is on pace to set a new attendance record and could be knocking on the door of 800 sign ups.  Since this is Ali’s race and benefits the Humane Society, an organization that we both care strongly about, the event takes on special importance.  Last night I spent a good portion of my time getting data massaged and equipment ready for early packet pick up which Ali will be running during the day at the Humane Society building.

Randall will be rolling over tonight to stay the weekend.  As he has done for many years, he will be helping us out with the race, primarily serving the role as event photographer, a role he assumed from Jeremy a few years back.  Normally the Paws race is enough action for one weekend but we will be tripling it up.  Saturday night we are going to a retirement party for my boss.

Sunday evening we are again hosting a Super Bowl party that has swelled in attendance in the past few days.  If everyone shows that says they are coming it will total up to the most amount of people we ever have had at the house.  I took Monday off as a recovery day, I think I will be needing it.

There is the possibility that we may pick up some more chickens from the lady we got Wilma, Betty, and Pebbles from on Sunday.  Even though there obviously is a raccoon roaming our yard we will have the chickens locked up tight at night in their coop that now has animal proof latches on the side doors.

I actually ripped the dvr footage of the raccoon last night and posted it to YouTube.  The main reason I posted it was as a heads up to other Urban Chicken Tractor owners to harden the doors to their coop so their birds don’t wind up like ours did.

So this is the door latch that the predator, that I now know was a raccoon, spun open on Saturday night to get access to the coop, killing all three of our beloved chickens.  Over the weekend I bought some clasp hinges to make this scenario impossible going forward.  Since the next 4 days are going to have precious spare time I installed the hinges last night after work.

The main hinge body was anchored into the metal frame, the rotating clasp was mounted on the door.  I used left over lumber to screw into on the inside of the coop to make sure it was secure.

The double clasp arrangement had a side benefit of only allowing the main door latch to turn one direction to release, not that it matters anymore, the clasp locks will be doing all the work. I also want to put some sort of rig on the big front door to lock it.  The front door is heavy and probably too difficult for a raccoon to get into but at this point I don’t want to take any chances.

In total I may have spent 45 minutes reenforcing the coop, I wished I would have spent that 45 minutes prior to the coop being penetrated.  Before I walked back inside I went over to the spot the chickens are buried and apologized again for letting them down.

So you may wonder how I know definitively a raccoon was responsible for the killings.  My Uncle Randy made a suggestion on Facebook that I should do some nighttime surveillance.  Well I have the Samsung DVR system we use for the running club so I figured it was worth a shot.  Even though it was almost 9PM and sort of cold outside I pulled the coop out from behind the shed and close to the spot it was Saturday night.  I set up the DVR by the sliding door that leads to the lanai and strung the long cable wires out to the hill next to the pool.  I had two cameras set up, one pointed at either side of the coop.  The infrared lighting on the cameras gave a good picture of the coop and would surely reveal if anything stopped by during the night.

This morning the first thing I did was review the video at x64 speed.  I had gone through about 5 hours of footage without seeing anything but bugs.  All of a sudden I see something come into view from behind the camera and move towards the coop, right around 1:30AM  I stop the fast forward and back it up, there he is, a racoon.

He circled the coop two different times, the second time he got up on his back legs by the big front door.  He then came around to the side door that was breached during the attack and promptly climbed on top of the tire, pretty much demonstrating how he got access to the door latch.  Ironically he must have also used the piece of 1 x 10 board we had across the wheels for sun protection to get himself even higher.

I showed Cindy the video and as expected she was upset to see the raccoon stalking the now empty coop.  It just emphasized how we must be absolutely diligent in making sure the chickens are secure at night.  In addition to the clasps I installed yesterday we bought some more predator deterrent hardware last night on Amazon.  It includes more flashing LED predator lights, reflective/crackle tape to scare away hawks, and a solar powered, motion detecting LED spotlight.  I think the spotlight may be the most effective deterrent of the three, flipping on whenever an animal gets within 30 feet of the coop.

It’s upsetting to realize that the raccoon killed the chickens not for survival but more or less for sport.  I think the changes we are making will force future raccoons to find a new hobby.

Yesterday I got in contact with the woman that we bought our chickens from.  She was very sad to hear about what happened and was not surprised that Cindy and I were so upset about it.  She knows very well the emotional attachment you can have with what most people would consider dumb birds. Anyway, I told her that we were interested in trying again and was wondering if she had any young hens currently.  She said she did have several in the three month old range which is about the same age Wilma, Betty, and Pebbles were when we adopted them.  If things go as I hope we could possibly pick up the hens on Sunday morning.

When I mentioned this to Cindy she was conflicted about it.  She is still very tore up about the chickens maybe even more than I am.  She doesn’t even want to go in the back yard as it seems foreign without the girls living back there.  I told her I thought getting some new hens would be therapeutic.  I told her there will never be another Betty, Wilma and Pebbles but starting over with more hens will help us move forward into happier chicken skies.

Of course before we would take ownership of additional birds I will have had to installed the clasp locks on the side doors ahead of time.  In addition Cindy already ordered additional flashing LED predator deterrents and sent me a list of additional predator aids, some of which we will add to the arsenal.  I wouldn’t be surprised if by the time we are done we don’t have an automatic machine gun turret on top of the coop that mows down anything that steps within 20 feet.

The party van is entering it’s 19th year on the road and as you can imagine has a number of issues, thankfully most of them small.  The rust spots that are developing hardly make me pay attention since the exterior of the van is already freckled with various defects.

The driver side power window is weird.  If you let the window perform the automatic full down movement the window will no longer go back up for a minute or two.  After that time elapses it will once again return to the closed position.  The “fix” for this is to only lower the window manually and don’t use the auto function.  It took quite a few trips through the drive thru until I broke the habit.

The dash lights recently stopped working randomly. The digital odometer still lights up and is just bright enough that I can see the faint outline of the speedometer needle at night so I can judge my speed.  The LEDS on the radio still work as well.  The rest fo the dash was dead for the last 2-3 weeks until suddenly coming back to life this weekend.  Random, Fonzie-like smacks to the dash seem to have no effect on their operation.

There are various interior trim parts missing or falling off as well.  Luckily none of them serve any useful purpose.  As long as these problems remain minor in scope the party van will continue to be part of my automotive fleet.  However when the first sign of major trouble hits it will be time to do some reconsideration of my transportation needs.  If it wasn’t for the dogs loving the van so much and the usefulness it serves on race day at times the van would have been put out to pasture awhile ago.

Rich, my old buddy and volleyball partner extraordinaire was writing to me about the loss of my chickens and related his experience with chickens growing up.  Rich has an incredibly detailed memory of his childhood, his recollection of his past inspired me years ago to jot down random memories of mine which I may or may not have posted at one point in the blog.  Even if I did, it’s worth repeating for entertainment value and I think it’s time I start adding some more recent memories to the list. This has gone untouched for at least a decade.

Thoughts

This is a blatant rip off of a page my good friend Rich has on his site where he lists various experiences in his life that have stuck in his memory and helped shape what he is today.  Reading his list made me realize how strange it is when you look back at the things that you remember and why.  So here goes:

• My first memory doesn’t occur until kindergarten.  We make construction paper mailboxes for Valentine’s Day.  Where did the first 5 years go?

• I walk the sidewalk between the house and the barn looking for ants to drop in spider webs so I can watch the spider kill the ant.  I found this to be a lot of fun…….. for some reason  

• I feel tremendous pride as I sit down in my high tech, rear steering, “Green Machine”.  Races down the driveway were a regular activity.  

• I hit the monster of all wiffle ball homeruns playing with my brother.  Hitting the barn above the eave roof was a homerun.  This shot had the perfect spin on it where it carried over the barn and into the woods.  I don’t think we ever found the ball but I didn’t care.  

• I am convinced that “Hot Wheels” cars are definitely faster than “Matchbox”.  They won every head to head race I had.

• We set up a mini baseball field in the pasture above the house.  We had the bases all laid out but we later found out that we were running up what would be later known as the “third base line”

• I get into my first non-family “fight” playing football against some older kids. I was making this one kid mad cause I was better than him.  He challenged me, I wrestled him to the ground had him pinned with his arm behind his back.  I said I’d let him up and we could just let it go.  We stood up and he hit me in the face.  I was so mad all I could do was cry and go home.

• I fill up my brother’s boots with mud from the creek across the street, when I am accused of doing it, I deny it for some reason.

• I learn early on that bad behavior is met with physical punishment.  Pepper on the tongue, eating soap and head in the toilet bowl are three that come to mind.

• We invent the game of 1 on 1 football.  The rules are very simple, you throw the ball to the other guy and then try to tackle him before he gets across your goal line.  This game also required an adeptness at avoiding ditches, stone sidewalks and dog crap.

• I spend EVERY Saturday morning from 7am to 12am watching cartoons. They seemed so much better back then.

• My sister just learned how to write her name, she did so in a very distinct style that was easy for me to forge.  I wrote her name on a wall and she took the fall.

• My Mom thinks it would be a good idea to get my brother and I Socker-Boppers (2 big blow up boxing gloves that look like you have marshmallows for hands)  I proceed to hit Todd so hard that mine pops and sends him airborne.

• I get a bow and arrow for Christmas.  I get it taken away from me after I sent a “warning shot” within 10 feet of my brother

• Todd learns to fight back.  During a painting project that my Dad assigned Todd and I to complete, I painted Todd’s hand with the brush.  He retaliates by painting my eyes shut.

• I stick up for Todd for the first time.  During a football game my friend Pete cheap shots him.  I get mad and make Pete go home.

• I join the Saturday morning bowling leagues at Colonial Hills.  After I would bowl in the mornings I would do miniature bowling on the top of our bumper pool table with the pool balls and shampoo jars as pins.  It seemed like fun at the time.

• My dad is mad about a hand held electric grass trimmer he bought from Sears.  It isn’t working correctly.  He smashes the trimmer into the sidewalk and it explodes into dozens of pieces.  He vows to never shop at Sears again.  

• My dad vows to never go to a bank that has the infamous “teller rope system”  He doesn’t like the idea of being guided like a rat in the maze. I remember wondering what bank he was going to go to now?

• One of our mean roosters attacked my sister.  My dad chases the rooster and beats it to death with a shovel.  I am scared of my dad.

• There is a tremendous thunder and lightning storm going on, pouring down rain,  and it is nighttime yet my dad is out there on the tractor mowing the grass with the lights on.  He enjoyed the challenge.

• My brother and my friends play another game called “King of the Hill”  The object is to throw everyone else off the hill into the ditch below.  If you get thrown down you are no longer King.  Sometimes my dad would play, he enjoyed throwing us into the ditch.  

• For a challenge I want to see if I can ride my bike down the hill to our house and into the driveway without using any brakes.  After a terrifying crash into a tree I figured out that you couldn’t.

• My brother and I entertain ourselves in our barn by jumping into the stall filled with hay below.  It was filled with bugs, rats and was incredibly dirty.  We didn’t notice.

• Every summer I had incredible anticipation about our family vacation to the beach.  I would sit and draw pictures of our Peugeot station wagon loaded up with our stuff and imagine how great it was going to be driving down there.  However, after vacation was over, I was deeply depressed for days. 

• We always used to go on the water slides at the beach.  After we came back I would spend weeks trying to figure out how to build one out of some sheets of plastic and a hose. 

• I ride my bike everywhere, no mountain was too high, no distance was too far, my bike took me everywhere.

• I get freaked at a weird piece of art that my uncle gave my mom.  It looks like a big furry head with the face turned sideways.  I could swear that it looked like it moved when I looked at it so I never looked at it again unless it was broad daylight.

• We came home from somewhere and I found our one dog strangled to death.  He jumped up and got tangled in his chain.  It was gruesome.

• My grandfather fell over with a heart attack at a Phillies baseball game with my brother and my dad.  He died several months later.  I think I saw him once before he died.  I didn’t want to have anything to do with him. (we were never close in the first place) Dying scares me and seeing it first hand was terrible.

• After my parents divorced my dad tried giving us gifts from his new girlfriend.  We opened them up, they were pretty cool from what I remember.  When my mom found out they were from her she pulled up next to my dad at an intersection and threw them in the street.  I remember the sad look on my dad’s face as he picked up the discarded gifts from the street.

• I play for my first organized baseball team. 10, 11 and 12 year olds for Brecknock. I could throw hard so I pitched.

• My dad’s first apartment was some dive in Reading. We would stay there on the weekends.  It was one of the gloomiest times I can remember.  I used to spit from his apartment and watch it fall to the lobby below for entertainment.

• I go to Junior High and start wearing open flannel shirts with a t-shirt underneath, everyday.  I comb my hair all the time.  I am very self conscious.

• My dad starts playing rugby, we go to post game parties that include big sloppy guys drinking themselves stupid, acting vulgar and in one case walking around naked. Somewhere around this time I vow not to drink because I didn’t like what it did to people, my dad especially.

• The first family vacation I can remember at the beach, I remember sitting on the porch and asking my mom about dying and why it happens.  I remember thinking how people born that day had much longer to live than I did since I was already 7 or 8.  I still do this…

• I am introduced to the world of electronic entertainment when my mom buys me a Mattel handheld LED football game.  I played until my thumbs were swollen.  

• After the divorce I remember spending winters watching TV smacked up against a kerosene heater.  Whatever part of you was against the heater was burning hot, everything else was frigid.

• It is Christmas Eve and all of my relatives on my Mom’s side are over for dinner.  The house is warm.  Everyone is healthy, happy and laughing.  The perfect holiday.  Some of my happiest days ever were Christmas Eve’s.  The anticipation of Christmas was at it’s climax but the depression of it being over had not set in. Christmas itself always seemed anti-climatic.

• We are in vacation in Cape Cod. I had saved allowances for months to have spending money on vacation to use on stuff like comic books or games.  For some reason I bought Todd a baseball glove with all my money instead.

• Our house often smelled of perm solution from my mom doing people’s hair to earn extra money to pay the bills

• My mom gives me a perm, all of the pro baseball players had them so I figured I might as well look the part.  She gave Todd two perms. I looked ridiculous.

• I spend a huge amount of my time hanging out and playing with my cousin Steve as a child, I haven’t spoken to him in 10 years? Why? I don’t know….

• I save up 70 or 80 dollars for our vacation at the beach to be used exclusively for playing video games at the arcade.  At 25 cents a play surely this would last forever.  I run out of money and wind up stealing money from my Mom’s wallet to get my “fix”  I later admit it to her and recognize I had a problem.  The admission saves me from punishment.

• After I got a chocolate shake from Hardee’s I thought I would be cool and dump it in a public mailbox .  I would shoot myself if I saw me doing that now.

• I have a huge interest in girls but for some reason none of them come over and ask me out.

• I start taking baseball more seriously, that is my career plan.  It paid well, it was something I was good at and you get to sign autographs and be on TV.  I have no back up plan.

• I meet my baseball coach and some other players at the local athletic association at 6 am in the morning before school to throw during the off-season.  I study books on pitching, I start working out on my own for the first time. My coach really thought I had potential.

• I fall on ice and smash my throwing elbow.  I am never the same.

• I get suspended from school for a week and am threatened with expulsion and/or mental examination because of a prank we did to the librarian.  I never even had detention before.  I found out that getting in trouble makes you popular.

• I look forward to huge rewards for my graduation from high school.  My Dad gives me a set of used wire wheel covers in a burlap bag.  I’m incredibly disappointed but put them on the Buick anyway and try to keep them clean.

• I had my first real girlfriend. She was crazy.  I left college for her. I couldn’t wait to get away from her a couple years later.

• In my first year of driving I run my dad’s VW bus head on into a tree. We lose our cat that was with us out the popped out windshield.  Later that year I hydroplane on 2 bald tires that I installed for burnouts.  I wreck 4 cars including my own. I drove like an idiot.

• I drop out of 2 different colleges after incredibly brief stints.  My dad does not talk to me for 6 months. I decide I would rather start making money doing some sort of hands on work and college was a waste of money. It just wasn’t the thing for me.

• I arrive at a moment where I realize it wasn’t nice to constantly tease and harass my brother. I stop doing it. 

• I work at a supermarket and find a 16 year old girl that later became my first wife.  My next 8 years are spent on an emotional roller coaster that thankfully ends with divorce after 3 years of marriage.

• In High School, I get official letters from the Blue Jays and Pirates about tryouts for their minor league organizations. I ignore them because I am so in love with my girlfriend.

• I play in a company football game at Thanksgiving.  I fall down trying to play defense.  Another guys kicks me in the head with his football cleats, driving me face first into the muddy, cold dirt.  I get up and finish the game even though I am sure I had a concussion.

• I get drunk for the first time at my cousin Steve’s wedding. I am 24 years old at the time and was recently married to my first wife. I feel bad about breaking my promise to myself to never drink but I just felt the need.

• My comfort blanket that my Mom made for me as a child is still in my possession.

• While loading up a truck for Goodwill from a room literally filled with garbage bags of unwanted items and clothing, an old lady that worked there said to me, “You’ll make a good husband, you are a hard worker”

• Before I dropped out of college I met with an English professor I had.  I told him I felt like I wanted to do physical stuff, fix things and that I didn’t think I needed college to do that. He said “Why not do both”?

• My baseball coach keeps giving me hell cause he says I am lackadaisical in my execution on a throw to third base.  He angers me so the next time I almost break the third baseman’s hand by throwing it so hard.  He used anger to motivate me to perform better from that point on.

• I have my best baseball season during my summer as a 15 year old.  We lose the championship game at Municipal stadium.  I also got to pitch at the all-star game.  It was great.

• My grandfather on my mom’s side goes from a happy go lucky guy with a smile always on his face to an old dying man who can’t remember who I am in the space of 2 years. I go to visit him and just cry, he cries too.

• I spend an entire weekend doing nothing but trying to finish Bionic Commando. I feel guilty but proud of my accomplishment at the same time.

• I buy my dad gifts from Sears regularly for the holidays.  He accepts them without making a fuss.

• One of my best friends from school kills himself. Being friends meant I used to bust his ass all the time about being fat and generally giving him a hard time.  At his funeral I hoped he knew I was only kidding because I never got to tell him. I think about him often.

• I was working on gluing the top together for my wood shop project.  I showed it to my teacher.  He said it wasn’t done right and smashed it to the ground.  It broke right on the seam where the glue was so I guess he knew what he was talking about.

• I get my first computers, a TI 99/4A and a Coleco Adam.  My Mom spends a ton of money to get me these things.  The Coleco is a piece of junk that breaks in a few months. I still thought it was the coolest thing around.  Saving programs to a cassette tape was a challenge. Anyone remember Buck Rogers?

• My dad and my stepmom go away for a weekend and leave me in charge of their house and animals.  I come back from somewhere and find their one dog had knocked over and eaten almost an entire bottle of it’s epilepsy medicine.  I take the dog to the vet to try to save it.  It never wakes up. 

• I write a letter to the scout that scouted me 6 years earlier and ask him if it is too late to still be considered for pro-baseball.  He said it’s not.  I try to start throwing again and immediately feel the pain from 4 years prior.  I give up my dream of baseball.

• I play baseball for 8-9 years. I don’t remember my Mom ever seeing me play.

• My Mom has a bunch of boyfriends after her divorce, some long term some not.  None of them work out.

• I sell a car to the a guy that used to be vice-principal of my high school.  He pays full price plus the addendum sticker.  The dealership and I make tremendous money on the deal.  I feel very guilty.

• Everyday I come home from work smelling like meat.  My boots have permanent pieces of meat goo stuck to them. It is gross.

• During my stint of selling cars I work with some of the most interesting people.  Unfortunately within 14 months almost all of them have moved on to other places. (including myself)

• I prepare for my next cold call to sell a business phone book advertising.  I spend a half hour researching their field of business, preparing my answers to their possible objections and planning three different advertising plans.  I make the call and they hang up on me at “I’m from the Donnelly Directory….”

• After leaving college I pick up work helping a firewood cutter.  I get paid $10 a cord.  He says on average you could do 4 cords on a good day.  I never worked so hard for 40 bucks in my life.

• I get up at 5:30 am to get to the gym by 6 am.  I go to work at Goodwill by 7:30 to pick up people’s unwanted crap all day.  I drive to Allentown 3 nights a week to go to computer tech school and get home around 11:30. I do this for a year.

• I give my brother my old Chevelle instead of making him pay me for it. I feel guilty about all the years of abusing him. It’s the least I can do.

• I take my Firebird to the dragstrip and run 16 odd second quarter mile at 87 mph.  It was really fun. 

• I drive my 69 Firebird Convertible home in a snowstorm.  It gets stuck on the smallest of grades.  I sell it that spring.  How I miss it……

• My mom gives me her Chevrolet Citation after I wreck the car she gave me previously, a 69 Buick Special Deluxe.  I enjoy doing tremendous smoke churning burnouts  to impress my friends.  I still didn’t learn my lesson I guess.

• My brother gets the rear quarter panel of his car shot up while raiding someone’s house.  I think to myself that Todd is having a more exciting adolescence than I did.

• I bowl a 267 game.  I am at the pinnacle of my bowling career.

• Pete and I play 36 holes of golf at Manor golf course.  The second 18 in a driving rainstorm.  We walked all 36. I think I scored better the 2nd time around.

• I recently started playing volleyball and was at my first tournament at the beach.  It was cold enough that I played in socks and sweats.  I heard some guy on the other team mutter in my direction , “That guy “thinks” he is a hitter” I hated him ever since.

• I am pitching against Anteitam.  I am in the zone.  I can put the ball anywhere I want, as hard as I want, anytime I want.  It feels awesome. I strike out batters easily and smile as I see the frustration  come across their face.

• I am playing co-ed doubles in 55 degrees, 30 mph winds and driving rain at the beach.  We win the tournament.  

• It’s 10PM and we are about to win a tournament where we had 110 teams in our division.  It feels fantastic but I am so tired my celebration is little more than a weak raising of the hands.  I shoulda done a cartwheel or something.

• I land normally playing indoor 6’s but feel a burn down my right knee. The pain never goes away. Getting old sucks.

• I kick a 45 yard field goal in between matches at a volleyball tournament.  I am damn proud even though no one else seemed to care.

• I spend months trying to be able to dunk a basketball on a regulation rim.  I only have a handful of successful dunks out of hundreds of attempts.

• During warmups at Flying Hills I bounce several warm up hits out of the court on one bounce. I’m very proud.  I never do it again.

• I am pitching in an adult men’s league, it is so hot on the dirt mound that it is tough to breath.  I am getting shelled, my shoulder hurts, I take myself out and quit the team.

• I meet my second wife at O’Kelleys.  I ask her to lift her shirt and show me her chest.  We get married a few years later.

• I am incredibly ill.  We just received nearly 3 feet of snow and I am too weak to shovel it.  Alison goes out and works on it for hours.

• I get so drunk on our honeymoon that I sit with my head down on a table for 3 hours and throw up on myself as 2 kind hearts drug me out under each arm.

• I get to see the Baumgardner bird house for the first time.  I think exotic birds are cool.  I shortly go out and buy a cockatiel. It hates me.  These things live 20 years…..

• I decide that my divorce was a good reason to move away.  I finally do 5 years later.

• Alison teams up with me to play 2 on 2 Warcraft against another team on the internet.  I go on the offensive to try to protect her while she built up defense. I don’t remember if we won or lost.

• I get my first computer job making 16k a year.  I almost electrocute myself pulling out a light fixture that my spiteful boss wanted removed when we changed offices. I still thought this was a lot better than driving a truck.

• I spend countless hours playing Madden football with my buddy Troy.  I used to beat him all the time. Then he got better. We had a lot in common, liked drinking, videogames and were both in bad relationships.

• We have our Christmas party at O’Kelley’s, at the end of the evening there is a table full of empty beer glasses and I’m tired from playing countless games of John Elway football, air hockey and pool.  It is the happiest I ever was to be at a job.  It was pure fun.  I became much more entertaining when I drank.  

• I run into the guy that slept with my ex-wife at a bar.  I shove him, unleash a verbal barrage but never throw that punch that I yearned to do so badly. Noone I ever knew deserved a punch in the face more than this guy. I proceed to beat myself up about not doing it for years afterward.

• My ex-mother-in-law tried to give me sexual advice.  It was one of the most awkward moments of my life.

• I collect all the name plates of people that left the company.  I miss them and wish things could stay the same. I still have them.

• I set up a BBS (Bulletin Board System) and eventually have 4 phone lines running into my house.  I discover online chatting, messaging and get hooked.  I like the idea of providing a service that people used and appreciated. I meet a lot of geeks.

• I become friends with 2 guys that have been friends of each other their entire lives.  They are unlike any friends I had before.  They are both in my wedding.

• Alison and I practice bumping the volleyball in our bowling alley sized backyard.  The goal was to get 20 successful bumps back and forth.

• I decide to get “big”  I take creatine and increase my strength to levels I never expected.  I stop taking it and get weak again.

• I work in a place where a typical day of work consisted of playing games, dodging flying food, and surfing the web for illegal software.  It’s fun for awhile, grows old after that.

• We move back into my mom’s house.  We have so much stuff that all the floor space is filled with boxes stacked 6 feet high.  Most of it we don’t need. We keep it anyway.

• It’s Christmas Day. We go to the beach.

• My dad drives the moving truck 1200 miles and helps me unload in south florida august heat.  He has done many similar things for me over the years.

• My sister lives in South Korea for several months.  It was supposed to be a great time with a chance to make good money.  It turned out to be neither.

• I am walking down the aisle of the local grocery store and realize that I am isolated from everyone and everything I have known for 30 years.  I feel lonely.

• Somewhere I start caring a lot more about what other people are doing wrong.  I am sick of people that are rude, have no common sense or don’t give a damn. It makes life more frustrating.  I write letters to the editor of the paper.

• My soon to be ex-wife and I get drunk and openly discuss how our relationship sucks and how it was going to end.  It was one of the few honest conversations we ever had.

• I am working out at the gym with my new girlfriend (Alison) shortly after I split up with my first wife.  My ex-Mother-in-law and ex-sister-in-law come up to talk to me because they heard that I had talked to my ex-brother-in-law about how my ex-sister-in-law was a slut and had cheated on him. (sisters are really alike) They came up to give their side of the story. Alison jumped in and yelled at them to leave me alone and that they were no longer part of my life.  They scurried away like dogs with their tails between their legs.  It was nice to have someone stick up for you that way. 

• I finally sell my car that I have owned for 8 years, the longest I ever owned a car by far, to a nice couple from Nicaragua.  I find out that they totaled it 2 weeks later.  I mourn for my car.

• I decide to not bother to tie down a pond kit we bought.  As I am driving down the road it flies out into the opposing lane of traffic in front of an oncoming truck.  It slams on it’s brakes and narrowly avoids getting rear ended.  I realize that in a slightly different circumstance my laziness could have resulted in killing somebody. I feel lucky that day.

• I have recently accomplished most of the goals I have had set for 5 years or so, I have most everything I could want but I feel somehow lost.  I don’t know what my next goal will be.

• I get my first job where I have an office with a door.  I can never close the door, lest people think you are doing something you shouldn’t be and I never get to talk to most people because they are in offices too.  I liked cubicles better.

• I wake up at 5am and look for a good poem for my brother’s wedding.  I rehearse my speech repeatedly.  I only got about 75% of it correct during the reception but I got applause anyway.  In my brother’s speech for my wedding he wished for my wedding day to be the worst day of the rest of our lives. (Think about it)

• I’m watching NFL Sunday ticket on my DBS satellite system in BOSE surround sound through my Tivo digital recorder that gets it’s updates over the internet via my digital cable modem through my prewired CAT5 wiring. I am at the pinnacle of techno geekiness. How in the world did I manage before all of this “stuff”?

• I take out my RC plane that I have crashed multiple times due to ignoring adverse flying conditions. There are storm clouds all around but at that precise moment the wind didn’t feel bad. I decide to fly and wind up nose diving the plane into the neighbor’s roof after storm gusts came blowing in. I am frustrated with my inability to be patient.

• New Years Day. A beautiful day to take my 71 Buick out for a quick spin.  A half mile down the road, there is smoke from behind the dash. 15 minutes later all that is left of my car is a burned up wreck. I’ll never forget that moment where I realized I couldn’t put the fire out and had to watch it burn.

• We adopt a puppy, against my better judgment.  I haven’t had a dog my entire adult life and I understand why now. Dogs are a lot of work, much more than the 2 cats, 2 birds and fish in the pond we already have.  However, she is very cute.

• After writing a letter to the editor, I have a news lady come out to my house to interview me for part of a spot they are running on the 11 oclock news.  I comb my hair, put on a clean shirt and try to not come off as an idiot on the camera.  They played one sentence of the interview.

• I get clear invisalign braces. For the past 30 years I have been very self conscious of my crooked teeth. I remember laying in bed and pushing on them really hard trying to move them into place as a child. It’s about time.

• I replace my burned Buick with an 88 Vette. It has a laundry list of problems but it looks good.  I always wanted a Vette.  I feel guilty about having it though.

• I’m riding to the NFC championship game on a deluxe bus with 2 tv’s, more food and alcohol that is humanly possible to consume and a bus full of crazed Eagles fan.  It couldn’t get much better…. well I guess the Eagles could have won, that may have been a little better.

• Late January and I make a snowy drive to the top of the Pagoda that over looks berks county. It looks how I remember, it’s cold, very windy and there isn’t another person around.  I think how amazing it is that I will be back in 70 degree weather in a matter of hours.  It always amazes me.

• I walk around my dad’s place and take pictures.  I may never see it again, he is moving to New Mexico. It’s been in our family for 30+ years. It doesn’t seem possible that anyone else could own it.

• My neighbor whom we originally befriended when we moved in, called me up screaming and cursing at me because I called and left a message a month earlier about his wife letting their dog run down the middle of the road.  He ends the conversation by challenging my to take “my skinny ass” down there.  Unexpectedly for him, I did just that as my anger was overriding any sense of reason.  We screamed at each other for a few minutes and he backed down.  I need more of that, it was therapeutic.

• The Vette I bought is nothing but a colossal headache.  I realize that I lack the time, patience, tools and money to support a project car anymore.  It’s up for sale only 6 months after buying it.

• I make more money than I figured I would ever need 15 years ago and still can’t seem to get ahead.  Either inflation has been really high or I just spend too much.

• I spend the majority of my weekends doing indoor and outdoor, house related projects.  The idea of having a single family home with lots of land doesn’t sound as attractive as it did 3 years ago.

• I buy a super, new Cub Cadet tractor while Alison is away.  I bring it home myself in the truck.  I pull up the driveway and attach the ramps to the tailgate to back the tractor down.  As I was doing this, I thought to myself , “Self, it may be a bad idea to do this with the back of the truck facing slightly downhill”  I ignore the thought and proceed to back the tractor off, have the ramps slip and then have the tractor, with me on it, fall off the back of the truck, rear end first.  After I hit the cement and manage to push the unit off me, the first thing I do is to look around to make sure nobody saw me.  Later I realize I was lucky to avoid serious injury.  I wonder why I don’t listen to myself.

• I actually talk to Alison about how frustrated I get about my issues with speaking at times.  I misspeak, mumble and get tongue tied far too often, a trait that my one grandmother also seemed to have.  I never admitted it to anyone before.  The admission makes me feel a bit better but I still talk with a marble mouth more than I can stand. It makes me not want to talk.

• I look at this list and I wonder if most of the entries have already been written or if there are many more to come.  I fear the former is true.

Yesterday I was in a somber mood pretty much the entire day as a result of the chicken ordeal.  My conscience is really weighed down by the knowledge that I could have done things to prevent the chickens demise.  After talking to my neighbor who also had chickens and also had them killed, I am thinking the odds of it being raccoon(s) or a fox are about 50/50.  She said racoons got hers and that they just want to kill the chickens but not necessarily eat them.  Our chickens were not eaten.

After work last night I stopped at Home Depot and bought several clasp style hinges that would have easily prevented access to the coop on Saturday night.  I plan to back it up further by using small caribiners through the hole to prevent rotation.  Two clasps will go on each door.  I’m even considering a wire rig that I could attach to the ramp to easily raise it at night giving chickens a near bullet proof safe haven. Of course if I had proactively taken these steps the chickens would still be here today, a fact that will continue to haunt me for the forseeable future.

I need to try to refocus myself as this weekend is Alison’s 5K for the Humane Society, our third largest 5K we do each year.  There are a lot of moving parts to this race and the course geography is far from ideal with the start and finish lines being close to a 1/2 mile apart.  The running club has just obtained a dedicated golf cart which we will be utilizing heavily for the event to compensate for the distance.

Tonight I am attending a post half marathon meeting to discuss the various breakdowns we had at the event.  It should be an interesting session.

On Saturday the weather initially was pretty nasty with overcast skies, cool air and a pretty steady light rain.  I had weeds to pull so I didn’t let a little rain stop me.  I let the chickens out as well, they didn’t seem to mind getting wet either as they followed me around the yard.   After I finished up Cindy and I got in the van to go pick up the dogs.  Ali was going out late Saturday night and asked if I wanted to have the girls sleep over so of course I said sure.

We had to drive down to Cindy’s office to pick up the Tacoma.  Cindy left it there when she had her mom drive her home Friday after she had some severe dizziness episodes.  It seems to be vertigo-like symptoms that she gets on occasion but we don’t know for sure.

When we got home we both started working on our lists.  Cindy wrote hers out and mine was in my head.  One of the things I was doing was rearranging my desk to accommodate the new Samsung 27″ monitor I grabbed at Costco.  As I was futzing around trying to make it fit Cindy said I should just take the top hutch off my desk to give myself more open desk space.  At first I laughed her off as I told her I have stuff in the hutch portion of the desk that I would not have a place to house otherwise. However the gears in my head started to turn.

I did a quick survey of what would be needed to pull the hutch off which was minor, a few of those cam bolts used in put together yourself furniture and the the nailed on cardboard backing.  I then did an inventory of the items contained in the hutch portion of the desk.  The vast majority of them were items I did not really need or want anymore.  That settled it, the hutch was history.

To be honest the hutch looked pretty trashy. Years ago I bought a MASSIVE old tube style monitor.  In order for it to fit in my desk I had to carve a very messy hole in the cardboard backing to allow the back of the monitor to slide through it.  Of course now that the world is all flat screens I no longer had need for the hole but it’s ugly remains were still there.

After undoing the fasteners Cindy helped me pull the hutch off, revealing a large portion of the wall that I haven’t seen in years as well as a big chunk of reclaimed desktop space.  I decided this would also be a good opportunity to disconnect EVERYTHING that is on my desk and rewire it in a less rat nest-like manner.  Cindy also used the Dyson to sweep areas untouched for years and years.

My desk makeover spurred a chain of cleaning, organizing and throwing out.  Cindy totally redid her desk as well and we also hit the hobby room, cleaning that too.  We threw out a bunch and got rid of a bunch of stuff through our curbside scavengers that I can normally count on to remove almost anything I put out at the end of the driveway.

Initially I tried setting up my stuff with just a naked desktop but logistically it did not work very well.   I wound up using the top portion of Cindy’s desk, which she did not want anymore.  It allowed me some vertical options without overtaking the majority of my table top space like the hutch did.  I am digging the end results of all of our work.

So Saturday night Cindy and I went to see American Sniper, the 7:35 show was picked to give us more time to wrap up our chores.  I already expected it to be fuller than we like as this time of year the normally quiet theater is inundated with snowbirds looking to get their movie fix.  Well as soon as we pulled into the back parking lot we knew we were going to be in trouble.  There were more cars in the lot than either of us had ever seen before.

When we approached the ticket window we saw a long line of gray haired people.  We opted to use the automatic ticket machines that scare off most snowbirds, they were unoccupied.  When we got into the lobby the mass of humanity was again on display with 8 or 9 lines at the concession stand, none with less than 10 people in them.  Geezus christ.  Cindy said she would wait in line while I ran to the bathroom to pee.  When I came out and saw she hardly moved I suggested we just go in and find a seat and then one of us can come back out for refreshments.

So we go in and see the theater is fckin PACKED, the fullest we have ever seen for a Coconut Point movie.  We are accustomed to being able to arrive right at showtime and have zero issue finding a good seat.  Well we paid for that assumption this time.  We walked all the way up to the top of the theater and saw nothing but stray single seats or others that were being held by placeholders.  I am not the type that feels justified asking a whole row of people to move down to accommodate me  because I showed up at the last minute.

We paced up and down and saw nothing.  Our only option left was ALL the way in front at floor level, something Cindy was really opposed to.  She said the last time she sat in front she had a headache.  I told her we should just give it a shot.  I sat down and became the placeholder for the seat next to me as Cindy ran to the bathroom and got us something to drink.  By the time she returned almost every single seat was taken, there were even people just standing, ridiculous.  Experiences like this make me want to steer clear of the theaters until the snowbirds leave the area.

So I had sat in the front row of a theater once or twice before.  It is not an ideal experience for sure but I recalled that after a brief adjustment period of having such a big screen so close you get used to it more or less.  Yes it’s a pain to have to literally pan left and right with your eyes to see everything but it was bearable.

American Sniper opened to HUGE numbers last weekend and evidenced by our experience at the theater, it smashed the competition again.  Evidently people really want to see a real story about our military action in the Middle East.  The first thing that struck me about the film was how dramatic the transformation Bradley Cooper put himself through.  His transformation from Hangover days was incredible, packing on 40 pounds of mostly muscle for the role.  I thought he did a fantastic job portraying the lead character.

I felt the movie was really well done and left me feeling conflicted as it should.  Yes the heroism and bravery on display was compelling.  However the circumstances surrounding it, our invasion of Iraq based on fake pretenses which put both our military and innocent civilians in harms way was an underlying theme of the movie as well.  The film did an excellent job of showing the crushing emotional toll of war on a human being.  Despite us being involved in war operations for over 14 years in Iraq/Afghanistan I think the majority of the US population feels insulated from it, like it isn’t real.  American Sniper pulls back the curtain and based on it’s huge numbers, hopefully more people walk away from it with a more realistic and more appreciative viewpoint of what our men and women in the military have been going through for far too long. I give the flick a very solid A, worth the 200 million+ it has earned thus far.

The other movie Cindy and I watched this weekend was Boyhood, an incredibly risky and ambitious film.  They shot the film over a 12 YEAR period.  The lead character was 6 when it started and 18 when it ended.  you literally watch all of the characters in the movie age 12 years as it covers the life of a family that deals with the ins and outs of growing up.  I found the premise pretty fascinating and enjoyed the movie for all nearly 3 hours even though there wasn’t a single explosion or special effect in the entire thing.  It gets an A.

I skipped ahead in time because I needed to finish with what was an awful experience for Cindy and I that unfolded on Sunday.   We got to bed pretty late on Saturday night so we slept in somewhat on Sunday until around 8AM.  As I walked out into great room I looked out the window as I normally do to look at the chickens who normally come down from their coop at the crack of dawn.

As I looked out the window I instantly stopped in my tracks as I felt a huge wave of emotion enter my body.  I see feathers everywhere and three motionless birds on the ground.  At first I hoped I was still asleep and just in the middle of a nightmare.  I was not.  As I stared in disbelief I saw the left door to the top of the coop was wide open, how the predator gained access obviously.  It was horrible.

I had to go back in the bedroom and tell Cindy who was in the shower what happened.  I told her I didn’t want her to come outside.  Of course she instantly was hysterical and did not heed my warning. She came out as I was surveying the carnage, crying and gasping for air as she came close, just uttering the words “my babies…..” how we really felt about them.

I just sort of stood there, staring as tears filled my eyes both at the sight of our chickens, whom were happy and content just yesterday and seeing Cindy so devastated.  I imagined the terror the birds must have felt and the violent death they suffered and felt responsible.  They trusted me to care for their safety and obviously I failed in that responsibility.

We are pretty sure the predator that killed the birds was a fox.  We saw poop in the garden a couple times over the last few weeks that we identified as fox droppings.  The door that was open was secured at the top by a piece of aluminum framing with a screw in the middle.  To secure the door you rotate it down however there was nothing to prevent a well placed paw swipe from moving the bar so that the door would pop open.  I knew this arm was not very tight but it was at the top of the coop A frame, out of reach, or so I thought.  Plus I just never gave a second of thought to something being smart enough to spin it. It was just an awful, awful moment.

Despite being farm animals, the chickens were the first pets that Cindy and I adopted together.  We didn’t treat them like farm animals, we treated them like part of the family.  It made having them die in our own backyard all the more tragic.  We tried to figure out what time this happened.  Their bodies were not yet cold despite the temps in the 50’s yet it seemed impossible that Cindy or I would not have been woken up with what had to be an incredible amount of noise as the chickens scrambled for their lives.  It just added to the large load of guilt we already were feeling.

We immediately tended to burying the chickens, despite my still being in boxer shorts.  I dug a plot by the bird feeders where Betty, Wilma, and Pebbles liked to hang out so often.  There was such a thick cloud of sorrow and regret as we covered them up, it felt surreal.  I was so angry at myself for letting them down and having them suffer this fate because of my oversight.

The rest of our day as you can imagine was thrown out of whack.  Cindy did the lion share of the morbid task of cleaning up the coop and the evidence of the carnage that went on there.  I parked everything behind the garden out of view from the house.  Cindy did not want the visual reminder to spike the pain, neither did I.  Cindy and I have become very accustomed to gaining comfort and enjoyment from watching the chickens both in and out of coop.  We always would report to the other if the chickens went to bed or had gotten up each and every day.  To have that end unexpectedly, abruptly and as violently as it did is hard for us to handle.

For the rest of the day we both tried to stay as busy as we could as to not dwell on what happened.  We were both only mildly successful in doing so.  I am sure to many or maybe even the majority of people, getting this upset over the death of three chickens seems over the top.  After all, chickens are killed by the hundreds of thousands daily in order to become a cruel cog in the human being food supply. However to us, this was like having a family pet murdered three times over.

Our time with the chickens gave both of us tons of laughs and smiles as we watched them grow and explore the world inside the confines of my backyard.  Each bird had it’s own distinct personality.  Pebbles was the biggest and least social, she often would be off on her own where as the other two were normally side by side.   Wilma was the most pushy chicken, always wanting to be first in line with no problems pushing her way there.  Finally there was sweet Betty, the most docile and smallest of the three hens.  She would let you hold and pet her with little fuss.

Even Nicki and Sadie seemed confused by the lack of chickens in the yard.  Nicki especially LOVED following the three hens around the yard just to be a pest.  Being able to have the dogs and chickens unrestrained in the yard together was something I was really happy about.  It was like they all knew they were part of the same extended family.

I think eventually Cindy and I will get more chickens but it won’t happen before I do some modifications to the coop to prevent anything except a human being to gain access.  As much as I love most animals, if I would have been able to get out in the yard while the attack was going on, whatever was responsible would have had a very short life span if I got my hands on it, despite the predator just doing what it is hard wired to do.

I’m going to miss the chickens running under my feet, hopping up and down excitedly, taking rides on the chicken run as I moved it, running/flapping across the yard to pursue goodies, their silly noises and their self created,  funny looking dust baths they so loved to give themselves.

I am hoping we can avoid any more death in our circle of life for a little while.  It really chops you down.

I forgot to mention an interesting part of last nights half marathon related work.  I probably forgot since I got up at 4AM today, unable to fall back asleep.

I was going through my huge inbox, trying to handle runner requests one at a time.  I came across an email from a 70 something old woman who lives in Miami Beach.  She had gotten my email about the results and what to do if you did not see your name in them.  Unfortunately she didn’t quite follow the instructions completely and I had let her know that in a follow up email.  She wrote back saying her time wasn’t that big of a deal to her and I need not worry about it, she knew I had bigger problems to deal with.

Well her reply struck a chord with me.  I started going through my 10,000 finish line pictures and found an older looking woman that came across wearing a coat, covering up her number however the time was later than was in the email.  Well since I was getting ready to print labels for the award winners I wanted to make sure I had her time right in case it qualified her for the reward.   I didn’t have time to wait for an email reply since most 70+ year olds give email a rather low priority.  Instead I did something I rarely do, picked up the phone and called her.

At first I got the answering machine but once I identified myself as being from Gulf Coast Runners, the husband immediately answered.  He apologized but said they never pick up for unlisted numbers.  I told him who I was and why I was calling.  He sounded happy to hear from me and told his wife to pick up the phone.

She answered and before I could repeat who I was she said she recognized my voice from the race.  I told her I wanted to make sure I got her time in there so I asked if she was wearing a coat when she crossed the line.  She said she was indeed.  The lady was so nice on the phone.  She told me how she has been doing the race for many years and just loves it.  She told me she thought it was very nice of me to make the effort to call her to get her time recorded.

Her husband was on the other line listening evidently.  After we confirmed her time he told me how they felt about the race shirt.  They said that they used to love the old shirts and Faye still wears them to this day.  They both thought it was a real shame that the shirt quality has been so poor the last couple years, especially this year.  I told them we have gotten a ton of bad feedback on the race shirt and there will be no way it will be low quality next year.

Before we hung up they asked me if I ever get over to the east coast.  I said once in awhile but not too often.  They said the next time I do come over to let them know and they will take me(and Cindy) to lunch.  Wow, I couldn’t believe it.  I told them I hope to take them up on that offer sometime.  Sometimes you find little bags of kindness in areas you never expected.