Just waiting

I made a mental pseudo-commitment to head to our county wellness center sometime in October for two things. I want to schedule a cardiac follow up since it has been a few years since I last had one. With my mom dying from a widow maker heart attack at 67 and my younger brother having a more minor heart attack in the same artery last year I would be foolish not to be proactive about it.

Secondly I am going to see if I can get a referral to an orthopedist. My right hip, lower back and both knees are a mess and have been for quite awhile. I have had no imaging done on my joints in at least 10 years, possibly closer to 15. I am pretty positive it isn’t going to be a pretty picture. It would be nice however to have a better idea of exactly what is breaking down so I can decide what I want to do about it going forward. Both my dad and my younger brother have had a hip replacement done as well. I was hoping I could buck the genetic inclination towards these sorts of issues via my mostly healthy lifestyle choices but it isn’t working out that way. I am tired of the near constant pain when doing most anything that has me upright.

The days this week have sort of blended together. It’s only been a little more than two weeks since Elsa passed. It’s been an odd time. In some ways it feels like it happened longer ago but in others it seems like it just happened. I have tried to keep myself emotionally insulated most of the time but there are times when it just rushes in. One day earlier in the week I was doing my normal preparations at home before work when all of a sudden I just started crying, hard. I usually lament the passing of time and how rapidly it seems to occur at this point of life. This is one time where I wish time would pass faster to help dull the pain of her loss.

This weekend has no real major focal points in it. The time will be filled with a balance of productivity and enjoyable activities. That’s all I can hope for.