Archives 2012

Last Friday we made arrangements to drop the Camry off at the dealer for a 100,000 mile look over.  It is amazing to me the Camry already has 100k on the odometer considering it was purchased in November of 2006.  The car has served us quite well.

Anyway, ever since about the 65k mile mark I have been doing the oil changes and other routine maintenance on the car to save a few bucks.  However since Ali is going to be on her own we both thought it good to have the car officially serviced at this milestone mileage mark.  Looking at the factory maintenance schedule I saw the car was due for an oil change, coolant flush and a solid overall inspection.  I also told them to swap the spark plugs awhile even though they are not actually due to be replaced until 120,000 miles.

We actually dropped the car off the night before so they would have access to it first thing.  We however made a dumb mistake, telling the service advisor that we didn’t really need the car back until the next afternoon, automatically shifting the Camry down on their priority list.  He told us the car should be done by 3pm.

So as 3pm the next day approached I asked Ali if she heard anything yet, she had not.   Then about 20 minutes after 3, neither of us had heard a peep yet, but Ali was on her way to the dealer to pick up the car. I decided to call just to confirm the car was done, assuming it would be since it was there all day and the work that was being done was minor.

Well I talk to Mark, the guy that promised the car would be done by 3pm.  He tells me they just pulled the car in a little while ago.  I reminded Mark that they said the car would be done by 3.  He acknowledged that and apologized for them getting backed up.  Of course I knew that we gave this loophole by not telling them to do the work asap.  I told Mark that my wife was about 20 minutes away from picking up the car.  He told me that she might have to wait “a little bit”. I asked what a little bit was.  Mark said no more than 15 minutes.  I asked Mark if he could make sure to expedite things as much as possible.

So I called Ali back and told her the car wasn’t done and also told her about the “little bit” wait that was indicated.  Ali was familiar with what a little bit means in dealer talk, it means a long ass wait. I told her she should just go to the grocery store and go home, I would go to the dealer after work to pay for it and we could pick up the car later.

So on the way there about 5:15, I get a call from Mark, telling me the car was done.  WTF, if Ali was actually waiting there she would have been twiddling her thumbs for 90 minutes.   Mark informed he did not do the coolant flush as requested because they found the water pump is starting to leak.  Part of the pump replacement procedure is to drain the coolant so he said it was pointless to do it now.

I was not thrilled to hear about the leaky pump but I was annoyed because if they worked on the car in a timely fashion they would have been able to do this right away, now it was too late in the day, meaning a return trip would be necessary.  Hearing the estimate of $430 to replace the pump did nothing to brighten my spirits either.  I guess the good news was at this point the leak is very minor and not in need of immediate attention.

I was surprised when I went online and searched “Camry Hybrid water pump” and hit upon a ton of people that have had their water pumps start leaking as well, some in as little as 40,000 miles.

So over the weekend I took a look at where the water pump is located in the Camry and initially wrote off the idea of replacing it myself due to what appeared to be very tight quarters.  Well last night the idea of spending that much money, especially considering our short term money outlook, did not sit well with me.

I hopped on Autozone.com and checked out what a water pump (non-oem) would cost me, wow, only $50.  Add in the couple gallons of anti-freeze and some RTV sealant I would need to complete the job I am still under $100, potentially saving myself $350 in dealer labor.   I then found a post on Toyotanation that outlined the steps to replace the pump in a pretty clear manner.

Part of the process is to remove the alternator, the passenger side front wheel and a small cover to get better access to the pump, something I didn’t realize when I eyeballed the job.  At this point I haven’t decided if I want to tackle the job myself or not.  The most invasive procedure I have done on the Camry so far is replacing the front and rear brake pads.  I am pretty sure I could pull this one off though.

So with the SSR potential flywheel problem the most agreed upon advice is to have the stock set up ripped out and replaced with the clutch and flywheel from a Z07 Corvette.  The factory clutch set up in the SSR will be nothing but problematic, one owner has had the factory set up replaced 5 times so far.

There just happens to be a fellow SSRFanatic that specializes in this swap, he has done 15-20 already and has had great success with it.  His shop is located in Plant City, about 3 hours away, close to where the Tough Mudder was held.

I called and talked to the guy yesterday, he was real nice and extremely knowledgeable about all things SSR.  His personal SSR is tricked out beyond belief.

With him being that far away the question becomes how would I get my truck there?  I asked him his opinion on the chances of me making the trip successfully based on the noises the truck is making now.  I told him that the truck still appears to drive/shift normally at this point, I only notice the noise when I am stopped with the clutch in or the SSR in neutral.  Lonnie said it’s hard to say but there is a good shot I will be fine.  If not he said as long as I have AAA (I do) I could always get towed the rest of the way in.

I thanked Lonnie for the info and told him I would be contacting him to set something definitive up.  He said the swap takes about a full day, 8 hours of work.

So my mind is made up that is the best long term solution to the problem, the issues are two fold, money and getting the vehicle there/what to do once it is.

As far as the money goes, I am going to wait and see where my money levels are once Ali is safely moved into her new place.  Once that happens I can make a more sound decision on the money.

As far as getting up there, I initially asked Ali about possibly following me up to Plant City on some weekday.  I’d just burn a personal day.  Ali said she was fine to do it.  I am not sure if I will take her up on that offer or not.

I feel kind of bad asking her to drive all the way up there.  If I did it solo I could just drop off the truck with Lonnie and watch the process take place, possibly picking up a tip or two along the way.  I could also rent a cheap motel room and stay a night if need be.  It could be a fun little adventure.

So we will see what shakes out in a couple weeks.

My neighbor has put me in a precarious situation.  As I mentioned last week, he was having his house painted by Rhinoshield, the same company that did our place that we were/are very happy with.

Well in addition to painting his house, he also contracted with them to paint his entire concrete driveway, the concrete border that surrounds the house, the pool deck AND the aluminum pool cage frame.  It is a TON of work and he is paying a ton for it, double what we laid out almost.

Well the job was supposed to be wrapped up on Saturday.  It wasn’t close to done.  My neighbor had been squabbling with the company over what they exactly agreed to do.  They wanted to do one coat where the neighbor agreed to two coats, the paint used on the pool cage was in question and several other small items.

Well my neighbor had to fly back to Michigan on Sunday and the job was still not complete.  He was holding final payment for the job, you paid a portion up front and then the balance upon completion.

Well he called and asked me for a favor.  He wanted me to hold the checks for him and only present them to the contractors after I CONFIRM that all the work was done and done adequately.  I told him I wasn’t real comfortable with that responsibility since it his money and I didn’t like the idea of saying the work looked ok and then having my neighbor come back down and see things he wasn’t happy with.

He said he trusted my judgement so I reluctantly agreed to be the check holder, quality control inspector.  Originally the job was supposed to be completed Monday but when I checked last night they still had not done anything with painting the pool cage.

To be honest, painting that cage looks to be a job that would be incredibly tedious.  They are supposed to paint the entire cage, both the inside and outside of the frame.  Doing so requires them to tape and mask off each and every screen panel before spraying.  A decent wind will rip the taped paper right off.

Then there is the issue of how exactly they plan to paint the high areas of the cage that are over the pool directly?  Short of bringing in a temporary scaffolding I don’t see how it can be done. It just looks like an awful, awful job.  I am sure the painters hate the sales guy that said this could be part of the job.

I am not really looking forward to playing mediator in the soap opera.

Last night after giving the dogs much needed baths and eating dinner Ali embarked on her first serious session of packing.  I had a few things to take care of on my pc but afterward I figured I should be helping her pack, there is a lot to do.

Her and I tried to be somewhat systematic in the packing process although it is a bit tough to do, especially at first.  It becomes overwhelming when you start to grasp just how much stuff needs to be packed up only to be unboxed again 15 miles away.

For the first time in several days I felt emotional several times during the process.  Undoing things that we have set up together over the years hurts. There was no way I could get my mind to ignore the pain I felt as I took Ali’s medals off the wall or boxed up other personal items that have been part of our shared environment for as long as I can remember.

The dogs were also confused by the process.  Sadie would sit right in front of me, just staring.  Nicki was under Ali’s desk, looking sad.  It almost seemed like she knew something bad was coming.

I did my best to bring my mind back to center and not dwell on the symbolism of the packing process.

We got the office and the dining room stuff she will be taking boxed up for the most part.  We will be going room to room, doing our best to be as ready for Saturday as possible.

I already took next Monday off from work to have extra time to help Ali get settled as well as do the various rearranging that will happen at the house once her items are removed.  It’s going to be hard to keep dry eyes this weekend.

I talked to Todd last night, he called about a new Iphone problem.  I found it odd that he did not mention my separation with Ali even though I did not tell him first hand.  I only told my parents directly, figuring the word would filter down from there.  Well although my dad, mom and sister know, none of them relayed the info to Todd during any of their recent interactions.

He was surprised to hear of the upcoming split but had no real advice to offer based on the 4-5 year plus quagmire of divorce proceedings he is mired in.

Of course the latest surge in gas prices is hammering everyone hard.  I got a front row seat to just how hard that hit can be.  In the span of two days I spent over $250 filling three of the vehicles.  Wow.

In our upcoming separation Ali will definitely be in a much better spot when it comes to transportation. The Camry Hybrid is paid off, gets more than twice the gas mileage of the other vehicles and she is cutting almost 30 miles off any round trip that she will be making with her new address.

The Tacoma is the gas mileage leader in my pack rated at 17 in the city and 21 on the highway, yay.

In contrast I will be maintaining a 13 and 16 year old vehicle as well as the SSR which just developed a potentially expensive problem which I will detail next.  When I add in the insurance and vehicle registration costs of the three vehicles I have a huge vehicle related nut to manage.

Of course the timing of the SSR purchase, as much as I love the truck is not ideal at all based on what is coming down the pipe for me.  Just making the payments for the truck will be enough of a burden.  Well Friday a new potential burden arrived.

I took the truck to work as I do on most Fridays.  As I am now accustomed to, driving top down on the truck still makes me feel better about life as a whole, my personal four wheeled, topless therapist, even with the sharp turns that are now in my face.  The truck seemed to drive just fine while I was out on the road.

Well when I backed into the garage I heard a rattling noise.  At first it sounded like it was coming from the passenger side of the engine compartment.  I actually shot two different videos so the experts on SSRFanatics could give me some opinions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKGp150QYi0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxUrdM_sXa8

As you can hear, it does not sound good.  Immediately all sorts of bad scenarios ran through my head.  The last thing I need right now is another major vehicle repair bill.

When I crawled under the SSR it seemed like the noise was coming right from the junction of the engine and transmission.  The advice I received indicated there was a good possibility it was coming from the flywheel.

Evidently the SSR 6 speeds are factory equipped with an under-performing clutch set up which includes something called a dual mass flywheel.  This flywheel is designed with the intention of delivering smoother starts.  Unfortunately this design is not particularly good at dealing with the 400 HP the SSR LS2 motor put out.  The forums are filled with 6 speed owners that have gone through flywheels and clutches like mad.  It is just a bad design.

Unfortunately there is no way to know for sure until that area is ripped open which is a chore in itself.  If the problem is indeed the flywheel I could pay a shitload of money to have another OEM, poor performing flywheel installed and then wait for the issue to happen again.

However the option recommended to me by other Fanatics was to have a guy in Plant City do a swap of the clutch system with one designed for a Vette, a slightly more expensive solution but a much better long term solution.

Well neither solution fits into my financial jigsaw puzzle at this moment so as a result the SSR will be just resting in the garage until that situation changes.  So much for top down stress relief sessions.

On Saturday Ali was leaving in the afternoon to head to the east coast for her triathlon.  I spent the majority of the time leading up to it doing stuff around the house.  I did pretty much the full boat of chores, including cleaning.  I figure I might as well get used to it.

Once I dropped Ali off for her trip I headed home.  I spent a good portion of Saturday night researching the SSR problem and filled in the rest watching the rest of Walking Dead Season 2.  The show is very good but I suggest you don’t get too emotionally attached to any of the characters, there seems to be very few untouchables, anyone seems to be fair game at all times to be next up for Zombieville.

I got up early on Sunday to make the trek across the state with the dogs to watch Ali’s tri.  Originally we talked about me getting there before the race but that would have just been a mess between leaving incredibly early and trying to find Ali in the mass of pre-race humanity.  Instead I pulled out of the house at a more manageable 6:30 am, figuring Ali won’t be done until 10 am at the earliest since she was starting around 7.

The drive over to South Beach was tough early on as I drove through patches of extremely dense fog.  At points my visibility was dangerously short.  Nicki was driving me nuts, she was constantly up and down on the passenger seat that was already occupied by Sadie.  She was excited to be going somewhere but didn’t quite know why I guess.

As I approached the South Beach area I went over two bridges that already had people out on the bike course.  They had the normal exit I would use closed off, luckily I had the GPS along to help me navigate.

As I entered South Beach traffic was a mess because of the closed streets.  I had intentions of going to the public garage at 7th & Collins.  It took me a long time to get to the garage, carefully navigating the party van through the narrow streets with people buzzing all around.  When I did  finally arrive I was not happy.

I see the 6’8″ clearance sign hanging over the entrance.  I do not know the exact height of the van but I know 6’8″ is pretty damn close.  I rolled down the woman and asked her if she thought the van would fit, she said no.  Great.  I then asked where else there was a public garage.  She said up on 13th street so I headed up there.

Well I saw the same 6’8″ clearance sign on the other garage as well however I also spotted a small public parking lot on the other side of the street.  That will have to do.

By this time I had to take a leak like mad, something I knew I would be unable to do once I had two dogs attached to me via leash.  I locked the van and quickly looked for a place to relive myself.  I found a Starbucks around the corner that had bathrooms “for customers only”.  I grabbed a small coffee after relieving myself.  However as I was walking quickly back to the van I dumped the coffee after one sip, again realizing it would be impossible to drink once the dogs were in the picture.

I leashed up the excited girls, threw my backpack on which contained water and a dog bowl and headed towards the beach.  From a dog’s viewpoint South Beach was a wonderland of smells, they were both wanting to stop and sniff something every few feet.  I tried to humor them at first, later it became maddening.

On top of that, the sidewalks in much of South Beach are narrow and crowded.  I was wrangling the dogs non-stop to try to squeeze past other people without them jamming a wet nose into legs.

Finally I made my way down into Lummus Park, a spot I was familiar with since I played in several volleyball tournaments there over the years.  As we walked into the park we saw a bunch of runners, the elite people were running back towards the park, the not-so-elites were just heading out.  It was a little after 9 am at this point so I thought that if Ali was close to her goal of a 3 hour race that I might see her running out.  The one variable was when her wave started which I had no idea of.

I found a bench along the path that had some shade from neighboring palm trees, giving the girls a good spot to chill out.  I sat there for awhile watching the runners go by.  I was surprised by the half a dozen or so people that noticed my Tough Mudder shirt and commented as they ran by, fellow Mudders obviously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg62Kbk7RbM

I eventually spotted Ali running towards us and fired up the Flip just in time to shoot some video of her heading out onto the course.  Once she was out of sight I knew we had around an hour to kill so I just sort of meandered about.

As expected, South Beach was once again a spectacular place to just people watch.  I saw all sorts of interesting individuals.  There was the small group gathered around a black guy singing Christian Rock with a guitar and portable amp.  His audience included a chubby guy with a beard that was sleeping along with his full size poodle and her two small puppies.

Then there was the MMA looking fighter dude that was running on the pavement bare footed as he was shooting alternating jabs every few steps. In one store front there was a chubby guy wearing a much too small red, white and blue speedo with matching patriotic top hat and nothing else.

Skateboards are very popular in South Beach.  I saw a bunch of people doing a land based version of paddle boarding.  They were on long boards with a big stick that had a rubberized end.  They did all of the pushing off solely with the stick.  I also saw many people riding skateboards in a conventional manner, the funnies tof which was the guy that appeared to be delivering a pizza on one.

There were literally dozens of blog worthy sightings, I almost wish I had a notepad with to jot down some reminders.

So eventually I spotted Ali running back in.  The finish line was actually up and over the dune on the main beach area, somewhere dogs aren’t supposed to go.  Plus it would have been too hot out in the blazing sun so I thought it best to just stay in the park.  As Ali ran by I told her we would stay put so she could come find us.

It took awhile but eventually Ali returned to where we were, the dogs were of course thrilled to see her.  Ali briefly filled me in on her race saying she got a flat on the bike and then developed stomach cramps during her run.  It was a shame since she really had been training hard to throw a good number up for this race.

Ali said the hotel she was staying at was close by, we could go back there with the dogs so she could shower.  We went in a back entrance to smuggle the dogs in.  The Hilton actually is pet friendly, unfortunately only to pets that weigh less than 20 pounds.  We figured having our 50-60 pound monsters in there for an hour or so would not be a big deal.

Ali’s accommodations were certainly plush with marble floors and granite counter tops and even a bidet.  Unfortunately she said she had issues with a very loud altercation right outside her door at 3:45 am during the night.

The dogs certainly enjoyed cooling off on the marble floor.  I just hung out in the room and enjoyed the view of South Beach from the balcony.

Ali had made plans to join the woman she drove over with and another guy in his training group for lunch.  To be honest I would have been fine just heading out.  I was kind of burned out from managing the dogs. I didn’t want to dampen Ali’s plans though so we wheeled her bike, two of her bags, my backpack and the two dogs to a place called The Pink a few blocks away.

We of course had to sit outdoors with the dogs in tow but we also had all of this stuff.  I told Ali I would load up all the stuff and walk all the way up to 13th street where I was parked (restaurant was on 2nd).  Ali asked if I was sure I wanted to do that as in total I would be carrying three bags as well as maneuvering the bike.  I assured her I would be fine and just told her to order something for me and I would be back.

Well in the first block and a half I stopped 4 or 5 times to try new configurations to carry everything.  What I finally wound up doing was throwing my back pack on my back in a conventional manner.  I then took Ali’s backpack and threw it over my head and under my one armpit, sort of the way some women wear a purse.  I then held the remaining bag in my one hand and used the other hand to guide the bike.

It was not a comfortable configuration as the strap from Ali’s pack was pressing against the veins in my neck.  Adding to the discomfort was the hot sun and sidewalk that got more and more narrow the closer I got to 13th street.  There were many spots where there was barely enough room for one person to pass.  Trying to do so with a bike and three bags in tow basically sucked.

I was getting increasingly angry and frustrated as I trudged along, wishing death upon clueless pedestrians that would not yield their right of way.  I tried to maintain sanity by viewing the journey to the van like a Tough Mudder challenge. It helped a tiny bit.

Finally I arrived at the van and put all of the items inside.  By this time the lot which only had a few vehicles in it when I parked was now jammed with mongers circling about.  I was asked “are you leaving” 5 or 6 times during the few minutes I was there.

So now I started walking back at a much quicker pace since I was now freed of my baggage, the only thing I brought back with me was a water bottle and dog bowl for the girls.  Ali called me when I was at 5th street, saying the food had arrived.  I told her I should be back in a few minutes.

I arrived to a huge veggie burger and a bucket of fries.  It was quite good but I resorted to eating it with a fork and left half of the huge bun along with a bunch of fries.  It was kind of weird sitting there eating lunch with the other members of Ali’s group acting like we are just another couple.  I believe they all know what the deal is so I can imagine it was a bit weird for them as well.

After lunch I asked Ali if we could walk back via the park.  I wanted to stop at the bars they have on the beach to do some muscle ups.  The bars at South Beach are actually the first place I ever saw somebody do a muscle up in person years ago.  I remember thinking how crazy the move was, not able to comprehend how you could do a pull up so hard that you wind up on top of the bar.  I didn’t know when I would be getting back to South Beach again so  I didn’t want to squander the opportunity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvC4XRMGmmk

I did a couple reps on three different spots, the one set of bars had tons of sway in them and didn’t feel good for muscle ups at all.  None of my reps were very clean at all looking back at the video.  The best thing was probably my upper body only pole climb.  Oh well, it was still fun to mark “Muscle ups at South Beach” on the DONE list.

The drive home from South Beach wasn’t too horrible although navigating the van through the heavy traffic is always challenging.  Eventually, after scoring a large DD coffee we were out on the highway heading west.

Ali and the dogs dozed off for a good portion of the journey, all three of them were tired for different reasons. We didn’t wind up getting home until almost 5pm, much later than I anticipated originally.

I spent the majority of the rest of the night working on paying the bills, a process I am getting reacquainted with after letting Ali exclusively handle it for at least 6 or 7 years if not longer.  Doing so has been a real eye opener as I looked in depth at some of our spending, identifying tons of things that we were dropping a bunch of money on.

The grocery receipt was a huge example.  I realized that we were spending almost $60 a month on BIRD SEED.  One box of cereal, $5, my multi-vitamin was an incredible $15.  In two weeks alone over $350 was spent at the grocery store, it is insanity.

Now Ali has never been the type to scrutinize expenditures much, her attitude has normally been we can afford it so we can pay it.  I have always been the one that policed spending.  Admittedly, when it comes to normal spending like this I haven’t done much if any policing just because I let Ali bear full responsibility for the finances.  I was being lazy about it.

Well laziness can no longer be afforded in this area.  After spending a long time plowing through the numbers I emerged from the process thoroughly depressed.  I know we both will eventually navigate our way though this new financial maze but I have a whole bunch of anxiety about how I am going to create that path.  The numbers right now do not look promising in the least from my side.

So we are coming up to one week to go before we move Ali to her new place.  We have been trying to work through the various details for how things will work in the short term.  I am confident that we will be able to handle any issues that come up, that is what we do.

One of those details is how I am going to configure Ali’s computer to function as a remote participant in my local home network.  I am going to mess around with using Microsoft’s remote access features to try to tie everything together.  It is a feature I haven’t had much experience with so it will serve double duty as a learning opportunity.

My new financial reality makes me look at everyday expenses in a whole new light, for instance when I filled up the SSR today.  Not only does the Corvette motor in the truck require expensive, high octane gas, it also has a HUGE gas tank, I am guessing it is close to 25 gallons.  Dropping 82 bucks to fill it used to be an event that would not cause a second of pause.  That is not the case any longer.

This money awareness has already affected other behaviors.  Around the house I am much more conscious of leaving lights on, computers unattended but turned on and any other activity that could be unnecessarily sucking money out of my pocket.

The trip across the alley in the party van to watch Ali’s race now has a price tag associated with it as I imagine the gas costs to push the 16 year old party van back and forth across the state.  It is just the way things are going to have to be, unconscious spending is no longer a luxury either of us can afford.

Besides Ali’s race on Sunday and the regular house chores, I am sure this weekend will be the official start to packing.  Ali has at least 50 boxes in the dining room waiting to be filled.

I have still found myself to be in cylon mode recently, not feeling any of the waves of emotion that hit me the first couple days after we decided to separate.  I told Ali that maybe it is because I am focused on the logisitics of what has to happen to make it all go down.  Maybe it is just a self defense mechanism.

Our neighbors are in the process of getting their house Rhinoshielded.  Evidently Sadie found it impossible to contain her excitement about all of the people next door and tore a hole in yet another section of screen.  In addition to this I saw the panel in the door was once again loose from the result of her head butting it.

Last night I decided to get the repair out of the way.  The panel was a bit of a pain in the ass to fix because of the rose bush in front of part it and the hold down wire that crosses in front of it.  It wasn’t one of my cleanest looking repairs but it is “good nuf”.

The old screen is just brittle at this point.  I am hoping the Super Screen I have been replacing it with holds up better.

Ali has been bringing home a ton of boxes in preparation for her move.  Our dining room is now stuffed with boxes waiting to be filled.

The boxes are the first real visual sign of the impending major change that is rapidly approaching.

In preparation of our sofa and leather chair following Ali to her new place I have started looking at used furniture on Craigslist to replace it.  I’d like to get a a big sectional to fill the space.  The biggest issue will be transporting it.  No sectional will fit in my Tacoma without multiple trips.

A lot of people are not only surprised by the fact that Ali and I are separating, they are surprised even more by how we have been keeping things pretty much status quo since making the decision.  Our routine, thus far, has not changed much.  We still are sharing the same bed and carrying on almost like nothing is changing.  Yea I guess it is sort of odd but it feels fine to me(us).

This weekend I am still planning to pile the dogs in the van in the early AM and drive across the state to support Ali in the Nautica triathlon.  Again, this could be viewed as weird by some.

I never claimed to be normal.

Yesterday I turned my cost cutting focus to Comcast since I recently came off a promotion for my cable internet service.  The price had ballooned to $45, way too much for my now much more frugal tastes.

I was able to get my price reduced without speaking a single word, handling the entire transaction via Comcast online chat.  I took a downgrade to 12 mbit service, which is still plenty for me.  I secured a rate of $29.95 for the next 12 months which I could live with.

Ali has been getting a taste of hassle as well as she is trying to lay the groundwork for her move.  For the first time in her life she is going to be dealing with some stuff that was normally exclusively handled by me.  I have been trying to help her make some of those choices but of course the ultimate decision will be hers alone.

I have been sort of numb to my upcoming new reality the last couple days.  Even though a major change in my life is rapidly approaching it almost seems surreal. At this point I wish I could fast forward through all of the emotions that are sure to leak out and plop myself safely on the other side of the split.

I got a shiny A on my dentist report card.  They were very impressed with the improvement of my gums due to a focus on flossing I made over the past 6 months.

The announcement of Ali and my separation seems to add to the steady stream of other long time couples splitting up recently in our circle.  Over the past year there have been a number of people that either split up or in the process of doing so.  It’s not a bandwagon that I am all that happy about jumping on but oh well.

So my blog entry yesterday was like my cyber press conference announcing our upcoming parting of ways.  As expected a number of people were taken by surprise by the announcement but universally nothing but kind words and support for both of us have been put forth which we both appreciate.

So both of us have started on the mountain of details that will need to be handled in order to facilitate our separation.  Yesterday I worked on changing a number of accounts that were set up to use the American Express credit card that going forward will be solely used by Ali.  I changed them all to bill to my Amazon rewards card instead.  I was surprised by just how many accounts there were, I bet in total I had to change almost a dozen.

Then I turned my attention to the necessary process of reducing monthly expenditures as money will now become something I have to pay much closer to attention to than I have for the last decade.

The first thing I did was kill a universal life policy that I have had active since my 20’s.  It was only for 100k and it’s premiums were rising quarterly.  I have life insurance through work and a much larger policy Ali and I set up a couple years back so there was no reason to keep this one active.

Cancelling it was sort of a lackluster experience.  The phone rep on the other end could have cared less I was cancelling a policy I had in place for around 20 years.  She basically said she didn’t have to cancel the policy, I just had to stop paying for it and it would die.

I remember when I was pitched the policy in the 90’s it was presented as not only a life insurance policy but an investment vehicle that could potentially generate some serious dollars.  Lol, what a joke, the cash value on the policy is basically nothing.

Next up I called Truly Nolen, the company that we have utilized for pest control at our house since it was built.  They have been annoying me for awhile, raising their rates several times over recent years.  I got a woman on the phone named Wendi.

I told Wendi that I just received the latest notification of a rate hike and I was thinking about cancelling the contract altogether as it is just too expensive.  Wendi said she could exempt me from the rate hike if I liked, ONLY charging me $127 for the 15-20 minutes the guy spends at our house once every 3 months.

I told her I still felt that number was excessive.  Wendi became obviously annoyed that I didn’t lavish her with praise for offering to not raise my rate further.  She then asked me what I would consider a reasonable rate.  I told her something less than $100.

I could hear Wendi rolling her eyes through the phone as she told me in a perturbed tone there was no way they could do that.  Hmm so I guess ZERO dollars is better than a 100 bucks.  Without any further attempts at remediation she said she would cancel my account.  When I asked her if there was some sort of confirmation number of the cancellation she said “Use my name and today’s date, GOOD BYE”  Haha you are welcome for 10 years of business Truly Nolen, I’ll be sure to look elsewhere if I look to reestablish pest control in the future, you pricks.

My final cost cutting of the day was a call to ADT whom we pay for monitoring our security system.  The security system was something that we did entirely to help Ali’s feeling security living out in the boonies.  Once we got the dogs, especially the addition of Sadie it was hardly necessary as the dogs sound like dual Cujo’s whenever someone approaches the house.

Anyway, I called up ADT and told them I was interested in cancelling.  Unlike Truly Nolen, they seemed more interested in keeping my business, offering several reduced rates before finally accepting my repeated desire to just cancel, although I did thank the rep for their efforts.

So thus ended the first round of cost cutting measures, I am sure there will be additional austerity measures on the way.

I am conflicted though, there are a couple items for the SSR that I really should take care of, the panhard bar and an upgraded radiator fan.  The bent panhard bar that resides under the truck now could literally allow the rear tires to hit the wheel well if I cornered hard.

The stock fan on an SSR is dramatically underpowered.  When I sit in traffic the engine temp routinely will climb to 235 degrees.  With the brutally hot Florida summer on it’s way I really should replace the fan with the upgraded unit.  This fan swap is something most owners on SSRFANATICS have already done.

I will have to decide if I want to bite the bullet and spend the money now.  It should be the only two items on the upgrade list that are mechanically important as opposed to other vanity/performance upgrades.

Over the weekend I had one of those parasitic home related expenses that seem to pop up so routinely.  The weed whacker died.  There was something wrong with the clutch, as I was running it the area around my hand was getting very hot and it coordinated with a  dramatic loos of power at the trimming head.  The engine was cranking but it felt like the head was “slipping”.

It was a cheap weed whacker to start with so there was no point in spending money to fix it.  I put the old weed whacker and the even older whacker with a gummed up carburetor I was holding on to for some dumb reason, out front where they were picked up by somebody in less than a half hour.  It’s always nice to have a built in neighborhood trash removal.  Almost anything I put by the road finds a new home somewhere, regardless of it’s condition.

I picked up a Poulan Pro weed whacker as a replacement.  It seemed to work quite well to finish up the second half of the property.

My new lunch box arrived over the weekend.  Well, new to me, it is actually a used box I grabbed on ebay.  It is an updated version of the 20 year old box it is replacing.  It looks slightly bigger on the outside but it’s interior dimensions are the same which is all that matters.

It feels kind of weird carrying in a box that does not have pieces of plastic falling off.  It seems to work just as well as old faithful.  My original lunch box will find it’s way onto some shelf on the property. I just don’t feel like tossing it out.

Last night I tried to keep some of my normal routines in place, heading outside for a brief work out.  You can see the first video of a GUTS routine along with my attempt at Bar-baric mode of this month’s challenge, dragon flags.

It was the first time I ever got a full ROM dragon flag on video.  This move is really tough for me since I have such a long build.  After the third rep I literally started seeing stars so I stopped there. 🙂

Well it is anticipated if you are in our inner circle and already have a clue about what I am referring to.

I am not a fan of those people that like to post ambiguous things on Facebook as a status update and then leave the reader to guess what the fck they mean. so to avoid that, here you go, Ali and I are going to be separating.

Yes that is not a typo.

To say it has been a tough weekend would be an understatement although to the casual observer they probably wouldn’t even know as both of us are pretty good at putting up a facade.

The separation conversation started after we had one of our “virtual” arguments, started by my blog post on Friday that was met with Facebook action from her later.  Anyone that follows me/her knows that more than once we have aired our squabbles via cyber mediums.

Surely it is not an effective way to resolve such issues yet we have gone down that path more often than I care to admit.

So anyway, I knew when I got home I would be walking in the door to an unhappy camper.  I tried to cut to the chase and asked her quickly if she wanted to clear the air so we could move on with our night.  She came out but quickly the discussion turned on to an expanded subject matter.  I told her for the past several weeks that I have noticed she was being unusually cold and distant towards me.

Ali sort of shrugged her shoulders and said she was tired of things, tired of issues that we have always had but never resolved.  Instead these issues get pushed below the surface for a period of time until they pop up again and again. Ali and I have struggled with this our entire relationship.  It is very mentally draining.

I agreed that I was tired of them as well and asked her what she wanted to do about it.  I was a bit surprised when Ali was the one to first mention separation as the next step, something we have talked about at various times in the past, but we never had the courage to approach it seriously as an outcome.  Although this wasn’t the path I expected my Friday evening to go, I agreed with Ali’s general premise and the conversation continued from there.

Typically when you hear about married people splitting up it normally is accompanied with stories of a hellacious argument that starts the process, things getting thrown, things getting broken. It was nothing like that for us.

Instead we talked out a basic framework of how it would go down in a surprisingly civil and calm matter.  We both agreed that although it is going to be the source of much pain and anguish, in the long run, this would be a move we both looked back upon as the right thing to do.

It was a very bizzaro situation.  After our discussion we ate our pizza and watched Biggest Loser, just like a normal Friday night.

We kept up the business as usual exterior on Saturday morning as we timed a race, not letting on to anyone that the Duffey team was going to be splitting up.

My feelings were all over the map.  I would have repeated moments where I felt like crying if I allowed myself to think about past good experiences Ali and I shared or about the future arrangements which will include the dogs moving with Ali.  That will be the worst part moving forward.  Not having Nicki and Sadie around on a daily basis will literally break my heart.  It’s going to be damn tough on them as well.

Ali didn’t waste any time before looking for somewhere to live.  She found a couple possibilities and asked if I wanted to come with her since I knew more of what to ask, which I do.  It was a bit awkward accompanying your wife to look at a place to live without you but I’ll chalk it up to a life experience.

We looked at several places, all of them had some pluses and minuses but none of them got Ali terribly excited.  Well we got a suggestion from Christy about one more place before we were ready to head back.  Low and behold this was by far the best option we saw all afternoon.  It was dog friendly, new construction, in a great location and just inside the high end of what we figured Ali would be able to swing rent wise.

We went back on Sunday and finalized the paperwork, Ali will be moving there in early April.

The rest of the weekend kind of went the same way, lots of weird emotions that ran the gamut.  Ali actually seemed to be handling her new reality quite well, she was genuinely excited about her new living arrangements.  To be honest in a way I was jealous.  It would be pretty sweet to move to a nice place that is much closer in with no maintenance or long list of to do’s that have to be addressed week in and week out.

Ali and I both agreed her staying at our house would just be a mess.  Financially she couldn’t swing it and her attempting to handle all the upkeep that I do would have quickly became miserable.  Plus I have a lot more big items like the 3 vehicles that would have to stay there.  Her getting her own place was the only option that made sense.

Our attempts at normalcy continued when I accompanied Ali on a training bike ride late Sunday afternoon.  I suspect even once we are living at two different addresses we will continue to be each others training partner on occasion.

Over the weekend both Ali and I made calls to our parents to inform them about the major change as well as telling our close friends.  Of course everybody was surprised but supportive.  This blog entry will be my notice to the rest of the world.

I am trying to maintain an overall positive attitude about the changes that are now on the way.  I expect a lot of tears to be part of the process but I’m hopeful both of us can wind up in a better place where we both find meaningful happiness.

I think we both knew this day would eventually come, it’s just too bad we ate up 15 years getting around to it.

I forgot to mention earlier this week I found a replacement for my rapidly deteriorating lunch box.  It is a blue model that appears to have similar dimensions to mine.  It is used but I could care less.

I have already decided that I won’t be tossing my old box in the recycle bin, at least not yet.

After work I took a shot at normal mode of this month’s Bar-barian challenge which is dips after a 20 second static hold.  My 25 reps was a little less than I hoped for but I absolutely had nothing left at the end, my tri’s were shaking.

Last night I finally got around to making some fresh juice for dinner, something that just hasn’t happened lately for a few different reasons.  Last night the mixture included carrots, beets, celery, tomato, spinach and apple.

The stuff I was watching yesterday about the insidious nature of wheat was pretty eye opening.  Finding out that a piece of whole wheat bread has a higher glycemic index than a spoonful of pure sugar puts an entirely new spin on things.

Plus the fact that wheat has undergone the same process as soy and corn where the plant is modified to be able to survive exposure to highly toxic weed killers is just more gas for the fire.

Our food chain is just full of landmines wherever you look.  Corn has been turned into the backbone of the mess between it’s use to fatten up livestock to it’s utilization as the world’s most insidious sweetener.

Soy, which has been pitched as a great meat replacement by the companies that profit by growing it, is actually not very good at all for you when you do some digging around into what it actually does when ingested.

And now I can add wheat and it’s “wheat belly” effect, causing  blood sugar spikes higher than if you were swallowing teaspoons of sugar.

Now short of growing your own food exclusively, there is no way to escape the evil food empire. The best course of action is to practice moderation as much as possible.  If you are slamming bread, even wheat bread or other grain based products like it is going out of style you definitely are not doing your body any favors.

During the week lately I hardly see Alison at all.  Since she has a triathlon coming up in two weekends she has been adding on to her group training sessions.  In total she has been doing 6-7 group training sessions per week. When she does come home at night she is typically has little energy to do much more than eat and go to bed. It surely doesn’t make for much quality interaction/communication.

Last night was pretty much par for the course, our main interaction was when I noticed Ali’s latest impulse purchase, a new pair of cycling glasses.

I asked her about the purchase, questioning the need to buy ANOTHER pair of glasses when she already owns no less than 5 pairs of sport glasses.  Ali’s logic was much the same as her purchase of a “swimming parka”, these glasses were specialized, and automatically change their tint level as daylight changes. If there is one thing she loves, it is specialization.

This weekend I have a race to time on Saturday.  This is my least favorite race of all to time because it is literally held on a beach.  Sand gets everywhere.  Sand and electronic equipment just do not mix very well.  I really would like for this race to not be chip timed . The hassle/benefit ratio just does not work.

I have a new set of plugs and spark plug wires for the Tacoma.  After 136,000 miles it is way, way overdue. I watched a video on the basic procedure to remove/replace them which appears to be a mild pain in the ass but nothing I can’t muddle through.

I think we will be doing a bike ride on Sunday but I won’t be swimming laps yet.  Although the pain in my ear is gone it still does not feel 100% normal.

I neglected to mention that today is my little brother Patrick’s birthday.  He turned 26 which is hard to believe.  He has such a bright future ahead of him.

Yesterday I received training on how to use an AED (Automatic Emergency Defibrillator).  They recently installed an AED at our office.  After receiving the training I wondered why it was necessary at all.  It makes the process pretty much idiot proof as long as you can read and follow direction.  The machine talks you through what to do.  One thing I did not know was it actually will do a test to verify if the persons heart is actually stopped before it advises you to administer a shock.

So after work I had a running club board meeting to attend.  It has become a tradition that I indulge in my once or twice a month McD’s habit before going to the meeting since I had an hour to kill.  I approached a near by location and pulled into the rather lengthy drive thru line which had 5 or 6 vehicles in it.

As I was sitting there an eternal dialogue began in my head.  I recalled my visit to the fair the night before and how I felt as I walked through the livestock area, specifically the miserable cow with it’s sad eyes.  I was conflicted about indirectly contributing to the demise of such animals by buying and eating hamburgers from McDonald’s of all places, one of the great facilitators of feeding the population garbage food.

The habitual part of me argued that the burger, small fries and Diet Coke would taste good, plus I only have this junk once in awhile, anything bad if it is in small enough quantities or frequency  is typically ok.

Well the logical part of my mind won out.  I pulled out of the line and headed down to the nearby Subway where I had a 6 inch tuna (never saw a sad tuna) on wheat bread with tomato, lettuce and spinach.  I washed it down with water.

I felt good about my choice and applying some willpower instead of just mindlessly consuming something that conflicts with how I really feel about animals in the food chain.  Although I don’t know that I will ever declare myself a hard core pescatarian(fish as only meat) or vegetarian I hope that when given an option I will go the non-carnivore route.

Of course one established part of a non-meat diet are whole grains, especially wheat. This morning one of my bar buddies posted a video of a professor speaking about the real deal with today’s wheat.

Now I was already familiar with the genetic manipulation of corn and soy to maximize yields while making them immune to toxic weed killers.  Well evidently the same sort of work has been done with modern wheat as well.

Of course this doesn’t really surprise me if I am being honest.  You can be almost assured that anything that is mass produced by the food industry is going to have shit in it that if you knew about would give you pause.

Anyway, if you want to get more depressed about the state of the food industry, take a look at this.

There were two surprises in yesterdays NFL news. The first was the news that Tim Tebow was traded to the Jets.  This didn’t seem to make any sense to me considering they just gave their starting QB,  Mark Sanchez a huge contract extension that he really didn’t deserve based on performance.  It seems like a horrible fit.

Sanchez has a history of having a rather frail personality.  Having Tebow on the team means he will be constantly looking over his shoulder and the fans will surely be chanting for Tebow the second Sanchez screws up.

Then later in the day there was news that the Tebow trade was back in the air and he now had an option to go to the Jets OR the Jaguars.  The Jags seemed to be a much better fit if for no other reason that the presence of Tebow would help pump some much needed excitement and attendance numbers into the franchise.

Well once again this morning the report is Tebow will be going to the Jets after all, that’s a real head scratcher for me.  It certainly doesn’t make the Jets brain trust appear to be very sharp.

However the real shocker for me yesterday was the news that the league was suspending the Saints coach, Sean Peyton for the entire 2012/2013 season for his role in the team bounties.  Evidently the defensive coordinator for the Saints, Greg Williams, was offering bounties for his defensive players to injure opposing QB’s to the point where they are knocked out of the game.  Williams, who is no longer with the team, has been suspended indefinitely.

Anyway, I thought the suspension was really severe.  The idea of bounties in the NFL is quite old.  Hell I remember Buddy Ryan talking about them openly during his time with the Eagles.  Well evidently in the new warm and fuzzy NFL this is a major no no.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think offering money for players to try to hurt an opposing team’s player is cool at all.  I just think the year long suspension without pay (will cost Peyton 6 MILLION DOLLARS) is over the top.

Sure, suspend him for a few games him but don’t cripple the team for the entire year in the process.  Hell they also took two draft picks away from the team in addition to a hefty fine.

Obviously this was intended to send a message.  I am sure the rest of the teams in the league heard it loud and clear.