Archives 2022

I got stuck at the new office late last night, I didn’t get home until after 6.  When I ran home for lunch I checked on Cutie, I expected her to be dead based on the state I left her in the morning.  I was very surprised to see she was still hanging in there, she was hardly responsive, but hanging in there, still in the nesting box I set her up in.  I knelt down, petted and talked to her, letting her know I loved her and that everything was going to be ok.  Of course I was unable to say those things without crying, again.  If there is such a thing as a world record for crying over chickens, I am pretty sure I own it.  I headed back to work CERTAIN that when I returned I would be having another chicken burial last night.

So by the time I got out to the coop last night it was almost dark.  I did a double take when I saw Cutie was no longer in the nesting box but on the sand of the chicken run, I have no idea how she managed to get the strength to get out of the box and move a few feet.  She was still alive but still apparently on death’s door, hardly responding when I picked her up.  I put fresh shavings in a nesting box and set her up on the floor of the coop for the night, once again certain that this would be the last time I saw her alive.

When I walked out to the coop at 5:30 AM I was already trying to sort out if I was going to try to immediately bury her this morning or after work.  I open the door and she is still with us.  She is only a whisper at this point but still here.  I set up another nesting box with fresh wood chips and placed her in the chicken run with water beside her although she clearly is no longer eating or drinking.  For the third time I said my tearful goodbyes to Cutie.  At this point I just hope she passes quietly so her suffering can come to an end.  The emotional distress associated with losing these birds is light years beyond what I ever could have imagined going into this.  I thought it would be all sunshine, rainbows and free fresh eggs.  Yes we did get several hundred free eggs but the time, money, effort, and emotions that went into those eggs is enormous.

The weekend has no formal structure other than a few chores.  My state of mind has been poor and I don’t expect it to change much in the near future, if I am being honest.  That is part of the reason I wanted to give running another shot, the physical toll it imparts on my body helps wash away whatever mental toxicity is swirling around.

Last evening after work I did something I thought I would never do again, went for a run.  The last time I ran was in 2020, during covid lockdowns which had all gyms closed.  I started periodically running up and down the parking garage at work.  It felt like a challenging workout and a decent way to challenge my cardio during the lockdown.  After one of those runs I developed really bad knee pain in my left knee which is my “good” one.  My right knee has been scoped twice.

Anyway the pain was bad and long lasting, I was walking with a limp for close to two months.  My theory was the incline/decline did me in.  It was after that injury that I swore off running, accepting that the risk/reward at my age was out of whack.  Since then I didn’t have established cardio training I would do other than the cross trainer cardio machines at the gym.  Maybe 6 months or so ago I started road biking once a week to challenge myself again.  Cycling is great no impact cardio although it definitely has an ass pain penalty,  I am not comfortable in the seat for long periods of time.

A week or two ago I was riding one of my EUC’s by the school where I did the majority of my running.  I commented on video that maybe I should give it a go again, just to see how it felt.  So I picked last night as the time to do that test.  I only wanted to run a mile, it made no sense to try to crush myself the first time back in a year and a half.  I just wanted to see if I could survive it, no speed tracking was utilized.

The first couple laps always used to be uncomfortable and they still were, to an even larger degree.  It felt like my body was saying, “WTF, we don’t do this anymore for a reason”  I just kept moving forward at my slow and steady pace.  Even with the discomfort, it felt good to be out there running, pushing myself to do the hard thing.  I completed the four laps and even tried to “sprint” to the finish.  My sprint was really just using longer strides, I don’t think my foot cadence improved much.  Even though it was only a mile, I felt a sense of accomplishment.

I had a funny moment after the run.  I was stretching on one of the parking lot islands as I always did.  When I came out of the hamstring stretch I guess I winced.  A teacher was walking out to her car and evidently saw me.  She asked with concern if I was ok, I must have not looked that way.  I told her I was fine, it was just post run aches and pains.  She followed letting me know if I needed any help there was a deputy near by.  I thanked her but assured her I was ok.  Man, I must have looked like I was having a grabber.

So even though the run was only a mile I was breathing much harder than I ever do while cycling 10 miles.  When I cycle my average heart rate is normally somewhere around 140.  When I run that number jumps up to the 160 area.  Those additional 20 HB’s a minute make a big difference with my perceived exertion level.

I was glad to have survived the run and I still feel human today.  I have lower body soreness which will probably be worse tomorrow but all in all I don’t feel awful, which is good news.  I have a loose goal of trying to do a 5K at the beginning of March.  I would like to do a weekly run AND road biking session if I can pull it off.  I have a small fire in my gut that is starting to gain fuel.

It looks like I may be losing another chicken, soon.  Cutie has been lethargic the last few days.  She has been mobility limited for well over a year. Walking has been painful for her and I have always tried to assist whenever possible, moving her around the yard to her hang out spots when it seemed to me like she wanted to go there as well as putting her on the perch every night.  She had fallen off the perch over night over the weekend which concerned me.

However the last two days she started doing something that is a pretty tell tale sign she is dying based on my past experiences with the birds.  She started tucking her head under her wing.  I have had multiple hens do that when they started acting sick and every one of them died.  This morning I set her up in the run in a nesting box with food and water right next to her.  When I get home tonight I am pretty sure she will have passed on.

I was already crying saying goodbye to her this morning.  Tonight will be even more miserable.  She is one of my favorite hens we have ever had.  She knows her name and we have bonded from the hundred of chicken Uber rides I have given her.  I am really tired of loss…..

Yesterday I did manage to get the oil changed in the Tacoma.  Even though the synthetic oil and oil filter are rated for 10,000 miles I still have always changed it at 5K intervals, just because.  It was very windy yesterday so I knew there was a good chance I would wind up wearing some of the oil.  My prediction came true, I hopped in the shower afterward to de-oil myself the best I could.  If I do eventually wind up with a Cybertruck, oil changes will not be something  I miss performing.

I did go to the new park with Elsa as well.  I am not sure what happened to her extended leash so I bought one at Walmart when I got the oil change supplies.  Despite there being next to no one at the park she was still somewhat nervous being in a new location.  I walked around with her for 30-45 minutes.  I want to take her there more often so she gets more comfortable.

Later in the afternoon I did a quick test using my new ZV-1 camera for a live stream.  I definitely noticed an increase in video quality doing it this way.  Unfortunately there is some other issue that forced the battery to run on battery instead of the USB power, so the camera abruptly shut off after roughly 20 minutes.

Friday night our data center went dark, a necessity for the building UPS upgrade that was scheduled for this weekend.  It was the first time in several years it has been shut down which is not great for several reasons.  When you have server hardware that has been running 24/7 for years there is always a risk of something failing once it is allowed to thermal cycle.  Also turning off everything means synchronization that occurs out to the cloud terminates.  Most modern networks don’t respond well to being turned off for prolonged periods of time so I was hoping the original projection of everything being back up by Saturday evening held up.  It didn’t.

Supposedly something in the battery cabinet was mis-wired.  The contractors left the building about 6:20 and told our guy on site that they were getting needed parts at Home Depot and would return at 8AM Sunday, expecting the work to take another hour to complete.  They were already gone when I got this update.  I already found myself annoyed that the plan was not go get the parts, come back, and get the work done Saturday night.  There did not appear to be much sense of urgency.

So Sunday morning rolls around.  The installers are there on time at 8AM but it is now 10AM, and I haven’t heard any update.  I call and talk to the project manager, asking what was going on.  He said the guy was still trying to fix the issue, evidently it is taking longer than expected.  I reminded him of this supposedly only taking an hour and how I was not happy about the data center being down a full 36 hours at this point.  When he talked to the guy doing the repair I could hear the stress in his voice so I backed off, I didn’t need to pile on.  I got a text at 11:30 that the power was back on finally.

So everything came back up except one thing, the state file server.  Unfortunately this is a crucial part of our daily operations and once I couldn’t get it up talking to my guy on the phone I decided to go in there.  I took Elsa with since she loves the office.  After talking with the states after hours support it was decided to power cycle the server, after doing so all was well once again, although I’m not quite sure why.

By the time I got home the Eagles/Bucs game was in the second quarter.  The Bucs were already ahead, dominating early, which continued most of the game.  For some reason the Eagles got away from their run first mentality that was the reason they had success in the second half of the year. Getting behind 17-0 by halftime put more emphasis on passing, which is not the situation where this offense shines.  Jalen Hurts is a great athlete but he is not a strong armed, accurate passer, so when you get into situations where you need that, the team is in trouble.  Hurts was erratic, threw two int’s and really had no answers, despite two garbage TD’s later in the game.

The game was so lopsided I only half paid attention while I ran the carpet cleaner followed by the floor steamer in the house.  It had been a while since either chore had been done.  The mere fact that the Eagles made the playoffs is a surprise in itself.  The fact that they got steamrolled by a much better team should not come as a surprise.

I am off today for MLK.  I need to do a few pit stops which will include getting materials to change the oil in the Tacoma, an unfun task.  I do want to take Elsa for a walk around the new park and see how she does.  She has had very minimal structured walks like that, I think I would like to try to see how she likes them.  It might be good for both of us.

We had a SEVERE line of weather roll through Saturday morning, spinning up several tornadoes .  It was also the morning of the Naples Half Marathon, a race I timed for many years.  The appreciation meter for not doing race timing anymore was quite high this weekend.

This morning when I opened up the coop door I saw the stiff body of Popcorn on the floor.  Unlike certain chicken deaths, this one was not all that surprising.  For months and months the hen was on a rollercoaster of health.  For weeks at a time she would seem pretty normal and then for several days she would be very lethargic, often throwing up liquid from her mouth, however she always bounced back.

Up until early this week she was acting normal, aggressively contending for food like she normally would, despite being low bird on the pecking order.  She got picked on by all of the other birds.  One thing that had changed in the last couple weeks was she lacked the strength to jump from the coop floor straight onto the perch as she did her entire life.  Either I would help her or she would use the ladder to get up there a rung at a time.

Since she had recovered from similar symptoms so many times before it was my expectation she would do it again, I was wrong.  I got a trash bag to wrap her body in while I cleaned the coop.  Once I was done I had another cold, tearful, and solemn burial in the back of the property, beyond the fence line, where all of the other hens have been buried in recent years.

Popcorn was never a real affectionate bird although she was always front and center when food or treats were involved.  I remember just last week laughing as I gave the girls blueberries.  If the other hens were not quick enough, Popcorn would steal the berry right from their beaks.  She also was probably the most athletic chicken we ever had.  She could jump very high and routinely would snag flowers mid-air as I tossed them her direction.  You may recall she was also the bird that I probed with my finger, checking to see if she was egg bound, the only time that ever happened.

Even though she wasn’t friendly, we sort of bonded over the various times I would try to soak her and clean her vent, another side effect of her health issues.  Last night she was too weak to get up on the perch herself.  She stood there and looked at me, waiting for help.   When I placed her up top Fiona tried to be her normal bitchy self and stop Popcorn from getting to her normal spot.  I took my hand and blocked Fiona, Popcorn seemed to understand what I was doing and slowly moved to her spot for the night.  As I do every night when I close their door, I told the chickens I loved them, as if they understand.

In the big picture I know Popcorn was sick for awhile and I knew this was coming sooner rather than later.  Still there is no avoiding the emotion that is triggered for me when a bird dies.  I only have three hens left.  Kathy and Cutie are the older hens, two years older than Fiona.  Fiona is the healthiest of the bunch.  Kathy has been at death’s door once before and recovered but has been losing some weight.  Cutie Pie is one of my all time favorites but has had leg/mobility issues for at least a year.  I carry her around the yard when possible to make it easier on her.  With only three chickens remaining I see my days as a chicken farmer winding down, never to be repeated again.

This weekend is a long one for me thanks to MLK day.  There is a major project going on at our main office where the building UPS is being replaced.  If things go as I hope my involvement should be minimal but there are always risks with powering down a data center that is typically up and running 24/7 for years at a time.

I do look forward to seeing if the Eagles can shock the world and beat the Buccaneers in the first round of the playoffs on Sunday.

I have had a number of things that have been less than great the last several months, one of those has been sleep.  I have this thing that happens semi-regularly where if I wake up in the middle of the night to pee I often have a very difficult time falling back asleep.  For instance last night I was up at 3AM and I bet I was lucky to have fallen back asleep by 5, only to be rudely awakened by the alarm clock 35 minutes later.  It makes for feeling pretty lethargic throughout the day.

It seems like when this happens my brain goes into connect the dots mode, with thoughts rolling through my head where one thing leads to another to another and another.  I need to find a way to cut those lines and just go the F back to sleep.   I have had other physical signs like the weird nausea I still get often when preparing breakfast. It can get to the point where I am doing slow, deep breaths to suppress the urge to throw up.  Some mornings I skip the eggs altogether and just double up on the toast.  I also have lost 7-8 pounds since September, something I actually am ok with as I have said for several years I would prefer to keep my weight closer to 180.

Who knows if this is just more wonderful side effects of aging, stress, or something else.  Whatever the source the treatment plan is the same, just keep trudging forward, like a tugboat pulling an oversized load.

Yesterday afternoon I headed home to meet installers.  I was finally getting a new garage door opener installed.  The opener I had came with the house, making it roughly 21 years old at this point.  It still worked but was a noisy chain drive and it lacked some of the features of modern “smart” openers like wifi connectivity and remote access.  The LiftMaster unit I bought is quiet belt drive and has full internet connectivity.  The install was done in a little more than a half hour.

After the installers left I wasted little time downloading and setting up the app.  It’s pretty cool and can be integrated with Amazon deliveries to allow them to place items in the garage if you want which would be helpful if you live in an area known for package theft.  I do not so I didn’t turn that on.  I like being able to control my garage door from anywhere as well as know if it is open or closed.  The door also integrates with Ring which is sweet since I already have around a dozen of their devices around the house. I got the opener working with the Tesla in less than 60 seconds, the Tacoma is being a bit more problematic but I’ll try to figure it out this week.

I spent the last two days at the new building.  Things are coming together.  Most of our tech is up and talking.  Next week the final puzzle pieces should be put into place.

Last night after I finished my Monday night whirlwind of tasks I sat down to call my dad, it was his 75th birthday.  I talked to him for over a half an hour, reflecting on life after three quarters of a century, which seems hard to believe.  I have very clear and not so distant seeming memories of when we traveled north for his surprise 70th birthday party in Marienville.  It was really a memorable trip where we got to experience brutal NW PA winter conditions.  Most days were single digits yet overall, it was sort of awesome.  To imagine that another half decade has blinked by since that trip seems impossible, if it wasn’t true.

It was good to catch up with dad, he is one of the few people I have where open and honest discussions about life can take place.  The good, the bad, and the ugly are all on the table.

Last night I finished off the relaunched Dexter series, a popular show from a decade ago where the main character is a serial killer, except he only kills bad guys.  I thought overall they did a good job with the series reboot but it wasn’t up to the standards of the original which is almost always the case.  The way the story ended up was not quite what I was expecting, but overall I would give the final, FINAL season of Dexter a B+.

I don’t have much time to expand on my past weekend and that’s a good thing because not a ton happened.  I mowed the front property to knock the ragged edge off.  Other than standard weekend chores the rest of the time was spent doing whatever came to mind, riding, gaming, watching the Eagles 2nd string get blown out by the Cowboys, watching 14 Peaks(B+) and whatever else got my attention.

Today I spent my entire day at the new building, making sure various tasks that need to be completed in order for a successful open  of the place got done.  It seems like when you check one thing off two more appear on the list.  I will be quite glad when this place is open for business.

I did shoot two videos over the weekend if you care to watch them.

Last night was quiet night on the homestead that was the new normal in my weeknight routines, chicken chores, dinner prep, some dvr content, some 3D room work and some WoW. Of course hanging with Elsa is interwoven through out all of it. When I am eating dinner on the love seat she normally stretches out on the big sofa which she has all to herself.  After I finish eating I usually will go over on the sofa with her.  She instantly will come over to me and lay her head on my lap, it’s very sweet and endearing.

This is the first “standard” weekend I have had in awhile.  I have some standard things to knock out in the process, including giving the grass a quick mow to even things out for the new year.  I wish I could say I had something exciting planned as well but that would be a lie.