Trying to establish the new normal, Just good enough, Rainbow ride

Late last week I received back Elsa’s ashes. The place also included a paw print that I did not know I was receiving. Getting her remains back was emotionally impactful as you can imagine. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that she is gone, for real.

The days since Elsa’s passing have been a mixed bag. Most of the time I have kept my mind busy and occupied. I played pickleball last week, and on Sunday despite having some significant lower back pain just because I wanted the distraction, the appearance of normalcy.

There was one moment before Elsa was put to sleep where I felt like I knew that this was going to be the end for her. It was the Saturday evening before. She had a very rough day where the small amount of food she ate during the day was either thrown up or pooped out. She was exhausted.

I had her out on the lanai with me which faces west. I was sitting next to Elsa with my hand on her back. All of a sudden I look towards the sky and there is a small rainbow hanging there. It was there for a very long time. As I looked at it with tears running down my face I felt something that told me that this was going to be the last rainbow I share with Elsa. It’s a moment I’ll never forget.

So my goal this week is to get rolling into whatever this new normal is. I didn’t go to the gym last week and in general I didn’t give two F’s about much. Of course that isn’t viable for very long so I need to again resume moving forward, never losing appreciation and gratitude for the time Elsa brought light into my life.

I listened to the Eagles game where they scored with 10 seconds left to survive the game with the Titans. After two games it’s already clear the Eagles have some major flaws that will have to be ironed out but hey a win is a win. Jalen Hurts despite throwing two int’s, including a pick six had a strong game overall. It would be nice to see him throw the ball like that more consistently this year.

This weekend we discovered that Mia likes bike rides. We bought a carrier that is designed to be mounted on the handlebars. I attached it to my girlfriend’s bike yesterday. We took our first test ride with the new set up last night. Mia loves sticking her head out the window when driving so this was like a better version of that for her. We went for somewhere around a six to seven mile ride with Mia loving every minute of it. I was riding my V12S, using the seat I installed a few months ago to get some seated riding in as well. I am pretty sure that bike rides with Mia will be one of those things that becomes part of the new normal.

While we were out there was an amazingly clear and huge rainbow which immediately made me think of Elsa and our moment the Saturday night we were on the lanai. I have to keep reminding myself that life is a book filled with various chapters. Just because I have to close the 10 year chapter of Elsa’s time with me doesn’t mean there won’t be other great chapters to come.

As rough as this has been on me it may be even worse for my girlfriend as she has never had to deal with this scenario before. It’s been very hard for her daughters as well whom viewed Elsa as their dog too. It’s going to be a long and slow process of reconciling the grief. We can tell that Mia is confused/sad as well, wondering where her sister is.