Less of a limp, 0 to 7, Enders

Friday night Cindy and I pulled out for Sebring, the spot we were staying to be closer to the Tough Mudder, which was held in River Ranch, about an hour further away.  The La Quinta we stayed in was surprisingly nice, it looked/smelled almost brand new.  The room was very nice as well with a big huge bed.  Unfortunately for whatever reason the nice accommodations did not translate into a good nights sleep.  I tossed and turned quite a bit and probably woke up at least dozen times throughout the night.  The 4:30 alarm was not welcomed.

We fueled up with Pop Tarts and chocolate milk that we grabbed the night before.  I also tried to learn from my mistakes from last year where the only pre-race hydration I did was a single 5 hour energy. I drank a good amount of water both the night before and on the way to the race.

The GPS in the truck seems to purposely give you a worst case time estimate.  Every destination I punched in I wound up arriving around 33% faster than first predicted.  I actually prefer that to an overly optimistic figure.  This tendency was once again the case for the trip to the Mudder site, we arrived somewhere around 6:30, nice and early for our 7:45 am scheduled start.  We parked in our PREMIUM $25 parking location, at least it was close as promised.

I had never had a start time this early, the 7:45 time was the first wave of the weekend.  It was so early that registration check in wasn’t even open.  We stood in a line for a good 20 minutes until they started shuffling bodies through about 7:05.  Because we were on the last day before DST ends it was still quite dark as we got checked in.

I was surprised this year they didn’t require your race number be scribed across your forehead, it was only put on my right arm.  A few minutes later I went back and asked a volunteer to write it on my forehead as well, I felt naked without it.

As I expected, we did not actually start at 7:45, it was closer to 8:05 when we took off.  Cindy, due to adrenalin and a desire to get out of the colored smoke bomb they set off at the start, took off like a rabbit.  I did not, immediately taking on my preferred Tough Mudder run pace, slow and steady.

The first thing I noticed was the open field running was not as treacherous as last year where I destroyed my right knee.  You still wanted to watch your foot placement but it wasn’t nearly as rutty and uneven.  The next thing I noticed was the course was not laid out as the online map indicated.  I wasn’t sure if this was on purpose, to throw a wrench in the Mudders psyche or just a screw up.

I won’t go obstacle by obstacle as some were pretty routine after three years of Mudder races.  You know, stuff like climbing dirt hills separated by mini-moats is old hat by now.  Yes they are still annoying and tiring, running with wet, mud covered sneakers just is not much fun.

One of the first really annoying obstacles was called Sack Up.  You picked up a pretty heavy bag of sand and had to carry it around the circumference of a large lake.  Part of the walk was through mid-thigh high disgusting smelling water with uneven footing down below.  Every Mudder has some sort of carry obstacle but this by far was the longest I ever had to do.  There were no “girl” bags of sand, Cindy carried the same bags us macho men did and carried it well.

Cindy again surprised me (and others) with her carrying skills at the wounded warrior carry.  In this obstacle you pick up someone and carry them maybe 50 yards (last year this was longer).  Of course having Cindy hop on my back and walk was not a tough task for me however I really didn’t feel it was a great idea for Cindy to try to carry my lanky 180 pounds down the course.  Cindy however had different ideas and wanted me to hop on her back.  I did as she asked, feeling pretty sure it was going to be a fail.

It felt like we were on the verge of tipping backward but Cindy kept moving forward with my long limbs wrapped around her.  She carried me the entire required distance, surprising me and other Mudder competitors that congratulated her.  It was impressive.

I had my first ever obstacle fail this year on a new challenge called Hang Tough.  It was a series of gymnast rings hung over a water pit.  The goal is to swing from ring to ring to the other side.  In normal conditions I would expect I could do this obstacle no problem however we were just coming off a obstacle that covered my gloves in wet sand.  The rings themselves were thick plastic, thicker than the bars you grab on the funky monkey.  The rings were also spaced quite far apart, they seemed to widen towards the end.  As I reached for the fourth ring my hand slipped off because of slickness not fatigue.  Plopping down in the water was not a feeling of failure I enjoyed and I considered going back and trying again.  If I would have I would have pulled off the gloves beforehand.  Cindy also dropped into the water on this one.  I accepted my fail and moved on.

Another new obstacle this year was call The Phoenix.  In last years race fire was noticeably missing from the course.  In the Phoenix you belly crawled through an area of “ashes” and then emerged from the other side where you jumped a sizable wall of flames 2-3 feet high and landed in water on the other side.  Although you only were in the flames for a fraction of a second you could feel the heat enough to get an idea of how a hamburger feels.

They had a wall type obstacle I never did before called Glory Blades.  Imagine a Berlin Wall (but shorter) leaning towards you.  The angle meant using your legs for assist was not happening.  Cindy used the side support frame to get herself started but pulled herself over the rest of the way.  I was able to use my muscle up training to get me over the blades without major problems.

The Jesus Walk that was outlined several spots on the course turned out to be nothing.  When you looked this obstacle up online it showed shallow water with multiple holes dug out which are hidden, causing people repeated wet face plants.  All of our Jesus Walks were basically just walks through shin high water with no holes.

The Electric Eel was a lot more difficult this year.  In this obstacle you belly crawl in shallow water with electrified cords hanging down.  Last year the wires were in straight lines so as long as you stayed straight and low you could avoid electrocution.   This year the wires were staggered all over the place.  I was sure I was going to get tagged.

Some people threw caution to the wind and just plowed straight ahead, taking multiple jolts along the way.  I acted like I was crawling through a minefield and somehow managed to snake my 6′ 3″ body through the maze of wires without getting zapped once.  Cindy was not so lucky, she took a good snap to the calf towards the end which caused an expletive to immediately fly out of her mouth.

As we were running the course Cindy and I noticed that the race organizers seem to not be very good at marking distance, some of the miles seemed to be very short while others seemed slightly long.  The course was very winding so it is possible that my sense of distance was distorted but it couldn’t have been that far off.  At one point Cindy, who was wearing her watch in chrono mode said we only had 7 minutes between two mile markers which obviously could not be the case if the distance was correct.

Another new obstacle was the Cage Crawl which Cindy said was her favorite.  There again was a body of water (you got very wet in this course) with a low chain link fence on top of it.  You flipped on your back and used the fence to pull yourself along.  It was kind of fun.

Another staple obstacle of the Tough Mudder is the Funky Monkey which are greased monkey bars that first angle up and then down.  I have always cleared this obstacle and I did once again this year sticking to the safer one rung at a time technique to ensure a solid grip.  Cindy was worried about this obstacle going in.  I don’t think I ever saw a woman complete it in person.

I went first and Cindy followed.  I heard a woman drop behind me and I assumed it was her.  When I reached the final rung I spun around and assumed I would see Cindy swimming towards the platform.  Nope, she was on the downward part of the bars, holy shit.  I went to the side and encouraged her, she was almost to the end.  Just as I stepped back onto the exit platform, hoping I could pull her in, her grip failed, only a couple rungs from completing it.  I couldn’t believe she got that far.  She was both disappointed and proud at the same time as I hoisted her up.  I told her she had nothing to be disappointed about as I watched multiple men drop in the water far behind where she got to.

This year the dreaded Arctic Enema was much further into the course than previously, not coming up until mile 9.  This was the obstacle that Cindy feared the most due to her fear of water, asthma and extremely low tolerance to cold.  I advised her going into it to just to not think and go, fast.  We got up on top of the tank side by side.  I immediately jumped, far, landing right next to the wall you have to go under.  I stayed under and pulled myself under the wall and quickly got out of the frigid water that was somewhere around 35 degrees.  I looked back assuming Cindy would be either out or almost out as well.

Instead she was still on the far side, shivering and panicked.  The icy water hit her really hard.  She was apologizing to me, saying she was sorry.  She then pushed herself up on the side of the tank, leaving her lower body frozen.  I told her it was ok if she got out and the volunteer was ready to hoist her out.  I was pretty sure she was going to just hop out, she was obviously not in good shape.  However she changed her mind and said she didn’t want to quit.

The TM guy said she could just drop under the water and he would pull her under the wall.  Cindy dropped off the wall and he did just that.  Myself and others were at the far end of the tank to help pull her out since her lower body at this point had been in the water for over a minute.  She was crying when we got her back onto dry land.  Her breathing was all whacked out from the cold but she was just scared from it all.  She expected the ice bath to be hard but not make her almost black out. After a short while she had calmed down enough for her to continue.  We walked a little bit and then resumed our slow but steady run.

Even though I was obviously tired from the long course and obstacles I felt pretty intact other than some bruises, cuts and scrapes.  We were in the home stretch with only two obstacles to go, the Everest 1/4 pipe and Electroshock Therapy.  For the second year in a row I cleared Everest easily, getting up and over with no outside assistance.  I’m quite sure why I had so many problems the first year I did it.  Either it was significantly more slippery or I didn’t run into it hard enough.

After I got up I knelt down to give Cindy a hand.  It just so worked out that Cindy and I were the only ones on the obstacle at the time.  The loud crowd of spectators gave Cindy loud cheers of encouragement which was very cool.  She ran hard at the pipe and got her hand up to the top where I grabbed it just to make sure she didn’t slide back down.  She pulled herself up triumphantly.

So to get down the other side of Everest you have to scale down a “ladder” of 2×4’s, spaced about a foot apart.  Somehow as I was coming down my left foot slipped.  Instinctively I shifted my weight to my right side.  I awkwardly pinned my leg under me, and in doing so fully compressed my right knee, something that it normally will not do because of the scar tissue from years of abuse.  As it compressed I heard a sickening SNAP that along with shooting pain made me think I really f’d something up.

I was pissed off that I hurt myself not only so close to the end but on something as dumb as coming off of an obstacle.  When I got to the bottom at first I could hardly put weight on the leg.  I just limped along for a period of time.  As I walked on it it felt slightly better, good enough that I resumed a slow jog up to the mouth of the shock obstacle.

Once again they made this final obstacle annoying, putting two large mounds in the chute which both slow you down and trip you up.  I went first and didn’t even think about my knee as I tried to get through as quickly as possible.  I actually stumbled and fell at the first mound and then got up and hauled ass over the second one.  I only felt a couple tingles, nothing nearly as severe as the body immobilizing jolts I got last year.

I looked back and Cindy was mid obstacle, looking like she fell as well.  Once again she had the crowd behind her, she got up and hauled ass through the rest of it and ran quickly to the finish line,  passing me easily as I was trying to run without hurting my knee further.  We both snagged our t-shirt, headband and one free beer. We finished the course in right around two and a half hours, a very good time.  We ran the entire time between obstacles.

Before we even had the beers down Cindy was doing the Under Armour challenge station.  You flipped a big tire 6 times, did 15 box jumps and 3 pull ups (for girls) as fast as you can.  She did well, especially considering she just finished the race.  I would have tried it as well but my tweaked knee made me reconsider that option.

We walked around the main area.  Our “lunch” was splitting a funnel cake and downing a bowl of free Wheaties in chocolate milk that they were giving away.  Of course we walked through the overpriced Tough Mudder gear tent but bought nothing but a small sticker for the back of Cindy’s Miata.

I was disappointed to see the Air Force pull up bar was a no show this year meaning my post-Mudder tradition of doing 20 pull ups met an unexpected end. Oh well.

We didn’t stick around all that long after “showering” with a garden hose.  The skies were looking pretty foreboding as rain was in the forecast.  During the drive home that rain arrived.  I was glad we cleared out when we did.   Being in an early wave is so much better for so many reasons, better parking, course is in better shape, less wait at obstacles.  If you are doing a Mudder, do it early.

The drive home went quickly thank goodness, I was beat, even with downing a DD coffee along the way.  We originally had ideas  of going out to see Enders Game Saturday night.  We wisely reconsidered and instead just crashed at the house and watched No Country for Old Men instead. I was beat. My knee, although painful, did not blow up like the year before which is a good thing.  I laid around with an ice pack strapped to the knee to try to minimize any long term effects from whatever I did.

Saturday night I was awakened by the phone around 4AM.  The first time through I didn’t answer it but when it started again I drug myself out of bed, seeing it was PA number.  It was my grandmothers nursing home.  The woman said they were trying to reach my mom but her phone was busy.  I told them that mom takes her phone off the hook at night.  They said they were only authorized to tell my mom details about my grandmother but the nurse told me there has been a change in grandma’s health.

I talked to mom later.  She said that my grandmothers blood sugar levels are sky high and insulin is doing nothing to bring them down.  More than likely she is on the last part of a tragic last decade where Alzeheimers/senility has robbed her of any memories of her past.  I sincerely wish her suffering would have ended a long time ago.  The only people that feel differently are the nursing home bookkeepers.  Old age can  be such a horrible, horrible prison.  I have no desire to become incarcerated within my own withered mind.  I hope grandma’s suffering ends, soon.

Sunday morning I had to catch up on all of the chores which with Cindy’s help went pretty well.  The weather was BEAUTIFUL with dry. mild air pushed around with decent wind.  All the windows in the house were open most of the day.

We decided to do something different and catch Enders Game as a matinee since the Eagles didn’t play until 4PM.  We saw it at Silverspot which is always a treat with it’s luxurious accommodations.  I thought the movie was decent for most of it but sort of fell apart at the end.  I think the last time I can recall thinking Harrison Ford had a strong acting performance was Airforce 1.  Everything since then has just been sort of shitty…

I could see how Enders would make a better book than a movie.  The shortcuts required to make a movie meant certain pivot points in the movie had to be rushed along, resulting in an overall dissatisfying experience.  I left the theater feeling somewhat disappointed. Overall I’d give it a B to a low end B+.

That Eagles game was crazy.  How does a team that scored ZERO touchdown the last two games go on the road, to the west coast, and tack on 49 points against once of the top 10 statistical defense in the league???  I have no idea either but I certainly enjoyed it.  All of a sudden Nick Foles, whom looked totally lost against the Cowboys two games ago now looked like Peyton Manning, picking apart the Raiders for an NFL record tying 7 touchdown passes.  It was just insane and like I was in an alternate universe compared to the drudgery I just witnessed the two prior games.

Foles performance surely has firmly planted him in the starter position for the foreseeable future.  Vick will have a lot of time to rest that tweaked hammy.

Do I think this game signified some sort of remarkable turnaround for the team where they are going to soar to a playoff run?  I highly doubt it but I would LOVE to be flat out wrong.